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No. 526. Spectacles of Folly in our Streets: I say, two or three Monday, Touches with your own Pen; for I have really observed, Nov, 3, Mr. SPEC., that those Spectators which are so prettily 1712. laced down the Sides with little c's, how instructive so ever they may be, do not carry with them that Authority as the others. I do again therefore desire, that, for the sake of their dear Necks, you would bestow one Penful of your own Ink upon them. I know you are loth to expose them; and it is, I must confess, a thousand pities that any young Gentleman, who is come of honest Parents, should be brought to publick Shame: And in deed I should be glad to have them handled a little tenderly at the first; but if fair Means will not prevail, there is then no other Way to reclaim them, but by mak ing Use of some wholesome Severities; and I think it is better that a Dozen or two of such good-for-nothing Fellows should be made Examples of, than that the Re putation of some Hundreds of as hopeful young Gentle men as my self should suffer thro' their Folly, is not, however, for me to direct you what to do; but, in short, if our Coachmen will drive on this Trade, the very first of them that I do find meditating in the Street, I shall make bold to take the Number of his Chambers, together with a Note of his Name, and dispatch them to you, that you may chastise him at your own Discretion I am, Dear SPEC,

For ever Yours,

It

Moses Greenbag, Esq, if you please.

P. S. Tom Hammercloth, one of our Coachmen, is now pleading at the Bar at the other End of the Room, but has a little too much Vehemence, and throws out his Arms too much to take his Audience with a good Grace,'

To my Loving and Well-beloved John Sly, Haberdasher of Hats, and Tobacconist, between the Cities of London and Westminster,

Whereas frequent Disorders, Affronts, Indignities, Omissions, and Trespasses, for which there are no Remedies

by

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by any Form of Law, but which apparently disturb and No. 526. disquiet the Minds of Men, happen near the Place of your Monday, Residence; and that you are, as well by your commodious Nov. 3, Situation as the good Parts with which you are endowed, properly qualified for the Observation of the said Offences; I do hereby authorize and depute you, from the Hours of Nine in the Morning till four in the Afternoon, to keep a strict Eye upon all Persons and Things that are conveyed in Coaches, carried in Carts, or walk on Foot from the City of London to the City of Westminster, or from the City of Westminster to the City of London, within the said Hours. You are therefore not to depart from your Observatory at the End of Devereux-Court during the said Space of each Day; but to observe the Behaviour of all Persons who are suddenly transported from stamping on Pebbles to sit at Ease in Chariots, what Notice they take of their Foot-Acquaintance, and send me the speediest Advice, when they are guilty of over looking, turning from, or appearing grave and distant to their old Friends, When Man and Wife are in the same Coach, you are to see whether they appear pleased or tired with each other, and whether they carry the due Mein in the Eye of the World between Fondness and Coldness. You are carefully to behold all such as shall have Addition of Honour or Riches, and report whether they preserve the Countenance they had before such Addition. As to Persons on Foot, you are to be attentive whether they are pleased with their Condition, and are dress'd suitable to it; but especially to distinguish such as appear discreet, by a low-heeled Shooe, with the decent Órnament of a Leather-Garter. To write down the Names of such Country Gentlemen as, upon the Ap proach of Peace, have left the Hunting for the Military Cock of the Hat: Of all who strut, make a Noise, and swear at the Drivers of Coaches to make Haste, when they see it impossible they should pass: Of all young Gentlemen in Coach-Boxes, who labour at a Perfection in what they are sure to be excelled by the meanest of the People. You are to do all that in you lies, that Coaches and Passengers give Way according to the Course of Business, all the Morning in Term Time towards West

minster

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No. 526. minster, the rest of the Year towards the Exchange.
Monday, Upon these Directions, together with other secret Articles
Nov. 3,
herein inclosed, you are to govern your self, and give
Advertisement thereof to me at all convenient and spec
tatorial Hours when Men of Business are to be seen,
Hereof you are not to fail. Given under my Seal of
Office.
The SPECTATOR,

T

No. 527.

Tuesday, November 4,

Facile invenies et perjorem et pejus moratam,
meliorem neque tu reperies neque sol videt.
-Plautus in Sticho

...

I AM of which concerns

AM so tender of my Women-Readers, that I cannot defer the Publication of any thing which concerns their Happiness or Quiet. The Repose of a married Woman is consulted in the first of the following Letters, and the Felicity of a Maiden Lady in the second. I call it a Felicity to have the Addresses of an agreeable Man; and I think I have not any where seen a prettier Application of a Poetical Story than that of his, in making the Tale of Cephalus and Procris the History-Picture of a Fan in so gallant a Manner as he addresses it. But see the Letters,

'Mr. SPECTATOR,

'Tis now almost three Months since I was in Town about some Business; and the Hurry of it being over, took Coach one Afternoon, and drove to see a Relation, who married about six Years ago a wealthy Citizen. I found her at Home, but her Husband gone to the Ex change, and expected back within an Hour at the farthest. After the usual Salutations of Kindness, and a hundred Questions about Friends in the Country, we sate_down to Picquet, played two or three Games, and drank Tea. I should have told you that this was my second Time of seeing her since her Marriage, but before she lived at the same Town where I went to School; so that the Plea of Relation, added to the Innocence of my Youth, prevailed upon her good Humour to indulge me in a freedom

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freedom of Conversation as often, and oftner, than the No. 527. strict Discipline of the School would allow of. You may Tuesday, easily imagine after such an Acquaintance we might be Nov. 4. exceeding merry without any Offence, as in calling to Mind how many Inventions I had been put to in delud ing the Master, how many Hands forged for Excuses, how many Times been sick in perfect Health; for I was then never sick but at School, and only then because out of her Company, We had whiled away three Hours after this Manner, when I found it past Five; and not expecting her Husband would return till late, rose up, told her I should go early next Morning for the Country She kindly answered, she was afraid it would be long before she saw me again; so I took my leave and parted. Now, Sir, I had not been got home a Fortnight, when I re ceived a Letter from a Neighbour of theirs, That ever since that fatal Afternoon the Lady had been most inhumanly treated, and the Husband publickly stormed that he was made a Member of too numerous a Society. He had, it seems, listened most of the Time my Cousin and I were together. As jealous Ears always hear double, so he heard enough to make him mad; and as jealous Eyes always see thro' Magnifying Glasses, so he was certain it could not be I whom he had seen, a beardless Stripling, but fancied he saw a gay Gentleman of the Temple, ten Years older than my self, and for that Reason, I presume, durst not come in, nor take any Notice when I went out. He is perpetually asking his Wife if she does not think the Time long (as she said she should) till she sees her Cousin again. Pray, Sir, what can be done in this Case? I have writ to him to assure him I was at his House all that Afternoon expecting to see him: His Answer is, 'tis only a Trick of hers, and that he neither can nor will believe me. The parting Kiss I find mightily nettles him, and confirms him in all his Errors. Ben. Johnson, as I remember, makes a Foreigner, in one of his Comedies, admire the desperate Valour of the bold English, who let out their Wives to all Encounters. The general Custom of Salutation should excuse the Favour done me, or you should lay down Rules when such Distinctions are to be given or omitted. You cannot imagine, Sir, how troubled

Nov. 4,

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No. 527. troubled I am for this unhappy Lady's Misfortune; and Tuesday, beg you would insert this Letter, that the Husband may reflect upon this Accident coolly, It is no small Matter, the Ease of a virtuous Woman for her whole Life: I know she will conform to any Regularities (tho' more strict than the common Rules of our Country require) to which his particular Temper shall incline him to oblige her. This Accident puts me in Mind how generously Pisistratus the Athenian Tyrant behaved himself on a like Occasion, when he was instigated by his Wife to put to Death a young Gentleman, because, being passionately fond of his Daughter, he kiss'd her in Publick, as he met her in the Street; What (said he) shall we do to those who are our Enemies, if we do thus to those who are our Friends? I will not trouble you much longer, but am exceedingly concerned lest this Accident may cause a virtuous Lady to lead a miserable Life with a Husband, who has no grounds for his Jealousie but what I have faithfully related, and ought to be reckoned none. 'Tis to be feared too, if at last he sees his Mistake, yet People will be as slow and unwilling in dis believing Scandal as they are quick and forward in believing it. I shall endeavour to enliven this plain, honest Letter, with Ovid's Relation about Cybele's Image, The Ship wherein it was aboard was stranded at the Mouth of the Tiber, and the Men were unable to move it, till Claudia, a Virgin, but suspected of Unchastity, by a slight Pull hawled it in. The Story is told in the 4th book of the Fastí.

Parent of Gods, began the weeping Fair,
Reward or punish, but oh! hear my Pray'r
If Lewdness e'er defil'd my Virgin Bloom,
From Heav'n with Justice I receive my Doom
But if my Honour yet has known no Stain,
Thou, Goddess, thou my Innocence maintain:
Thou, whom the nicest Rules of Goodness sway'd,
Vouchsafe to follow an unblemish'd Maid.
She spoke, and touch'd the Cord with glad Surprize,
(The Truth was witness'd by ten thousand Eyes)
The pitying Goddess easily comply'd,
Follow'd in Triumph, and adorn'd her Guide
While Claudia, blushing still for past Disgrace,
March'd silent on with a slow solemn Pace:

Nor

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