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what will become of our poor boy! My tears flow so fast, that I am not able to write any further : and I would not willingly make you weep with me.Let us take care not to undo the child that is already undone : if we can leave him any thing, a little virtue will keep him from want, and a little fortune raise him in the world. Mind your health, and let me know frequently what you are doing.-Remember me to Tulliola and Cicero."
II. “Do not fancy that I write longer letters to any one than to yourself, unless when I chance to receive a longer letter from another, which I am indispensably obliged to answer in every particular. The truth of it is, I have no subject for a letier at present; and as my affairs now stand, there is noThing more painful to me than writing. As for you, and our dear Tuiliola, I cannot write to you without abundance of tears; for I see borb of
miserable, whom I always wished to be happy, and whom I thought to have made $0.-1 must acknowledge, you have done every thing for me with the utmost fortitude, and the utmost affection; nor indeed is it more than I expected from yon; though at the same time it is a great aggravation of my ill fortune, that the afflictions I suffer can be relieved only by those which you undergo for my sake. For honest Valerius has written me a letter, which I could not read without weeping very bitterly; whereini he gives me an account of the public procession wbich you have made for me at Rome. Alas! my
dearest life, must theu Terentia, the darling of my soul, whose favour and recommendations have been so often sought by others; must my Terentia droop under the weight of sorrow, appear in the habit of a mourner, pour out floods of
tears, and all this for my sake ; for my sake, who have undone my family by consulting the safety of others ?-As for what you write about selling your house, I am very much afflicted, that what is laid out upon my account may any way reduce you to misery and want. If we can bring about our design, we may indeed recover every thing; but if fortune persists in persecuting us, how can I thiok of your sacrificing for me the poor remainder of your possessions ? No, my dearest life, let me beg you to let those bear my expenses who are able, and perhaps willing to do it; and if you would show your love to me, do not injure your health, which is already too much impaired. You present yourself before my eyes day and night; I see you labour amidst innumerable difficulties ; I am afraid lest you
should sink under them; but I find in you all the qualitications that are necessary to support you: be sure therefore to cherish your health, that you may compass the end of your hopes and your endeavours.- Farewell, my Terentia, my heart's desire, farewell."
III. “ Aristocritus hath delivered to me three of your letters, which I have almost defaced with iny tears. Oh! my Terentia, I am consumed with grief, and feel the weight of your sufferings more than of my
I am more miserable than you are, notwithstanding you are very much so; and that for this reason, because, though our calamity is common, it is my tault that brought it upon us. I ought to have died rather than have been driven out of the city : I am therefore overwhelmed, not only with grief, but with shame. I am ashamed, that I did not do my utmost for the best of wives, and the dearest of children. You are ever present before niy eyes, in
your mourning, your affliction, and your sickness. Amidst all whicb, there scarce appears to me the least glimmering of hope. However, as long as you hope, I will not despair-I will do what you ad
I have returned my thanks to those friends whom
you mentioned, and have let thein know, that you have acquainted me with their good offices. I am sensible of Piso's extraordinary zeal and endeavours to serve me. Oh! would the gods grant that you and I might live together in the enjoyment of such a son-in-law, and of our dear children !-As for what you write of your coming to me, if I desire it, I would rather you should be where you are, because I know you are my principal agent at Rome. If you succeed, I shall come to you: if notBut I need say no more.
Be careful of your health ; and be assured, that nothing is, or ever was, so dear to me as yourself. Farewell, my Terentia! I fancy that I see you, and therefore cannot command
weakness so far as to refrain from tears."
“ I do not write to you as often as I might; because, notwithstanding I am afflicted at all times, I am quite overcome with sorrow whilst I am writing to you, or reading any letters that I receive from you. If these evils are not to be removed, I must desire to see you, my dearest life, as soon as possible, and to die in your embraces ; since neither the gods, whom you always religiously worshipped, nor ihe men, whose good I always promoted, have rewarded us according to our deserts.-- What a distressed wretch am I! Should I ask a weak woman oppressed with cares and sickness, to come and live with me; or shall I not ask her ? Can I live without you ? But I find I must. If there be
any hopes of my return, help it forward, and promote it as much as you are able. But if all that is over, as I fear it is, find out some way or other of coming to me. This you may be sure of, that I shall not look upon myself as quite undone whilst you are with me. But what will become of Tulliola? You must look to that; I must confess, I am eutirely at a loss about her. Whatever happens, we must take care of the reputation and marriage of that dear unfortunate girl. As for Cicero, he shall live in my bosom, and in my arms. I cannot write any further, my sorrows will not let me -Support yourself, my dear Terentia, as well as you are able. We have lived and flourished together amidst the greatest honours; it is not our crimes, virtues, that have distressed us.--Take more than ordinary care of your health; I am more afflicted with your sorrows than my own.- Farewell, my Terentia, thou dearest, faithfullest, and best of wives.”
Methinks it is a pleasure to see this great man in his family, who makes so different a tigure in the Forum, or Senate of Rome. Every one admires the orator and the consul; but, for my part, l esteem the husband and the father. His private character, with all the little weaknesses of humanity, is as amiable, as the figure he makes in public is awful and majestic. But at the same time that I love to surprise so great an author in bis private walks, and 10 survey bim in bis most familiar lights, I think it would be barbarous to form to ourselves any idea of mean-spiritedness from these natural openings of his heart, and disburdening of his thoughts to a wife. He has written several other letters to the same person, but none with so great passion as these of which I have given the foregoing extracts.
It would be ill natured not to acquaint the English reader, that his wife was successful in her solicitations for this great man; and saw her husband return to the bonours of which he had been deprived, with all the pomp and acclamation that usually attended the greatest triumph.
N° 160. TUESDAY, APRIL 18, 1710.
From my own Apartment, April 17. A COMMON civility to an impertinent fellow often draws upon one a great many unforeseen troubles ; and, if one doth not take particular care, will be interpreted by him as an overture of friendship and intimacy. This I was very sensible of this morning. About two hours before day, I heard a great rapping at my door, which continued some time, until my maid could get herself ready to go down and see what was the occasion of it. She then brought me up word, that there was a gentleman who seemed very much in haste, and said he must needs speak with me. By the description she gave me of him, and by his voice, which I could hear as I lay in my bed, i fancied him to be my old acquaintance the upholsterer, whom I met the other day in St. James's-Park. For which reason, I bid her tell the gentleman, whoever he was, " that I was indisposed; that I could see nobody; and that, if he had
any thing to say to me, I desired he would leave it in writing.” My maid, after having delivered