N° 60.

T

Saturday, August 27, 1709.

White's Chocolate-boufe, Auguft 26.

O proceed regularly in the Hiftory of my Wor thies, I ought to give an Account of what has paffed from Day to Day in this Place; but a young Fellow of my Acquaintance has fo lately been refcued out of the Hands of the Knights of the Industry, that I rather chufe to relate the Manner of his Escape from 'em, and the uncommon Way which was used to reclaim him, than to go on in my intended Diary.

YOU are to know then, that Tom. Wildair is a Student of the Inner Temple, and has spent his Time, fince he left the Univerfity for that Place, in the common Diverfions of Men of Fashion; that is to fay, in Whoring, Drinking and Gaming. The two former Vices he had from his Father; but was led into the laft by the Converfation of a Partizan of the Myrmidons, who had Chambers near him. His Allowance from his Father was a very plentiful one for a Man of Senfe, but as fcanty for a modern fine Gentleman. His frequent Loffes had reduced him to fo-neceffitous a Condition, that his Lodgings were always haunted by impatient Creditors, and all his Thoughts employed in contriving low Methods to fupport himself in a Way of Life from which he knew not how to retreat, and in which he wanted Means to proceed. There is never wanting fome good-natured Perfon to fend a Man an Account of what he has no Mind to hear therefore many Epiftles were conveyed to the Father of this Extravagant, to inform him of the Company, the Pleafures, the Diftreffes, and Entertainments, in which his Son paffed his Time. The old Fellow received these Advices with all the Pain of a Parent, but frequently confulted his Pillow to know how to behave himself on fuch important Occafions, as the Welfare of his Son, and the Safety of his Fortune. After many Agitations of Mind,

he reflected, That Neceffity was the ufual Snare which made Men fall into Meannefs, and that a Liberal Fortune generally made a liberal and honest Mind; he resolved therefore to fave him from his Ruin, by giving him Opportunities of tafting what it is to be at Eafe, and enclofed to him the following Order upon Sir Triftram Cafb.

SIR,

Pray pay to Mr. Tho. Wildair, or Order, the Sum of One Thcufand Pounds, and place it to the Account of

Yours, Humphry Wildair.

Tom was fo aftonished at the Receipt of this Order, that though he knew it to be his Father's Hand, and that he had always large Sums at Sir Triftram's; yet a Thousand Pounds was a Trust of which his Conduct had always made him appear fo little capable, that he kept his Note by him, till he writ to his Father the following Letter:

I

Honoured Father,

HAVE received an Order under your Hand for a Thousand Pounds, in Words at Length, and I think I could fear it is your own Hand. I have looked it over and over Twenty Thousand Times. There is in plain Letters, T,H,O,U,S,A,N,D; and after it, the Letters P,O,U,N,D,S. I have it fill by me, and shall, I believe, continue reading it till I hear from you.

THE old Gentleman took no Manner of Notice of the Receipt of his Letter; but fent him another Order for Three Thoufand Pounds more. His Amazement on this fecond Letter was unspeakable. He immediately double lock'd his Door, and fat down carefully to reading and comparing both his Orders. After he had read

them till he was half mad, he walked Six or Seven Turns in his Chamber, then opens his Door, then locks it again; and to examine throughly this Matter, he locks his Door again, puts his Table and Chairs against it; then goes into his Clofet, and locking himself in," read his Notes over again about Nineteen Times, which did but increase his Aftonishment. Soon after, he began to recollect

D2

recollect many Stories he had formerly heard of Perfons who had been poffeffed with Imaginations and Appearances which had no Foundation in Nature, but had been taken with fudden Madness in the Midft of a seeming clear and untainted Reason. This made him very gravely conclude he was out of his Wits; and with a Defign to compofe himself, he immediately betakes him to his Night-Cap, with a Refolution to fleep himself into his former Poverty and Senfes. To Bed therefore he goes at Noon-Day, but foon rose again, and refolved to vifit. Sir Triftram upon this Occafion. He did fo, and dined with the Knight, expecting he would mention fome Advice from his Father about paying him Money; but no fuch Thing being faid, Look you, Sir Triftram (faid he) you are to know, that an Affair has happened, which-Look you, (fays Triftram) I know Mr. Wildair, you are going to defire me to advance; but the late Call of the Bank, where I have not yet made my last Payment, has obliged me -Tom interrupted him, by fhewing him the Bill of a Thousand Pounds. When he had looked at it for a convenient Time, and as often furveyed Tom's Looks and Countenance; Look you, Mr. Wildair, a Thousand Pounds -Before he could proceed, he fhews him the Order for Three Thousand more-Sir Triftram examined the Orders at the Light, and finding at the Writing the Name, there was a certain Stroke in one Letter, which the Father and he had agreed fhould be to fuch Directions as he defired might be more immediately honoured, he forthwith pays the Money. The Poffeffion of Four Thousand Pounds gave my young Gentleman a new Train of Thoughts: He began to reflect upon his Birth, the great Expectations he was born to, and the unfuitable Ways he had long purfued. Instead of that unthinking Creature he was before, he is now provident, generous, and difcreet. The Father and Son have an exact and regular Correfpondence, with mutual and unreferved Confidence in each other. The Son looks upon his Father as the beft Tenant he could have in the Country, and the Father finds the Son the most fafe Banker he could have in the City.

Will's Coffee-boufe, August 26,

THERE is not any Thing in Nature fo extravagant, but that you will find one Man or other that shall practise or maintain it; otherwise Harry Spondee could not have made so long an Harangue as he did here this Evening, concerning the Force and Efficacy of well-applied Nonsense. Among Ladies, he positively averr'd it was the most prevailing Part of Eloquence; and had fo little Complaifance as to fay, a Woman is never taken by her Reafon, but always by her Paffion. He proceeded to affert, the Way to move that, was only to aftonifh her. I know (continued he) a very late Inftance of this; for being by Accident in the Room next to Strephon, I could not help over hearing him as he made Love to a certain great Lady's Woman. The true Method in your Application to one of this fecond Rank of Understanding, is not to elevate and furprize, but rather to elevate and amaze. Strephon is a perfect Mafter in this Kind of Perfuafion: His Way is, to run over with a foft Air a Multitude of Words, without Meaning or Connexion, but fuch as do each of 'em apart give a pleafing Idea, though they have nothing to do with each other as he affembles 'em. After the common Phrafes of Salutation, and making his Entry into the Room, I perceived he had taken the fair Nymph's Hand, and kiffing it faid, Witness to my Happiness ye Groves! Be ftill ye Rivulets! Oh! Woods, Caves, Fountains, Trees, Dales, Mountains, Hills, and Streams! Oh! Faireft! could you love me? To which I overheard her Answer, with a very pretty Lifp. Oh! Strephon, You are a dangerous Creature: Why do you talk these tender Things to me? But you Men of Wit- -Is it then poffible, faid the enamour'd Strephon, that she regards my Sorrows! Oh! Pity, thou balmy Cure to an Heart o'erloaded. If Rapture, Solicitation, foft Defire, and pleafing Anxiety-But ftill I live in the most afflicting of all Circumstances, DoubtCannot my Charmer name the Place and Moment?

There all thofe Joys infatiably to prove,
D 3

With which rich Beaury feeds the Glutton, Love.

Forgive

my

Heart is

FORGIVE me, Madam, it is not that weary of its Chain, butThis incoherent Stuff was anfwered by a tender Sigh, Why do you put your Wit to a weak Woman? Strephon faw he had made fome Progrefs in her Heart, and pursued it, by faying that he would certainly wait upon her at fuch an Hour near Refamond's Pond; and then-The Sylvan Deities, and Rural Powers of the Place, facred and inviolable to Love; Love, The Mover of all noble Hearts, should hear his Vows repeated by the Streams and Echoes. The Affignation was accordingly made. This Style he calls the unintelligible Method of fpeaking his Mind; and I'll engage, had this Gallant fpoken plain English, he had never understood him half fo readily: For we may take it for granted, That he'll be efteemed as a very cold Lover, who difcovers to his Mistress that he is in his Senfes.

From my own Apartment, August 26.

THE following Letter came to my Hand with a Requeft to have the Subject recommended to our Readers, particularly the fmart Fellows, who are defired to repair to Major Touch hole, who can help them to Firelocks that are only fit for Exercise.

M

Just ready for the Prefs.

ARS Triumphant, or, London's Glory: Being the whole Art of Encampment, with the Method of embattelling Armies, marching them off, pofting the Officers, forming hollow Squares, and the various Ways of paying the Salute with the Halfpike; as it was performed by the Train'd-Bands of London this Year, One Thousand seven Hundred and Nine, in that Nurfery of Bellona the Artillery Ground. • Wherein you have a new Method how to form a ftrong Line of Foot, with large Intervals between each Platon, very useful to prevent the Breaking in of Horse. A Civil Way of performing the Military Ceremony; wherein the Major alights from his Horfe, and at the Head of his Company falutes the Lieutenant Colo

• nel;