-Poftquam fregit fubfellia verfu,

Efurit intactam Paridi nifi vendit Agaven.

Juv.

After he had broke the Benches with the Applause of his Verfes, he was forced to fell his Tragedy to prevent ftarving.

No 101.

Thursday, December 1, 1709.

From my own Apartment, November 30.

HE Progress of my intended Account of whathappened when Juftice vifited Mortals, is at prefent interrupted by the Obfervation and Senfe of an Injustice against which there is no Remedy, even in a Kingdom more happy in the Care taken of the Liberty and Property of the Subject, than any other Nation upon Earth. This Iniquity is committed by a most impregnable Set of Mortals, Men who are Rogues within the Law; and in the very Commiffion of what they are guilty of, profeffedly own, that they forbear no Injury but from the Terror of being punished for it. Thefe Mifcreants are a Set of Wretches we Authors call Pirates, who print any Pook, Poem, or Sermon, as foon as it appears in the World, in a fmaller Volume, and fell it (as all other Thieves do ftolen Goods) at a cheaper Rate. I was in my Rage calling them Rafcals, Plunderers, Robbers, Highwaymen. But they acknowledge all that, and are pleased with those, as well as any other Titles; nay, will print them themselves to turn the Penny.

I AM extremely at a Lofs how to act against such open Enemies, who have not fhame enough to be touched with our Reproaches, and are as well defended against what we can fay, as what we can do. Railing

there.

therefore we must turn into Complaint, which I cannot forbear making, when I confider that all the Labours of my long Life may be difappointed by the first Man that pleases to rob me. I had flattered myself, that my Stock of Learning was worth 150l. per Annum, which would very handsomely maintain me and my little Family, who are fo happy or fo wife as to want only Neceffaries. Before Men had come up to this bare faced Impudence, it was an Estate to have a Competency of Understanding.

AN ingenious Drole, who is fince dead, (and indeed it is well for him he is fo, for he must have starved had he lived to this Day) used to give me an Account of his good Husbandry in the Management of his Learning. He was a general Dealer, and had his Amufements as well comical as ferious. The merry Rogue faid, when he wanted a Dinner, he writ a Paragraph of Table Talk, and his Bookfeller upon Sight paid the Reckoning. He was a very good Judge of what would please the People, and could aptly hit both the Genius of his Readers, and the Seafon of the Year in his Writings. His Brain, which was his Eftate, had as regular and different Produce as other Mens Land. From the Beginning of November, till the Opening of the Campaign, he writ Pamphlets and Letters to Members of Farlia ment, or Friends in the Country. But fometimes he would relieve his ordinary Readers with a Murder, and lived comfortably a Week or two upon frange and lamentable Accidents. A little before the Armies took the Field, his Way was to open your Attention with a Prodigy; and a Monfter well writ, was two Guineas the lowest Price. This prepared his Readers for his great and bloody News from Flanders in June and July. Poor Tom! He is gone-But I obferved, he always looked well after a Battle, and was apparently fatter in a fighting Year. Had this honeft carelefs Fellow lived till now, Famine had flared him in the Face, and interrupted his Merriment; as it must be a folid Affliction to all those whofe Pen is their Portion.

AS for my Part, I do not speak wholly for my own Sake in this Point; for Palmiftry and Aftrology will bring me in greater Gains than thefe my Paper fo that I am only in the Condition of a Lawyer,

TA

Love-Powder, to all who are too much enamoured to do more than drefs at their Miftreffes. His Amber OrangeFlower, Mufk, and Civet Violet, put only into an Handkerchi f, shall have the fame Effect towards an honourable Lover's Wishes,ascif he had been wrapped in his Mother's Smock. Wah-Bails Perfumed, Camphired, and Plain, Shall restore Complexions to that Degree, that a Country. Fox hunter, who uses them, shall, in a Week's Time, look with a courtly and affable Palenefs, without using the Bagnio or Cupping. N. B. Mr. Lillie has Snuff, Barcelona, Sevil, Mufty, Plain, and Spanish, which may be taken by a young Beginner without Danger of Sneizing! VON

I

Sheer Lane, Nov. 30. WHEREAS feveral walking dead Perfons arrived within the Bills of Mortality, before and fince the 15th Inftant, having been informed of my Warrant given to the Company of Upholders, and being terrified thereat, (it not baving been advertis'd that Privilege or Protection would be allow'd) have refolved forthwith to retire to their feveral and refpective Abodes in the Country, hoping there, by to elude any Commifion of Interment that may iffue out against them; and being informed of fuch their fallacious Defigns, I do hereby give Notice, as well for the Good of the Publick, as for the great Veneration I have for the before mentioned ufeful Society, that a Procefs is gone our against them; and that, in Cafe of Contempt, they “mag be found or heard of at most Coffee houses in and about Westminster.

I MUST defire my Readers to help me out from Time to Time in the Correction of thefe my Effays; for as a faking Hand does not always write legibly, the Prefs fometimes prints one Word for another; and when my Paper to be revised, I am perhaps fo bufy in obferving the Spots of the Moon, that I have not Time to find out the Errata that are crept into my Lucubrations.

N° 102

No 102. Saturday, December 3, 1709.

T

From

my own Apartment, December 2.

A Continuation of the Vision.

HE Male World were difmiffed by the Goddess of Justice, and difappeared, when on a fudden the whole Plain was covered with Women. So charming a Multitude filled my Heart with unfpeakable Fleafure; and as the celeftial Light of the Mirror fhone upon their Faces, feveral of them feemed rather Perfons that defcended in the Train of the Goddess, than fuch' who were brought before her to their Trial. The Clack of Tongues, and Confufion of Voices, in this new Affembly, were for very great, that the Goddess was forced to command Silence several Times, and with fome Se-. verity, before she could make them' attentive to her Edicts. They were all fenfible, that the most important Affair among Womankind was then to be fettled, which every one knows to be the Point of Place. This had raifed innumerable Difputes among them, and put the whole Sex into a Tumult. Every one produced her Claim, and pleaded her Pretenfions. Birth, Beauty, Wit, or Wealth, were Words that rung in my Ears from all Parts of the Plain. Some boafted of the Merit of their Husbands; others of their own Power in* governing them. Some pleaded their unfpotted Virginity; others their numerous Iffue. Some valued themfelves as they were the Mothers, and others as they were the Daughters, of confiderable Perfons. There was not a fingle Accomplishment unmentioned, or unpractifed. The whole Congregation was full of Singing, Dancing, Toffing, Ogling, Squeaking, Smiling, Sighing, Fanning, Frowning, and all thofe irrefiftible Arts which Women put in Practife, to captivate the Hearts of reasonable Crea

tures.

No 102 tures. The Goddefs, to end this Difpute, caufed it to be proclaimed, That every one should take Place according as he was more or lefs beautiful. This Declaration gave great Satisfaction to the whole Affembly, which immediately bridled up, and appeared in all its Beauties. Such as believed themfelves graceful in, their Motion, found an Occafion of falling back, advancing forward, or making a falfe Step, that they might fhew their Perfons in the most becoming Air. Such as had fine Necks and Bofoms, were wonderfully curious to look over the Heads of the Multitude, and obferve the most distant Parts of the Affembly. Several clapped their Hands on their Foreheads, as helping their Sight to look upon the Glories that furrounded the Goddefs, but in Reality to fhew fine Hands and Arms. The Ladies were yet better pleased, when they heard, that in the Decifion of this great Controverfy, each of them should be her own Judge, and take her Place according to her own Opinion of herfelf, when the confulted her Looking glass.

THE Goddess then let down the Mirror of Truth in a Golden Chain, which appeared larger in Proportion as it defcended and approached nearer to the Eyes of the Beholders. It was the particular Property of this Looking glass to banish all false Appearances, and fhew People what they are. The whole Woman was represented, without Regard to the ufual external Features, which were made entirely conformable to their real Characters. In short, the most accomplished (taking in the whole Circle of Female Perfections) were the most beautiful; and the most defective, the most deformed. The Goddefs fo varied the Motion of the Glass, and placed it in fo many different Lights, that each had an Opportunity of feeing herself in it.

IT is impoffible to defcribe the Rage, the Pleasure, or Aftonishment, that appeared in each Face upon its Reprefentation in the Mirror; Multitudes ftarted at their own Form, and would have broke the Glafs if they could have reached it. Many faw their blooming Features wither as they look'd upon them, and their Self-Admiration turned into a Loathing and Abhorrence. 'The Lady who was thought fo agreeable in her Anger, and was fo often celebrated for a Woman of Fire and

Spirit,