IRISH WIT AND HUMOR

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Page 31 - Let me see, what should I have had ? A couple of lobsters ; ay, that would have done very well ; two shillings — tarts, a shilling : but you will drink a glass of wine with me, though you supped so much before your usual time only to spare my pocket? — 'No, we had rather talk with you than drink with you.
Page 37 - THE HONOURABLE ROBERT BOYLE'S MEDITATIONS. '""PHIS single stick, which you now behold ingloriously lying •*- in that neglected corner, I once knew in a flourishing state in a forest ; it was full of sap, full of leaves, and full of boughs ; but now, in vain does the busy art of man pretend to vie with nature, by tying that withered bundle of twigs to its sapless trunk...
Page 46 - Tis a cheese, which by how much the richer, has the thicker, the homelier, and the coarser coat; and whereof to a judicious palate, the maggots are the best.
Page 38 - ... his green boughs, and left him a withered trunk : he then flies to art, and puts on a periwig, valuing himself upon an unnatural bundle of hairs (all covered with powder), that never grew on his head ; but now, should this our broomstick pretend to enter the scene, proud of those birchen spoils it never bore, and all covered with dust, though the sweepings of the finest lady's chamber, we should be apt to ridicule and despise its vanity.
Page 111 - I speak in the spirit of the British law, which makes liberty commensurate with, and inseparable from, British soil ; which proclaims even to the stranger and the sojourner, the moment he sets his foot upon British earth, that the ground on which he treads is holy, and consecrated by the genius of universal emancipation.
Page 43 - He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.
Page 31 - I'll tell you one that first comes into my head. One evening, Gay and I went to see him: you know how intimately we were all acquainted. On our coming in, 'Heyday, gentlemen...
Page 128 - I speak not now of the public proclamation of informers, with a promise of secrecy and of extravagant reward; I speak not of the fate of those horrid wretches who have been so often transferred from the table to the dock, and from the dock to the pillory ; I speak of what your own eyes have seen day after day...
Page 104 - Britain, a printer has been gravely found guilty of a libel, for publishing those resolutions, to which the present minister of that kingdom had actually subscribed his name ? To what other cause can you ascribe, what in my mind is still more astonishing, in such a country as Scotland, a nation cast in the happy medium between the spiritless acquiescence of submissive poverty, and the sturdy credulity of pampered wealth ; cool and ardent, adventurous and persevering ; winning her eagle flight against...
Page 39 - ... with all his faults, he sets up to be a universal reformer and corrector of abuses, a remover of grievances, rakes into every slut's corner of nature, bringing hidden corruption to the light, and raises a mighty dust where there was none before; sharing deeply all the while in the very same pollutions he pretends to sweep away...

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