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of these numbers now, old and worn and frayed by OUR OWN VIVANDIÈRE.
many a strong hand brought low by the Russian bullet or pestilence. It shared the high popularity of the Illustrated London News, and reinembering these old times, it stirs the heart of MOTHER SEACOLE like the sound of the old war-cry she may never bear again, to find her poor name noticed in the columns which cheered on England to a poblo contest.
"And more than this. MOTHER SEACols in this, her senson of want-for the Peace which brought blessings to 50 many ruined her-feels that the notice of her good son Punch brings sunshine into the poor little room-not quite a garret yet, thank God, she has one more weary story to climb before her pallet rests do near the sky-to which she is reduced.
"Not that the army's mother murmure at her lot. She knows that she is not Aung aside like-like some of the brave men for whose blood there is no further need; and she believes there will yet be work for her to do somewhere. Perhaps in China, perhaps on some other distant shore to which English men go to serve their country. there may be woman's work to do—and for that work if her good son Punch will cheer her on old MOTHER SEACOLE has a beart and hands left yet." "14, Soho Square, May, 8, 1857."
It will be evident, from the foregoing, that MOTHER SEACOLE has sunk much lower in the world, and is also in danger of rising much higher in it, than is consistent with the honour of the British army, and the generosity of the British public. Both will be disgraced if Mother SEACOLE, by reason of declining circumstances, should have to ascend into a garret. Although she has a heart and hands left yet to help herself
, in case of opportunity, the opportunity may never arrive; in the meanwhile, has England no heart left to help her ? Hands England has plenty to help her, if there are any hearts to move them, and put them into pockets containing more money than the proprietors thereof know how to employ for any
praiseworthy purpose. Who would give a guinea MR. Puncu begs to lay before his innumerable readers the following letter. It will no to see a mimic sutler-woman, and a foreigner, doubt be remarked that the writer says many more than two words for him, and hardly frisk and amble about the stage, when he might' one for herself; but Mr. Punch does not omit the former, because they are inseparably bestow the money on a genuine English one, linked with the latter :
reduced to a twopair back, and in imminent " MOTHER SEACOLE loves to acknowledge the kindness shown her by her sons, whether in black or red danger of being obliged to climb into an attic ? coats, and hastens to assure Punch that she has long felt a mother's affection for him. For she remembers a time when a word of cheer and encouragement from home broke like a ray of golden sunlight through the gloom of a suffering army, and that word Punch never failed to give her soldier sons. Nor bas she forgotten how-as she walked through the wards of the hospital at Spring Hill, her arms laden with papers, the con
Paddy's BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, Ay) tributions of kind officers to their sick men, the sufferers would plead for a glimpse of Punch, which seldom failed to have a heart-stirring piece of poetry or a noble sketch in appreciation of their struggles. She has some SUPPER. —" Semper Praties.”
upon which Dr. HAMILTON, BISHOP OF SALISBURY, based his oppoPUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
sition to the bill; namely, that people, if they were Christians, were
bound to forgive one another all offences whatsoever. Where does May 18, Monday. The Queen sent a message to Parliament to say this priest come from? He has clearly fallen upon the wrong age. that her eldest daughter was engaged, and suggesting that something Such a doctrine might be all very well in the early days of Christianity, should be done to set up the young couple. Parliament received the when its professors had to set examples to the heathen, or it might message very affably, and, at the end of the week, with
all sorts of do for some outlandish place, where society has no claims upon one; kind speeches, gave the bride £40,000 down, and £8,000 a-year for but it is perfectly preposterous if advanced as a rule for our conduct what Mr. Punch trusts will be a long and happy life.
in these times. We had fancied that Bishops were men of this world, The LORD CHANCELLOR
introduced, once more, the Bill for reform- but Dr. HAMILTON is a painful exception, and if he would exchange ng the system of proving Wills. The proctors are not to be compen: the See of Salisbury for some missionary station in a distant country, sated, but are to have the right of exclusive practice in the new will his order would cease to suffer by his ridiculous teaching. Mr. Punch courts. These astute gentlemen will not materially suffer by the was happy to see that the first law officer of the Crown sanctioned no change-where there's a Will there's a way for a proctor to pocket such Arcadian nonsense, and though “not pretending to interpret pickings. People are to be allowed to send their wills to an office Scripture,” declared that it was not possible for a husband really to in London, to be taken care of until wanted, so that from and after the pardon an erring wife. Some of the Lords, lay and clerical, were passing of the Act a discouragement will be given to the novelist or very emphatic against facilitating divorce, on the curious ground that dramatist, who is always finding wills in old clocks, in secret drawers, if you enabled a man to get rid of a bad wife you taught him to hold behind looking-glasses, in cast-off boots, and other places where safety the sacredness of the marriage tie in light esteem. "The DUKE OP is not so much an object as mystifying one's family and creating a NORFOLK, as a Catholic, contended that marriage was indissoluble, "situation.” COLONEL North pitched into Wiscount Williams for vilifying the Catholic Emancipation-we set these people free, and they seek ty
and gave notice that he should try to shelve the bill. This comes oi Army, which the noble Wiscount denied having done; but proceeded impose chains on us. If his Grace carries his motion, Mr. Punch to accuse military men generally of trying to impose heavy expenses on means to petition for a repeal of the act of '29. The ARCHBISHOH the nation, for the purpose of promoting their own interests. To the OF CANTERBURY and the BISHOP OF LONDON voted for reform, and pachydermatous Wiscount this kind of conduct seems a mere trick of indeed with the exception of a Bishop or two (Oxford for one) trade, and it is not vilification to charge gentlemen with it. GENERAL the minority list is composed of the names of the feeblest creatures CODRINGTON stood up for GENERAL ASHBURNHAM, and then the Navy in the House of Lords. The second reading was carried by 47 Estimates were taken. Sir CHARLES WOOD obtained 53,700 men and to 18. boys, and about five millions and a half of money.
The Commons did one foolish and one wise thing. They rejected, Tuesday. The only tolerable debate of the week arose in the Lords, by 221 to 86, MR. DILlwyn's bill for trying whipcord, instead of a on the Divorce Bill. The second reading was moved by the LORD comfortable and costly imprisonment, upon scoundrels who beat and CHANCELLOR, supported by LORD LYNDHURST and LORD CAMPBELL, illtreat women and children: and they carried, by 313 to 174, a motior. and opposed by divers Bishops, a majority of the hierarchy, however, for abolishing Minister's Money (an objectionable church-rate, for voting in its favour. All the arguments were old enough, except one, which an advantageous substitution is made) in Ireland.
Wednesday. The Commons got through some uninteresting business, but some petitions were presented highly interesting to the parties
SINGERS IN THE SAWDUST. concerned, namely, Election Petitions. The time for presenting them has expired, and there are nearly Sixty. So it is probable that MR.
LL well bred persons Dod will have to issue a supplement to his admirable Parliamentary
are aware it is conCompanion.
sidered vulgar to Thursday. The Lords being all at the evening service appointed for
express surprise, Ascension Day by the Book of Common Prayer, of course could not
but however assemble for secular purposes.
may jeopardise our The Commons, though they gathered, did so to hear a sermon from
fashionable reputathe REVEREND MR. SPOONER upon Maynooth. His own friends did
tion, we must really not muster strongly, there being actually only NEWDEGATE and one
own to feeling some
astonishment on other gentleman on the Opposition benches during the oration, but his enemies came in greater force, and, on division, in lieu of the
hearing that an triumph once epically recorded by Mr. Punch, the valiant SPOONER
opera had been perwas defeated by 125 to 91, and, what was worse, nobody would reply
formed on horseto him. Mr. Punch would like to calm MR. SPOONER's mind in
back. Having seen reference to his terrors about the Catholics, if that honourable gentle
Macbeth hippodraman cannot see that while Punch exists any triumpb_for Popery
matised at Astley's, is impossible. Punch is worth more than a hundred of Exeter Halls
and having read how to Protestantism. When CARDINAL WISEMAN and his accomplices
Richard II. has been have, with great labour and pains, spun a cobweb for the entrapping of
mounted (in the the lieges, Mr. Punch smiles, and pokes his stick through it, and the
episode procession Cardinalis obliged to take refuge in anonymous pamphleteering,
scene) at the Prin.
cess's, instead of boldly printing his name like Mr.'Punch. But it seems that
we have MR. SPOONER is afraid lest the Irish priests, having been taught
somewhat treason at Maynooth, should practise it. Bless MR: SPOONER's soul
, SHAKspeare in the sawdust; but we must confess we were con
accustomed to find suppose an Irish priest conceived the idea of becoming a traitor, nay; siderably startled to learn that Verdi had been put into the saddle. had convinced his whiskified conscience that he ought to be one, a vision would come across him of Mr. JUSTICE KEogh, or some other It took us quite two minutes to recover respiration when we Catholic judge, who, if the worthy father carried his idea into effect, heard Il Trovatore had been done at Astley's, and that as it was would, without the faintest reverence for the teaching of Maynooth,
supported by the whole strength of the stud,” there was a strong consign him to the cord or the convict-ship. Now, if the priest had hope of its having a good run. Even yet we confess we scarcely can really been properly instructed in Jesuitry, he would know that “self- imagine a prima donna upon horseback, and, as it certainly would seem defence against a cruel judge is not only a right but a duty," and to us, taking an airing while giving us her airs. Nor can we fancy
how the tender tenor can possibly pursue the even tenour of his way, consequently, that he is bound to keep his treason to himself,“ provided only that he is a traitor in Intention.” Dear Mr. SPOONER, what when he thus is brought to such a jog-trot existence; and we cannot danger need QUEEN VICTORIA apprehend from the disciples of think, if he be shaky in his seat, how he can contrive to sing at all
with firmness. Even an Astleyian steed will caper now and then, and ESCOBAR, with judges on the bench, and Mr. Punch in Fleet Street ?
Sir Richard BETHELL introduced his Bill for dealing with Fraudu- every such prance must cause a tremolo concerted movement of the lent Trustees, and, moreover, as Mr. Punch expected, announced that voice together with the body of the rider : so that in the execution of he would prosecute the Directors of the British Bank, who, it may be a rondo round the Circus, there would probably be many more shakes presumed, have obtained their passports. Sir Richard was anxious introduced than the most florid of composers ever dreamed of.
If the experiment succeed (and we may at least congratulate the to impress on the House that he had not come to this determination in consequence of any newspaper dictation. Of course not, but Ap management upon its acting on the maxim, Fiat experimentum in corITHELL had read Ap Punch, though, who pledges his healtẢ in the pore Verdi), of course we soon shall find it has been followed, and following giass of cwrw. (He drinks.)
every circus-master of the horse will become for the time a singing
master also. Perhaps Don Giovanni will tread next in the hoof prints Friday. LORD PANMURE stated that he was nearly ready with a of Il Trovatore (and we would walk a mile ourselves to see the complete system of education for the officers of the Army. What a Leporello of LABLACHE a-straddle !). La Sonnambula might also be delightful change is in prospect. Imagine the day when, going per equestrianly illustrated ;” and the walk over the water-wheel anrail from London to Woolwich, with a lot of young officers, Mr. Punch, nounced as a “daring feat of equitation.” Of all Operas, however, instead of being merely amused with biographies of rat terriers, the Beggars' is most suited to be set on horseback; and we are sure speculations whether Jones will get his step, suggestions of remedies Macheath would be quite certain of a hit, by continually tumbling off for being blessed seedy, comparisons between the ancles of dancers, two bare-backed steeds, and singingeulogies on MR. Paul BEDFORD, and recommendations to read Beli's Life about the Slashing Butterman, Mr. Punch shall be instructed
Oh, how happy could I be on either,
Were t'other fleet courser away: with parall is between FABIUS and SIR CHARLES NAPIER, descriptions
But when trying to ride buth together, of the siege of Rhodes, essays on castrametation, discussions on
On neither a moment I stay ! military engineering, citations from the Duke's Despatches, and
Of course where a ballet or a ball-scene occurs, as, for instance, in analyses of MR. WILLIAM RUSSELL's lectures !
Roberto or Gustavus, there might be introduced a set of equestrian The Commons, after attending to the PRINCESS Roral in the quadrilles, or perhaps a polka by performing ponies: and by way of a manner already stated (MR. ROEBUCK and the WisCOUNT objecting, finale, some hurdles might be brought, over which the vocalists might but giving way, and the vote being unanimous) took more Navy jump to a conclusion. Estimates, and passed the Transportation Bill. LORD PALMERSTON announced that the House would not sit on the day on which our "Isthmian Games” were celebrated, meaning, as it was necessary to
Literature in America. explain to divers railway members, officers, and others, the Derby Day.
“In America,” said MR. JUSTICE HALLIBURTON at the Literary Fund banquet, the author flattered the public, and the public flattered
the author, and there was no honesty between them." We should MEAT AND DRINK.
rather say for our English selves—"in America, the author is robbed
by the public, and whatever honesty may remain is wholly and indiSwift, in his immortal Tale of a Tub, represents Peter as trying to visibly on the author's side.” For flattery, read moral felony, and the persuade his brothers, Martin and Jack, that a cut off a loaf was a sentence is, we think, greatly improved. slice of mutton, and not only that, but also a glass of wine. The fol. lowing advertisement, which has lately appeared, may be imagined to
Humboldt Honoured! have emanated from Peter :
BARON HUMBOLDT, majestic in years and wisdom, has at length MOUTON, an excellent DESSERT CLARET, 368. per
doz. achieved the very summit of all earthly greatness. Prince NAPOLEON,
before leaving Berlin, in the name of the EMPEROR OF THE FRENCH, This advertisement may suggest a riddle, and occasion some wag to conferred on the author of Kosmos, the decoration of-a Grand Officer ask, what that is which may be drunk at dessert and eaten at dinner? of the Legion of Honour. It is said that the EMPEROR OF Hayti has | In imbibing Mouton wine, the archæologist will be reminded of a good commissioned the ebony Baron JEAN Simon,
his Ambassader at the old English beverage. Whilst he is, as it were, drinking Sheep, he will English Court, to confer upon SIR RODERICK MURCHISON the Most remember that his ancestors were accustomed to quaff Lambswool. Noble Order of the Black Beetle.
at the thing, and consider the impudence of 84 great black spiders claiming to suck £90,000 a-year out of the public. This petition has settled the business. Be it also mentioned that LORD DUNGANNON, on the part of the very High Church, objected to the Bishops and others preaching in Exeter Hall, to thousands who have no other Church-accommodation. The BISHOP OF LONDON, bowever, made this Puseyite prig an eloquent and admirable reply, endorsed by the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY. The Lords took holiday from Thursday to Thursday.
A small knot in the Commons, 14 in all, endeavoured to reduce the PRINCESS ROYAL's dowry by £2,000, but 328 members confirmed the original proposition. An attempt was also made to deprive the young lady of the £40,000 voted to her, but 361 were found for giving it, and only 18 the other way. The clap-trap-setters in the minority will easily be guessed at, but Mr. Punch will not assist the snobs in their object by publishing their names.
The veteran PALMERSTON then came out as Secretary at War and moved the Army estimates. He was doing the same thing in 1809, when, as MR. JOHN Timbs informs us, he also gave orders for the repair and improvement of the Horse Guards Clock. Pam and the clock have gone on capitally ever since, both receiving such additional enlightenment as the age suggested, but always showing a good face to the world, and being looked up to as favourite authorities. As regards the Army, he explained that there was an increase in our cavalry and artillery, but none in our infantry, and that he wanted about eleven millions of money, a good deal of which was voted. The reason LORD Pam assigned for making the speech was, that the new young rich Under Secretary, Sir John RAMSDEN, had not been long enough in office to learn more than details. He has already learned enough, however; to get rebuked for discourtesy to Members asking questions, so there are hopes that he will in time rival FRED. PEEL.
Tuesday. QUEEN VICTORIA kept her birthday.
Wednesday. BLINK Bonny won the Derby, as prophesied by Mr. Punch on page 122 of this volume, and by no other prophet whatsoever.
Thursday. MR. HENRY HERBERT, Member for Kerry, who owns that lovely place by Killarney, where Mr. Punch, lentus in umbra, and looking love to eyes that answered love again, did, some summers since —but pshaw, this is trifling-up, HERCULES from the feet of
OMPHALE. So, so, Mr. Punch is himself again. Mr. HERBERT, then, How agreeable it is, and more especially if you are late, and are dressing the amiable proprietor of charming property in Ireland, has accepted against time to dine with ultra-punctual people-how agreeable it is, on the office of Irish Secretary, vacant
by the resignation of the atrabilious getting into your clean shirt, to find the laundress has been careful to fasten HORSMAN. MR. KEATING, the barrister, and Member for Reading, is all the buttons for you!
the new Solicitor-General.
Prussia has signed with Switzerland; so that storm in a teacup is hushed. MR. ROEBUCK brought on a debate upon our relations with
Brazil, and LORD PALMERSTON explained that we keep a rod hanging PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
over the Brazilians' heads, to be administered elsewhere only in the May 25, Monday. The Queen's Birthday, the Isthmian games, and NAPIER (failing, as usual) moved for a committee to inquire into the
event of their not actively discouraging the slave trade. Sir CHARLES the approach of Whitsuntide, combined to furnish Parliament with excuses for lightening its labours this week. The Lords applied constitution of the Board of Admiralty, and among other pleasant themselves to one subject only, namely the Divorce Bill, which
they things, à la Cassandra, said that in the event of a sudden war with discussed in Commitiee on Monday and Thursday. The result of
France and Russia, QUEEN VICTORIA's throne would not be worth six their labours has to be edited by the Commons, and therefore it is months' purchase. He must have forgotten that he himself is not in necessary only to say that the Roman Catholic DUKE OF NORFOLK command of the fileet. BERNAL
OSBORNE peppered the old humbug was defeated by 123 to 26 in his attempt to get rid of the Bill on the with some severity, but more effectual notice should be taken of ground that marriage was indissoluble, -that LORD ST. LEONARDS either that Sir Charles Napier ought to be expelled the House and
statements involving such charges against the Executive. It is clear, carried, against Government, a clause for depriving husbands, who the Service, or that SIR CHARLES Wood ought to be hanged. have separated from their wives, of the power of seizing the property of those unfortunate women- that LORD LYNDHURST was unsuccessful
LORD RAYNHAM, who is acquiring an honourable notoriety by in an attempt to have it declared that five years' abandonment should trying to help the helpless, endeavoured to obtain a committee for amount to dissolution of marriage, and that the Bishop of OXFORD inquiring into the working of the Act for punishing aggravated assaults carried-by_53 to 47 a clause preventing the re-marriage of divorced on women and children ; but Sir GEORGE GREY, though professing to persons Flushed with his victory, the haughty SOAPEY made another believe that the Act was doing much good, refused to consent to professional demonstration, and sought to leave it to an individual the production of proof; and the motion, for which 84 voted, was clergyman to say whether he would or would not read the marriage
rejected. service over any one who happened to have been divorced, and desired to Friday. BLINK Bonny won the Oaks. The CHANCELLOR OF THE wed a new consort. But this was a little too priestly for the Lords, EXCHEQUER ventured upon one of those pieces of official hypocrisy and SAMUEL was beaten by 78 to 26. Finally, an excessively strong which, thanks to Mr. Punch, are now seldom risked. He boldly deamendment was concocted and agreed to, namely, that henceforth, clared that Members of Parliament had no right to nominate candi. where the wife has erred, there shall be no action for damages, but dates for public situations. Literally taken, his assertion was truethat any man violating the Seventh Commandment shall be guilty of they have no such right. But in practice we should like to know a misdemeanor and punishable by fine or imprisonment. In this what Mr. Hayter would say to a regulation forbidding him to mark form the Bill stands at present, and all that Mr. Punch intends to say his sense of the exemplary conduct of a Member of Parliament, by upon a subject of more importance than nineteen-twentieths of the banding him a bit of patronage for a meritorious constituent. What topics that come before Parliament, is, that the House of Lords is is the use of talking such folly? If Mr. Punch's lofty virtue and treating the measure with the grave and earnest consideration it leaded báton did not make it dangerous to approach him with unworthy demands, and that he trusts the Commons will show equal good taste suggestions, he has but to hint, any night, that he intends to divide and good feeling..
against Ministers, and there would be a sudden recollection that a A noticeable point was one raised on the report of the Wills Bill. place in the Treasury was ready for his son, one in the Post Office for It was urged hy 84 out of 104 proctors, that the Bill would reduce his nephew, and one in the Custom-House for any member of the their profits from £90,000 to £15,000 a year. We wonder that the Blacking Brigade who last polished Mr. P.'s button-boots. announcement of such a boon to the public did not induce the Lords MR. BOWYER is the organ of the Romish priests, and they, hating instantly to suspend the standing orders, and pass the Bill in five minutes. Prussia as a Protestant power, have set this amiable but silly man to Assuredly, here are 75,000 reasons in favour of the measure. Just look endeavour to fix an insuft upon the Prussian Court. He moved, and
the Wiscount seconded him, that the PRINCESS Rorai's income should and I conquered India, he had his APELLES, but do you pretend to be ccase as soon as she became Queen of Prussia. The feeling of the one? Hang and burn your insolence. House compelled the Papist and the Snob to withdraw the motion. The attention of the House was called to the state of the Scotch
“Yours, F. Napier, Provost - Marshal-General.” Pauper Lunatic Asylums, in which it appears that all the horrors of A Napier, in answer to a proposal to make him a Peer of the Realm. which we read with a shudder as having been permitted, in other years, in England, are in rampant existence. Scotland is too drunken
"My LORD, -Without inquiring whether terror rather than apprea country not to have much lunacy in it, but is so religious a country ciation has produced your offer to make me a peer, I beg to say, that that it ought to see that the unhappy victims of whiskey and Calvinism if I accept a beggarly Barony, I perfectly comprehend the desire are duly cared for.
that exists on the part of the Court and the Government to muzzle me The rest of the Army Estimates were taken, and the Commons with a coronet, and I acknowledge the compliment. I only consent to followed the example of the Lords in separating for the Whitsuntide be a mere Baron at a time of life when WELLINGTON was an Earl, on recess.
the distinct understanding that if any slavish sycophant or foul-mouthed bully receives similar honour with myself, I am at once created a
Duke. Also, I will not be made at the same time with that respectable THE NAPIER LETTER-WRITER.
"Your obedient Servant, G. NAPIER, Governor-General.” MODELLED ON THE EPISTOLARY PRODUCTIONS OP THAT DISTINGUISHED
A Napier, in answer to a petition for a lock of his hair. FAMILY OF MARTYRS.
"MY DEAR MATILDA-JANE,- It is much too grey, thanks to the
brutal ingratitude of a nation and its rulers. I would rather send you A Napier, in answer to a tradesman's circular requesting patronage. some hair out of the tail of my bonny old horse, though he may be
“Sir,—Take back your blatant grey too, for you would hardly believe it, but a horse which had carried manifesto. Whether its con- Me for two years was refused free quarters in the parks and stables at tents state truth or falsehood, Windsor Castle for the rest of his life. Man and horse, we are alike you insult an ill-paid man by trampled on, or should be if they dared do it. However, here's my inviting him to make
purchases, hair, and set it in thick gold, for fear it should stand on end some day, and therefore you may go to and break the locket, on hearing you read in some paper that the the father of lies.
jackass and idiot, LORD D- has received the Garter. A rope “A. NAPIER,
would be better, in which he would dangle nicely, to frighten the birds “ Bombardier-General.”
from my early peas.
" Affectionately, H. NAPIER, Consul-General." A NAPIER, in answer to an Invitation to Dinner.
A Napier, in answer to a Newspaper Editor. "DEAR BROWN,-You have
“SIR, - Blow and confound your atrocious and supercilious audacity. asked me to dinner' three times, Why, you lie, man. It was on the 30th of April, not the Ist of May, whereas I have asked you but as you disgustingly state, that I first wore black breeches, and with twice. This assumption of su- such a preposterous blunder at the outset of your beastly article, what periority is either degrading reliance can be placed on the rest ? Drink your ink, blackguard, and
don't spirt it over
"Yours, obediently, I. NAPIER, Advocate-General.”
Quartermaster-General.” A NAPIER, in answer to an offer of an Opera Box. "DEAR Madam,- I cannot suppose that you meant to annoy me, by proposing that I should have a box on a night when a new opera is given for the first time. To your husband, of course, I attribute the insult of sending me on Thursday, on the chance of the production being good or bad, reserving the Saturday box for yourselves, should the work be worth hearing. I am no vile body on which experiments may be tried, and I beg to return the card, which looks as creased and dirty as if you had tried half a dozen persons before you thought of "Yours, truly, C. NAPIER, Paymaster-General."
WISDOM OF THE LORD MAYOR. A NAPIER, in answer to a request for an Autograph. “D. NAPIER, Adjutant-General, desires his valet, MATTHEW
In the report of the ridiculous meeting held the other evening by TREMBLES, to say that the impertinent demand for D. NAPIER's auto the United Kingdom Alliance, in Exeter Hall
, to welcome the med. graph can only have emanated from some abject tool of Government, selves under the restraint of his Liquor Law-we find that the Rev.
dlesome Mr. Dow—who wishes to befool Britons into putting themdesirous to forge a despatch in the name of D. Napier, and whom he, Dawson Burns read letters of apology from the Bishop or LONDON therefore thus baffles.'
and other eminent persons too sensible to attend, and among them A NAPIER, in answer to an entreaty for his vote and interest in an from “the LORD MAYOR, who returned the ticket." Bravo, LORD Orphan Asylum Election.
MAYOR! Fancy the impudence of the Alliance fanatics in inviting the “SIR, -I know nothing of you or the brat that you patronise, and that they were going to persuade the civic monarch,
at the Mansion.
LORD Mayor himself to assist at their tomfoolery! Did they imagine therefore refuse ; but I foresee that you will make my doing so the House dinners, to send round the Loving Cup filled with ginger-pop, groundwork of a lying statement that I am hostile to children, whereas and to stand nothing better than toast and water for the toast, and for I adore them. I am accustomed to slanders, and you may do your every other toast of the evening ? worst, and go to Pandemonium. “Yours, E. NAPIER, Inspector-General.”
The Future Queen of Prussia. A NAPIER, in answer to an application to be permitted to paint his
MR. BOWYER proposed that, on the event of the PRINCESS ROYAL Picture.
becoming QUEEN OF Prussia, her annuity paid by England should “ŞIR, I won't. My place is under canvas, not on it, and those cease. Was not this an attempt by anticipation, to rob the Crown of who have chosen to forget me in the one position, shall not be re- Prussia of its very richest jewel; for what other jewel could be found minded of me in the second. Besides, you are impudent. ALEXANDER in that somewhat seedy diadem worth £8,000 a-year?
not feel himself comforted as a Christian with so much money, won THIRTY THOUSAND POUNDS' WORTH OF SORROW. from the wicked turf-the turf that is only a verdant covering to the
bottomless pit-and therefore, we are inwardly convinced, he is at this Ar the late Chester races, certain persons, self-elected preachers, moment casting about him for the best means of dispensing the appeared upon the ground,' inwardly moved to discourse to a turf £30,000 that, otherwise, must be to him no less than thirty-thousand congregation on the sinfulness of the world in general and on the tons of burning, coals. Yes, at this moment, the remorseful mind of atrocious wickedness of races in particular. Why not? Ginger beer GILL bethinks itself of Chester Hospitals ; of Chester Schools ; of is allowed its stall; gingerbread nuts are permitted free vent. Why, Chester Reformatories; and if he pauses a moment in casting from his then, should not the field preacher be permitted to froth with indigna- soul that £30,000 weight, it is only that he cannot at a moment make tion, and to become red hot with zeal in the cause of sinners? If his election of the object. Let us, then, give the man of sorrow a these turf apostles did not interfere with the running-if they little time to consider and choose. obediently cleared the course of themselves and their doctrines at the The naughty LORD BYRON had a skull mounted as a drinking-cup. proper
warning, we see no reason why their sermons should be a whit A much more terrible vessel must be the Chester Cup to the eye of more interdicted than ginger-pop or ginger-nuts. However, the the remorseful man who has won it; filled, we may say, with 30,000 authorities of Chester thought otherwise ; and, by means of their con- sovereigns! What a sea of guilt is there! What a draught for a stables, conveyed away to safe keeping certain divine orators, taken in Satan's Sabbath to be tasted by the whole court of BEELZEBUB! the fact of expounding their doctrines of woe and desolation. The It is not given to the human heart, especially when touched by preachers were for a time held in custody; and then discharged to be remorse, softened by sorrow, to make a household thing of that Cup. embraced with fraternal love and refreshed with sympathetic tears: The repentant sinner cannot continue to behold it on his sideboard, for a meeting was straightway convoked at Chester in admiration and the vessel 'to his imaginative eye so "bubbles and boils with the honour of the turf-preaching oppressed.
aconite froth” that rises from the source of all cant and all hypocrisy. The chair was taken by MR. WILLIAM TITHERINGTON, of the firm of We shall give the earliest notice of the manner in which MR. GILL TITHERINGTON and—and pray let the reader mark the fact, and Gill, bestows the hated, festering £30,000. In token of
the worthy gentleand, we may add, Somes & Co: for the grief, sorrow, and
compunction man's grief upon his winnings, it is understood that his commercial that have fallen upon partner Gill must, if the reader be not of stone, house will in future be known as " TITHERINGTON, Gill, Gribi, melt him like butter. However, let us first note two or three lovely and Co." bits of humility emanating from the preachers themselves, from the men who had been in bonds. Mr. REGINALD RADCLIFFE, a sufferer, said, "his poor hands had been steeped in vice,” but he had washed them, and had used them in prayer at Chester races : for in race week “Chester was drunkenness; Chester was fornication ; Chester was gambling." Even so.
“The business transacted between men during the race week in front of the Royal Hotel, was very differont to that transacted between tradesmen. When a man bet another £5 to £100, the intention of the one was to gain the £100 and retain the £5;-to gain the £100 for nothing. A tradesman would send an order for £50 worth of things, and in return would receive goods to that amount, but on the gambler's principle, in lieu of £50 worth of goods, the trader would receive a quantity of empty boxes."
Now, Mr. Gill, of the respected firm of TITHERINGTON AND GILL is a Liverpool cotton-broker; and is reputed to have won no less than £30,000 on the last Chester-cup. What a blow, then, is dealt by preacher RADCLIFFE at cotton-broker Gill! What a draught of bit. terness is he made to drink from that Cup of Death, the Cup of the Chester Turf. Let us, however, not forget the humility of the preacher. It is quite touching to learu the very humble conditions upon which he is willing to enter heaven.
"He would again repeat what he had before stated, that he had not ono il thought against MAJOR FRENCI (the magistrate), but would rejoice-if he were able and the Major would allow him—to go to heaven with bim arm-in-arm, and with the high constavle, and with the policeman who took him to gaol."
What a sublime, what an affecting picture! How tender, how lowly, too, the Christian spirit that would not refuse to go arm-in-arm to heaven, even with-a policeman! This very fact will prove the earnest humility that moved the preacher to the race-course; for after much suffering in a cell, he is quite prepared to forgive the constable who took him by the collar, and conveyed him to the dungeon, and, ♡ slipping his arm under the policeman's, is quite ready and willing to enter Paradise with Al. What a subject for a chapel window, if chapels permitted such flaunting vanities. We now come to MR. GILL, of the firm of TITHERINGTON and Gill:
ORDNANCE ESTIMATES to the forlorn and unfortunate MR. GILL, who received such a side
Mr. Punci hereby gives notice that, as soon as ever he is honoured kick at the heels of RADCLIFFE. TITHERINGTON, a man of gushing with a seat in Parliament, he intends to move for an amendment of the piety, is in the chair ; and at once answers a sneering attack, headed Ordnance Estimates, which with annual incompleteness, are furnished
Saints and Sinners,” that had appeared in the Chester Chronicle. by the Government. Instead of their embracing only the requireWhat is Mr. TITHERINGTON's withering reply? Why, Tartuffe must ments of the Naval and the Military service, Mr. Punch would suggest hang his head, ashamed; Cantuell is extinguished; Mawworm is their extension to the Clerical. Mr. Punch cannot see why the great dumfounded.
guns of the Church should not as well be included in the list, and the The paragraph, in question (says TITHERINGTON) was headed “Saints and public he made accurately acquainted with the cost of keeping them Sinners, was congratulations to success of his partner, Mr. Gili, in winning a large sum of money at Chester Raceoil the spokeino Mr. Punch would like to see an estimate as to what the nation now
in working order. Without being thought too inquiring an economist, the subject with deep humility and self abasement ; his partner had been guilty of winning a large sum of money at the races, BUT HE WAS HAPPY TO SAY THAT HE (MR. GILL) was expends upon such ordnance from its minor canons up to its six. AS SORRY AS HIMSELF, AND MR. GILL HAD RESOLVED NEVER TO BE SEEN ON THE thousand pounders; and Mr. Punch would like to know why, when a
great gun has become unfit for service, it should not forthwith be It is almost too sublime a height for us to hope to reach, to sympa discharged without the nation having quite so heavily to pay the thise with the sorrow of a man-that man, too, a partner of TITHER- shot. INGTON; day-book of his day-book and ledger of his ledger,-who has won £30,000 by a sinful horse-race! But there is consolation to the
Unnatural Subjects. sufferer, even in the very depths of his grief-consolation arising to him from the sweet resolve "never to be seen on the course again.”
It is with indescribable pain that we call the attention of our loyal This reminds us of the pathetic, the lovely line in the ballad of Win readers to the fact that certain persons, assumed to wear the human Watch, the Bold Smuggler :
form, belonging to the Financial Reform Association of Liverpool, have “When his pockets were lined, why his life should be mended."
addressed the QUEEN and F. M. PRINCE ALBERT on the subjệct of the
PRINCESS ROYAL's dowry. These petitioners absolutely ask of the And the repentant GILL, with £30,000 at his banker's, turf-profits, Royal parents to provide for their own child! But these petitioners may cease to make a book.” But we are certain that MR. GILL will cannot be men. No; they must be pelicans.