your rankest coward that makes the best bully, so I carried my debauchery to a greater excess than I should otherwise have done, because I was ever chafing on the bit of pride-which he, who pretends to be wicked, should throw off instantly, nor give a single opportunity to hold him in check. And as your coward, too, by breathing nothing but big words, must at length puff himself up with a vapour which, if not exactly the substantial quality itself, is very much like it and will subserve the same purpose for the occasion, so, by affecting to despise shame, I at last set myself completely above its power. The Maitlands, and Lady Arne-connections whose respectability, before so valued, was now my reproach-I no longer durst visit. Yet, for some time, I continued to make regular inquiries respecting my infant, through the nurse, for I was well pleased to have the boy remain under the excellent care of his grandmother-; but even this poor remnant of moral feeling gradually wore thinner and thinner, till not a single thread remained. Thus the last stay gone that bound me to virtue, I launched at once upon the full ocean of iniquity.

When was there, ever, cloud so thick a gleam of day. light could not reach us through it? Dark as my life was, there shone through its gloom one good act, which I mention with feelings of peculiar pleasure; for, when my bones are rotten, it shall canonize the name of Jeremy Levis, as foremost on the list of the illustrious patrons of the literature of the last ten years of the eighteenth century and the first ten years of this.

I was kicking my heels, one day, very leisurely together, when a Mr. Drammer desired to see me. "Mr. Drammer, Mr. Drammer! And, pray, who the devil is Mr. Drammer ?—No matter; show him up, John,—I'm in want of amusement." In stalked a marvellously long human animal, very like a yellow-legged snipe. It was no other than my bottle companion at the Bull, Tom Drammer.

"Mr. Drammer! Really, I am very happy to see you, sir. Sit down."

"Thank you—thank you, Mr. Levis," answered my visiter, with a majestic gravity that marked either the intellectual or the moral man no longer the same—“I see you are engaged. I have merely to show you something, in which, from my knowledge of your good taste and munificence, I hope you will take an interest ;"and Thomas drew from his coat pocket a roll of paper, which, when extended, proved to be almost as long as himself.

"And now I will unclasp a-' Bah! old habits are hard to be eradicated, Mr. Levis. Poor Will Shakespeare! though I have foresworn his society, he will still haunt my memory. However, that is nothing to the purpose. I am about, Mr. Levis, to set up a review with your old friend Sergeant Splint."

"A review? Sergeant Splint ?-O, I suppose you mean a military review, Mr. Drammer."

"Not at all, sir. The sergeant has retired from the service-being, in fact, served out of it, and we have entered into partnership in the literary trade."

"The devil! But surely, you are not serious?"

"Indeed, by cock I am, sir! never was more so. I am to conduct a review as I have said."

"A review ?"

"And why not a review, sir? I flatter myself I have as much impudence as any man, either in or out of the profession-and then, sir, I measure exactly six feet, four inches, and seven eighths, in my stockings, so that, without presumption, I think I can overlook or look down upon any author-no matter of how high a standing he may be."

"Bravo! But Sergeant Splint !—the man has had no education."

"And what of that? It isn't needed; he can pretend to have had one. A man you know can quote from a

book he never read; and just as one knows my Lord Such-a-one, and his Grace of So-and-so, by having heard their names, so he can talk of his acquaintances Tully, Virgil, and Cicero, with a familiarity truly edifying to common readers.-Besides, Mr. Levis, the sergeant has a deal of wicked humour in his composition. It is a rough diamond to be sure; but then it is solid, and, with the aid of a little cutting from me, we can make it a brilliant. Are you satisfied?"

"Satisfied? Glorious!-I suppose you would have me subscribe ?"

"Exactly so, sir." "Let me see your list. Why, this is prodigious!— Three hundred already!—and some too men of the highest fashion!"

"Yes, 'gad!" said Tom, resuming his good humour, "the two noblemen who head the list subscribed, partly out of friendship for your humble servant, and partly be cause I had played, at their particular desire, the part of Cressid's uncle in the green-room; and the rest added their names out of friendship to the two first (though for the matter of the friendship, I believe I have already defined its species).-O, they couldn't refuse, Mr. Levis, no more than you can."

"No; that is true.-It is to be published quarterly, I presume?"

"Of course."

"Well, set my name down for ten copies; and leave blank spaces for twenty more-which I will take care to fill and be answerable for the payment."

up,

For many years the firm of Splint and Drammer conducted the best Review that has ever appeared in Great Britain: but, alas! in an evil hour the Quarterly offered a large bribe to Drammer, and he enlisted himself under its banner. The Edinburgh, hearing of this powerful accession to its rival's force, immediately made a like overture to the sergeant ;-and thus the firm was broken up,

and the two friends became of course most rancorous enemies. Some ten years back, Drammer's fustian might still be readily traced in the pages of the former work, and in the latter many an article displayed the racy vulgarity of Splint: but now, every one remarks that these skylights of literature are rather dim. The defect is easily accounted for ;-the two principal panes are broken in, and their places supplied with straws.

CHAPTER III.

Do you but mark how this becomes the house?

· On my knees I beg,

That you'll vouchsafe me raiment, bed, and food.

King Lear.

ONE day I had a party of friends to dine with me, and, as I was in high spirits, and the company I had assembled consisted entirely of very young men, and those the most dissipated in the whole circle of my acquaintance, my enjoyment was carried far beyond the bounds of temperance.

We were in the midst of our revelry, when the servant announced that a stranger wished to see me on very urgent business."

"Why did you not say I was engaged?" I asked, angrily.

"I did, sir; but he would not be satisfied with my an

"How ?—Ask him to leave his business with you."

"I did, sir; but he said he must see you yourself; and when I told him, that my master never saw any body when

he had company, he said he'd then wait till the company was gone; for see you he must.'

"He's a very impertinent fellow! Tell him to go about his business."

"Sir?"

66

Begone, sir, and do as I bid you!"

In a few minutes the servant returned. "How now, John ?"

"He says, sir, he's your uncle, and must see you tonight."

"My uncle?

66

What kind of a man is he?".

Why, sir,—a—a— a common kind of man, sir. He looks sick, as if he couldn't walk-and he's dressed rather poorly."

"The man's mad! I have no such uncle.-Turn him out, this instant!"

Again the servant left the room. He was gone nearly a quarter of an hour, and when he re-entered, it was with looks of strong reluctance.

"I don't know what to make of him, sir—he's the strangest man-I could'nt get him off in any way-he insists upon it he's your father's own brother, and bids me tell you, sir,- -if

"Speak out, sir!"

"He said, sir-they're his very words-"Tell your master, if he would not kill me, and bring God's curse

"Rascal!" I exclaimed in a rage, not suffering the man to proceed, " What do you suppose I keep you for? To be gulled by lying beggars? Turn the impostor from the door! this instant!"

"But, sir-____”

"Do you hear me? Turn him out of the house, this very moment,- -or quit it yourself!"

The servant was slowly preparing to obey; but, as the door was open, the stranger had heard me, and now, by rushing into the room, prevented the execution of my