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Insnarers, who are almost twice her Age. The Air that No. 492. she takes is to come into Company after Walk, and is Wednesvery successfully out of Breath upon Occasion. Her day, Mother is in the Secret, and calls her Romp, and then looks 1712.
Sept. 24, round to see what young Men stare at her.
It would take up more than can come into one of your Papers, to enumerate all the particular Airs of the younger Company in this place. But I cannot omit Dulceorella, whose Manner is the most indolent imaginable, but still as watchful of Conquest as the busiest Virgin among us. She has a peculiar Art of staring at a young Fellow, 'till she sees she has got him, and inflamed him by so much Observation. When she sees she has him, and he begins to toss his Head upon it, she is immediately short-sighted, and labours to observe what he is at a Distance with her Eyes half shut. Thus the Captive that thought her first struck, is to make very near Approaches, or be wholly disregarded. This Artifice has done more Execution than all the Ogling of the rest of the Women here, with the utmost Variety of half Glances, attentive Heedlessnesses, childish Inadvertencies, haughty Contempts, or artificial Oversights. After I have said thus much of Ladies among us who fight thus regularly, I am to complain to you of a Set of familiar Romps, who have broken through all common Rules, and have thought of a very effectual Way of shewing more Charms than all of us. These, Mr. SPECTATOR, are the Swingers. You are to know these careless pretty Creatures are very Innocents again ; and it is to be no Matter what they do, for 'tis all harmless Freedom. They get on Ropes, as you must have seen the Children, and are swung by their Men Visitants. The Jest is, that Mr. Suchrarone can name the Colour of Mrs. Such-a-one's stockings, and she tells him, he is a lying Thief, so he is, and full of Roguery, and she'll lay a Wager, and her Sister shall tell the Truth if he says right, and he can't tell what Colour her Garters are of. In this Diversion there are very many pretty Shrieks, not so much for fear of falling, as that their Petticoats should unty: For there is a great Care had to avoid Improprieties; and the Lover who swings the Lady, is to tye her Cloaths very close with his Hatband before she admits him to throw up her Heels.
Now, Mr SPECTATOR, except you can note these Wantonnesses in their Beginnings, and bring us sober Girls into Observation, there is no Help for it, we must swim with the Tide, the Cocquets are too powerful a Party for us. To look into the Merit of a regular and well-behaved Woman, is a slow Thing: A loose trivial Song gains the Affec
ons, when a wise Homily is not attended to. There is no other Way but to make War upon them, or we must go over to them. As for my Part, I will show all the World it is not for Want of Charms that I stand so long unasked ; and if you
do not take Measures for the im mediate Redress of us Rigids, as the Fellows calls us, I can move with a speaking Mein, can look significantly, can lisp, can trip, can loll
, can start, can blush, can rage, can weep, if I must do it, and can be frighted, as agreeably as any She in England. All which is humbly submitted to your spectatorial Consideration with all Humility, by
Your most humble Servant
Thursday, September 25.
lacutiant aliena tibi peccata pudorem.--Hor. ITlis no unpleasant Matter of Speculation to consider Town from Hand to Hand, and the Abuse People put upon one another in that Kind. It is indeed come to that Pass, that instead of being the Testimony of Merit in the Person recommended, the true Reading of a Letter of this Sort is, The Bearer hereof is so uneasie to me, that it will be an Act of Charity in you to take him off my Hands, whether you prefer him or not it is all one, for I have no Manner of Kindness for him, or Obligation to him or his, and do what you please as to that. As negligent as Men are in this Respect, a Point of Honour is concerned in it, and there is Nothing a Man should be more ashamed of, than passing a worthless Creature into the Service or Interests of a Man who has never injured you. The Women indeed are a little too keen in
their Resentments, to trespass often this Way: But you No. 493. shall sometimes know that the Mistress and the Maid Thursday, shall quarrel, and give each other very free Language, and Sept. 25, at last the Lady shall be pacified to turn her out of Doors, and give her a very good Word to any Body else. Hence it is that you see, in a year and half's Time, the same Face a Domestick in all parts of the Town. Good-breed ing and Good-nature lead People in a great Measure to this Injustice: When Suitors of no Consideration will have Confidence enough to press upon their Superiors, those in Power are tender of speaking the exceptions they have against them, and are mortgaged into Promises out of their Impatience of Importunity. In this latter Case, it would be a very useful Enquiry to know the History of Recommendations. There are, you must know, certain Abettors of this Way of Torment who make it a Profession to manage the Affairs of Candidates: These Gentlemen let out their Impudence to their clients, and supply any defective Recommendation, by informing how such and such a Man is to be attacked. They will tell you, get the least Scrap from Mr. such a one, and leave the Rest to them. When one of these Undertakers have your Business in Hand, you may be sick, absent, in Town or Country, and the Patron shall be worryed, or you prevail. I remember to have been shewn a Gentle man, some Years ago, who punish'd a whole People for their Facility in giving their Credentials. This Person had belonged to a Regiment which did Duty in the West Indies, and by the Mortality of the Place happened to be commanding Officer in the Colony. He oppressed his Subjects with great Frankness till he became sensible that he was heartily hated by every Man under his Command. When he had carried his Point, to be thus detestable, in a pretended Fit of Dishumour, and feigned Uneasiness of living where he found he was so universally unacceptable, he communicated to the chief Inhabitants a Design he had to return for England, provided they would give him ample Testimonials of their Approbation, The Planters came into it to a Man, and in Proportion to his deserving the quite contrary, the Words justice, Gener osity, and Courage were inserted in his Commission, not
No. 493. omitting the general Good-liking of People of all Con-
England, and within few Months after came back to
Such a Rebuke as this cannot indeed happen to easy Recommenders, in the ordinary Course of Things from one Hand to another ; but how would a Man bear to have it said to him, The Person I took into Confidence on the Credit you gave him, has proved false, unjust, and has not answered any Way the Character you gave me of him,
I cannot but conceive very good Hopes of that Rake Jack Toper of the Temple, for an honest Scrupulousness in this Point. A Friend of his meeting with a Servant that had formerly lived with Jack, and having a Mind to take him, sent to him to know what Faults the Fellow had, since he could not please such a careless Fellow as he was. His answer was as follows.
Thomas that lived with me was turned
because he was too good for me, You know I live in Taverns ; he is an orderly sober Rascal, and thinks much to sleep in an Entry 'till Two in a Morning. He told me one Day when he was dressing me, that he wondered I was not dead before now, since I went to Dinner in the Evening, and went to Supper at two in the Morning. We were coming down Essex street one Night a little flustered, and I was giving him the Word to alarm the Watch; he had the Impudence to tell me it was against the Law. You that are Married, and live one Day after another the same Way, and so on the whole Week, I dare say will like him, and he will be glad to have his Meat in due Season: The Fellow is certainly very Honest. My Service to your Lady.
Yours, J. T' Now this was very fair Dealing. Jack knew very well, that tho' the Love of Order made a Man very aukward in his Equipage, it was a valuable Quality among the queer
People who live by Rule ; and had too much good Sense No. 493. and good Nature to let the Fellow starve, because he was Thursday, not fit to attend his Vivacities.
1712. I shall end this Discourse with a Letter of Recom mendation from Horace to Claudius Nero. You will see, in that Letter, a slowness to ask a Favour, a strong Reason for being unable to deny his good Word any longer, and that it is a Service to the Person to whom he recommends, to comply with what is asked: All which are necessary Circumstances, both in Justice and Good-breeding, if a Man would ask so as to have Reason to complain of a Denial; and indeed a Man should not in Strictness ask otherwise. In hopes the Authority of Horace, who pero fectly understood how to live with great Men, may have a good Effect towards amending this Facility in People of Condition, and the Confidence of those who apply to them without Merit, I have translated the Epistle.
Septimius, who waits upon you with this, is very well acquainted with the Place you are pleased to allow me in your Friendship. For when he beseeches me to recommend him to your Notice, in such a Manner as to be received by you, who are delicate in the Choice of your Friends and Domesticks, he knows our Intimacy, and understands my Ability to serve him better than I do my self. I have defended my self against his Ambition to be yours as long as I possibly could; but fearing the Imputation of hiding my Power in you out of mean and selfish Considerations, I am at last prevailed upon to give you this Trouble. Thus, to avoid the Appearance of a greater Fault, I have put on this Confidence. If you can forgive this Transgression of Modesty in behalf of a Friend, receive this Gentleman into your Interests and Friend ship, and take it from me that he is an Honest and a Brave Man'