CEASE to persuade, my loving Proteus ; Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits: Pro. Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu! When thou dost meet good hap; and, in thy danger, If ever danger do environ thee, Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers, Val. And on a love-book pray for my success. Pro. Upon some book I love, I'll pray for thee. Val. That's on some shallow story of deep love, How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont. Pro. That's a deep story of a deeper love, For he was more than over shoes in love. Val. 'Tis true; for you are over boots in love, And yet you never swam the Hellespont. Pro. Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots*. Val. No, I'll not, for it boots thee not. Pro. Val. What? To be In love, where scorn is bought with groans; coy looks, With heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth, Pro. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool. prove. Pro. 'Tis love you cavil at; I am not Love. Vul. Love is your master, for he masters you: And he that is so yoked by a fool, Methinks should not be chronicled for wise. Pro. Yet writers say, As in the sweetest bud Val. And writers say, As the most forward bud Is eaten by the canker ere it blow, Even so by love the young and tender wit * A humorous punishment at harvest-home feasts, &c. But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee, Once more adieu: my father at the road Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd. At Milan, let me hear from thee by letters, Pro. All happiness bechance to thee in Milan! Enter Speed. Speed. Sir Proteus, save you: saw you my master? Pro. But now he parted hence, to embark for Speed. Twenty to one then, he is shipp'd already; And I have play'd the sheep, in losing him. Pro. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray, An if the shepherd be awhile away. Speed. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep? Pro. I do. Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, whether Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd. Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another. Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me: therefore, I am no sheep. Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep. Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa. Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia? Speed. Ay, sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton*; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour. Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons. Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her. Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you. Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter. Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pin-fold. Speed. From a pound to a più? fold it over and over, 'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover. Pro. But what said she? did she nod? Speed. I. [Speed nods. Pro. Nod, I? why, that's noddyt. Speed. You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I. and Pro. And that set together, is-noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains. A term for a courtezan. A game at cards. Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter. Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear with you. Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains. Pro. Beshrew* me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: what said she? Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered. Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: what said she? Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. Pro. Why? could'st thou perceive so much from her? Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear, she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel. Pro. What, said she nothing? Speed. No, not so much as-take this forthy puins. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'dt me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck; Which cannot perish, having thee aboard, Being destin'd to a drier death on shore :- Ill betide. [Exeunt. ↑ Given me a six-pence. |