have juft Room for being difobliged, and may turn my Panegyrick into a Libel. But to carry this Affair ftill more Home, were it granted that Praifes in Dedications were proper Topicks, What is it that gives a Man Authority to commend, or what makes it a Favour to me that he does commend me? It is certain, that there is no Praise valuable but from the Praife-worthy. Were it otherwife, Blame might be as much in the fame Hands. Were the Good and Evil of Fame laid upon a Level among Mankind, the Judge of the Bench, and the Criminal at the Bar, would differ only in their Stati ons; and if one's Word is to pafs as much as the other's, their Reputation would be much alike to the Jury. Pliny fpeaking of the Death of Martial, expreffes himself with great Gratitude to him for the Honours done him in the Writings of that Author; but he begins it with an Account of his Character, which only made the Applaufe valuable. He indeed in the fame Epiftle fays, It is a Sign we have left off doing Things which deferve Praise, when we think Commendation impertinent. This is afferted with a juft Regard to the Perfons whofe good Opinion we wish for; otherwise Reputation would be valued according to the Number of Voices a Man has for it, which are not always to be infured on the moft virtuous Side. But however we pretend to model thefe nice Affairs, true Glory will never attend any Thing but Truth; and there is fomething fo peculiar in it, that the very felf-fame Action done by different Men cannot merit the fame Degree of Applaufe. The Roman, who was furpriz'd in the Enemy's Camp before he had accomplished his Defign, and thruft his bare Arm into a flaming Pile, telling the General, There were many as determined as himself, who (againft Senfe of Danger) had confpir'd hisDeath wrought in the very Enemy an Admiration of his For titude, and a Difmiffion with Applause. But the condemned Slave who reprefented him in the Theatre, and confumed his Arm in the fame Manner, with the fame Refolution, did not raife in the Spectators à great Idea of his Virtue, but of whom he imitated in an Action no Way differing from that of the real Scavola, but in the Motive to it,

THUS

THUS true Glory is infeparable from true Merit, and whatever you call Men, they are no more than what they are in themselves; but a Romantick Senfe has crept into the Minds of the Generality, who will ever mistake Words and Appearances for Perfons and Things.

THE Simplicity of the Ancients was as confpicuous in the Addrefs of their Writings, as in any other Monuments they have left behind them. Cafar and Auguftus were much more high Words of Refpect, when added to Occafions fit for their Characters to appear in, than any Appellations which have ever been fince thought of. The latter of thefe great Men had a very pleafant Way of dealing with Applications of this Kind. When he received Pieces of Poetry which he thought had Worth in them, he rewarded the Writer; but where he thought them empty, he generally returned the Compliment made him with fome Verfes of his own.

THIS latter Method I have at present Occafion tô imitate. A Female Author has dedicated a Piece to me, wherein fhe would make my Name (as fhe has others) the Introduction of whatever is to follow in her Book; and has spoke fome panegyrical Things which I know not how to return, for Want of better Acquaintance with the Lady, and confequently being out of a Capacity of giving her Praife or Blame. All therefore, that is left for me, according to the foregoing Rules, is to lay the Picture of a good and evil Woman before her Eyes, which are but meer Words if they do not concern her. Now you are to obferve, the Way in a Dedication is to make all the rest of the World as little like the Perfon we addrefs to as poffible, according to the following Epiftle:

MADAM,
But, M.

-Memorabile nullum,
Fæminea in pœna eft.-

Tuesday,

No 178.

Tuesday, May 30. 1710.

Sheer-Lane, May 29.

HEN we look into the delightful History of

W the molt ingenious Don Quixore of the Mancha,

He

and confider the Exercises and Manner of Life of that renowned Gentleman, we cannot but admire the exquifite Genius and difcerning Spirit of Michael Cervan tes, who has not only painted his Adventurer with great Mastery in the confpicuous Parts of his Story, which relate to Love and Honour, but also intimated in his ordinary Life, Oeconomy and Furniture, the infallible Symptoms he gave of his growing Phrenfy, before he declared himself a Knight-Errant. His Hall was furnished with old Launces, Halbards, and Morrions; his Food, Lentills; his Drefs, amorous. flept moderately, rofe early, and fpent his Time in Hunting. When by Watchfulness and Exercife he was thus qualified for the Hardfhips of his intended Peregrinations, he had nothing more to do but to fall hard to Study; and before he fhould apply himself to the practical Part, get into the Methods of making Love and War by reading Books of Knighthood. As for railing tender Paffion in him, Cervantes reports, That he was wonderfully delighted with a smooth intricate Sentence; and when they liftened at his Study-Door, they could frequently hear him read aloud, The Reafon of the Unreasonableness, which against my Reason is wrought, doth fo weaken my Reason, as with all Reafon 1 do juftly complain of your Beauty. Again, he would paule till he came to another charming Sentence, and with the most pleafing Accent imaginable be loud at a new Paragraph: The high Heavens, which, with your Divinity, do fortify you divinely with the Stars, make you

De

Deferverefs of the Deferts that your Greatness deferves. With thefe and other fuch Paffages (fays my Author) the poor Gentleman grew distracted, and was breaking his Brains Day and Night to understand and unravel their Senfe.

As much as the Cafe of this distempered Knight is received by all the Readers of his Hiftory as the moft incurable and ridiculous of all Phrenfies, it is very.certain we have Crowds among us far gone in as visible a Madness as his, though they are not obferved to be in that Condition. As great and useful Discoveries are fometimes made by accidental and fmall Beginnings, I came to the Knowledge of the moft Epidemick Ill of this Sort, by falling into aCoffee-houfe where I faw my Friend the Upholsterer, whofe Crack towards Politicks I have heretofore mentioned. This Touch in the Brain of the British Subject, is as certainly owing to the reading News-Papers, as that of the Spanish Worthy abovementioned to the reading Works of Chivalry. My Cotemporaries the Novelifts have, for the better fpinning out Paragraphs, and working down to the End of their Columns, a moft happy Art in saying and unfaying, givingHints of Intelligence,and Interpretations of indifferent Actions, to the great Disturbance of the Brains of ordinary Readers. This Way of going on in the Words, and making no Progrefs in the Senfe, is more particularly the Excellency of my most ingenious and renowned Fellow-Labourer, the Poft-Man; and it is to this Talent in him that I impute the Lofs of my Upholsterer's Intellects. That unfortunate Tradesman has for Years paft been the chief Orator in ragged Affemblies, and the Reader in Alley-Coffee-houfes. He was Yesterday furrounded by an Audience of that Sort, among whom 1 fat unobferved through the Favour of a Cloud of Tobacco, and faw him with the Poft-Man in his Hand, and all the other Papers fafe under his Elbow. He was intermixing Remarks, and reading the Paris Article of May 30. which fays, That it is given out that an Express arrived this Day with Advice,that the Armies were fo near in the Plain of Lens, that they cannonaded each other. (Ay, ay, here we shall have Sport) And that it was highly probable the next Express

would

་

would bring us an Account of an Engagement. (They are welcome as foon as they pleafe.) Though fome others fay, That the fame will be put off till the ad or 3d of June, because the Marshal Villars expects fome further Reinforcements from Germany, and other Parts before that Time. What-a-Box does he put it off for? Does he think our Horse is not marching up at the fame Time? But let us fee what he fays further. They hope that Monfieur Albergotti, being encouraged by the Prefence of fo great: an Army, will make an extraordinary Defence. Why then I find, Albergotti is one of thofe that love to have a great many on their Side. Nay, I'll fay that for this Paper, he makes the most natural Inferences of any of them all. The Elector of Bavaria being uneafy to be with out any Command, has defired Leave to come to Court to communicate a certain Project to his Majesty.Whatever it be, it is said, that Prince is fuddenly expected, and then we shall have a more certain Account of his Project, if this Report has any Foundation. Nay, this Paper never impoles upon us, he goes upon fure. Grounds; for he won't be pofitive the Elector has a Project, or that he will come, or if he does come at all; for he doubts, you fee, whether the Report has any Foundation.

WHAT ́makes this the more lamentable, is, that this Way of Writing falls in with the Imagination of the cooler and duller Part of her Majefty's Sabjects. The being kept up with one Line contradicting ano ther, and the whole, after many Sentences of Conject ure, vanifhing ima Doubt whether there is any Thing at all in what the Perfon has been readingy puts an ordinary Head into a Vertigo, which his natural Dulness would have fecured him from. Next to the Labours of the Poft Man, the Upholsterer took from under his Elbow honeft Icabod Dawks's Letter, and there, among other Speculations, the Hiftorian takes upon him to fay, That it is difcourfed that there will be a Battle in Flan ders before the Armies feparate, and many will have it to be to Morrow, the great Battle of Ramelies being fought on a Whitfunday? A Gentleman who was a Wag in this Company/laughed at the Expreffion, and faid, By Mr. Dawks's Favour, I warrant ye, if we meet them on Whitsunday or Monday we shall not ftand upon the Day VOL. III.

N

with

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