will use your skill:-Good cousins, have a care hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross this busy time. [Exeunt. him any way, I bless myself every way: You are both sure, and will assist me? SCENE III.-Another room in Leonato's house. Con. What the goujere,' my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad? D. John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. Con. You should hear reason. D. John. And when I have heard it, what blessing bringeth it? Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance. D. John. I wonder that thou being (as thou say'st thou art) born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have a stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when am drowsy, and tend to no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour. Con. To the death, my lord. D. John. Let us to the great supper; their the cook were of my mind!-Shall we go prove cheer is the greater, that I am subdued: 'Would what's to be done? Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I-A hall in Leonato's house. Enter Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him, but I am heart-burned an hour after. Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. Beat. He were an excellent man, that were made just in the mid-way between him and BeneCon. Yea, but you must not make the full show dick the one is too like an image, and says of this, till you may do it without controlment. nothing; and the other, too like my lady's eldest You have of late stood out against your brother, son, evermore tattling. and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where Leon. Then half signior Benedick's tongue in it is impossible you should take true root, but by count John's mouth, and half count John's melanthe fair weather that you make yourself: it is choly in signior Benedick's face,needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world,-if he could get her good will. D. John. I had rather be a canker3 in a hedge, than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all, than to fashion a carriage Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be Ant. In faith, she is too curst. curst he sends none. Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. denied that I am a plain-dealing villain. I am Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lestrusted with a muzzle, and enfranchised with a sen God's sending that way: for it is said, God clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my sends a curst cow short horns; but to a cow too cage; if I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking in the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. Con. Can you make no use of your discontent? D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? What news, Borachio? Enter Borachio. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening: Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face; I had rather lie in the woollen. Leon. You may light upon a husband, that hath Bora. I came youder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is royally entertained by no beard. Leonato; and I can give you intelligenee of an Beat. What should I do with him? dress him intended marriage. D. John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betroths himself to unquietness? Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. D. John. A very forward March chick! came you to this? How in my apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and lead his apes into hell. Leon. Well then, go you into hell? Beat. No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Gel you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you malds: so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. Ant. Well, niece, [To Hero.] I trust, you will your father. Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it be ruled by agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for Beat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make himself, and having obtained her, give her to count courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you :--but Claudio. yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome felD. John. Come, come, let us thither; this may low, or else make another courtesy, and say, Foprove food to my displeasure: that young start-up ther, as it please me. (1) The venereal disease. (2) Flatter. (9) Dog-rose. (4) Serious. Q Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, fitted with a husband. there's an end. Beat. Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren; and truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred. Leon. Daughter, remember, what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so. Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? and Beat. That I was disdainful,-and that I had my good wit out of the Hundred merry Tales ;-Well, this was signior Benedick that said so. Bene. What's he? Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough. Beat. Did he never make you laugh? Beat. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him, there is measure in every Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull thing, and so dance out the answer. For hear me, fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanHero; wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a ders: none but libertines delight in him; and the Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany ¿ suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as for he both pleaseth men, and angers them, and fantastical; the wedding, mannerly modest, as a then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure, measure full of state and ancientry; and then he is in the fleet; I would he had boarded me. comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into what you say. his grave. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly, Beat. I have a good eye, uncle: I can see a church by day-light. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make good room. Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthazar; Don John, Borachio, Margaret, Ursula, and others, masked. D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your friend ?2 Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially, when I walk away. D. Pedro. With me in your company? D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? Hero. When I like your favour: for God defend, the lute should be like the case! D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. Beat. Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which peradventure, not marked, or not laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge's wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. [Music within.] We must follow the leaders. Bene. In every good thing. them at the next turning. Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave [Dance. Then exeunt all but Don John, Borachio, and Claudio. D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it: the ladies follow her, and but one visor remains. Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing," D. John. Are not you signior Benedick? D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. have many ill qualities. Bene. Which is one? Marg. I say my pravers aloud. Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry Amen. Marg. God match me with a good dancer! Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when the dance is done!-Answer, clerk. Balth. No more words; the clerk is answered. Urs. I know you well enough; you are signior Antonio. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man: Here's his dry hand up and down; you are he, you are he. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? D. John. I heard him swear his affection. D. John. Come, let us to the banquet. [Exeunt Don John and Borachio. Bene. Count Claudio? Bene. Come, will you go with me? Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own business, count. What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like a usurer's (7) Passion. (6) Carriage, demeanour. chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's in hell, as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purscarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince pose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all hath got your Hero. disquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her. Claud. I wish him joy of her. Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think, the prince would have served you thus ? Claud. I pray you, leave me. Re-enter Claudio and Beatrice. D. Pedro. Look, here she comes. Bene. Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat me on; I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the the post.. farthest inch of Asia; bring you the length of PresClaud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit. ter John's foot; fetch you a hair off the great Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep Cham's beard; do you any embassage to the Piginto sedges. But, that my lady Beatrice should mies, rather than hold three words' conference with know me, and not know me! The prince's fool!-this harpy: You have no employment for me? Ha! it may be, I go under that title, because I am D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good commerry.-Yea; but so; I am apt to do myself wrong: pany. I am not so reputed: it is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. Re-enter Don Pedro, Hero, and Leonato. Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and, I think, I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped. D. Pedro. To be whipped! What's his fault? Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it. D. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer. Bene. O God, sir, here's a dish I love not: I cannot endure my lady Tongue. [Exit. D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of signior Benedick. Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one: marry, once before, he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well say, I have lost it. D. Pedro. You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. D. Pedro, Why, how now, count? wherefore are you sad? Claud. Not sad, my lord. Beat. The count is neither sad nor sick, nor merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion. Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had D. Pedro. I'faith, lady, I think your blazon to been made, and the garland too; for the garland be true; though I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conhe might have worn himself; and the rod he might ceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy have bestowed on you, who, as I take it, have stol'n his bird's nest. D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; the gentleman, that danced with her, told her, she is much wronged by you. name, and fair Hero is won: I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained: name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace say Amen to it! Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue.4 Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much.Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for you, and dote upon the exchange. Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have answered her; my very visor began to Beat. Speak, cousin; or if you cannot, stop his assume life, and scold with her: She told me, not mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak, neither. thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's D. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. Jester; that I was duller than a great thaw; hud-| Beat. Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it dling jest upon jest, with such impossible' convey-keeps on the windy side of care:-My cousin tells ance, upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, him in his ear, that he is in her heart. with a whole army shooting at me: she speaks Claud. And so she doth, cousin. poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were Beat. Good lord, for alliance!-Thus goes every as terrible as her terminations, there were no living one to the world but I, and I am sun-burned; I may near her, she would infect to the north star. I sit in a corner, and cry, heigh ho! for a husband. would not marry her, though she were endowed D. Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. with all that Adam had left him before he trans- Beat. I would rather have one of your father's gressed: she would have made Hercules have getting: Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? turned spit; yea, and have cleft his club to make Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you shall find come by them. her the infernal Até in good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet D. Pedro. Will you have me, lady? Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days:-your grace is too costly to wear every day:-But, I beseech your grace, pardon (4) Turn: a phrase among the players. me; I was born to speak all mirth, and no matter. D. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. Beat. No, sure; my lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.-Cousins, God give you joy! Leon. Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? D. John. What life is in that, to be the death of Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's this marriage? pardon. [Exit Beatrice. Bora. The poison of that lies in you to temper. D. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. Go you to the prince your brother: spare not to Leon. There's little of the melancholy element tell him, that he hath wronged his honour in marin her, my lord: she is never sad, but when she rying the renowned Claudio (whose estimation do sleeps; and not ever sad then; for I have heard you mightily hold up) to a contaminated stale, my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of un-such a one as Hero. happiness, and waked herself with laughing. D. Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. D. John. What proof shall I make of that? Leon. O, by no means; she mocks all her woo- for any other issue? ers out of suit. D. John. Only to despite them, I will endeavour D. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Bene-any thing. dick. Leon. O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. Bora. Go then, find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the count Claudio, alone: tell them, that you know that Hero loves me; intend3 a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, as-in love of your brother's honour who hath made this Claud. To-morrow, my lord: Time goes on match; and his friend's reputation, who is thus crutches, till love have all his rites. D. Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church? Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven-night; and a time too brief too, to have all things answer my mind. like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid,that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood, than to see me D. Pedro. Come, you shake the head at so long at her chamber-window; hear me call Margaret, a breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the Hero; hear Margaret term me Borachio; and time shall not go dully by us; I will, in the interim, bring them to see this, the very night before the inundertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to tended wedding: for, in the mean time, I will so bring signior Benedick, and the lady Beatrice into fashion the matter, that Hero shall be absent; and a mountain of affection, the one with the other. I there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's would fain have it a match; and I doubt not but disloyalty, that jealousy shall be called assurance, to fashion 1, if you three will but minister such and all the preparation overthrown. assistance as I shall give you direction. Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings. Claud. And I, my lord. D. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero? Hero. I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband. D. John. Grow this to what adverse issue it can, will put it in practice: Be cunning in the work ing this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. Bora. Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me. D. John. I will presently go learn their day of marriage. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-Leonato's Garden. Enter Benedick and a Boy. it Bene. Boy,- Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book; bring hither to me in the orchard. Boy, I am here already, sir. D. Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know: thus far can I praise him; he is of a noble strain,' of approved valour, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick:-and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedíck, that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no Bene. I know that;-but I would have thee longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we hence, and here again. [Exit Boy.]—I do much are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will wonder, that one man, seeing how much another tell you my drift. [Exeunt. man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours to SCENE II. Another room in Leonato's house. love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow Enter Don John and Borachio. follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn, by falling in love: and such a man is ClauD. John. It is so; the count Claudio shall marry dio. have known, when there was no music with the daughter of Leonato. Bora. Yea, my lord; but I can cross it. him but the drum and fife, and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe: I have known, when D. John. Any bar, any cross, any impediment he would have walked ten mile afoot, to see a good will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displea- armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, sure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his carving the fashion of a new doublet, He was affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canst wont to speak plain, and to the purpose, like an thou cross this marriage? honest man, and a soldier; and now is he turned orBora. Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly thographer; his words are a very fantastical banthat no dishonesty shall appear in me. quet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted, and see with these eyes? I cannot tell, I think not; I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath Bene. [Aside.] An he had been a dog, that on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall should have howled thus, they would have hanged never make me such a fool. One woman is fair; him: and I pray God, his bad voice bode no misyet I am well: another is wise; yet I am well: chief! I had as lief have heard the night-raven, another virtuous; yet I am well: but till all graces come what plague could have come after it. be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my D. Pedro. Yea, marry; [To Claudio.]-Dost grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or thou hear, Balthazar? I pray thee, get us some I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, excellent music; for to-morrow night we would or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near have it at the lady Hero's chamber-window. me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good dis- Balth. The best I can, my lord. course, an excellent musician, and her hair shall D. Pedro. Do so: farewell. [Exeunt Balthazar be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and music.] Come hither, Leonato: What was it and monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour. you told me of to-day? that your niece Beatrice [Withdraws. was in love with signior Benedick? Enter Don Pedro, Leonato, and Claudio. As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony! Claud. O, ay:-Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl sits. [Aside to Pedro.] I did never think that lady would have loved any man. Leon. No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she should so dote on signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviours seemed ever to D. Pedro. See you where Benedick hath hid abhor. himself? Claud. O, very well, my lord: the music ended,| We'll fit the kid-fox' with a penny-worth. Enter Balthazar, with music. D. Pedro. Come, Balthazar, we'll hear that song again. Balth. O good my lord, tax not so bad a voice To slander music any more than once. D. Pedro. It is the witness still of excellency, Balth. Because you talk of wooing, I will sing; D. Pedro. Nay, pray thee, come: Balth. Note this before my notes, There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting. D. Pedro. Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks; Note, note, forsooth, and noting! [Music. Bene. Now, Divine air! now is his soul ravish ed! Is it not strange, that sheep's guts should! hale souls out of men's bodies ?-Well, a horn for my money, when all's done. Balthazar sings. Balth. Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, But let them go, Sing no more ditties, sing no mo' D. Pedro. By my troth, a good song. Bene. Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner? [Aside. Leon. By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it; but that she loves him with an enraged affection,-it is past the infinite of thought. D. Pedro. May be, she doth but counterfeit. Claud. 'Faith, like enough. Leon. O God! counterfeit! There never was counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion, as she discovers it. D. Pedro. Why, what effects of passion shows she? Leon. What effects, my lord? She will sit you,- D. Pedro. How, how, I pray you? You amaze me: I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. especially against Benedick. Bene. [Aside.] I should think this a gull, but Claud. "Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: Shall I, says she, that have so oft encoun tered him with scorn, write to him that I love him ? Leon, This says she now when she is beginning to write to him: for she'll be up twenty tin es a night; and there will she sit in her smock, till she have writ a sheet of paper :-my daughter tells us all. Claud. Now you talk of a sheet of paper, re member a pretty jest your daughter told us of. Leon. O-When she had writ it, and was reading it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet?— Claud. That. Leon. O she tore the letter into a thousand half-pence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her: I measure him, says she, by my own spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, D. Pedro. Ha? no; no, faith; thou singest well though I love him, I should. enough for a shift. Claud. Then down upon her knees she falls, (1) Young or cub-fox. |