much to their advantage, as those in which Gervas* has drawn the agreeable Chloe. But since, without such assistance, I frankly confess, and am sensible, that I have not a month's wit more, I think I ought, while I am in my sound health and senses, to make my will and testament; which I do in manner and form following:

Imprimis, I give to the stock-jobbers about the Exchange of London, as a security for the trusts daily reposed in them, all my real estate; which I do hereby vest in the said body of worthy citizens for ever.

Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without ready cash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bear-skin†, which I have frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supply their necessity; I say, I give also the said bear-skin as an immediate fund to the said citizens for ever.

Item, I do hereby appoint a certain number of the said citizens to take all the custom-house or customary oaths concerning all goods imported by the whole city; strictly directing that some select members, and not the whole number of a body corporate, should be perjured.

Item, I forbid all ns and persons of qty to watch bargains near and about the Exchange, to the diminution and wrong of the said stockjobbers.

Thus far, in as brief and intelligible a manner as

* Jervas.

á

+ Stock-jobbers, who contract for a transfer of stock which they do not possess, are called sellers of bear-skins; and universally whoever sells what he does not possess is said proverbially to sell the bear's skin while the bear runs in the woods.

In the language of Exchange-alley, Bears signify those who buy stock which they cannot receive, or who sell stock which they have not. Those who pay money for what they purchase, or who sell stock which they really have, are called Bulls.

any will can appear, until it is explained by the learned, I have disposed of my real and personal estate but, as I am an adept, I have by birth an equal right to give also an indefeasible title to my endowments and qualifications, which I do in the following manner:

Item, I give my chastity to all virgins who have withstood their market.

Item, I give my courage among all who are ashamed of their distressed friends, all sneakers in assemblies, and men who show valour in common conversation.

Item, I give my wit (as rich men give to the rich) among such as think they have enough already. And in case they shall not accept of the legacy, I give it to Bentivolio* to defend his works from time to time, as he shall think fit to publish them.

Item, I bestow my learning upon the honorary members of the Royal Society.

Now for the disposal of this body.

As these eyes must one day cease to gaze on Teraminta, and this heart shall one day pant no more for her indignation; that is to say, since this body must be earth; I shall commit it to the dust in a manner suitable to my character. Therefore, as there are those who dispute, whether there is any such real person as Isaac Bickerstaff or not, I shall excuse all persons who appear what they really are, from coming to my funeral. But all those who are, in their way of life, personat, as the Latins have it, persons assumed, and who appear what they really are not, are hereby invited to that solemnity.

The body shall be carried by six watchmen, who are never seen in the day.

Item, The pall shall be held by the six most known pretenders to honesty, wealth and power,

who are not possessed of any of them. The two first, a half lawyer, and a compleat justice. The two next a chymist, and a projector. The third couple, a treasury-solicitor, and a small courtier.

To make my funeral (what that solemnity, when done to common men, really is in itself) a very farce, and since all mourners are mere actors on these occasions, I shall desire those who are professedly such to attend mine. I humbly, therefore, beseech Mrs. Barry to act once more, and be my widow. When she swoons away at the churchporch, I appoint the merry Sir John Falstaff, and the gay Sir Harry Wildair to support her. I desire Mr. Pinkethman to follow in the habit of a Cardinal, and Mr. Bullock in that of a privy-counsellor. To make up the rest of the appearance, I desire all the ladies from the balconies to weep with Mrs. Barry, as they hope to be wives and widows themselves. I invite all, who have nothing else to do, to accept of gloves and scarves.

Thus, with the great Charles V. of Spain, I resign the glories of this transitory world: Yet, at the same time, to show you my indifference, and that my desires are not too much fixed upon any thing, I own to you, I am as willing to stay as to go therefore leave it in the choice of my gentle readers, whether I shall hear from them, or they hear no more from me."

White's Chocolate-house, April 25.

Easter day being a time when you cannot well meet with any but humble adventures; and there being such a thing as low gallantry, as well as low comedy, Colonel Ramble* and myself went early this morning into the fields, which were strewed with shepherds and shepherdesses, but indeed of a different turn from the simplicity of those of Arca*Probably Colonel Brett.

dia. Every hedge was conscious of more than what the representations of enamoured swains admit of. While we were surveying the crowd around us, we saw at a distance a company coming towards Pancras church; but though there was not much disorder, we thought we saw the figure of a man stuck through with a sword, and at every step ready to fall, if a woman by his side had not supported him; the rest followed two and two. When we came nearer this appearance, who should it be but Monsieur Guardeloop, mine and Ramble's French taylor, attended by others, leading one of Madam Depingle's maids to the church, in order to their espousals. It was his sword tucked so high above his waist, and the circumflex which persons of his profession take in their walking, that made him appear at a distance wounded and falling. But, the morning being rainy, methought the march to this wedding was but too lively a picture of wedlock itself. They seemed both to have a month's mind to make the best of their way single; yet both tugged arm in arm and when they were in a dirty way, he was but deeper in the mire, by endeavouring to pull out his companion, and yet without helping her. The bridegroom's feathers in his hat all drooped; one of his shoes had lost an heel. In short, he was in his whole person and dress so extremely soused, that there did not appear one inch or single thread about him unmarried. Pardon me, that the melancholy obejct still dwells upon me so far, as to reduce me to punning. However, we attended them to the Chapel, where we staid to hear the irrevocable words pronounced upon our old servant, and made the best of our way to town. I took a resolution to forbear all married persons, or any in danger of being such, for four and twenty hours at least; therefore dressed, and went to visit Florimel, the vainest thing in town, where I knew would drop in

colonel Picket, just come from the camp, her professed admirer. He is of that order of men who have much honour and merit, but withal a coxcomb; the other of that set of females, who has innocence

and wit, but the first of coquets. It is easy to

believe, these must be admirers of each other. She says the colonel rides the best of any man in England: The colonel says she talks the best of any woman. At the same time, he understands wit just as she does horsemanship. You are to know, these extraordinary persons see each other daily; and they themselves, as well as the town, think it will be a match: but it can never happen that they can come to the point; for, instead of addressing to each other, they spend their whole time in reports of themselves: he is satisfied if he can convince her he is a fine gentleman, and a man of consequence: and she in appearing to him an accomplished lady and a wit, without further design. Thus he tells her of his manner of posting his men at such a pass, with the numbers he commanded on that detachment: she tells him how she was dressed on such a day at court, and what offers were made her the week following. She seems to hear the repetition of his mens' names with admiration, and waits only to answer him with as false a muster of lovers. They talk to each other, not to be informed, but improved. Thus they are so like, that they are to be ever distant, and the parallel lines may run together for ever, but never meet.

Will's Coffee-house, April 25.

This evening the comedy, called "Epsom Wells," was acted for the benefit of Mr. Bullock, who, thought he is a person of much wit and ingenuity, has a peculiar talent of looking like a fool, and therefore excellently well qualified for the part of Bisket in this play. I cannot indeed sufficiently admire