A clownish Roughness, and unkindly close, Mr. SPECTATOR, B CREECH. EING of the Number of thofe that have lately retired from the Center of Bufinefs and Pleasure, my Uneafinefs in the Country where I am, arifes rather from the Society than the Solitude of it. To More be obliged to receive and return Vifits from and to a Circle of Neighbours, who through Diversity of Age or Inclinations can neither be entertaining or ferviceable to us, is a vile Lofs of Time, and a Slavery from which a Man fhould deliver himfelf, if poffible: For why muft I lofe the remaining 6 part of my Life, because they have thrown away the former part of theirs? It is to me an infupportable Affliction, to be tormented with the Narrations of a Set ' of People, who are warm in their Expreffions of the quick Relish of that Pleasure which their Dogs and Harfes have a more delicate Taste of. I do alfo in my Heart deteft and abhor that damnable Doctrine and Pofition of the Neceffity of a Bumper, though to ' one's own Toft; for though 'tis pretended that thefe deep Potations are used only to infpire Gaiety, they certainly drown that Chearfulness which would furvive a moderate Circulation. If at thefe Meetings it were left to every Stranger either to fill his Glafs according to his own Inclination, or to make his Retreat when he finds he has been fufficiently obedient to that of others, thefe Entertainments would be governed with more good Senfe, and confequently with more • Good-breeding, than at prefent they are. In deed where any of the Guests are known to measure ⚫ their Fame or Pleasure by their Glafs, proper Exhortations might be used to these to push their Fortunes in this fort of Reputation; but where 'tis unfeasonably infifted on to a modeft Stranger, this Drench may be faid to be fwallowed with the fame Neceflity, as if it had been tendered in the Horn for that purpose, with this aggravating Circumftance, that it diftreffes the Entertainer's Gueft in the fame degree as it relieves his • Horses. ་ 6. TO attend without Impatience an Account of fivebarr'd Gates, double Ditches, and Precipices, and to furvey the Orator with defiring Eyes, is to me extremely difficult, but abfolutely neceffary, to be upon tolerable Terms with him: but then the occafional Bursting out into Laughter, is of all other Accomplishments the moft requifite. I confefs at prefent I ⚫ have not the command of thefe Convulfions, as is neceffary to be good Company; therefore I beg you would publish this Letter, and let me be known all at once for a queer Fellow, and avoided. It is monftrous to me, that we, who are given to Reading and calm • Converfation, should ever be vifited by these Roarers : But they think they themselves, as Neighbours, may come into our Rooms with the fame Right, that they and their Dogs hunt in our Grounds. ་ 6 YOUR Inftitution of Clubs I have always admir'd, in which you conftanlty endeavoured the Union of the metaphorically Defunct, that is fuch as are nei⚫ther ferviceable to the Bufy and Enterprifing part of Mankind, 'Mankind, nor entertaining to the Retir'd and Specu'lative. There should certainly therefore in each County be established a Club of the Perfons whofe Conver'fations I have defcribed, who for their own private, as alfo the public Emolument, fhould exclude, and be 'excluded all other Society. Their Attire should be 'the fame with their Huntsmens, and none fhould be admitted into this green Conversation-Piece, except he had broke his Collar-bone thrice. A broken Rib or two might also admit a Man without the leaft Oppofition. The Prefident must neceffarily have broken 'his Neck, and have been taken up dead once or twice: For the more Maims this Brotherhood fhall have met with, the easier will their Converfation flow and keep up; and when any one of thefe vigorous Invalids had ✦ finished his Narration of the Collar-bone, this naturally would introduce the History of the Ribs. Befides, the different Circumftances of their Falls and Fractures would help to prolong and diverfify their Relations. • There fhould alfo be another Club of fuch Men, who have not fucceeded fo well in maiming themselves, 'but are however in the conftant Pursuit of thefe Accomplishments. I would by no means be fufpected by what I have faid to traduce in general the Body of Fox-hunters; for whilft I look upon a reasonable Creature full fpeed after a Pack of Dogs, by way of Plea'fure, and not of Business, I fhall always make honou-rable mention of it. BUT the most irkfom Converfation of all others I have met with in the Neighbourhood, has been among two or three of your Travellers, who have "overlooked Men and Manners, and have passed thro' "France and Italy with the fame Obfervation that the 'Carriers and Stage-Coachmen do thro' Great-Britain; that is, their Stops and Stages have been regulated according to the Liquor they have met with in their Pasfage. They indeed remember the Names of abundance of Places, with the particular Fineries of certain Churches: But their distinguishing Mark is certain Pretti'neffes of Foreign Languages, the meaning of which they ⚫ could have better exprefs'd in their own. The Enter⚫tainment tainment of thefe fine Obfervers, Shakespear has de • fcribed to confift In talking of the Alps and Apennines, and then concludes with a Sigh, "Now this is worshipful Society! I would not be thought in all this to hate fuck ⚫ honeft Creatures as Dogs; I am only unhappy that I cannot partake in their Diverfions. But I love them fo well, as Dogs, that I often go with my Pockets stuffed with Bread to difpenfe my Favours, or make my way through them at Neighbours Houfes. There is in particular a young Hound of great Expectation, Vivacity, and Enterprise, that attends my Flights wherever he fpies me. This Creature observes my Countenance, and behaves himself accordingly. His Mirth, his Frolic, and Joy upon the Sight of me has ⚫ been obferved, and I have been gravely defired not to encourage him fo much, for it fpoils his Parts; but I think he fhews them fufficiently in the feveral Boundings, Frifkings, and Scourings, when he makes his ⚫ Court to me: But I foresee in a little time he and I muft keep Company with one another only, for we are fit for no other in thefe Parts. Having inform'd you how I do país my time in the Country where I am, I must proceed to tell you how I would pafs it, had I fuch a Fortune as would put me above the Observance ⚫ of Ceremony and Custom. 'MY Scheme of a Country Life then should be as follows. As I am happy in three or four agreeable ⚫ Friends, thefe I would constantly have with me; and the Freedom we took with one another at School and the University, we would maintain and exert upon all ⚫ Occafions with great Courage. There fhould be cer⚫tain Hours of the Day to be employ'd in Reading, during which time it fhould be impoffible for any one of us to enter the other's Chamber, unlefs by Storm. Af..ter this we would communicate the Trash or Treasure wa |