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Blithe. Indeed, Sir, it is a matter of importance to a ppear decently at such a time, if ever. Would you have him go as you used to do, upon the same business, dress'd in a long ill shapen coat, a greasy pair of breeches, and a flap'd hat; with your oats in one side of your saddle bags, and your dinner in the other? this would make an odd appearance in the present age.

Hunks. A fig for the appearance, so long as I gain'd my point, and sav'd my money, and consequently my credit. The coat you mention is the same I have on now. 'Tis not so very long as you would represent it to be-Measuring the skirts by one leg.] See, it comes. but just below the calf. This is the coat that my father was married in, and I after him. It has been in the fashion five times since it was new, and never was altered, and 'tis a pretty good coat yet.

Blitbe. Youv'e a wonderful faculty of saving your money and credit, and keeping in the fashion at the same time. I suppose you mean by saving your credit, that money and credit are inseparably connected.

Hunks. Yes, that they are; he that has one, need not. fear the loss of the other. For this reason, I can't consent to your son's proposal; he's too much of a spend-thrift to merit my approbation.

Blitbe. If you call him a spendthrift for his generosi ty, I desire he may never merit your approbation. A reputation that's gained by saving money in the manner you have mentioned, is at best but a despicab'e character. Hunks. Do you mean to call my character despicable? Blithe. We won't quarrel about the name, since you are so well contented with the thing.

Hunks. You're welcome to your opinion; I would not give a fiddle stick's end for your good or ill will; my ideas of reputation are entirely different from your's, or your son's, which are just the same; for I find you justify him in all his conduct. But as I have determin ed upon another match for my daughter, I shan't trouble myself about his behavior.

Blithe. But perhaps your proposed match will beequally disagreeable.

Hunks. No, I've no apprehension of that. He's a person of a fine genius and an excellent character.

Blithe. Sir, I desire to know who this person is, that has such a genius and character, and is so agreeable to your taste.

Hunks. 'Tis my young cousin Griffin. He's heir to a great estate you know. He discovered a surprising genius almost as soon as he was born. When he was a very child, he made him a box, with one small hole in it, into which he could just crowd his money, and could not get it out again without breaking his box, by which meaus he made a continual addition till he filled it, and

Blithe. Enough! enough! I've a sufficient idea of his character, without hearing another word. But are you sufe you shall obtain this excellent match for your daughter?

Hunks. Oh, I'm certain on't, I assure you, and my utmost wishes are gratified with the prospect.

He has

a large patrimony lying between two excellent farms of mine; which are at least worth two thousand pounds. These I've given to my daughter and have ordered her uncle to take the deeds into his own hands, and deliver them to her on the day of her marriage.

Blithe. Then it seems you've almost accomplished the business. But have you got the consent of the young gentleman in the affair.

Hunks. His consent! what need I care about his consent, so long as Iv'e his father's, that's sufficient for my purpose.

Blithe. Then you intend to force the young coupleto marry, if they are unwilling?

Hunks. Those two thoutand pounds will soon give them a disposition, I'll warrant you.

Blithe. Your schemes, I confess, are artfully concerted, but I must tell you, for your mortification, that the young gentleman is already married.

Hunks. What do you say! already married ? it can't be! I don't believe a syllable on't!

Blithe. Every syllable is true! whether you belive it or not. I received a letter this day from his father; if you won't believe me, you may read it, (gives him the letter) There's the account in the postcript. (Point to it.)

Hunks, reads. [1 bad almost forgot to tell you, that last Thursday my son was married to Miss Clary Brentford,

that all parties are very happy in the connection.] Confusion! [tbrows down the letter.] What does this mean! married to Clary Brentford! this is exactly one of cousin Tom's villainous tricks. He promised me that his son should marry my daughter upon condition that I would give her those two farms; but I can't imagine from what stupid motives he has altered his mind.

Blithe. Disappointment is the common lot of all men, even our surest expectations are subject to misfortune.

Hunks. Disappointment! this comes from a quarter from which I least expected one. But there's the deeds, I'll take care to secure them again; 'tis a good hit that I did not give them to the young rogue beforehand.

Blithe. That was well thought of; you keep a good look out, I see, though you cannot avoid some disappointments. I see nothing in the way now, to hinder my son's proceeding; you will easily grant your consent, now you're cut off from your former expectations.

Hunks. I can't see into this crooked affair-I'm heartily vex'd at it. What could induce that old villain to deceive me in this manner: I fear this was some scheme of my daughter's to prevent the effect of my design. If this is her plan, if she sets so light upon two thousand pounds, she shall soon know what it is to want it, I'll promise her.

Blithe. If you had bestowed your gift, without crossing her inclination, she would have accepted it very thankfully.

Hunks. O, I don't doubt it in the least; that would have been a pretty story indeed! but since she insists upon gratifying a foolish fancy, she may follow her own inclination, and take the consequences of it: I'll keep the favors I meant to bestow on her, for those that know how to prize them, and that merit them by a becoming gratitude.

Blithe. But you won't reject her, destitute of a patrimony and a father's blessing?

Hunks. Not one farthing shall she ever receive from my hand. Your son may take her, but her person is barely all that I'll give him; he has seduced her to disobey her father, and he shall feel the effects of it.

Blithe. You're somewhat ruffled, I perceive, but I

hope you'll recall these rash resolutions in your cooler

moments.

Hunks. No, never, I'll give you my word, and that's as fixed as the laws of the Medes and Persians.

Blithe. Butlook ye, Sir, here's another circumstance to be attended; my son has the deeds already in his own hauds.

Hunks, Deeds! what deeds! those I gave to my brother?

Blitbe. Yes the very same.

Hunks. What a composition of villainy and witchcraft is here! What, my deeds given up to your son?

lithe. Yes: your brother thought that my son had an undoubted title to them now, since his cousin was married, and so he gave them up the next day.

Hunks. This is intolerable! I could tear the scalp from my old brainless scull; why had I not more wit than to trust them with him? I am cheated every way! I can't trust a cent with the best friend I have on earth!

Blitbe. That is very true, 'tis no wonder you can't trust to your best friend. The truth of the case is, you have no friend, nor can you expect any so long as you make an Idol of yourself, and feast your sordid avaricious appetite upon the misfortunes of mankind. You take every possible advantage by the present calamities, to gratify your own selfish disposition. So long as this is the case, depend upon it you will be an object of universal detestation. There is no one on earth that would not rejoice to see how you're bro't in. Your daughter now has got a good inheritance, and an agreeable partner, which you were in duty bound to grant her; but, instead of that, you were then doing the utmost to deprive her of every enjoyment in life. [Hunks puts his bands to his breast.] I don't wonder your conscience smites you for your villainy. Don't you see how justly you have been cheated into your duty?

Hunks. I'll go this moment to an attorney, and get a warrant; I'll put the villain in jail before an hour is a an end. Oh, my deeds! my farms! what shall I de for my farms!

Blithe. Give yourself no farther trouble about them, there's no evidence in the case; you must be sensible

therefore, an action can't lie. 1 would advise you to rest contented and learn from disappointments, not to place such an exorbitant value upon wealth. In the mean time I should be very glad of your company at the wedding. My son and his wife would be very happy to see you. Hunks. The dragon fly away with you, and your son, and your son's wife. O! my farms! what shall I do for my farms!

BEVIL and MYRTLE.

Bev. SIR, I am extremely obliged to you for this honor. Myrt. The time, the place, our long acquaintance and many other circumstances, which effect me on this occasion oblige me without ceremony or conference, to desire that you will comply with the request in my letter which you have already acknowledged the receipt.

Bev. Sir, I have received a letter from you in a very unusual stile. But as I am conscious of the integrity of my behaviour with respect to you, and intend that every thing in this matter shall be your own seeking, I shall understand nothing but what you are pleased to confirm face to face. You are therefore to take it for granted, that I have forgot the contents of your epistle.

Myrt. Your cool behaviour, Mr. Bevil, is agreeable to the unworthy use you have made of my simplicity and frankness to you. And I see, your moderation tends to your own advantage, not mine; to your own safety, not to justice for the wrongs you have done your friend. Bev. My own safety! Mr. Myrtle. Myrt. Your own safety, Mr. Bevil.

You

Myrt. Mr. Myrtle, there, is no disguising any longer that I understand what you would force me to. know my princpal upon that point: and you have often heard me express my disapprobation of the savage manner of deciding quarrels, which tyrannical custom has introduced, to the breach of all laws, both divine and human.

Myrt. Mr. Bevil, Mr. Bevil! It would be a good first principle, in those who have so tender a conscience that way, to have as much abhorrence at doing injuries, as-[Turns away abruptly.]

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