MY INVESTMENT IN THE FAR WEST. "A GOLDEN opportunity, sir; Fortune knocking at your door, as she knocks but once in a man's lifetime; and if you refuse to let her in, excuse me, sir, but you will repent it you will." Such were the persuasive words of Colonel Coriolanus Sling, as he cracked his filberts and sipped his sherry in the snug dining-room of my villa at Stamford Hill. The Colonel, as his name indicates pretty clearly, was an eminent citizen of the model republic, not long arrived on British ground, and the bearer of an introductory letter from my esteemed friend Cassius Corkey, a late Secretary of Legation. I had given a little dinner in honour of my new acquaintance; the repast had gone off pleasantly enough, and the ladies had left us four gentlemen to our wine and politics, when the Colonel uttered the above remarks. It was early autumn, and, if the flower-beds of the garden were somewhat faded, the shrubberies of Magnolia Villa had still a cheerful aspect; and the lawn, as seen through the French windows, was smooth and trim as a gigantic piece of Genoa velvet. Not a weed, not a withered leaf, marred the neatness of the bright gravel of the walks the fountain was in full play, liberally sprinkling the goldfish in the little marble basin; and the transparent walls of the conservatory showed a wealth of manytinted flowers within. There may be larger and more stately residences than Magnolia Villa, but I flatter myself that few proprietors could make more of four and a half acres of ground, imperial measurement, than your humble servant, George Bulkeley. We were, as I have said, four in company-the Colonel; young Tom Harris of the Stock Exchange; a friend and countryman of the Colonel's, by name Dr Titus A. C. Bett; and myself. "Why, Colonel Sling," answered I, doubtfully, "I don't quite know about that. The distance, you see, is great, and the risk may be Nothing at all!" interrupted my guest, warmly; "I pledge you the honour, sir, of a free-born citizen of the U-nited States, nothing at all! The plum, sir, is ripe, and ready to drop into your mouth spontaneous; and I may safely assure you, sir, that nothing but my gratitude for your hospitality would have induced me to promulgate a scheme so out-and-out auriferous as the Great Nauvoo and Nebraska Railway will eventuate." I did not always find it in my power to follow the Colonel through all the windings of an argument. His exuberant diction was occasionally too much for me; but the drift of what he said was pretty clear, and I was greatly struck with it. Tom Harris, who had been staring at the Colonel with his round eyes very wide open, here ventured to say that he supposed there would be considerable expenditure before any returns could be expected. "Guess you'd better shut up," said, or rather snuffled, Dr Titus A. C. Bett. "I have documents in my pocket to substantiate the number of miles metalled, and the bridges, and the viaducts, and general plant. A mere flea bite of outlay, sir, would suffice to establish another of those mighty arteries of communication in respect to which America, it's pretty much admitted, whips the world; and none but a softhorn, sir, would have the least dubiosity about it." For The Doctor and the Colonel were compatriots, one being a Boston man and the other a New-Yorker, but they were very unlike each other in aspect and manner. whereas the Colonel was six feet two inches high, at the very least computation, and had an eagle beak, keen dark eyes, and a forest of lank black hair streaming around his sallow face; the Doctor was a little man of five feet three, or thereabouts, with weak eyes, spectacles, a head almost bald, and a little wizened countenance. Furthermore, the Colonel was a soft-spoken man, with conciliatory manners and a peculiarly honeyed tone; and though he smoked prodigiously, he consumed tobacco in no other way. The Doctor, on the other hand, was quarrelsome and warlike to a degree, capped every anecdote, contradicted everybody, hummed and buzzed in society like an angry wasp, and kept a silver box full of quids in his coat-pocket. These two were partners. Ill-natured people were malicious enough to say that the Colonel's department was cajolery, and the Doctor's bullying, in the joint interest of the firm. I gave no ear to these unkind rumours, and indeed I justly considered the Colonel to be a man of superior abilities and remarkable eloquence. He did not omit, on this occasion, to spread a little soothing salve on the wounds which his countryman's rudeness had inflicted. "Excuse the worthy Doctor," he murmured, in bland accents, to Tom Harris, whose face was very red with awkward indignation, "he is accustomed to the free discussions of our colossal country, where the restrictive etiquette of older and more despotic lands is spurned beneath the boot-heels of enlightenment. Do not be riled, I beseech you, at the freedom of his remarks; truth inspires them. You do not know, gentlemen " (here the orator's voice swelled into a sonorous fulness)" you cannot know-the resources of our glorious country: none but American citizens can fully appreciate the mines of profitable pro-duce always awaiting the civilising pick-axe of the hardy western pioneer. But never, never since first our Pilgrim Fathers began to improve the Indians off the face of nature. never since Manhattan changed its name to New Amsterdam, afterwards to be New York-has such a speculation as this, of which I am the felicitous herald, been going a-begging. Hail, Columbia, happy land! as our inspired bard, who whips your Swan of-ahem!" And here the Colonel ended in some confusion, and hid his fluent lips for a moment in his wine-glass. Tom Harris was quite appeased. He was not a bright personage, Tom, but he did very well on the Stock Exchange, to which he may be said to have been born and bred. He was the only son of the wellknown old Peter Harris, the man who made so much, as a bear, at the time of the Nore mutiny. He, Tom-not old Peter-had inherited a great deal of money; and though he set up for a sporting man, and generally hedged so artfully, and made up such ingenious books on the races that his alternative was between great losses and small ones, he was richer than when he came into his father's fortune. For money accrues to money, as a snowball gathers in rolling; and it no more requires a genius to thrive in the Stock Market than it does to rule in a Cabinet, if Chancellor Oxenstiern tells the truth. And Tom had married a young lady of property, Miss Mungle, daughter of Chuttnee and Mungle, or rather of the junior partner in that great firm. Tom Harris, therefore, was wild for lucrative investments, and so, in a qualified way, was I; and money was plentiful in the City, as the Times' correspondent daily informed the reading public. We therefore already began to nibble at the tempting bait which the Colonel placed before us so dexterously. "But," said I, "is the traffic certain to be remunerative? The line runs through rather a thinlypeopled tract of country, doesn't it ?" Colonel Coriolanus Sling slapped his leathery palm upon the polished mahogany with an emphasis that made the glasses ring. 'Sir," said he, "you are the most sensible Nauvoo and Nebraska Railway, of which our American friends were the fortunate owners. I was an older man than Tom Harris, and had necessarily seen more of the world. And I had been "bit," as the phrase goes, once or twice, by Mexican Debentures, Spanish Deferred, and unsaleable Scrip. I therefore asked, as delicately as I could, why my new acquaintances had not raised among the enlightened capitalists of their own country a sufficient amount to pay all preliminary expenses, thus keeping the golden fruit entirely among Americans. But the Colonel had an answer ready for me. He frowned, pursed up his month, bit his lips, and assumed very much the air of a conspirator. man I have met in this benighted to work out the concession of the -I mean this beautiful kingdom. You have hit the exact point, my dear Mr Bulkeley, on which the eligibility of the whole affair pivots, only you must look at it from that sublimely piercing elevation from which the American intellect surveys it. Sir, we must create a population: sir, we must found cities: sir, it must be ours to people the western solitudes and to implant the germs of a nascent commerce, a new learning, a fresh community, where now the coon and the prairie dog dwell unmolested and alone: and, sir, future ages will decree to us colossal statues of imperishable brass; while in this we shall realise the applause of our consciences and of our bankers." Here the Colonel stopped, overpowered by his feelings, and blew his nose with a martial dissonance. "By Jove!" said Tom Harris, "I'll speak to old Muggins about it if he says 'all right,' I'll take a thousand shares in the concern." "Muggins, sir! who is Muggins?" demanded the Doctor, waspishly: "is Muggins, sir, a fit judge when such an enterprise is in questionan enterprise to reflect eternal honour, sir, on its spirited and high-feluting projectors, with the finger of ignominy to point at the craven that draws back. Muggins! some stony-hearted London capitalist-some toad-eater at the beck of a bloated aristocracy-some miserable haunter of the gilded saloons of a Chancellor of the Exchequer" (the doctor was not very particular as to the authenticity of the accusations he flung broadcast). "Muggins, indeed!" Tom Harris was an ingenuous youth. He looked excessively ashamed of his allusion to Muggins, and was quite borne down by the volubility of his transatlantic opponent. Thus it came about that a meeting was arranged for the next day at Colonel Sling's chambers, at which we were to discuss the propriety of forming a company "Hush!" he uttered, in tragic tones; then rushing to the door, whisked it open, putting to rout Adolphus the page, who always is listening at keyholes, in spite of repeated corporal punishment. Adolphus scuttled away across the hall in great dismay, and the Colonel returned to his seat with an expression that Iago might have envied. "Hush!" said he, "walls have auriculars, and spies are always on the watch to re-port the words of Columbia's children. It is well known that your arbitrary Government has long adopted the wicked maxim due to the crafty forethought of your Pitt, Earl of Holland, that America's danger is England's opportunity.'' I could not help laughing as I answered, "I am afraid, Colonel, your memory has not rendered the passage in exactly its original form." City, and Wall Street would have snapped it up; yes, sir, as an alligator would chaw pork." This was a forcible simile, but it did not quite content us. "Why didn't you?" was trembling on the lips of both Tom Harris and myself, but politeness restrained us from uttering what our looks must have plainly said. The Colonel answered our looks thus: "Because, squires, there was this difficulty in the way,-Buck, you know, is our old man.' "I beg your pardon," said Tom, reddening again; "but I don't quite catch your meaning. Buck, did you call the gentleman ?" "Buck! the old man! White House-deputations-soirees-soft sawder," explained the Doctor; and then we discovered that President Buchanan was the object of dis course. "Well, pursued the Colonel, Buck's very far gone-notice to quit-time nearly up. His successor is sure to be Abe Lincoln, if the little giant don't beat him at the election. Nobody else has got a chance. Caucuses all at work! dark as moles. Now, sir, we have plugged the platform.' "You've done what?" exclaimed Tom Harris. "We've made it all safe, and Lincoln stands to win," exclaimed the Colonel, condescendingly. "Now we suspect those Southerners mean to ride rusty if they get an antislavery man, like old Abe, to be President over them; and though our folks air screamers, and that's a fact, the South's an ugly customer, and our line of railway is too close to Missouri State to be safe, if owned by Northerners. But in the smartest row the South can make, you Britishers are sure to be handled as tenderly as a hoosier handles a squirrel's skin; and so it's best the property should be in the name of British subjects, not free citizens. Don't you see?" We did see, and we resolved that on the morrow we would sift the matter thoroughly. "Try the claret, Colonel," said I; you have been drinking nothing but sherry, and this is Chateau Margaux that I got at Bilkingham's sale. Those are pretty good peaches, Doctor, of my own growing." "Don't talk of peaches," said the Doctor, who, I will own, was anything but an agreeable guest; you must cross the broad Atlantic before you talk of peaches, I reckon. I've fed pigs with better than your dukes and earls could show. I've bought in the market twenty-nine big peaches for thirty cents, I have. We do crow over you in peaches, as in most, only your national vanity won't permit you to see it." The Colonel jumped from his chair. "You be quiet!" said he; "the Doctor is a glowing patriot, Mr Bulkeley; but I know he admires your delightful snuggery, embellished by art and high-flying taste, as much as I do myself. Some day, as a director of the Nauvoo and Nebraska, you may, if you please, build a palace on the site of Magnolia Villa that will take the shine out of the sumptuous halls of your nobility. But enough of business. Gentlemen, if you have liquored sufficiently, we will join the ladies." We We did join the ladies. found them strolling over the lawn in the cool of a September evening, and presently we all went in to coffee. I noticed that the Colonel was very polite and attentive, not only to my wife, but to young Mrs Harris, who was exceedingly stupid and plain of feature. As for Mrs and Miss Jarman, they were entertained by the Doctor with an amusing dissertation on the difference between America and England, and especially between London and New York. If Mrs Jarman had hitherto cherished a belief in the pre-eminence of London, as she apparently had, she must have received a considerable shock as the Doctor informed her that Belgravia was but a poor place to Fourth and Fifth Avenue, and that we were benighted creatures in all matters of elegance and taste. "Not a mahogany door, I guess, have I seen in this smoky beggarly town of yours," said Dr Bett, with both thumbs in the pockets of his black satin vest; "and as for silver knockers and bell-pulls, I might as well look for liberty in your institutions, or for sincerity in your press. The helps are enough to disgust all free-born men; to see them in plush and powder, with goldsticks and nosegays, standing behind the gilt vehicles of an effete aristocracy, is alone a spectacle that beats earthquakes; and your Life Guards would sing small, I guess, by the side of the Brooklyn Volunteers." The Colonel, however, could be complimentary and gentle, if his brother republican could not; and so well did he play his cards, that when the company drove off, and the last grinding of their carriage wheels upon the gravel had died away, my wife and daughters turned to me with beaming faces, and began to sing the praises of their departed guest. "A most superior, well-informed, gentlemanly man, is Colonel Sling," said the partner of my joys, emphatically. "A delightful man!" lisped Georgina, my eldest. "Quite an Admirable Crichton," said Selina, my second, who is a bit of a blue. "Delightful! he has so much conversation, and makes one laugh so!" cried artless Lucy, the third and youngest of my daughters. So he had pleased them all, and, I admit, he had pleased me too; but he mostly showed his tact in winning the suffrages of the feminine members of my household. For Mrs Bulkeley is not a cipher by any means, even in my business transactions, and she has an amiable habit of warning me against entering into commercial relations with any one she mistrusts or dislikes. The next day beheld assembled in the showy Pall Mall chambers of Colonel Sling the same quartette that had closed around the mahogany in Magnolia Villa on the preceding day. Tom Harris and I drove down there together from the City, and we found the two Americans awaiting us with a hearty welcome. There were maps on a great table, and plans, and minerals, and parchments, and heaps of papers, carefully stacked and docqueted, and files of letters with great red seals to them that would have carried conviction home to the most incredulous. And the Colonel, after the first salutations were over, and after tenderly inquiring about the health of my womankind, commenced a lucid explanation of the exact position of the Nauvoo and Nebraska Railway-its position, I mean, in a pecuniary point of view, not its geographical position. The latter, we ascertained by a glance at the map, to be in the free State of Iowa, skirting Missouri, and with one terminus in Illinois State and the other in Nebraska Territory. But information now came showering upon us, and the Colonel was extremely careful to prove every fresh axiom which he laid down by an appeal to documents of the most incontrovertible character. There was the original concession of the line, approved by the State Legislature, signed by the governor, registered by the State's law officers and by the Federal attorney of the district. There were similar documents, to which the autographs of the governors of Nebraska and Illinois were attached. There were the reports of surveyors, the accounts of contractors, subcontractors, architects, machinists, and ironmasters. Moreover, there were specimens of minerals found in the immediate neighbourhood of the line, and within the liberal grant of land which the State had made-which specimens the Colonel showed us, in rather a careless way, as mere incidental advantages. But the eyes of Tom Harris and myself sparkled at the sight; for although we were not |