hor that damnable Doctrine and Pofition of the Neceffity of a Bumper, though to one's own Toaft; for though 'tis pretended that thefe deep Politicians are ufed only to infpire Gafety, they certainly drown that Chearfulness which would furvive a moderate Circulation. If · at these Meetings it were left to every Stranger either to

fill his Glafs according to his own Inclination, or to • make his Retreat when he finds he has been fufficiently • obedient to that of others, these Entertainments would be governed with more good Senfe, and confequently with more good Breeding, than at prefent they are. Indeed where any of the Guests are known to measure their Fame or Pleafure by their Glafs, proper Exhortations might be ufed to thefe to pufh their Fortunes in this fort of Reputation; but where 'tis unfeafonably infifted on to a modeft Stranger, this Drench may be faid to be fwallowed with the fame Neceffity, as if it had ⚫ been tendered in the Horn for that purpofe, with this aggravating Circumftance, that it diftreffes the Entertainer's Gueft in the fame degree as it relieves his Horfes. T

TO attend without Impatience an Account of fivebarr'd Gates, double Ditches and Precipices, and to furvey the Orator with defiring Eyes, is to me extremely difficult, but abfolutely neceflary, to be upon tolerable • Terms with him: But then the occafional Burftings out into Laughter, is of all other Accomplishments the most that command of thefe Convulfions, as is neceffary to be good Company; therefore I beg you would publifh this Lerter, and let me be known all at once for a queer Fellow, and avoided? It is monftrous to me, that we, who are given to Reading and calm Converfation, should ever be vifited by these Roarers: But they think they' themfelves, as Neighbours, may come into our Rooms with the fame Right, that they and their Dogs hunt in our Grounds. A skornaqqala ns a

requifite. I confess at prèsent I have be good

J

YOUR Institution of Clubs T have always admir'd, 14 in which you constantly endeavoured the Union of the metaphorically Defunct, that is, fuch as are neither fervicéable to the Bufy and Enterprizing part of Mankind,

nor entertaining to the Retir'd and Speculative. There fhould certainly therefore in each County be established < a Club of the Perfons whofe Converfations I have de• fcribed, who for their own private, as alfo, the publick Emolument, should éxclude, and be excluded all other Society. Their Attire fhould be the fame with their Huntsmens, and none fhould be admitted into this green Converfation-Piece, except he had broke his Col-' Iar-bone thrice. A broken Rib, or two might alfo admit a Man without the leaft Oppofition. The Prefi dent must neceffarily have broken his Neck, and have been taken up dead once or twice: For the more Maims this Brotherhood' fhall have met with, the easier will their Converfation flow and keep up; and when any one of thefe vigorous Invalids had finished his Narration of the Collar-bone, this naturally would introduce the History of the Ribs. Befides, the different Circumftances of their Falls and Fractures would help to prolong and diverfify their Relations. There fhould alfo be another Club of fuch Men, who have not fucceeded fo well in maiming themfelves, but are, however in the conftant Purfuit of thefe Accomplishments. I would by no means be fufpected by what I have faid to traduce in general the Body of Fox-hunters; for whilft I look upon a reafonable Creature full-fpeed after a Pack of Dogs, by way of Pleafure, and not of Bufiness, I fhall always make honourable mention of it,

t

BUT the moft irkfome Converfation of all others, I have met with in the Neighbourhood, has been among two or three of your Travellers, who have overlooked Men and Manners, and have paffed thro France and Italy with the fame Obfervation that the Carriers and Stage-Coachmen do through Great-Britain; that is, their Stops and Stages have been regulated according to the Liquor they have met with in their Baffage. They indeed remember the Names of abundance of Places; with the particular Fineries of certain Churches: But their diftinguifhing Mark is certain Prettineffes of Foreign Languages, the meaning of which they could have better exprefs'd in their own. The Entertainment of thefe fine Obfervers, Shakespear has defcribed to confift

In talking of the Alps and Appennines,

• The Pyrenean, and the River Po.

And then concludes with a Sigh,

Now this is worshitful Society.

my

I WOULD not be thought in all this to hate fuch honeft Creatures as Dogs; I am only unhappy that I cannot partake in their Diverfions. But I love them fo well, as Dogs, that I often go with my Pockets ftuf, fed with Bread to difpenfe my Favours, or make way through them at Neighbours Houfes. There is in particular a young Hound of great Expectation, Vivacity, and Enterprize, that attends my Flights where-ever he fpies me. This Creature obferves my Countenance, and behaves himfelf accordingly. His Mirth, his Fro lick, and Joy upon the fight of me has been obferved, and I have been gravely defired not to encourage him fo much, for it poils his Parts; but I think he fhews them fufficiently in the feveral Boundings, Friskings, and Scourings, when he makes his Court to me: But I foresee in a little time he and I muft keep Company with one another only, for we are fit for no other in thefe Parts. Having inform'd you how 1 do pafs my ⚫ time in the Country where I am, I must proceed to tell you how I would pafs it, had I fuch a Fortune as would pur me above the Obfervance of Ceremony and Custom.

6

MY Scheme of a Country Life then fhould be as follows. As I am happy in three or four very agreeable • Friends, these I would conftantly have with me; and the Freedom we took with one another at School and the University, we would maintain and exert upon all Occafions with great Courage. There fhould be certain Hours of the Day to be employ'd in Reading, du-, ↑ ring which time it fhould be impoffible for any one of us to enter the other's Chamber, unless by Storm. Aftet this we would communicate the Trafh or Treasure we had met with, with our own Reflections upon the • Matter; the Juftness of which we would controvert with

good

good-humour'd Warmth, and never fpare one another out of that complaifant Spirit of Converfation, which makes others affirm and deny the fame matter in a quarter o r of an Hour. If any of the neighbouring Gentlemen, not of our Turn, fhould take it in their heads to vifit me, I fhould look upon thefe Perfons in the fame degree Enemies to my particular fate of Happinefs, as ever the French were to that of the Publick, and I would be at an annual Expence in Spies to obferve their Motions. Whenever I fhould be furprized with a < Vifit, as I hate Drinking, I would be brisk in fwilling Bumpers, upon this Maxim, That it is better to trouble others with my Impertinence, than to be troubled my felf with theirs. The Neceffity of an Infirmary makes me refolve to fall into that Project; and as we fhould be but Five, the Terrors of an involuntary Separation, which our Number cannot fo well admit of, would make us exert our felves, in oppofition to all the particulas mentioned in your Inftiturion of that equitable Confinement. This my way of Life I know would fubje& me to the Imputation of a morofe, covetous and fingu lar Fellow. Thefe and all other hard Words, with all ⚫ manner of infipid Jefts, and all other Reproach, would be matter of Mirth to me and my Friends: Befides, I would deftroy the Application of the Epithets Morofe and Covetous, by a yearly Relief of my undefervedly neceffitous Neighbours, and by treating my Friends and Domefticks with an Humanity that fhould exprefs the Obligation to lie rather on my fide; and as for the word Singular, I was always of opinion every Man must be fo, to be what one would desire him.

Mr. SPECTATOR

BOUT two Years ago I was called Α AB upon by the younger part of a Country Family, by my Mother's fide related to me, to vifit Mr. Campbell, the 'dumb Man; for they told me that that was chiefly what brought them to Town, having heard Wonders of him

B. 3

<in

с

in Effex. I, who always wanted Faith in Matters of that kind, was not eafily prevailed on to go; but left they fhould take it ill, I went with them; when, to my furprize, Mr. Campbell related all their pat Life, (in Thort, had he not been prevented, fuch a Difcovery, would have come out, would have ruined the next defign of their coming to Town, viz, buying WeddingClothes.) Our Names though he never heard of us before- and we endeavoured to conceal were as familiar to him, as to our felves. To be fure, Mr. CL SPECTATOR, he is a very learned and wife Man. Being impatient to know my Fortune, having paid my refpects in a Family-Jacobus, he told me (after his manner) among feveral other nine Months I fhould fall ill of a new Fever, be given over by my Phyficians, but fhould with much difficulty, recover: That the first time I took the Air afterwards, I fhould be addrefs'd to by a young Gentleman of a plentiful Fortune, good Senfe, and a generous Spirit. M.SPECTATOR, he

HS, that in a Year and

for all he faid is the reft Man in the World,

pals, and I am the happieft, fhe in Kent, I have been, in queft of Mr. Campbell these three Months, and cannot find him out. Now hearing you are a dumb Man too, I thought you fight, correfpond, and be able to tell me fomething; for I think my felf highly oblig'd to make his Fortune, as he has mine. "Tis very poffible your Worship, who has Spies all over this Town, can inform me how to fend to him. If you can, I beseech you be as fpeedy as, poffible, and you will highly oblige

Your. conftant Reader and Admirer,
Dalcibella Thankley.

ORDERED, That the Inspector I employ about Wonders, enquire at the Golden-Lion, oppofite to the Half-Moon Tavern in Drury-Lane, into the Merit, of this filent Sage, and report accordingly a report accordinglyne Mer