VOL. 4.] Sketches of English Society. THE HERMIT IN LONDON, OR SKETCHES OF ENGLISH MANNERS. From the Literary Gazette, August 1818. THER No. III. THE BLUNDERER. HERE cannot be a better man than Sir Michael Marall. No one more obliging; nothing is kinder than his heart; yet no one on earth commits more unlucky mistakes in company. From these, he is reckoned a mere scatter-brain, a marplot, a quiz, and is often avoided. From these, he has got himself into very serious scrapes, and has lost his very best friends. Finally, from these unwilling errors, he, who of all men in the world, wishes most to please and to do good, scarcely ever opens his mouth without committing a blunder, without giving offence. Sir Michael is now fifty years of age; yet is he as thoughtless as when first I knew him, which is thirty years ago. As a proof of the confusion of his brain, he forgets daily to wind up his watch, sets it wrong afterwards, and is never in time any where. In his commonest concerns he is always under some misapprehension, some mistake; and, in his conversation, he is sure to say or to do something out of time or out of place. If he meet a widower, he will invariably inquire after his wife. If he meet a lady who is divorced, he will (forgetting the circumstance) beg his respects to her husband. He not unfrequently asks unmarried ladies after their children; and people at variance, after their friend so and so. The who many do not know and pity this absence, or rather this confusion of his, consider that he intends to hoax them, or to insult them. The few who are acquainted with his infirmity, fear to ask him to their houses, lest he say or do something offensive to their company. 51 recollected that he had lent them to a friend. Upon another occasion, he kept dinner waiting two hours at a friend's house, and, upon flying into a passion at his coachman's neglect, he was informed that he had sent his carriage to bring home his little nephews from school. He lost an aunt's favour by outbidding her in a sale of china, which he did, thinking that she had an interest in keeping up the price of the article ; and a rich cousin scratched him out of her will for speaking against Methodism, he having entirely forgot her religious persuasion. But of all the unfortunate days of blunders that ever occurred, that was the chief on which I met him at dinner at Le Marchioness's. Being in general two hours too late, and resolving to make amends for his usual failures, and never having dined at the Marquis's before, he arrived two hours before he was expected. The score of servants in the hall stared at him on his arrival, and then looked at each other-as much as to say, "Is he mad? what a queer ge nius this Sir Michael must be !" but the groom of the chambers, with his accustomed officious grin and low bow, said, mechanically, "My Lord will be down in ten minutes," and then placed his chair, bowed, and handed him a newspaper. He had time to spell every word of it. After which he took up a novel and went through it. At length a powdered servant opened the folding-doors, and in walked the Marchioness. Sir Michael had never seen her before; but he was acquainted with her sister, Lady Barbara, to whom the resemblance was striking. He rose up, and made his best bow; whilst the Marchioness smiled on him with her Cheered I remember one day when he made usual dignity and mildness. an appointment with me to ride togeth- by this into self-confidence, he thus beer to see a cottage on the banks of the gan: I need not (bowing a second Thames we waited a considerable time) ask your Ladyship to whom I time; at last he rung the bell, and asked have the honour of speaking, seeing so why the groom did not bring his horses strong a resemblance betwixt your to the door? when, all of a sudden, he daughter and yourself." "Daughter; 52 The Hermit in London, No. 3. {VOL. 4 Sir, I have none; you must mistake." than Sir Michael Marall,”-(the Knight Probably-Madam-I may; I ask in an agony) Pardon me, my Lady; your ladyship's pardon.' my honour At this moment, her eldest sister, (The Marquis entered) "My dear Lady Barbara,entered the room. That, Baronet, how are you? Why you are that lady, Madam, is the person I come in time to-day. (Turning to the meant; I took her for your ladyship's Marchioness) This is my very oldest daughter. Lady Barbara, your most friend." Her ladyship gave a contempobedient! delighted to see you look so tuous look, which said, Je vous en fais well: indeed the likeness'-(Marchion- mon compliment. ess)" is that of a younger to an elder The company now began to arrive sister my sister Barbara is three years briskly; carriages chased carriages down older than myself (drily); but, (with a the street; and the thunder of the street smile of contempt) there is certainly a door was like a feu de joie. The Marstrong family likeness." Oh! yes, quis now drew his friend aside, and beautiful! vastly like indeed! a strong said, " Michael, I am heartily glad to -very strong family likeness, particu- see you here. It is now three years larly about the eyes' (Lady Barbara since I met you at Newmarket, I have squints dreadfully.) Here ensued a been to Naples and to Vienna since, loud laugh of the two ladies. (Mar- and have got married. I am sorry that chioness) "Do you think so, Sir Mi- I had not an earlier opportunity of inchael?" (Sir Michael perceiving the troducing you to the Marchioness; but obliquity of the sister's eye) No, my you will find her at all times happy to lady, not at all, not a bit!" see you."-Sir Michael. No doubt; (Marchioness) "I am quite mortified I read it in her countenance. A very to think how long you have been kept sweet woman! a most interesting perwaiting. My Lord is not yet come son! and I perceive that she is as wofrom the House; and I am much later men wish to be who love their lords : than usual myself, having been detained ha, ha, ha! yes, pretty far gone; there's no at Philips and Robins's." I under- fear of the title's being extinct; no, no; stand your Ladyship; yes, the two but all in good time.' Marquis.-"Sir money lending attorneys; I know them Michael, I hope that her ladyship's well; hard dogs.' "Not at all, Sir Mi- change of shape will not be so sudden chael, I mean the auctioneers." "Yes, yes, as you expect; else must ill health be (all confusion) the auctioneers I mean.' the cause. She is, I confess, rather (Marchioness) "I see that you have corpulent, but is not so in the way taken up that scurrilous novel, what which you imagine." Here he turned think you of it?" Beautiful! full of from him and left him overwhelmed wit! how it cuts up the gouty alderman with shame-they had been married pocketing the poor's rates! and the fat only three months. gambling Marchioness' (the latter was Now entered Colonel O'Fagan, who, herself). (Lady Barbara, wishing to after making his obeisance all round, relieve him)" Hem! did you look at attacked the Baronet. “Sir Michael, those trifles in verse? They are very you played me a prettty trick to-day; trifles, but written merely at leisure you promised to bring me here in your hours, mere bagatelles composed on the carriage, knowing as you do that one spur of the occasion. What think you of my horses is lame; and here you of them?" Trifles, trifles indeed, mere are before me, after keeping me waiting bagatelles, as your ladyship justly ob- an hour and a half." My dear Coloserves; quite below par; childish, very nel, I ask ten thousand pardons; but it childish indeed; a catchpenay no doubt.' is my coachman's fault; he never put Lady Barbara-" Childish,as you say; me in mind of it as I bid him, for my very much below par; but no catch- memory is most treacherous; 'tis enpenny, Sir; they are my composition, tirely his fault; but he is an Irishman, and were never sold, but printed for a and one must pardon his bulls and his few friends more indulgent and partial blunders sometimes; they belong to •VOL. 4.] Sketches of Society-The Hermit in London. 53 his country, and he cannot help them.' exclaimed he, fixing his eyes at the The Colonel, angrily-" Sir Michael, same time on their father, who is remaryou are very polite; but here stands an kably plain. What lovely creatures!' Irishman before you who never made repeated he, laying much emphasis on a bull in his life, nor disappointed his the word lovely. 'Are all these chilfriend." The Baronet was struck dren yours?' poor So her Ladyship says," dumb, and sat silent until dinner was replied the husband; and there was announced. nothing but blushes, smiles, surprise, and confusion round the table. 66 How do Defeat and diffidence took such possession of him at table, that be scarcely His last blunder was respecting Waldared to open his mouth. At last, the ter Scott. Being asked by a lady what Marquis, seeing his consternation, en- he thought of that excellent poet, whom deavoured to draw him out, by saying, he had seen in his tour through Seot"Sir Michael, did you observe the sale land, he replied, "Charming,charming; of our old school-fellow's estate? it but 'tis pity he is so lame." fetched eighty thousand pounds! should you mean?' said Mrs. Freethink, a blueyou have thought it worth so much?" stocking lady. Is it his poetry (conBy no means, my dear Lord; and I tinued she) or his person, to which you was as much surprised to see the crim, allude?' His person"-(here he recon. business of Lady-(he was stop- collected the lameness of the Marquis's ped by a look of the Marquis's)-I brother! so, trying to recover himself, mean the death of old Lady (another he recalled his words) "not in his perfrown) the marriage of Captain Brace- son, Madam, but in his poetry"-(retight to a mechanic's daughter.' The flecting on the beauty of his lines, and crim. con. lady, whose publicity had the public opinion, he recovered himself been revived after lying dormant twelve again by) "I--I-mean in both-in months, sat opposite to him; the old neither-upon my soul, I beg your lady's daughter, in deep mourning was pardon-I do not know what I mean." on his right hand; and Captain Brace- Here a general laugh could no longer tight's brother was near the foot of the be controlled, and he was laughed at by table. all present. He retired early; took French leave; went home; passed a sleepless night; and never returned to Doricourt House. The Marchioness has given orders to her German porter to say to the Baronet always," Madame n'est pas visible;" and the whole family has dropped him. "Each looked on other, none the silence broke." Sir Michael blushed and stammered, coughed, called for water, and hesitated. His next neighbour on the left addressed him; and he stuttered so in reply, that the other, who had an impediment in his speech, almost suspected that he was turning him into ridicule. The poor Baronet will at last be At the dessert, four beautiful children obliged to live the life of a recluse, as were ushered in, walking by files in he will not be able to keep an acquainrather a stage-effect way. They were tance in the town; or perhaps he may the Marquis's nephews and nieces. His end by some very serious consequences brother and sister were at table, and the attending these habitual mistakes; for children had been sent for as a recrea- these unmeant insults are never forgivtion to them. Every one was eager en, and, so weak are we, that many to praise them, to extol their beauty, to who can generously pass over and forget enumerate their good qualities, &c. Sir an injury, can never pardon the being Michael, after priming himself with a degraded, or rendered ridiculous, wheglass of hermitage, "to bear his courage ther intentionally or unintentionally--up," thought that he would be compli- in joke or in earnest. mentary too: 'What lovely children!' THE HERMIT IN LONDON 54 Ο Anecdotes of Dr. Goldsmith. [vor.. 4 ORIGINAL ANECDOTES OF DR. GOLDSMITH. From the Gentleman's Magazine, July 1818. LIVER GOLDSMITH was born was then of reserved and distant habits, at Pallice, on the Southern banks fond of solitary walks, spending most of the river Inny, in the adjoining parish of his time among the rocks, and woodof Cloncalla. As he was educated at the ed islands of the river Inny, which is school of the Rev. Mr. Hughes, in Bal- remarkably beautiful at Ballymahon. lymahon, and passed his earlier years in The writer of this account purchased that town with his mother; the follow- some books, a few years ago, at an aucing brief Memoirs of him may be given, tion in Ballymahon, and among them with propriety, in this Survey.* an account-book, kept by a Mrs. Ed The family of Goldsmith has been wards, and a Miss Sarah Shore, who long settled in Ireland. One of them, lived in the house next to Mrs. GoldDr. Isaac Goldsmith, was Dean of Cork smith. In this village record, were sevabout the year 1730; but they seem to eral shop accounts kept with Mr. Goldhave resided chiefly in the province of smith, from the year 1740 to 1756. Connaught. For many generations, Some of the entries in the earliest of they have regularly furnished a Minister these accounts run thus :-Tea by masfor the Established Church, being what ter Noll-Cash by ditto-from which is termed a "Clerical family." it appears that the Poet was then his Jan 16, Half an ounce of green Tea Dr. 158.6. 3 8 2 The father of the Poet was the Rev. Charles Goldsmith, who married Anne, daughter of the Rev. Oliver Jones, Diocesan schoolmaster of Elphin, in the county of Roscommon. By the residence of Charles Goldsmith at Pallice, on the 29th of Nov. 1728, when his son Oliver was born there, it is probable he was curate of the chapel of Ease in in the parish of Clancalla or Forgeny. He was afterwards promoted to a benefice in the county of Roscommon, but Goldsmith was always plain in his died early; for we find his widow re- appearance; but when a boy, and imsiding, with her son Oliver, in Bally- mediately after suffering heavily from mahon, in the year 1740-so the Poet the small pox, he was particularly ugly. When he was about seven years old, a was an orphan at the of twelve years. The house in which they lodg- fiddler, who reckoned himself a wit, ed is still standing; it is situated on the happened to be playing to some compaentrance to Ballymation from the ny in Mrs. Goldsmith's house. During Edgeworth-town road, on the left-hand a pause between two sets of contra side. Here Mrs. Goldsmith lived in dances, little Oliver surprised the party, narrow circumstances, and indifferent by jumping up suddenly, and dancing Struck with the grohealth, nigra veste senescens, till the round the room. year 1772 or 1773, having been for tesque appearance of the ill-favoured some time before her death nearly blind, child, the fiddler exclaimed “ Æsop," A lady who died in this neighbourhood and the company burst into laughter ; about two years ago was well acquaint- when Oliver turned to them with a smile, ed with Mrs. Goldsmith,and stated that and repeated the following couplet: age it was one of Oliver's habits to sit in a window of his mother's lodgings, and amuse himself by playing the flute. He This valuable article is extracted from the Sta tistical Survey of Shruel, in the diocese of Ardagh, and county of Longford, now in the press, with Mr. Shaw Mason's third volume of the Parochial Account of Ireland." "Heralds, proclaim aloud, all saying, This anecdote is given on the authority of a direct descendant of the Rev. Henry Goldsmith, of Lissoy, Curate of Kilkenny, West, and the elder brother of our Poet. VOL. 4.] Original Anecdotes of Dr. Goldsmith. 55 Student, from which place he wrote a letter to his friend Robert Bryanton, of Ballymahon, Esq. published in a late edition of his Works.-The original of this letter was preserved by the late Mrs. M'Dermott, of that town. The edition in which this letter has been published is that of Otridge and Son, London, 1812. 1756-About the breaking out of the war in this year, Goldsmith returned from the Continent to England in great distress, having gone to travel, from Edinburgh, in 1754. This however did On the 11th of June, 1744, the following entry was made on the books of Trinity College, Dublin :-" Olivarius Goldsmith, Siz. filius Caroli Clerici, ann. agen. 15, natus in Comitatu Westmeath, educatus sub ferulà M. Hughes, admissus est, Tutor, M. Wilder." The error with respect to the county in which he was born arose from the vicinity of Pallice to the borders of Westmeathor, as stated by one of his biographers, from the circumstance of his having at that time lived in that county. The Tutor mentioned in this record was the Rev. Theaker Wilder, a younger son of 1757, December 27, he wrote a letthe family of Castlewilder, in the coun- ter to Daniel Hudson, Esq. of Lissoy, ty of Longford. He was remarkable near Ballymahon, who had married for the eccentricity of his character, from his niece. In this letter, he says, "he the severity of which our Poet suffered could wish from his heart, that Mr. heavily while under his tuition. Altho' and Mrs. Hudson, and Lissoy, and Goldsmith did not distinguish himself Ballymahon, and all his friends there, in the University, there can be no doubt would fairly make a migration to of his having been duly prepared for Middlesex"-adding, that, as on se entering it. Few boys of 15 have ever cond thoughts this might be attended been able to obtain a Sizer's place, which with inconvenience, "Mahomet should is a place of emolument, contended for go to the mountain," and he promised by many persons, and disposed of to the to spend six weeks with them in the best answerer, as the Scholarships are. ensuing summer. In Goldsmith's days, the Sizers of the not occur. University of Dublin are said to have been compelled to submit to many menial services; but these degrading offices have for many years back been committed to persons more fitted to execute them, than young men often tenderly brought up, liberally educated, and whose only disqualification In Otridge's edition of this author's is the want of money to pay entrance works, Lissoy is erroneously spelled fees, and the annual charge of a Tutor. Lishoy. It is very generally believed June 15, 1747, Goldsmith obtained in this neighbourhood, that it was his only laurel in the University of from Lisso that Goldsmith drew Dublin-an exhibition on the founda- more than the outlines of his enchanttion of Erasmus Smyth, Esq. These ing scenery of "The Deserted Village." His brother was the village preacher there, when he dedicated "The TraThe Clergyman's veller" to bim. mansion is still well known-the parish church of Kilkenny, West, tops the neighbouring hill--and near it may bo seen the Mill and the Lake. The Hawthorn tree still exists--though mutilated, "laniatum corpore toto," by the curious travellers, who cut pieces from it, as from the Royal Oak, or from the Mulberry tree of Stratford. upon-Avon. The village alehouse has exhibitions consists of a small sum of In the month of December, 1753, we find him in Edinburgh, a Medical Tho' like the hare whom hounds and horns pursue, |