Ignorance-Opinions-Bon Mot of a Drummer-The Stocks.

Cornucopia.

Ignorance. A country-man paying his first visit to Glasgow, met with particular attention from a friend who accompanied him during the day to the various curiosities of the city. In the ev ening he took him to the theatre. Andrew had never seen a play and had no idea of the sort of entertainment to be got there. They had not been long seated before the curtain rose; and the first scene commenced with the uproar of a domestic squabble. From "words they came to blows," and confusion rioted on the stage. While the battle raged, Andrew very cooly turning to his friend, whispered, "We'd as weel gang hame, for I see naething will be doon here the nicht, as they hae coostin out amang themsel's."

Opinions. One day as Dean Swift was taking an airing on horseback, and reflecting on the great variety of persuasions which were prevalent among Christians, he saw a man breaking stones at some distance, and riding up to him immediately, asked him," Of what opinion are you?" The man answered, "I am of the same opinion as Widow Dawson;"- "And what opinion is that?" rejoined the Dean; "Why," replied the man, "I am owing her half a crown for drink, and she is of opinion I will never pay her, and I am of that opinion too."

Bon Mat of a Drummer.—An Irish soldier who was receiving a punishment at the halberts, a few weeks ago, kept crying to the flogging drummer," Strike higher, strike lower, oh! strike in the middle, my dear!" When the two last lashes were laying on, the drummer looked on the culprit with dryness, and said, "My dear honey, one may strike higher or lower, 'tis the same thingsce, for there's no plasing you!"

The Storks-A merry Hibernian was brought before the magistrates lately at the Town Hallfat Brighton, for drunkenness, and was ordered to pay five shillings or be put in the stocks. Pat, however, remarked that he should never forgive himself if

White Ants-Arts and Sciences-The Clergyman and Councellor.

he chose either, though he had no fear of the first, not having sixpence in the world, and it was not a proper thing for a man in his circumstances to be dabbling in the stocks.

White Ants.-The white ants of India are remarkable for their ravenous appetites :-but a most extraordinary proof of it has lately occurred.-A gentleman writes to his correspondent, "I am sorry to inform you, that the white ants have ate through the chest you left me, and devoured not only the canvass bags, but all the dollars they contained!"

Arts and Sciences.-A swindler of genteel appearance and address, being asked by a foreigner what might be the state of learning in Britain? answered, as to the sciences I can't speak, I only study the arts,

The Clergyman and Counsellor.-At Worcester assizes a cause was tried about the soundness of a horse, in which a cler< gyman appeared as a witness; and a famous blustering counsellor who examined him was at last tempted to exclaim, "Pray, Sir, do you know the difference between a horse and a cow?" "I acknowledge my ignorance, replied the clergyman, I hardly know the difference between a horse and a cow, or a bully and a bull, only that a bull I am told has horns, and a bully (bowing respectfully to the counsellor) luckily for me has none."

Prosperity and Adversity-Characters enervated by prosperity feel the smallest inconvenience as a serious calamity; and unable to bear the touch of rude and violent hands, require to be treated like young and tender flowers, with delicacy and attention; while those who have been educated in the rough school of Adversity, walk over the thorns of life with a firm and intrepid step, and kick them from the path with indifference. Superior to the false opinions and prejudices of the world, they bear with patient fortitude the blow of misfortune, disregard all trifling injuries, and look down with contempt on the malice of their enemies, and the infidelity of their friends.

Censoriouness.-Censoriousness in all its forms and degrees is distinguished by a certain illiberal and contracted disposition

On Scandal-Virtue-Happiness-Pleasures of Life-Miseries of Life.

of mind, as well as keen rancour of spirit, which inclines those who are actuated by it, to judge both the principles and conduct of others from the narrow and limited standard that exists in their own minds, and by a conformity or non-conformity to which, they, with equal weakness, arrogance, and asperity determine at once the worth or depravity of the character and behaviour which comes under their cognizance.

On Scandal. Against slander there is no defence; hell cannot boast so foul a fiend, nor man deplore so fell a foe. It stabs with a word-with a nod-with a shrug—with a lookwith a smile. It is the pestilence walking in darkness, spreading contagion far and wide, which the most weary traveller cannot avoid; it is the heart-searching dagger of the assassin: it is the poisoned arrow, whose wound is incurable; it is as mortal as the sting of the deadly adder; murder is its employmentinnocence its prey—and ruin its sport.

Virtue. Every virtue gives a man a degree of felicity in some kind; honesty gives a man a good report-justice, estimation, prudence, respect, courtesy and liberality, affection; temperance gives health; fortitude, a quiet mind, not to be moved by any adversity.

Happiness.-Where is happiness to be found? where is her dwelling-place? Not where we seek her, and where we expect to find her. Happiness is a modest Recluse, who seldom shews her lovely face in the polite or in the busy world. She is the sister and the companion of religious Wisdom.

Pleasures of Life—An influx of riches, and constant health; a wife who is dear to us; and one who is of kind and gentle speech; a child who is obedient; and useful knowledge, are the six pleasures of life.

Miseries of Life. The peevish, the niggard, the dissipated, the passionate, the suspicious, and those who live upon other's means are ever unhappy.

Monthly Register-A young Mechanical Genius-Execution-Robert Burns.

Monthly Register.

A-YOUNG MECHANICAL GENIUS.

A boy named John Young residing in Newton-upon-Ayr, has constructed a piece of mechanism, of which the following is some account. A box about 3 feet long by 2 broad, and 6 or 8 deep, has a frame and paper covering erected on it in the form of a house, so that the box appears as the floor of the house. On the upper part of the box are a number of wooden figures, about two or three inches high representing people employed in those trades or sciences with which the boy is familiar. The whole are put in motion at the same time by Machinery, within the box, acted upon by a handle like that of a hand organ. A weaver upon his loom with a fly shuttle uses his hands and feet, and keeps his eye upon the shuttle as it passes across the web. A soldier sitting with a sailor at a change-house table, fills a glass, drinks it off, then knocks on the table, upon which an old woman opens a door, makes her appearance, and they retire. Two shoemakers upon their stools are seen, the one beating leather, and the other sewing a shoe. A cloth dresser, a stone cutter, a cooper, a tailor, a woman churning, and one teasing wool are all at work. There is also a joiner sawing a piece of wood, and two blacksmiths beating a piece of iron, the one using a fore-hammer, and the other a small hammer-a boy turning a grindstone, while à man sharps an instrument upon it, and a barber shaving a man, holding fast by the nose with one hand. The boy is only about 17 years of age, and since the bent of his mind could be first marked, his only amusement was his working with a knife, making little mechanical figures; and this is the more extraordinary as he had no opportunity whatever of seeing any person employed in a similar way. He is bred to a weaver with his father, and since he could be employed at his trade, has had no time for his favourite study except after the work ceased, or during the intervals; and the only tool he ever had to assist him was a pocket knife. In his earlier years he produced several curiosities on a simiJar scale, but the above is the greatest work to which he has devoted all his spare time during the last two years.

EXECUTION.

John M‘Niel, alias Boag, was executedat Ayr, on the 28tli day of May, he along with a younger brother was convicted of breaking into several houses in Ayrshire, and stealing several articles, and both were condemned. The younger brother received a respite during his Majesty's pleasure. M'Niel was a native of Glasgow. He behaved since The received sentence, with great propriety, and on the scaffold he

Monthly Register-Robert Burns How to preserve Potatoes.

for a few minutes addressed the multitude in an audible and undaunted manner

ROBERT BURNS.

A public Festival in commemoration of Robert Burns, and to promote a subscription to erect a national monument to his memory at Edinburgh, was celebrated at Freemason's Tavern on the 5th of June. The chair was filled by his Royal Highness the Duke of Sussex, who was supported by Sir James Macintosh, Sir Francis Burdett, the Rev. Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Thomas Moore, Dr. Lindsay, and several other distinguished individuals. The Festival was numerous and respectably attended, and the flow of eloquence and feeling continued almost without interruption to a late hour. Sir James Macintosh informed the meeting that the proposal for erecting this monument originated with some gentlemen in Bombay, who had subscribed liberally, and of whom he spoke in terms of the highest respect. At the conclusion of the business Mr. Forbes Mitchell the Treasurer, announced that the subscription of that day amounted to £256; and the aggregate subscription to £1076, and observed that three times that sum would do the business.

HOW TO PRESERVE POTATOES.

Potatoes may be kept all the year by dipping them in boiling water, as eggs are preserved by killing the living principle; and as the germ is so near the skin it would not hurt the potatoe. One minute or two at most would be quite sufficient. This would be of great use for ship stores. In an open worked basket a ton may be cured in an hour,

TOLLS ABOUT GLASGOW.

One enterprising individual has undertaken for, or connected with the toll-bars to the amount of £15,345, viz Gallowgate, £5780: Shawfield, £2520: Old and New Bridges, £2285: Cowcaddens £1750 and Port-Dundas £1010,

NEW BOOKS.

One Bookseller's house in London paid in the course of the last 12 months, the enormous sum of £4638 for advertising in the Newspa¬ pers alone,

BIRTHS.

June 8th, At Ayr, Mrs. Craufurd of Ardmillan, of a son.

15th, At Ruchill, the lady of Duncan Campbell, Esq. of Barċaldine, of a son.

MARRIAGES.

June 1st, At Eglinton, Mr. Gilbert Kennedy, Stationer, Glas . gow, to Miss Grace, daughter of Mr. William Underwood, Maybole. June 7th, At the Manse of Newton-upon-Ayr, by the Rev. Dr. Chalmers, the Rev. William Rorison, minister of Stair, to Miss Mary, daughter of the Rev. Dr. Peebles.