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with a heavy heart, as I really loved him, tored. I must previously observe, that Paramythia ; or Mental Pastimes ; approved his plan, he resolved to exe- Kadu, from our accounts, had formed a cute it, and promised to raise our planta. very high idea of the tamon of Russia, of
being Original Anecdotes, Historitions with affection, and to call the differ. whom he told the Radackers a great deal.
cal, Descriptive, Humourous, and ent plants by our names. Future navi-" The great tamon of all tamons,” said
Wilty: collected chiefly during a gators will iherefore find, instead of he, “ of the land of Russia, has com- long residence at the Court of Russia, yams, taro, and potatoes,-timaros, tamis- manded that Kadu shall reinain here, to by the Author. 12mo. pp. 175. sos, and totabus. Every one on board the take care of the plants and animals left London, 1821. ship would know from his own mouth whe- here by the Russians. Nobody dare hin- That several of these anecdotes are ther he really intended to leave us; and der him on pain of death; on the contra original and that some of them are true, he told to each, individually, how his child ry, every inhabitant shall assist him to culcalled “ Kadu” in the woods, and could tivate the land, for which he is to be re
we will not dery ; but few, very few of not sleep in the night. The separation warded;" though the promised rewards
them indeed, are either descriptive, huwas very painful to me, and I could only were to arise from their labour itself. I mourous, or witty. The author, who console myself with the idea, that he also permitted myself the following fic appears to be an artist that has passed might be useful here, and would not, tion, in order to give more weight to the many years in Russia, gives 'a local perhaps, long survive in our cold cli- speech: “A large ship will come from habitation and a name' to alnıost every mate. As he intended to leave the ship Russia in ten months, to bring the Ra- fact he relates, and identifies himself to-day, because we sailed tomorrow, we dackers iron and other necessary articles; with them. He is anxious to convince all collected presents for him. He looked but if it finds that the plantations are de his readers that every anecdote is now at his treasures with mute astonishment, stroyed, the guilty persons will be and was only afraid that the Radackers ished with death!'Let nobody venture published for the first time, and yet we could not resist the temptation of robbing to rob Kadu, or to do him any injury;
meet with many old acquaintance him. I did not doubt that Lamary, as this crime will also be punished with among them. Who has not heard of soon as he heard of it, would not fail to death.” At the conclusion, I promised the Highlander, who, on seeing a pair take from him the greatest part, and to large rewards to such as should, on the of snutters for the first time, souffed avoid this, left some very considerablepre arrival of the ship from Russia, come on the candle with his fingers, and deposents for him also. The old chiefs of Or- board with their new cultivated fruits. sited the snuff in the socket; and yet med and Lagedack were not forgotten. Kadu delivered his speech with much dig. Jour author relates this as having occur. Some hogs and dogs, which I intrusted to nity ; the islanders promised faithfully to red to his own servant, a Russian boy! Kadu's care, were then put into the boat, fulil our wish, and, to make them acand I accompanied lion with Chamisso on quainted with my great power, I had
We should not have noticed even shore, he having previously taken an af- given oders on board, to fire, on a signal this stale joke (and it is not the only fectionate farewell on board the ship. La- being given, two guns, and to throw up a one), had not the author assumed so gediack received us on shore, gazed with rocket. It was now quite dark; I told high a tone as to the positive originalastonishment at the treasures, which were the islanders to look at the ship, in order ity of every anecdote. We have anspread out, and was enraptured at the pre- to see the fire with which we would punish other objection to this volume, less insents given to him. Kadu's riches I had their disobedience. The signal was given, durable even than its dullness and insibrought into Rarick`s habitation, where he thecannons thundered, and the poor savages pidity,—the silly plan of ushering in concealed them, and the islanders, who were delighted at the sight of them, were, caused still more alarm, 'which, hissing every “Scrap,' by a sort of mawkish perhaps, already forming plans in secret, through the air, illuminated the whole common-place sentimental introducfor appropriating them to themselves. To island. Lagediack threw both his arms tion, which frequently has nothing protect Kadu as much as possible against round me, and begged me to put an end whatever to do with the particular such an event, I intended to make an ex- to the terrific scene; but Kadu was much anecdote it prefaces. But a truce to hortation to all the savages. Lagediack pleased at the impression the fire had criticisin, and let the author speak for inmediately despatched two cryers, who made, for he now thought himself secure himself, 'which he shall do in a few of went about the island, and made known against any attacks. Some presents which the best anecdotes we can glean from his orders, that they should assemble. I distributed restored tranquillity. We Some drums were beát, and all the inha- gave Kadu two copper medals with the
bis volume:bitants of Otdia, men, women, and chil- portrait of the einperor; the one he was
• General was one of the parvedren, were soon assembled. They were to wear himself, and to present the other nus, lifted, by the French revolution, informed that Kadu intended to remain to Lainary, in my name. He resolved to from obscurity ; his father having held here, and that I was going to speak to them bury some of his treasures, and go with the situation of Swiss, or porter, to Louis on the subject. The people, full of ex- the rest to Ormed, to his old benefactor. the Sixteenth. When appointed, by Bopectation, formed a circle, in the middle On taking leave, Kadu seemed to be fully naparte, ambassador to the court of Rusof which stood Chamisso and myself. sensible how hard it was to part from us, sia, he was much in the habit of boasting, Kadu, in the mean time, dressed himself for he cried like a child, and implored me in society and at court, of bis estates and in Rarick's house, probably to make a to come again. The attachment of this possessions in Languedoc, Champagne, strong impression on the savages, on this good-hearted man moved me very much, &c. &c. ; upon which, a very witty and soleinn occasion.
After we had been but I was still more deeply affected with beautiful lady, the Countess Valerien waiting for some time, he at last came ou: the universal lamentations of the savages Zooboff, said to him, with great naiveté, of the house, with measured paces; he had at our departure. Lagediack kept close "Lunguedoc, Champagne! mon cher geput on a white shirt, a sabre buckled to me, and frequently asked me whether neral, et moi je vous croyois toujours round his waist, which he held naked in we would really return. Men, women, Suisse." his right hand, and his head covered with and children accompanied us to the boat; • In the reign of the Emperor Paul, his a straw hat. The Radackers were aston- Kadu went on before with a drawn sword; regulations and orders were promulgated nished when they saw him enter with a se. and the torches, with which they lighted with such rapidity, that it could only be rious countenance with his murderous the way, gave the whole procession a very equalled by the counter-orders that were weapon, and he sat down with much gravi. solemn appearance. After we had put otten within a few hours issued. It was, ty on the branch of a tree. The sun had off, they all sat on the shore, and joined indeed, impossible to know how to act, so already set, when Kadu made the fol- in a song, in which our names were fre- as to avoid offending, which gave rise to lowing apeech, in which he had been tu-l quently repeated.'
some one witlingly observing, it was all
“order," counter-order,” and “dis- more. The man, who always stood being, when most learned, most easily
hind the count, did not whisper, but said, understood. Mr. White's On birth days and other great occa- quite loud, il n'y en a plus. The count though one of the least, is one of the sions, it is usual for the foreign consuls to told him to go to his friend at the wine best, cheapest, and most perspicuously go to court. The consul went; and, cellar, and get more. Point d'argent, written works of the kind wbich we placing himself in one of the rooms, took point de Suisse, votre excellence. What his station as usual, waiting to be present then? said our noble host, wont he trust
have ever reviewed. ed when the empress passed by. The me any farther? Non, Monseigneur, was master of the ceremonies announcing, as the reply. Why, then, sit still, gentle. she walked on, the names of the noble- men, sit still, and we must be content
Foreign Literature. inen and gentlemen present, at last an- with a good glass of frozen punch till my Histoire des Français. nounced, the British Consul, Mr.rents conie in. Aha! pour le ponche si C-" The consul bowed, but unfor- tous voulez, j'ai les moyens, said the butler, History of the French. By T. C. L. tunately standing under a cut-glass chan- rubbing his hands with delight, and run
Simonde de Sismondi. 3 vols. 8vo. delier, and being somewhat fidgetty, as ning away to make it.'
pp. 1517. Paris and London, 1821. most of my countrymen are upon great • When the present emperor came to A HISTORY of France has long been a occasions, had got somehow or other the the throne, and people were allowed to desideratum in the literature of Eutoupee of his bag-wig entangled in the walk, ride, and dress rationally, and not wire of the drops; so that, when he bow. like the old-fashioned wax-figures of the rope; and yet there is scarcely any ed (and that he did very low), there was fifteenth century, her imperial majesty subject which affords such ample maat least two feet between his bald pate enjoyed, in common with others, this na
terials. France has long been reand the suspended perriwig, and he could tional reformation. She was walking in proached for a want of historical not, on rising, get his head into dock the summer-gardens, dressed with taste-tulent; that reproach can attach to her again. The smothered laugh was against ful simplicity, and being really a beauti- no longer, since she has produced one him, and it required all his good sense sul well-formed interesting person, was of the most able historians of this or and good nature, when he got home, to noticed by an officer in the guards, who, make so unlucky a day as pleasant, as he having only seen her at court in a hoop: This gentleinan is well known in the
any age in the person of Sismondi. did most others, to his amiable family.'
A very hospitable and very rich Eng-brous paraphernalia, did not know her. literary world, by his history of the Italish merchant, in the city of St. Peters. He was much struck with her, accosted lian Republics, a History of the Liteburg, who was much in the habit of re. her, and went a step too far in his beha- rature of the South of Europe, &c.; ceiving the young noblemen and gentle viour and importunities. The empress and his well-earned fame will now be men who visited that city, had at his table was obliged to call a court servant to as rapidly enhanced by his history of the one day an English traveller of rank, who sist her escape from this enterprising French. In a very able Introduction, had that morning been to see the collec- knight, and, when she got to the palace, he thus states his views of history genetion of wild beasts. On expressing his mentioned the circumstance to the einsurprise that a large elephant he saw there peror. He soon discovered the offender, rally, and the cause why: the French should be able to endure the severe frost but contented himself with saying, next have been defective in this branch of of so cold a climate, the inerchant (to set morning, on the parade, that some officer literature:him right on the subject) told him, that in his guards had greatly insulted a lady • We may, I think (he says), state geher imperial majesty had often said she who was dear to bim in the summer-gar- nerally, that the great cause of the coldwould never again receive elephants as dens: that when he relaxed the strict ness of the history of France, and of alpresents, as they were the most expensive sumptuary laws which lately, existed, he most all modern histories, is the want of appendages of her establishment. Each meant his subjects should enjoy a ration- truth; of that complete, unreserved, unelephant, said he, eats a pond, or about al liberty; but he was sorry to find it had biassed truth, which is found only in the forty pounds weight of nutmegs every already degenerated into licentiousness. histories of antiquity. No modern histoday, to warm its system. The traveller He further added his hope that such im- ry is absolutely free froin those obligatory stared, calculated the expense to a frac- proper conduct would never be repeated; falsehoods, those conventional flatteries, tion, noted the information he had receiv- and concluded by trusting the gentlemen those respectful reticences, which destroy ed in his common-place book, and, in his around him would think him mild, when at once our confidence in the historian, next letter to his honoured papa and they were told it was her imperial majesty and our understanding of the events which mamma, delighted them with the result who was the unfortunate lady so offended. he relates. The religion and the policy of his judicious statistic inquiries.'
of the state, those two grand levers of • Count Stroganoff, president of the
human society, have never been ap. Imperial Academy, a post he filled with The Young Ladies' and Gentlemen's proached with entire frankness: historiinfinite credit to himself, as he was truly Arithmetic; illustrated by upwards ans have never ventured openly to attach a man of taste and virtue, so was ne a nobleman of large fortune, great wit, and
of 400 Original Examples, and in- blame wherever they thought it deserved. polished manners; and he had a splendid
tended as an Introduction to the Au- Even those writers who dared to attack establishment. His urbanity led him to
thor's Complete Course of Arithme- the church or the monarchy, have veiled
accusations, often exaggerated, under keep open table; and, indeed, so liberal
tic. By W. H. White, of Bedford.
protestations which were no less false. was he in this respect, that on those days
Their declarations of respect were no less when he dined with his sovereign or with The importance of arithmetical and false. Their declarations of respect were his fellow-peers, the table-cloth was still mathematical science, needs no eulo- to mark their aggressions; they seemed spread, and the guests very cheerfully setgium. Among the various authors, to reckon on their readers not taking all down to the repast, choosing one among compilers, and editors, who have used their words literally; and they have themselves to do the honours of the feast their endeavours to encourage sò laud- exerted much ingenuity, in depriving I was frequently one of bis excellency's able a pursuit, none are so eligible, which is, of all others, the most essential guests; and one day, when every thing went on well, the count got so happy,
none so successful, as those that express to those who desire to be listened to. that, after the company had taken the their intentions in simple terms and The slavery of the press has not alone usual parting glass of 'sparkling cham- avoiding technical phraseology and ab- hindered those who have written history pagne, he ordered his brutler to bring truseness, are, paradoxically speak from telling the truth as they had seen it
and knew it to be. The authority which in which it appeared to them; and it is of divine worship, on alms to the serrants is ascribed to past times, has disfigured only after having exhausted these origin of Christ, anel for the redemption of their historical criticism, by rendering it sub-al authorities, and formed an unpreju. own souls. St. Eucherius, when he came servient to every party, and to every diced opinion from them, that I had re to himself, called St. Boniface, and Fulkind of ambition. Many great writers course to subsequent writers. Then only rad, abbot of the convent of St. Dennis, have not hesitated to distort facts, in or. I often learned the existence of historical and first chaplain of King Pepin, to der to sanction, under their guarantee, controversies, of which I had not before whom he related these things. He reopinions which they would have ventur- suspected the possibility. I have lost commended that they should go to the ed to lay down in theory: many others soinething by this process; but the con- sepulchre of Charles; and that if they have fancied they saw in the past, every trary method would, I think, have been did not find his body there, it would be a thing which they desired in the present. more injurious. History, thus contem- proof of the truth of his vision. Boniface They have sought in history the rights of plated at its source, appears to nie so and Fulrad accordingly went to the conthe present generation, and not examples new, so different from what I supposed it vent, where the body of Charles had been to serve posterity as guides; they liave to be, that I seem to myself to have gain. interred ; and having opened his tomb, a applied to past ages for the limits of the ed more by guarding against the prejų- dragon instantly sprung out of it, and it prerogatives of the throne, or those of the dices of compilers, than I can have lost was blackened in the inside, as if he had liberties of the people, as if nothing could by renouncing the aid of their informa- been burnt. We ourselves have seen exist now but what had existed formerly ; tion.'
men who lived till our times, and who and truth has suffered, because all parties
That portion of M. Sismondi's his- were present at these occurrences, and have disfigured ancient events, to convert tory, which has now appeared, em
they attested the things which they saw them into arms in favour of new preten- braces a period of six hundred years, coming to the knowledge of Pepin, he
and which they heard. These things sions.'
Speaking more particularly of the from the fourth to the tenth century, caused a synod to be assembled at Lephistory of France, he says, —
and, consequently, includes the mo- tines, at which St. Boniface, together with Writers have always attempted to narchs of the Merovingian and Carlo- George, a legate of the Apostolic See, render it subservient to establishing the vingian race. The unimportant events presided. We have the acts of this synod, rights either of the kings, of the dukes M. Sismondi passes over slightly, but which attempted to restore all the eccleand peers of the parliaments, of the pre- when he comes to subjects worthy of siastical property which had been taken; lates, or of the people, instead of investi- his pen, he labours them with great ta- but, as Pepin could not restore them all, gating the errors of every species of pow- lent and ingenuity; hence the history of Aquitain, he at least mortgaged them
on account of his war with Gaifer, Prince er, to avoid them in future. Men no less of Pepin, Charles Martel, and Charles to bishops, directing that they should pay ingenious than learned, have, on this occasion, done violence to all facts, in order magne, are admirably written; the last tithes, and that each household pay twelve to bring them in support of their own in particular, which is by far the best pennies to the church till the whole could theories.'
portion of his valuable work.' We be restored.' • The partiality which most historians have already snentioned that M. Sis- A history, written with such care have imposed on themselves as a national mondi draws his facts from the original and such talents as this author has disduty, fancying that their patriotism com- sources, and not from modern writers; played, needs no other recommendamanded them to be the advocates of the and an instance of the value of such tion; it must necessarily supersede nation and its princes, and to show, in spite of the testimony of foreign historians a plan is found in the letter to Louis every work on the subject. and of subsequent events, that all the the Germanic, in which the clergy kings of France were good or great inen;
The Meditator, their armies always victorious, and their Martel more than a century after his
AN OCCASIONAL PAPER, people (except when they threw off legi- death. This letter has been generally
No. I. timate authority) always loyal and happy. misquoted; but M. Sismondi thus To dissemble the faults of the govern- gives it from the original :
Cogito, ego, sum.- DESCARTES. ment is, in the historian, still more imprudent and criminal. In collecting na• It is because Prince Charles, fa
I think, therefore, I exist. tional records, we should think less of the ther of King Pepin was the first of the If may naturally be required at the reputation of the dead than of the advan- Kings and Princes of the Franks to divide hands of the writer of this
paper, to adBel, or Louis XIII. will not suffer by the that, for that cause alone, he is damned yance sufficient reasons (provided he but the sufferings which they inflicted on Eucherius, Bishop of Orleans, whose bo evidently betrayed in the very title of reproaches cast upon their memories ; eternally. We know, in fact, that St. | hath them) for the revolutionary spirit their cotemporaries will be renewed for dy rests in the convent of St. Frudon, be his work : the why and the wherefore us or for our posterity, if we do not learning in prayer, was carried into the world of his most unheard-of temerity in preby their example what perfidy may be of spirits; and that, among the things suming to deviate from the supreme allowed to false piety, what crimes may which he saw, and which the Lord shows authority of Steele, Addison, and cruelty may be the consequence of a sin- torments in the lowest depths of hell. Johnson, to follow the more questiongle weakness; if we do not see in all the The angel who conducted him being in- able one of Hawkesworth, in daring to abyss to which absolute power leads.'
terrogated on this subject, answered, that, insult the sense of the people of Eng
in the judgment to come, the soul and land, by using more than three syllaThe rigid plan which M. Sismondi body of him who takes away the goods of bles in the name of his paper. This has adopted in his own work, is thus the church shall be exposed, even before abuse of language (which Mr. Locke stated :
the end of the world, to eternal torments, bath unaccountably omitted in his My work was begun and completed by sentence of the saints who are to judge chapter so intitled), as it nearly confrom the originals, according to the ad- with the lord. The sacrilegious plunderer vice which I formerly received from the shall be laden with the penalties not only cerns the interests of science, and great historian, John de Muller. I stu- of his own sins, but of the sins of those strikes at the root of learning in genedied history in the cotemporary writers who had bestowed
their property, for the ral, the title being that part of a work I endeavoured to represent it in the light I love of God, on holy places, on the lamps by wbich alone its merits may be very
properly determined, and the know- The fair sex, indeed, of whoin, in dow. Listen, then, O Isles! I'm as ledge of titles being that upon which the outset, the author professeth him- silent as Queen Cleopatra in balm! the fame and character of our pro- self a respectful and distant admirer, and in this particular differ from the foundest scholars depend ; this, most may require a looser and more popular Spectator only in the cause of my siflagitious of all attempts at under explanation; and, though he cannot lence: his was voluntary, mine, alas ! mining the fabric of our glorious con- consider himself strictly as accountable is not so. Should I ever dare to write. stitution, demands soine account of to them, yet as Culex potest pungere an epic, it shall begin with—Hail, the causes which led to its commission, anak (an elegant rendering of our vol holy Babel,' or some such. which may palliate though they cannot garism, 'a gnat may sting a giant'), I As to my physiognomy, I confess it is excuse it.
would not wish to offend them by directly the reverse of my prototype. To so reasonable a request, the 11- neglect.
His, as he tells iis, was curt' and 'comthor hopes the following will afford a Thus, then, to address them in pro- pressed, like the Dutch countenance of full and satifactory answer; especially ! pria persona (proxies in such matters a lady's snap-dog. Mine, on the conto those who are of an argumentative being rather unlucky). As there hath trary, is rather of the Manchegan con-, and a logical turn of mind, for to none already appeared a paper of this de tour, as that of the monk of St. Franother doth he profess himself account scription, intitled “the Bee,' I at first cis-pale, thin, and long, rather pecu-, able; for, as Mr. Locke justly ob- bad intended, in order to make some- liarly cast, yet not so much so as to be serves, God made us men, but left it thing of a flash, and shew what a noise fairly called ugly, grave as ever Casto Aristotle to make us reasonable it should create in the world, by giving sius', and slightly inclined to the mecreatures;' and, therefore, one might as it a title of similar import, to have lancholy. lief expect to find truth in the bottom christened it 'the Humbuz; but this Now, sir, I warrant me, your superof a well, as to pretend to any degree thought I dropped, and for the follow- ficial thinker will 'adduce this discreof rationality, without having sounded iny reason: I wished to give the pub- pancy from the prince of periodicals, the profundities of irrefragable logic. lic' some insight into the manner of as an argument against my wit, as my The author takes this to be evident to my own life and conduct. Now, these similitude, in point of taciturnity, was the most illiterate, and so without fara are peculiarly meditative, as will apo in favour of it; but, sir, on the conther delay will proceed to his justifica- pear in the sequel, and hence have I trary, I pledge myself to prove from tion.
chosen the appellation of Meditator, as this very discrepancy, and that logically His first reason, then, for the choice a suitable title for papers which con- too, the very opposite conclusion. of the above title, and which, indeed, tain the history of myself. This, then, As thus, sir, i take as an undoubted. may seem to render all other superfto- is a kind of a reason for the singularity premiss, the following proposition : ous, is this, videlicet: it suiteth his of my option, but is not much insisted Every man who possesseth a short phyz own fancy (this may be called; in the on, the two first being more conclusive is a brilliant wit, for the truth of which vein of Touchstone, the reason unman- and logical.
we have a complete logical induction nerly; or, after the practice of the These papers, therefore, shall be de- in the aforesaid example of the Specta-, schools, the reason, which is no reason voted exclusively to myself, and if any tor. If it be said this induction is viat all).
one should be of so undiscerning a ge- cious, being but a singular instance, . To those accustomed to the logical nios, as to prefer reading the life of evertible by an opposite one, my resmethod of proof, and the strict deduc- Julius Cæsar or Alexander the Great, ponse comes as pat as a knight to a distion of the conclusion from legitimate I can only say to him, with the Arch- tressed virgin, though they should have premises, any other reason will doubt- bishop of Grenada, — Fare thee well, as little probable connexion as the less appear unnecessary; but, lest any Mr. Gil Blas, and I wish thee a little moon with a pot of ale; videlicet:scruples might arise in the minds of more taste.' First, therefore, the pub- though the Spectator is certainly but juvenals in ratiocination, there is ano- lic may be anxious to have some assu- one, I believe it will be allowed that be ther argument scarcely less cogentrance that they are not holding evil is a host in himself, so that, instead of than the above, which is of that species communication, and that 'I am neither one instance, we have a host of them, beautifully denominated by Father what the Spaniards have heretofore af- and so complete our induction suffiMalebranche, “knock him down,' and firmed of our nation in particular, nor ciently. Again, I take as an axiom, whose efficacy, both physical and me what my Lord Monboddo bath indubi- what I dare say the reader, having gone taphysical, he is said to have confirmed, tably demonstrated of all nations iu ge- thus far with me, will find little scruple by repeated experiment on the head neral, i. e, neither a devil nor a mon- in granting, viz, that my bead is turned; of Antony Arnauld, doctor of the Sor- key. The following description of my and being turned on the pillar of my bonne, in-their contest concerning the outward man will, i hope, set their neck, so as to bring the flat of the nose Theory of Ideas.
fears at rest. But, first, I'bey leave to to an horizontal position, I believe it Secondly, then, the paper called the mention an attribute of mine, which, will be allowed that my visage is now Meditator, is so denominated, because although not strictly referrible to my as short as one could wish, when it is ..2..3..2..&c. If the reader remain exterior, is yet a tacit proof that I shall recollected that I premised a deficiency yet unconvinced, we must only hand become bighly popular. I suppose if in its breadth, when lying in a natural him over to Pyrrho or David Hume, I can show any physical similitude be- position. Hence the conclusion is obas one guilty of incurable scepticism; tween myself and the Spectator, it will vious, and my adversary's argument this last mode of argument being, that be a suficient passport to similar in-goes for nothing. Having satisfied the in most approved use among the ora- mortality, and though I may hereafter acute and metaphysical as to this point, tors of the present day, and, indeed, to write blasphemy. or sheer nonsense, my it only remains to say that my person speak the truth on't, is wholly unan. claiin to a seat on Parnassus beside him, corresponds prettily with my.countea swerable.
will be as undoubted as that of his sha- | nance, being spare though not ille
turned, my chest a little in the shade which would be at once a sign of my extinguished with my fingers, and Virof my head and shoulders, and my affluence and the estimation in which gil into a favourite cat, in the act of waist not larger than that which might my work will be held by the public. suffering for her depredations on my be supposed to fill a moderate lady's But my printer is more ambitious : he cream-basin. A joint stool, upon
which wants me to agree to a device which 1 step when getting into bed, may apIt may concern the public to know shall represent me on Parnassus, and propriately represent Shakspeare, and that I am about the middle size, wear in the following position.
my printer may retain his original oca glass, and take my pocket handker- My body being thrown into the atti- cupation, merely substituting his own chief out of my left skirt. I declare, tude of a feathered Mercury, with the posteriors for Milton's, which would on the veracity of the oaks of Dodona finger and thumb of the right hand, I considerably improve the back ground, (and that was never questioned, not- tweak Homer by the nose, taking Vir- as Milton was, by all accounts, disprowithstanding that a wooden prophet is gil under the short rib with the other; portionately heavy, in the last part of somewhat akin to Dagon), I have no at the same time, my left foot is to be him which he shewed to the public. means of coming at the precise year in placed accurately on the culminating Thus, the reader will perceive the wonwhich I was born; for, being yet un point of Shakespeare's belly, a section derful economny, and keeping of my married, there has been no perennial of which, perpendicular to my leg, be- group; a printer, a joint stool, a caagrowth by which my age can be accu- ing supposed parallel to the horizon: dle, and a cat, perform all that was ever rately computed. It may be said, even i. e. Shakespeare being on the flat of done on Parnassus by Homer, Virgil, if there had, I should not have been an his back, the effect of this pressure on Milton, and the Genius of Poetry. atom the wiser; such growth as I al- the aforesaid parts may be duly noti
My printer is, 'however, not quite salude to, being coeval only with the fied by a correspondent protrusion or tistied with the part assigned him, but date of marriage, and therefore in any expulsion of his eyeballs and tongue. I hope to bring him round. His owo case can be of no chronological impor- My body being thus firmly supported device he calls by the name-Poet's tance, unless, like Eve, I was married upon one leg, the supernumerary one Pinnacle, but will not allow mine to be the day I was born. But this objec- may be employed in dispossessing Mil- denominated Printer's Province...! tion is futile, and may be answered sa- ton, fondamentally, from his seat in the shall duly communicate to the public tisfactorily in this wise.' That, beside clouds.
any future particulars of this proceedmarriage, by the laws of uxorious Scot- Though I may thus be supposed to ing, which I shall judge to make for land, legitimating all offspring ante- have gotten rid of my ablest antago- their interests. P. WILDERNESSE. cedent to that blessed ceremony, and nists, yet, the lower seats being still thereby giving the happy bridegroom occupied by the inferior scribes, who Original Communications. a legal claim to an ex post facto cornu- are nevertheless generally most troubletation, I say, beside such consideration, some and clamorous about their right
NATIONAL EDUCATION. it is on all hands allowed that before of precedency, they remained yet to the performance of that laudable act, be disposed of. It was here the inven
To the Editor of the Literary Chronicle. we are as nothing; our years of single- tion of my printer shewed itself most
SIR,-The impartiality and candour ness vanish noteless amid the infinite happy, in the choice of a delicate and
ever observable in the conduct of your waste of eternity, and our existence is appropriate emblem. 'Twas a long paper, has induced me to trouble you nothing more than a state of lifeless time, indeed, before I could prevail with a few remarks on Natioual Eduvegetation, unless a man can be said to upon the rascal to let me into what he cation,—a subject, sir, which I conlive who enjoys his health, his book, bis called his master-stroke, which is this : ceive will not be misplaced in a work friend, and his bottle, in comfort, he is to be introduced under a petti. whose aim is the welfare of society, peace, and serenity of mind — barely; coat-us the Genius of Poetry, per- and whose objects of research must naan assertion which manifestly outrages forming the part of my auxiliary, by turally embrace every institution conall decency and common sense. einptying a chamber-pot on the heads uected with the improvement and inI have been thus particular in de- of those who are seated below.
struction of mankind. Should the fola scribing my person and physical quali- This design seems to me to border lowing observatious meet your approfications, for another reason beside that somewhat on the ludicrous, beside the bation, by giving them an early insercited above, viz. that of satisfying the conceit implied in it being rather pre
will oblige vast curiosity which the public must sumptuous; for though I confess I am
Your constant reader undoubtedly have about every item not without the
and correspondent, B. which goes to make up the sum of my Itch of picture in the front,
On a reference to the page of history, attributes; and, indeed, I have to apo
With bags and wicked rhyme upon 't, even in the earliest ages of society, we logise that my printer hath not as yet yet I think the reader will agree with may discover the rudiments of national hit off a proper design of me, to em- me as to the propriety of a few altera- education. The Jews, as the most rebellish the head of this paper. For tions I suggested, but to which the gularly organized nation, might, inmy own part, I wished to be drawn in printer hath some unaccountable ob- deed, have been supposed to have purmy college academicals, with my rightjections.
sued some fixed plan in the education hand firmly grasping Aristotle's Logics, As I never perceive the spirit of com- of their progeny, since they lived under and an owl (emblematic of my wit) posing so strong within ine as when I a divine legation, whose principles were perched upon my left shoulder. To am about going to sleep, I propose that pure and wise as the Being from whom give life and truth to the picture, I Parnassus shall be converted into my it emanated. But such was the commight also be drawn as devouring a flock-bed (which can be done by a few plicated nature of the Jewish economy, custard fresh from the pastry-cook, and strokes of the brush); Homer's nose so numerous its legal requirements, wrapt in one of my own Meditators; l into the snuff of a candle I bave just ! and so extensive the application of its