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Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours: Vio. Et vous aussi: votre serviteur.
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. Sir And. I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours. Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his
Sir To. Will you encounter the house? my niece thoughts, is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her. 'Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir: I mean, she me! is the list of my voyage.
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts Sir To. Taste your legs, sir: put them to motion. On his behalf.Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than Oli.
O! by your leave, I pray you : I understand what you mean by bidding me taste I bade you never speak again of him; my legs.
But, would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that,
Vio. Dear lady,
Oli. Give me leave, 'beseech you. I did send, Enter Olivia, and Maria.
After the last enchantment you did here, Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain A ring in chase of you : so did I abuse odours on you!
Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you. Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier. “Rain Under your hard construction must I sit, odours !" well.
To force that on you, in a shameful cunning, Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your Which you knew none of yours : what might you own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
think? Sir And. “ Odours," "pregnant,” and “vouch Have you not set mine honour at the stake, safed :”—I'll get 'em all three all ready.
And baited it with all th' unmuzzled thoughts Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your to my hearing
receiving (Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and Maria. Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom, Give me your hand, sir.
Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak. Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service.
Vio. I pity you. Oli. What is your name?
Oli. That's a degree to love. Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess. Vio. No, not a grise ; for ’tis a vulgar proof, Oli. My servant, sir ? 'Twas never merry world, That very oft we pity enemies. Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment.
Oli. Why then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again. You're servant to the count Orsino, youth.
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud !
If one should be a prey, how much the better her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new from To fall before the lion, than the wolf ?
the mint, you should have banged the youth into
[Clock strikes. dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and The clock upbraids me with the waste of time. this was baulked: the double gilt of this opportunity Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you ; you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, the north of my lady's opinion; where you will Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless There lies your way, due west.
you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either Vio.
Then westward ho! of valour, or policy. Grace and good disposition 'tend your ladyship. Sir And. An't be any way, it must be with valour, You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me? for policy I hate : I had as lief be a Brownist as a Oli. Stay:
politician. I pr’ythee, tell me, what thou think'st of me.
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon Vio. That you do think you are not what you the basis of valour: challenge me the count's youth
to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places: my Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you. niece shall take note of it; and assure thyself, there Vio. Then think you right: I am not what I is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in
man's commendation with woman, than report of Oli. I would, you were as I would have you valour. be!
Fab. There is no way but this, sir Andrew. Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am ? Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge I wish it might ; for now I am your fool.
to him? Oli. O! what a deal of scorn looks beautiful Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst In the contempt and anger of his lip!
and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloA murderous guilt shows not itself more soon quent, and full of invention : taunt him with the Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon. licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
en gh for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide.
down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
thy ink; though thou write with a goose-pen, do For, that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause; matter. About it. But rather, reason thus with reason fetter:
Sir And. Where shall I find you? Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo. Go. Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
[Erit Sir ANDREW. I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, sir Toby. And that no woman has ; nor never none
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
thousand strong, or so. And so adieu, good madam: never more
Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him ; but Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
you'll not deliver it. Oli. Yet come again; for thou, perhaps, may'st Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means
stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxed and That heart, which now abhors, to like his love. wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew,
[Exeunt. if he were opened, and you find so much blood in
his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the SCENE II.- A Room in Olivia's House. rest of the anatomy.
Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK,
visage no great presage of cruelty. and Fabian.
Enter Maria. Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom: give thy rea Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine
Fab. You must needs yield your reason, sir Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh Andrew.
yourselves into stitches, follow me. Yond' gull Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more fa Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for vours to the count's serving man, than ever she there is no Christian, that means to be saved by bestowed upon me: I saw't i’ the orchard.
believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy ? tell passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings. me that.
Sir To. And cross-gartered ? Sir And. As plain as I see you now.
Mar. Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps Fab. This was a great argument of love in her a school i' the church. I have dogged him like his toward you.
murderer. He does obey every point of the letter Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths face into more lines, than are in the new map, of judgment and reason.
with the augmentation of the Indies. You have Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly forbear since before Noah was a sailor.
hurling things at him. I know, my lady will strike Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your him: if she do, he'll smile, and take't for a great sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dor favour. mouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brim Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is. stone in your liver. You should then have accosted
SCENE III.-A Street.
Ant. I could not stay behind you: my desire,
My kind Antonio,
Would, you'd pardon me :
I did some service; of such note, indeed,
SCENE IV.-Olivia's Garden. That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd.
Enter Olivia, and Maria. Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his peo Oli. I have sent after him: he says, he'll come. ple.
How shall I feast him ? what bestow of him? Ant. The offence is not of such a bloody na For youth is bought more oft, than begg'd, or ture,
borrow'd. Albeit the quality of the time, and quarrel,
I speak too loud. Might well have given us bloody argument.
Where is Malvolio?—he is sad, and civil, It might have since been answer'd in repaying And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.What we took from them; which, for traffic's Where is Malvolio ? sake,
Mar. He's coming, madam; but in very strange Most of our city did : only myself stood out;
He is sure possessid, madam. For which, if I be lapsed in this place,
Oli. Why, what's the matter? does he rave? I sball pay dear.
Mar. No, madam; he does nothing but smile: Seb.
Do not, then, walk too open. your ladyship were best to have some guard about Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir; here's my you, if he come, for sure the man is tainted in's wits. purse.
Oli. Go call him hither.-I am as mad as he, In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
If sad and merry madness equal be. Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,
Enter MALVOLIO. Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowledge,
How now, Malvolio? With viewing of the town: there shall you have Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. (Smiles ridiculously.
Oli. Smil'st thou ? Seb. Why I your purse ?
I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. Ant. Haply your eye shall light upon some toy Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad. This does You have desire to purchase; and your store,
make some obstruction in the blood, this crossI think, is not for idle markets, sir.
gartering; but what of that ? if it please the eye of Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is, “Please an hour.
one, and please all.” Ant. To the Elephant.
Oli. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the Seb. I do remember.
[Ereunt. matter with thee?
Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed : I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.
Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
Mal. To bed ? ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.
Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft ?
Mar. How do you, Malvolio?
Mal. At your request! Yes; nightingales answer daws.
Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?
Mal. “Be not afraid of greatness :"_'Twas well writ.
Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio ?
Mal. “And some have greatness thrust upon them."
Oli. Heaven restore thee!
Mal. “Remember, who commended thy yellow stockings ;"
Oli. Thy yellow stockings ?
Mal. “Go to: thou art made, if thou desirest to be so :"
Oli. Am I made ?
Oli. I'll come to him.—[Erit Servant.]-Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him. I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.
[Exeunt Olivia and Maria. Mal. Oh, ho!. do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.
" Cast thy humble slough," says she ;—“be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,-let thy tongue tang with arguments of state,-put thyself into the trick of singularity;"—and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away now, “Let this fellow be looked to:” fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no drachm of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance- What can be said ? Nothing that can be can come between me, and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not 1, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and
Fabjan. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little,
and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.
Fab. Here he is, here he is.—How is't with you, sir ? how is't with you, man?
Mal. Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private : go off.
Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks withio him! did not I tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.
Mal. Ah, ha! does she so!
Sir To. Go to, go to: peace! peace! we must deal gently with him; let me alone.—How do you, Malvolio ? how is’t with you? What, man! defy the devil : consider, he's an enemy to mankind.
Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. La you! an you speak ill of the devil, bow he takes it at heart. Pray God, he be not bewitched!
Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman.
Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-mortos morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.
Mal. How now, mistress?
Sir To. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace: this is not the way. Do you not see you move him? let me alone with him.
Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used.
Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock? how dost thou, chuck ?
Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man' 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!
Mar. Get him to say his prayers: good sir Toby, get him to pray.
Mal. My prayers, minx !
Mar. No, I warrant you; he will not hear of godliness.
Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element. You shall know more hereafter.
[Erit Sir To. Is't possible ?
Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
Mar. Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air, and taint.
Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad: we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see.
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge; read it: I warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Is't so saucy?
Sir To. Give me.—[Reads.]—“Youth; whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow."
Fab. Good, and valiant.
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't."
Fab. A good note, that keeps you from the blow, impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that of the law.
they will kill one another by the look, like cockaSir To. “Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in trices. my sight she uses thee kindly : but thou liest in thy Fab. Here he comes with your niece. Give them throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.” way, till he take leave, and presently after him.
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some
Sir To. "I will way-lay thee going home; where, horrid message for a challenge. if it be thy chance to kill me,”
(Exeunt Sir Toby, FABIAN, and Maria. Fab. Good. Sir To. “Thou killest me like a rogue and a
Re-enter Olivia, with V10LA. villain."
Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone. Fab. Still you keep o’ the windy side of the law: And laid mine honour too unchary on't. good.
There's something in me that reproves my fault, Sir To. “Fare thee well; and God have mercy But such a headstrong potent fault it is, upon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon That it but mocks reproof. mine ; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn bears, enemy, ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.” If this letter Go on my master's griefs. move him not, his legs cannot. I'll give't him. Oli. Here; wear this jewel for me: 'tis my
Mar. You may have very fit occasion fort: he picture. is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you; and by depart.
And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny, corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailie. So soon That, honour sav'd, may upon asking give ? as ever thou seest him, draw, and, as thou drawest, Vic. Nothing but this; your true love for my swear horrible ; for it comes to pass oft, that a
master. terrible oath, with a swaggering accent, sharply Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that, twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than Which I have given to you? ever proof itself would have earned him. Away!
I will acquit you. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. (Exit. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow. Fare thee Sir To. Now, will not I deliver his letter; for
well : the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. to be of good capacity and breeding: his employment
[Eril. between his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant,
Re-enter Sir Toby BELCH, and FABIAN. will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee. comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his Vio. And you, sir. challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: a notable report of valour, and drive the gentleman, of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him. (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and Il bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard