however, allowed to undertake this. It was seldom that I withdrew from meditation without our Lord having told me interiorily that I was to be His spouse. This strengthened my resolution of becoming a nun, and made me more and more desirous of accomplishing my purpose. Whenever any particular feast occurred, I felt as it were a flame within my heart, which gave new life to my whole being. I could not rest, but ran continually about the house like one deranged, so that I sometimes made those who saw me smile. I found my chief delight in dressing little altars; and though I could not do this so conveniently in my uncle's house, I did not altogether lay aside the practice. For work I had no great genius; notwithstanding which, I managed to get through as much in an hour as another person in a day. I did not regret the circumstance of being taught nothing, for whatever I saw others do, I had courage to attempt myself. I was a perfect cross to every one; and yet I know not how it came to pass, they were all fond of me, and showed great partiality for me. Sometimes I reflected on this treatment, which caused me extreme surprise. No one scolded me, although my delinquencies were numberless. I was by nature passionate; every trifle excited me to irritation, and if it was a serious annoyance which befell me, I stamped on the ground like a horse; all which, believe me, was downright naughtiness, for I had never any sufficient ground for provocation. Frequently I took it into my head to wish earnestly for a thing, being desirous that matters should turn out according to my fancy. I felt interiorily warned to mortify myself, but, alas! I did not listen to this voice. It seemed to me that when I set myself to

meditate, our Lord taught me what was His Will concerning me; but I thought this might be merely my imagination; however, I continued to feel what I have described. Much good arose out of this ; I began to accustom myself to silence, which I found conducive to recollection; and whereas I had previously paid little attention to mortification, I was now led to practise it habitually. Thus by degrees my thirst after sufferings increased yet more and more. I often rose in the night and made a little meditation. My attention was fixed to a certain degree, but I did not think myself thoroughly recollected. In this manner passed the two last years which I spent in the world; they were the fourteenth and fifteenth of my age. I was subject at that period to many vain things, and they often afforded me a certain sort of satisfaction; but at the very moment of so yielding I felt the reproving whisper of conscience, which left me no peace until I had commenced the task of getting rid of my follies."

Such were the first beginnings of those high gifts of prayer and contemplation to which, as we shall see, she subsequently attained in religion. But let it not be supposed that such exercises were always pleasing and delightful entertainments to her soul. "God only knows what I have endured," she says, while describing the cruel temptations and difficulties, besides the darkness of mind and dryness of affections which she had often to encounter, but which she at length vanquished, triumphing over every obstacle by the force of holy perseverance.

CHAPTER V.

THE RICH FRUIT WHICH SHE GATHERED FROM THE EXERCISE OF MEDITATION. THE FIRST INSTANCES OF OPPOSITION TO HER RELIGIOUS VOCATION WHICH SHE HAD TO ENCOUNTER AT PIACENZA.

WE have already seen in the account which she gives us of herself some of the advantages which our Saint derived from the practice of mental prayer, but still greater ones will be related in the present chapter. First, we may remark her increased desire for sufferings, a disposition which constitutes the surest foundation for true virtue; and with this was combined still greater fervour at her communions. "The more I persevered in meditation " (it is thus she writes of herself at the age of fourteen) "the greater became my wish to suffer; and as my confessor would not grant me penances, I knew not what to do. However, I renewed my entreaties, and he yielded to my importunity, permitting me to use hair-cloth and the discipline three times a week. This I accordingly did, but it appeared to me a mere nothing. On my communion-days I could not contain myself for joy; it seemed to me that I then heard an interior voice, which said, 'Behold, here I am with thee.' I felt that these were the words of our Lord, for they caused me to pass as it were from a state of death to one of life, and enkindled such a fire within me that I was sometimes asked what was the matter with me. Still I took pains to conceal what passed within me."

But the most satisfactory evidence of her graces is afforded by the uncommon strength of mind by which she was enabled to repel and subdue the attacks of her spiritual enemies on many occasions which were fraught with danger to her innocence. It must be observed that the arrangements of the house were very different during her mother's lifetime, and after her death. Her mother had been to the last so desirous of giving her young daughters a good and careful education, that she always kept them in a kind of monastic seclusion. Their days were passed in retirement, amid industrious occupations and devout exercises. But after her death, though the father of our Ursulina, then in her fifth year, was also pious, the same strict supervision was no longer exercised over the establishment. And unfortunately, when the family removed to Piacenza, the smiles of fortune and the pomp of wealth which his new position enabled him to enjoy in that illustrious city, induced him to desire that his daughters should share in his elevation. It is beautiful to observe the candid and yet humble manner in which Ursula speaks of this event. "As soon as we arrived there," she says, speaking of Piacenza, "my father gave orders that we should be dressed in a style suitable to his rank: he provided us also with men-servants and maid-servants. You can imagine my astonishment at the sight of so much splendour, for we had been accustomed to live in a plain way, and had never been treated like great ladies before. Still it was necessary to acquiesce in this change, and in fact I found it pleasant to do so." The evil one, however, who is ever on the watch to let no occasion slip of doing us harm, one day

laid a snare for Ursula. The young ladies having been left in the charge of thoughtless and mercenary attendants, a maid suggested to our Saint, who was now about fourteen years old, that she should go into a garden close at hand, in order to gather certain herbs for the kitchen. Ursula objected strongly, because there was a narrow lane leading to this place through which she did not like to walk alone. But, as the indiscreet domestic continued to press the matter, promising to keep her eye on her young mistress from the window, Ursula at length made the sign of the cross, and invoking her guardian angel as she was in the habit of doing, left the house. She had scarcely set foot out of doors, when she beheld a profligate youth behaving improperly to a girl no less ill-conducted than himself. The innocent Ursula was shocked, and rebuked them sharply; but they only laughed at her, calling her "a scrupulous fool," and threatening to beat her. She went on, however, to the garden, whence she returned some time after with the herbs, when she saw the same scene being enacted in the same spot; she therefore hurried home, and, as she stood on the threshold, said to herself, "It must surely be the devil." Looking back into the lane, she could see no one, neither had the maid seen any one from the window. Some years after, she was informed by God in a vision, that the wretches she had seen were two demons, who wished, by means of wicked example, to destroy her virtue, which would have failed if her heart had not been armed by the practice of meditation and by special protection from above.

She had to sustain a still severer trial at the hands