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Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half an hour
since. Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me hence, Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.
Ant. S. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt; And told'st me of a mistress, and a dinner; For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.
Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merry vein. What means this jest ? I pray you, master, tell me. Ant. S. Yea, dost thou jeer, and flout me in the
teeth ? Think'st thou I jest ? Hold, take thou that, and that.
[Beating him. Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake. Now your jest
Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes
in crannies when he hides his beams.
Dro. S. Sconce, call you it? So you would leave battering, I had rather have it a head. An you use these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and insconceit too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But, I pray, sir, why am I beaten?
Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore; for, they say, every why hath a wherefore. Ant. S. Why, first--for flouting me; and then
wherefore, For urging it the second time to me.
1 i. e. intrude on them when you please. 2 To insconce was to hide, to protect as with a fort.
Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten out
of season? When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither rhyme
nor reason ?Well, sir, I thank you.
Ant. S. Thank me, sir ? for what?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
Ant. S. l’II make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it dinnertime? Dro. $. No, sir ; I think the meat wants that I
Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric,' and purchase me another dry basting. Ant. S. Well
, sir, learn to jest in good time. There's a time for all things.
Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
Ant. S. By what rule, sir ?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain, bald pate of father Time himself.
Ant. S. Let's hear it.
Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover his hair, that grows bald by nature.
Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery?
Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of another man.
Ant. S. Why is time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on
i So in The Taming of the Shrew:
“I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
beasts; and what he hath scanted men' in hair, he hath given them in wit.
Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.
Dro. S. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost. Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Ant. S. For what reason
Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.
Ant. S. You would all this time have proved, there is no time for all things.
Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, e'en no time to recover hair lost by nature.
Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover.
Dro. S. Thus I mend it. Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the world's end, will have bald followers.
Ant. S. I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion. But soft! who wafts 4 us yonder!
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.
Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown ; Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects; I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
1 The old copy reads them: the emendation is Theobald's. 2 To false, as a verb, has been long obsolete; but it was current in Shakspeare's time.
3 The old copy, by mistake, has in. 4 i. e. beckons us.
The time was once, when thou unurged wouldst vow,
Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
1 Fall is here a verb active.
2 i. e. unstained.
Who, every word by all my wit being scanned,
Ant. S. By Dromio ?
Adr. By thee; and this thou didst return from him,
man? What is the course and drift of your compact ?
Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time.
Ant. S. Villain, thou liest; for even her very words Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life.
Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our names, Unless it be by inspiration ?
Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity,
1 i. e. separated, parted.
2 i. e. unfruitful.