Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the offered1 fallacy. Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land;-O, spite of spites!We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites; If we obey them not, this will ensue, They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answerest not? Dromio, thou drone,2 thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! shape. Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form. Dro. S. Dro. S. 'Tis true; 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, But I should know her as well as she knows me. Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn. Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.- Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? 1 The old copy reads freed, which is evidently wrong; perhaps a corruption of proffered or offered. 2 The old copy reads "Dromio, thou Dromio." The emendation is Theobald's. VOL. III. 17 Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. ACT III. [Exeunt. SCENE I. The same. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and Balthazar. Ant. E. Good seignior Angelo, you must excuse us all; My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours. And that to-morrow you will bring it home. I know; That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show. If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink, Your own hand writing would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass. Dro. E. Marry, so it doth appear By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear. I should kick, being kicked; and, being at that pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass. Ant. E. You are sad, seignior Balthazar. 'Pray God, our cheer May answer my good will, and your good welcome here. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your wel come dear. Ant. E. O seignior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords. Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words. Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast. Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest. But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer you may have, but not with better heart. But, soft; my door is locked. Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'! Dro. S. [Within.] Mome,' malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch! 2 Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch. Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store, When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? my master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore. 1 A mome was a fool or foolish jester. Momar is used by Plautus for a fool; whence the French mommeur. 2 Patch was a term of contempt often applied to persons of low condition, and sometimes applied to a fool. Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not dined to-day. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?1 Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name; The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. 2 Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there? Dromio, who are those at the gate? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luce. And so tell your master. 'Faith, no; he comes too late. O Lord, I must laugh.Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my staff? Luce. Have at you with another; that's,-When? can you tell? Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answered him well. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? You'll let us in, I hope ? 3 3 Luce. I thought to have asked Dro. S. you. And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow for blow. Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in. Luce. Can you tell for whose sake? Let him knock till it ache. Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard. 1 I own. 2 Bustle, tumult. 3 It seems probable that a line following this has been lost; in which Luce might be threatened with a rope; which would have furnished the rhyme now wanting. In a subsequent scene Dromio is ordered to go and buy a rope's end, for the purpose of using it on Adriana and her confederates. Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town? Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise? Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before. Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore. Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part1 with neither. Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in. Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin. Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold. It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold. 2 Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope the gate. Dro. S Break any breaking here, and I'll break your knave's pate. Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir ; and words are but wind; Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. Dro. S. It seems thou wantest breaking. Out upon thee, hind! 1 Have part. 2 A proverbial phrase, meaning to be so overreached by foul and secret practices. |