Ford. I make bold to prefs with fo little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? give us leave, drawer. [Ex. Bardolph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good mafter Brook, I defire more acquaintance of you. Ford. Good Sir John, I fue for yours; not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think my felf in better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath fomething embolden'd me to this unscafon'd intrusion; for they fay, if mony go before, all ways do lye open. Fal. Money is a good foldier, Sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of mony, here, troubles me; if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for eafing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deferve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good mafter Brook, I fhall be glad to be your fervant. Ford. Sir, I hear, you are a scholar; (I will be brief with you ;) and you have been a man long known to me, tho' I had never fo good means, as defire, to make my felf acquainted with you: I fhall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own Imperfections; but good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pafs with a reproof the eafier; fith you your felf know, how eafie it is to be fuch an offender. Fal. Very well: Sir, proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, Sir. Ford. I have long lov'd her; and, I proteft to you, bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating observance; ingrofs'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many Presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what fhe would have given: briefly, I have purfued her, as love hath purfu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occafions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am fure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel; That I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and That hath taught me to say this; "Love like a fhadow fiies, when fubftance love pursues ; Purfuing That that flies, and flying what pursues. Fal. Have you receiv'd no promife of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose? Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built on another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that tho' fhe appear honeft to me, yet in other places fhe enlargeth her mirth fo far, that there is fhrewd conftruction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O Sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it; there is mony, fpend it, fpend it; fpend more, fpend all I have, only give me fo much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honesty of this Ford's wife; ufe your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prescribe to your felf very prepofterously. Ford. O, understand my drift; fhe dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not present it self; fhe is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my defires had inftance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too ftrongly embattel'd againft me. What fay you to't, Sir John? Fal. Mafter Brook, I will firft make bold with your mony; next, give me your hand; and laft, as I am a gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O good Sir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay, you fhall. Ford. Want no money, Sir John, you fhall want none. Fal. Want no mistress Ford, mafter Brook, you shall want none; I fhall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment. Even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth come you to me at night, you fhall know how I fpeed. Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, Sir? Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him not: yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of mony, for the which his wife feems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and there's my harveft-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical-falt-butter rogue; I will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the Cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know, I will predominate over the peafant; and thou shalt lye with his wife: Come to me foon at night; Ford's a knave, and ; I will aggravate his ftile: thou, master Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckold: come to me foon at night. [Exit Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rafcal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who fays, this is improvident jealoufie? my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fixt, the match is made; would any man have thought this? fee the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed fhall be abus'd, my coffers ranfack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I fhall not only receive this villainous wrong, but ftand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong. Terms, names; Amaimon founds well, Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold, wittol, cuckold! the devil him- · felf hath not such a name. Page is an afs, a fecure ass, he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous: I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irish-man with my Aquavite bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with her felf: then the plots, then the ruminates, then the devifes: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for my jealoufic! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: better three hours too foon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie; cuckold, cuckold, cuckold! Caius. [Exit: SCENE changes to Windsor-Park. Enter Caius and Rugby. ACK Rugby! Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no come; he has pray his pible well, dat he is no come: VOL. I. S by by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wife, Sir; he knew, your worship would kill him, if he came. Caius. By gar, de herring is not fo dead as me vill make him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Rug. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence. Enter Hoft, Shallow, Slender and Page. Hoft. 'Blefs thee, bully-doctor. Slen. Give you good morrow, Sir. Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Hoft. To fee thee fight, to fee thee foigne, to see thee traverse, to fee thee here, to fee thee there, to fee thee pass thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy diftance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francifco? ha, bully? what fays my Escu lapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha? is he dead, bully-ftale? is he dead? Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack-prieft of de vorld; he is not fhow his face. Hoft. Thou art a Caftalion-king-Urinal: Hector of Greece, my boy. Caius. I pray you bear witness, that me have ftay fix or seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shal. He is the wifer man, Mr. Doctor; he is a curer of fouls, and you a curer of bodies: if you fhould fight, you go against the hair of your profesfions: Is it not true, mafter Page? Page. Mafter Shallow, you have your felf been a great fighter, tho' now a man of peace. Shall. Body-kins, Mr. Page, tho' I now be old, and of peace, if I fee a fword out, my finger itches to make one; tho' we are juftices, and doctors, and church |