THE BERMONDSEY TANNERS; OR, THE DIVERTING HISTORY OF THE BROTHERS CHEESELY. CHAPTER X. THERE is a contrivance well known amongst the heroes of the ring called the "pudding-bag." When the face of a pugilistic champion, who comes forth victorious from the contest exhibits (which is invariably the case) the aspect of a very pretty palette, the region round the eyes alternating ivory black with Prussian blue, the tip of the nose intermixing scarlet with vermillion, the jaw-bones, cheeks, forehead, and lips exhausting all the other hues of the rainbow, the pudding-bag in question, consisting of an incomprehensible medley of porridge and рар, envelopes the head of the Crossbuttock Dares, or the Fibbing Entellus, until in the lapse of a few days his, “os sublime" comes forth unscathed, and radiant with thicklipped, bull-dog prowess. The brothers Cheesely, and Editor Leatherhead having submitted themselves to this process on the night following the grand Slate-inauguration feed to their workmen, presented their sconces in rather a dingy condition next morning from the effects of the rough treatment of their drunken curriers. Brother Tom's enthusiasm was, however, irrepressible. Having driven in his fourwheeled demi-fortune, as jaunty as Prunella, to the publishing office of the Slate, he loaded the vehicle with copies of the paper, and proceeded on his round of visits to his Bermondsey friends, to parade his new bantling. It was not alone the vast political distinction of being known as the proprietor of a real newspaper sold for a 66 tanner," which to a tradesmation to gentility (leading on, in man was a very gratifying approxibrother Tom's imagination, as smooth as galloon, to great things in the way of influence). No, brother Tom was stimulated by still higher considerations. He figured himself in this number-AS A POET!! hide your head, Homer, and Milton, sing small Yes Cedite, Romani scriptores, cedite Graii!” his first poetical effusion; and as he Brother Tom had here perpetrated sat bolt upright in his shandradan, holding the reins as if he were "arming" skins, and plying the lash as though he were currying leather, he thought of Wordsworth's star going down, and Tom Cheesely, the tanner's, culminating in its stead to the zenith: "Sublimi feriam sidera vertice !" Tom Cheesely's belly expanded at the thought, until its rising palpitations unbuttoned the apron which he had got specially tanned in pit No. 4 (that in which least of the Cheesely chemical compound was used), his whole facial flatitude became suffused with a gloss like patentleather, and he whirled along as proud as if a peacock's feather descended from his nether extremity. And well might brother Tom be proud of this unparalleled composition. Reader, does it not stir you like a trumpet-blast? "ODE TO WATERLOO. The reeking soil of battle bore The flakes of Britton's proudest gore, From hearts content to die before They or their swords should yield. Upon the breeze the bugle's blast, Its beams upon the bleeding. And pale amid the slaughter'd were Hurrah, Saint George, the field is won; Host follow'd host, and crowd on crowd, The valiant, brave, and strong." Not to travel out of the first verse of this canticle, there is a boldness in the metaphor of "the slain" "groaning," the dead d-ning each others' eyes, and pelting their bones at each other, for which the palm must clearly be awarded to the Bermondsey Tanner in this species of literature. "Doesn't it cut out Hohenlinden?" said brother Tom, at the eight-andfortieth house at which he descended to present the owner with a copy of the Slate, and to receive fresh compliments upon his poetical genius. "A truly sublime effusion, Mr. Cheesely-perfectly brilliant." Ah, just so; I signed it with a star." "Sir, you have plainly engaged the most competent critics in town.” "Good morning, sir." Brother Tom retires a few paces, returns, and seizes his unfortunate victim again by the button. "Ain't my poem the best thing since Childe Harold?" "I have said so, Mr. Cheesely, and such is my opinion." "Good morning, Mr. Sweet-oil." "Good morning, Mr. Cheesely." And brother Tom set out to pay his nine-and-fortieth visit, leaving each individual, whose disinterested opinion he had canvassed and obtained (most of them having dealings with him in trade, and expecting a large per-centage in return for his favourable criticism) gaping widemouthed in wonder at Tom's egregious apishness in swallowing the coarsest flattery, or with tongue in cheek, supplying an intelligible comment upon the value of solicited criticism. Brother Tom went home that evening deeply impressed with the conviction that his "geese were all swans"-that he himself was swan the first, his spavined Pegasus a thorough-bred racer, and his editor, Leatherhead, a Solon goose at the very least. He drank three bottles of claret on the strength of his unexampled success, and going to bed "glorious," behold at deep midnight, "That hour o' night's black arch the keystone !" a charming vision drew aside his The "turn again Whittington, Lord Mayor of London," was not more important in its results, for adding another ray to the brilliant coruscations of European literature, it made Tom Cheesely a poet for life! Tom buried his throbbing brows in his bolster as proud as patent-leather! CHAPTER XI. Next day brother Tom set his wits to work to hammer out another poetical production for the Slate. He was resolved to exhibit his versatility by varying his specimens, and as he had commenced with the ode, he determined now to try the epigramto try?-ill-judged expression-to succeed triumphantly, as a matter of course. He had heard of a celebrated epigram-writer, named Martial, and thought Tom to himself: "D-n that Marshall! He must have been a vulgar fellow by the name. Curry me to lastings, if I dont cut him out, as I cut out Campbell and Wordsworth; so to work he set, closeting himself for three days, during which time he did not permit a soul to come near him, when "With many a blot, 警 he contrived to hammer out the following: TO LORD STANLEY. "Busy, little waspish thing, 'Gainst all that's good to take your fling; - A ministerial journal has acutely discovered that "a certain degree of anarchy" is more suitable to the Syrians than Mehemet Ali's despotic government. Pray, Mr. Ministers' Hack, what degree of starvation would be more suitable to you than Spartan bread; or what amount of roasting in a certain place might be more congenial to your feelings than even the most comfortless corner of mother earth? Lord Palmerston attempts to teach Mehemet Ali les bienséances du table. The Viceroy is determined to cut up his Turkey after his own fashion. "Causa teterrima belli," says the Latin Poet-it is unnecessary that we should finish the quotation-but the word suppressed bears some affinity to the English idem sonans of the last of the three words quoted above. All but the " plucked will comprehend us. From the beleaguered Troy down to Brighton Barracks-from Ulysses to Lord Cardigan, from Nestor to Lieut. Cunningham, ("Powers eternal, such need scarcely add, extinguished Lord Stanley! (To be continued.) names mingled!") woman has had a finger in every pie, and a hand in every quarrel which has set men by the ears. Woman is, sooth to say, an angelic creature, yes, Eveangelic. Hear the testimony of the young lieutenant at the Brighton court-martial. “When I was at the band in Sussex-square, a young lady made an observation to me, What a very curious woman Mrs. Cunningham is.' I asked, 'Why?' She then said, 'I heard Mrs. Cunningham ask Lord Cardigan several times why the Captains Reynolds were not at his party. Lord Cardigan gave her no answer for some time, at last he replied that they should not come to his house as long as they lived.' The young lady then said she thought Mrs. Cunningham must have known that he was not on terms with them." So all this hubbub has been raised by a devil of a petticoat! The text with which we commenced is faulty in the Codices. The passage should be read thus : "Causa teterrima belli, Cunningham!” THE ROYAL PINS. "On the recovery of the diamond union pin presented by Her Majesty to Prince Albert on the morning of the Prince's birth-day, the Queen, with eyes sparkling with delight, Such pretty pins 'twas vastly pleasant I'm sure they're worth a thousand pound. Say, careless youth, how could you lose 'em? TICKELEM TENDER. NON-ORIGINALITY OF MR. DICKENS'S ASSUMED NAME, "BOZ." BY MRS. DR. CAUSTIC. "There is nothing new under the sun," saith the wise king of Israel. Who will doubt this, when I assure the readers of the London Magazine, that not even the famous name of Boz has one particle of a claim to originality! Judge for yourselves! There was Claude Gros de Boze, a Frenchman, who flourished in the early part of the last century, and whose writings were very popular amongst the Parisians. He was a celebrated Archæologist, and is known (amongst others) by the following works. "A Dissertation upon the worship of the Goddess of Health amongst the ancients"-" A Dissertation upon the Janus of the Romans,"" An explanation of an ancient inscription found at Lyons, throwing some light on the sacrifices called Taurobola,”—“A_History of the Academie Royale des Inscriptions et Belles Lettres,"-" Letters upon some medals discovered at Smyrna, and upon the monies formerly coined by the Barons of France," &c. &c. There was also one Paoli Bozi, a Venetian, who in 1621 published a poem, entitled the "Tebaide Sacra," in which he converted the Thebais of Statius to religious purposes. In the preceding century, a Roman, named Tomaso Bozio, published a rather celebrated work, "De Ruinis gentium et Regnorum," and in 1596, entered the arena of controversy against Macchiavelli, and produced a work which caused a great sensation in his time, "De antiquo et novo Statu Italiæ." Then, we have amongst the Italian translators of Homer, Giuseppe Bozoli, and in 1818, we have Signor Annibale Bozoli publishing at Venice a very learned discourse on the origin of the art of writing; while, going back to the close of the sixteenth century, we find a fellow-townsman of his, named Paolo Bozzi, producing a sweet pastoral, named "Fillino." Here are Bozzes enough with a vengeance! But, we have not yet exhausted our literary catalogue, for we find another antiquarian named Bozaus, publishing at Upsal, in 1694, his "Observationes de Antiquis populi Romani commerciis ;" and 150 years before we have a learned Roman physician named Giovanni Bozavotra, publishing a very useful work on venesection, applied to ladies in a certain interesting situation. After this, who will deny that Mr. Dickens's nom de plume is about as original as the tales introduced into Master Humphrey's Clock! AN EASTERN VISION' BY A SCOTCHMAN ENDOWED WITH THE GIFT OF SECOND SIGHT. The Tempest grows, and brews the yeast, "Look, friend, what's doing in the East? A TASTE OF PHILOLOGY.-AsSASSIN-French id:-Spanish Asesino-from asesar-to act with prudence-because he overreaches his antagonist (very characteristic of the nation this derivative!) The Spanish word bears the second meaning of "cheat" or "impostor," and a third meaning which affords a beautiful illustration of the metaphoric elegancies of the Spanish language. A small patch of black silk which ladies used to place near the corner of the eye, was called asesino. A ROYAL SCHNEIDER.-The Germans have been always distinguished as accomplished snips. Prince Albert has now earned the sobriquet of "King of the Tailors." Not a Court Circular nor Brighton newspaper for the last month that has not contained an elaborate description, or a laudatory comment on the "new clothing" invented by Prince Albert for his hussar regiment. We have a pair of unmentionables which sadly need repair, and are thinking of dispatching an order for "a new seat" to the Field Marshal Windcon |