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Tell cook to dress those humming birds,
I shot in Mexico,
They'll be un peu trop haut.
I'll try that wine too, a la rose,
Just brought from Ispahan;
Endure that vile champagne ?
The trip I took the other day,
To breakfast in the moon,
Has spoiled my new balloon.
For, steering through the milky way,
He ran against a star,
And turning round again too soon,
Came jolt against my car.
Such fellows ought to keep below;
And never venture there;
By no way but the Bear.
My time is surely up by now
Put the high pressure on;
All right-hey-whizz—I'm gone.
Ar Trin. Col. Cam.-which means, in proper spelling,
Trinity College, Cambridge,-there resided
In all the learning commonly provided
The odds at any race or mateh;
Could kick up rows-knock down the watch-
Drink-tie cravats-drive a tandem.
Seem'd but to make his lapses greater,
Expulsion from his Alma Mater.
One need not be a necromancer
To guess that with so great a wight,
Home as the midnight chimes were tolling,
The second peal was vain—the third
Made the street echo next alarum ;
“Who's there?-I s'pose young Harum-scarum.” “ Tis I, my worthy Ben-'tis Harry."
Ay, so I thought-and there you'll tarry, “ 'Tis past the hour—the gates are closed
“You know my orders-) shall lose
“My place if I undo the door.”-
“Shall be expell’d if you refuse, So pr’ythee''-Ben began to snore.“ I'm wet,” cried Harry, to the skin,
Hip! hallo! Ben—dont be a ninney; “ Beneath the gate I've thrust a guinea, “ So tumble out and let me in.”
“Humpb!” growl'd the greedy old Curmudgeon, Half overjoy'd and half in dudgeon. “Now you may pass, but make no fuss,
“On tiptoe walk and hold your prate.”“ Look on the stones, old Cerberus,"
Cried Harry as be pass’d the gate, “I've dropp'd a shilling-take the light, "You'll find it just outside-good night.”
Behold the porter in his shirt,
Cursing the rain which never stopp'd,
Because no shilling had been dropp'd,
He rang once- --twice-and thrice, and then, Mingled with gigglings heard the tones
Of Harry mimicing old Ben.“Who's there?-'Tis really a disgrace
“ To ring so loud-I've lock'd the gate
“I know my duty—'Tis too late-
“ Psha ! Mr. Dashington; remember,
“I'm stripp'd ;-'tis raining cats and dogs,"
As a whole company of hogs.
“ At the same rate I paid myself.”
Replied the avaricious elf,
“ I won't take less ;- I can't afford it.”
Drew out the guinea and restored it.
“Surely you'll give me,” growld th’ outwitted
“ Since as you urge, I broke your rest,
“And you're half drown's and quite undress'd, “ I'll give you leave to go to bed.”