Can aught from cold Kamschatka to Cape Horn
With Waltz compare, or after Waltz be borne ?
Ah, no! from Morier's pages down to Galt's,
Each tourist pens a paragraph for "Waltz."

Shades of those belles whose reign began of yore,
With George the Third's—and ended long before!
Though in your daughters' daughters yet you thrive,
Burst from your lead, and be yourselves alive!
Back to the ball-room speed your spectred host:
Fool's Paradise is dull to that you lost.

No treacherous powder bids conjecture quake;
No stiff-starch'd stays make meddling fingers ache ;
(Transferr'd to those ambiguous things that ape
Goats in their visage,* women in their shape ;)
No damsel faints when rather closely press'd,
But more caressing seems when most caress'd;
Superfluous hartshorn, and reviving salts,
Both banish'd by the sovereign cordial "Waltz."

Seductive Waltz! though on thy native shore
Even Werter's self proclaim'd thee half a whore;
Werter to decent vice though much inclined,
Yet warm, not wanton dazzled, but not blind;
Though gentle Genlis, in her strife with Stael,
Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball;
The fashion hails from countesses to queens,
And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes;
Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads,
And turns if nothing else—at least our heads;

*It cannot be complained now, as in the Lady Baussière's time, of the "Sicu de la Croix," that there be "no whiskers;" but how far these are indications of valour in the field, or elsewhere, may still be questionable. Much may be, and hath been, avouched on both sides. In the olden time philosophers had whiskers, and soldiers none - Scipio himself was shaven- Hannibal thought his one eye handsome enough without a beard; but Adrian, the emperor, wore a beard (having warts on his chin, which neither the Empress Sabina nor even the courtiers could abide) - Turenne had whiskers, Marlborough none- Buonaparte is unwhiskered, the Regent whiskered; "argal" greatness of mind and whiskers may or may not go together: but certainly the different occurrences, since the growth of the last-mentioned, go further in behalf of whiskers than the anathema of Anselm did against long hair in the reign of Henry I.

Formerly, red was a favourite colour. See Lodowick Barrey's comedy of Ram Alley, 1661; Act I. Scene 1.

Taffeta. Now for a wager-What coloured beard comes next by the window? "Adriana. A black man's, I think.

64

Taffeta. I think not so: I think a red, for that is most in fashion."

There is "nothing new under the sun; "but red, then a favourite, has now subsided into a favourite's colour.

With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce,
And cockneys practise what they can't pronounce.
Gods! how the glorious theme my strain exalts,
And rhyme finds partner rhyme in praise of " Waltz!"

Blest was the time Waltz chose for her début ;
The court, the Regent, like herself, were new; *
New face for friends, for foes some new rewards;
New ornaments for black and royal guards;
New laws to hang the rogues that roar'd for bread;
New coins (most new †) to follow those that fled;
New victories nor can we prize them less,
Though Jenky wonders at his own success;
New wars, because the old succeed so well,
That most survivors envy those who fell;
New mistresses-

no, old — and yet 't is true,

Though they be old, the thing is something new;

Each new, quite new — (except some ancient tricks, †)
New white-sticks, gold-sticks, broom-sticks, all new sticks,
With vests or ribands-deck'd alike in hue,

New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue:

So saith the muse

my- - what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain
Her new preferments in this novel reign ;
Such was the time, nor ever yet was such;
Hoops are no more, and petticoats not much;
Morals and minuets, virtue and her stays,

And tell-tale powder - all have had their days.
The ball begins the honours of the house

First duly done by daughter or by spouse,

* An anachronism - Waltz and the battle of Austerlitz are before said to hav opened the ball together: the bard means (if he means any thing), Waltz was not so much in vogue till the Regent attained the acme of his popularity. Waltz, the comet, whiskers, and the new government, illuminated heaven and earth, in all their glory, much about the same time of these the comet only has disappeared; the other three continue to astonish us still. — Printer's Devil.

+ Amongst others a new ninepence-a creditable coin now forthcoming, worth a pound, in paper, at the fairest calculation.

"Oh that right should thus overcome might!" Who does not remember the "delicate investigation" in the "Merry Wives of Windsor?" "Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest; I deserve it. How now? whither bear you this?

Mrs. Ford. What have you to do whither they bear it?—you were best meddle with buck-washing."

The gentle, or ferocious, reader, may fill up the blank as he pleases - there are several dissyllabic names at his service (being already in the Regent's). would not be fair to back any peculiar initial against the alphabet, as every month will add to the list now entered for the sweepstakes:- a distinguished consonant is said to be the favourite, much against the wishes of the knowing

ones.

Some potentate

-

or royal or serene —

*

With Kent's gay grace, or sapient Gloster's mien,
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free,
That spot where hearts were once supposed to be,
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
The strangest hand may wander undisplaced;
The lady's in return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch.

Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip,
One hand reposing on the royal hip ;
The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal!

Thus front to front the partners move or stand,
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand;
And all in turn may follow in their rank,
The Earl of Asterisk and Lady

Blank;

Sir Such-a-one with those of fashion's host,

For whose blest surnames vide "Morning Post ;"

(Or if for that impartial print too late,

Search Doctors' Commons six months from my date,)—
Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow,

The genial contact gently undergo;

Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk,

If "nothing follows all this palming work?"

True, honest Mirza!- you may trust my rhyme -
Something does follow at a fitter time;

The breast thus publicly resign'd to man,

In private may resist him

if it can.

O ye who loved our grandmothers of
Fitzpatrick, Sheridan, and many more!

yore,

And thou, my prince! whose sovereign taste and will
It is to love the lovely beldames still!

Thou ghost of Queensbury ! whose judging sprite
Satan may spare to peep a single night,

-

As

* "We have changed all that," says the Mock Doctor- 't is all gonemodeus knows where. After all, it is of no great importance how women's hearts are disposed of; they have nature's privilege to distribute them as ab surdly as possible. But there are also some men with hearts so thoroughly bad. as to remind us of those phenomena often mentioned in natural history; viz. a mass of solid stone-only to be opened by force- and when divided, you discover a toad in the centre, lively, and with the reputation of being venomous. + In Turkey a pertinent, here an impertinent and superfluous, question-literally put, as in the text, by a Persian to Morier, on seeing a waltz in Pera.Vide Morier's Travels.

VOL. V.—и h

Pronounce if ever in your days of bliss
Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this;
To teach the young ideas how to rise,
Flush in the cheek, and languish in the eyes;
Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame,
With half-told wish and ill-dissembled flame;
For prurient nature still will storm the breast
Who, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?

But ye

who never felt a single thought For what our morals are to be, or ought;

Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap,
Say would you make those beauties quite so cheap!
Hot from the hands promiscuously applied,

Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side,
Where were the rapture then to clasp the form
From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm?
At once love's most endearing thought resign,
To press the hand so press'd by none but thine;
To gaze upon that eye which never met
Another's ardent look without regret ;

Approach the lip which all, without restraint,
Come near enough - if not to touch

If such thou lovest

Or give

like her

to taint,

love her then no more,
caresses to a score;

Her mind with these is gone, and with it gc
The little left behind it to bestow.

Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme? Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme. Terpsichore, forgive!-at every ball

My wife now waltzes—and my daughters shall;
My son -(or stop - 't is needless to inquire
These little accidents should ne'er transpire;
Some ages hence our genealogic tree

Will wear as green a bough for him as me) —
Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends,
Grandsons for me

in heirs to all his friends.

THE

AGE OF BRONZE;

OR,

CARMEN SECULARE ET ANNUS HAUD MIRABILIS.

'Impar Congressus Achilli."