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we have officiously deluded and bearance of my inveterate impiecheated ourselves out of religion ties and profaneness. Let me and happiness ; and God, who entreat you to leave off your sins; will not always be despised by his who knows but God may yet recreatures, has chosen me as an ceive you? I speak not this out example to you all, and a warn- of any love to virtue, or hatred of ing to the lazy and indifferent vice (for I am hardened and imChristian. But who, alas ! can penitently reprobate); but, like write his own tragedy without Dives, I am unwilling my brethtears, or copy out the seal of his ren should come into this place own damnation without horror' ! of torment. • Make what use of That there is a God, I know, be. this you please ; only remember, cause I continually feel the ef- that if it does not reclaim it will fects of his wrath : that there is enhance your guilt, possibly to be a hell, I am equally certain, overtaken in this world, as I am having received an earnest of my by the just judgment of God ; if inheritance there already in my not, be sure you will be met with breast : that there is a natural hereafter, which is all, from, &c." conscience, I now feel with hor. As soon as the letter was read ror and amazement, being con- and sent, the night being far tinually upbraided by it with my worn, we all took our leave of impieties, and with all my sins him, wishing him good rest, and brought to my remembrance. a happier condition the next day. Why God has marked me out To which he replied, “ Gentle. for an example of his vengeance, men, I thank you, but my hap. rather than you or any other of piness is at an end ; and as for our acquaintance, I presume, is, my rest to night, thus I spend because I have been more reli- the little remainder of my miser. giously educated, and have done able moments. All the ease I greater despite to the Spirit of expect will be wishing for the Grace. What egregious folly is day, as in the day time I wish for it for dust and ashes to contend the night, and in a fearful expecwith its Creator, to question his tation of my dissolution, and the justice, his power, yea, his very account I must make upon it. being ; when at the same time, But, Gentlemen, good night to without this God, every such you ; and remember me, to conwretch would immediately fall firm you in the religion I have into nothing, being without him disowned, that you may stand not able to exist one moment? more cautiously by my folly, and What vile ingratitude is it scur- secure the happiness I have forrilously to reflect on his religion, feited." who died to reconcile such re- The next day came several of flecters to himself? Do not mis- his friends out of the country. take yourself ; it is not a light Having had an account of his cirmatter to contend with the God cumstances, one of them told him of nature, to abuse religion, and that he and several more of his deny its Author, and (what is relations came to town, and were worst of all) to apostatize from it, sorry to find him in so weak a as I have done. God has met condition as he appeared to be in ; with me for it, after a long form for now he was nothing but skin
and bone; the agonies he lay un- this course under many convicder doing the work of the quick. tions, till my iniquity was ripe est consumption.
for vengeance, and the just judgHe answered, “I am obliged ments of God overtook me, when in common civility to thank you my security was the greatest, and all : but who are my relations? the checks of my conscience Our Saviour said, such as did the were the least. Since I have de. will of his heavenly Father were nied that salvation which cometh his relations. I may properly by Jesus Christ, there is no other say, that none but the Atheists, Mediator or Intercessor for sinthe reprobate, and such as do the ners ; if there be, which is he work of the devil, are my rela: that can redeem my soul from tions. This little tie of flesh and hell, or give a ransom for my blood will dissolve in a moment, life? No, no ; " if we sin wil. but the relation I have with the fully after we have received the damned is permanent. The knowledge of the truth, there resame lot, the same place of tor: mains no more sacrifice for sin, ment, the same exercise of blas- but a fearful looking for of judge phemy, and the same eternity of ment and fiery indignation to horror, will be the common lot consume the adversary.” “There of us all ; so the similitude of remains no more sacrifice for torments, place, and duration, sin,” that is the wound that will join us in a very strict pierces my soul. CHRIST JESUS union."
was the only expiatory sacrifice His friends, who only had God would accept ; I not accepte heard he was distracted, hearing ing, I would say, I despising this, him deliver himself in such there remains no other for me to terms were amazed, and began accept of, no other to make ato inquire of some of us, what tonement and satisfaction for me; made him talk at such a rate ? there is no other name given unHe, hearing them whispering to- der heaven but the name of Jegether, and imagining the cause, sus, whereby we may be saved, called them all to him, and said, and it is that JESUS whom I have
“ You imagine me melancholy reproached, and ridiculed, and or distracted : I wish I were eie abused in his members ; nay, to ther ; but it is part of my judg. whom I have induced others to ment that I am not. No; my do the same. Methinks your apprehension of persons and breasts are all open to me, and, things is rather more quick and in the midst of your pity and vigorous, than it was when I was surprise, you would bid me hope in perfect health ; and it is my and believe, and supplicate the curse, because thereby I am more mercy I have abused, because sensible of the condition I am Jesus Christ came to save sinfallen into. Would you be in- ners, and to bring to repentance. formed why I am become a skel. In that I know all your thoughts. eton in three or four days ? See Alas, how fain would I hope and how then I have despised my Ma- believe ! Can a man in torments ker, and denied my Redeemer; not desire to be freed from them? I have joined myself to the Athe- No, assure yourselves I would ists and profane, and continued upon any terms ; but the wrath Vol. II. No.I.
of God obstructs the power of way, and lay in a swoon for a cons hoping and believing, and though siderable time ; but, by the help I would, I can do neither. I of some spirits, we brought him know not what some divines to himself again.. As soon as he mean, who say, He that desires had opened his eyes, he said, to repent, does it in some measure ; « Oh, cruel, unkind friends, to I experience the contrary. A awaken me from a dream, in fruitless wish that comes not in- which I had a cessation from my to act, is no more than a convic: torments !” This he spoke with tion which shall lay such persons so lively a concern, that no one under great condemnation. You could refrain from tears. “You would have me supplicate that weep," said he, “but your tears mercy I have abused. Alas, of come too late. Was I like a. that I have no hopes, but what de- nother person that goes out of pend upon abused inercy! But the world, it would be one of my why said I hopes? I have no greatest troubles to see you hopes! My hopes are frustrated, weep, or at best it would add to my expectations are cut off ; and my pains ; for he must be unwhat remains behind ? Why am natural and senseless that would I bid to hope and believe? Oh, not be troubled at the afflictions what mockery is this upon me! of others, especially his friends To find ine in misery, and bid me and relations. But the case is be happy, without affording me otherwise with me. My cup is any power of being so! Indeed, full, and runs over already ; the should Jesus Christ say so to bitterness of my soul is as great me, it would be comfort ; but for as it possibly can be in this world ; you to say so, is the same thing my heart is full of horror and anas to bid a malefactor shake off guish ; no grief can add to mine, his chains, and assume his liber. being so great, that it is incapaiy ; or call up the dead to rise ble of receiving more. Perhaps out of their graves, and challenge this may seem a paradox to you their estates and honours again. at first; but what think you of How idle is it to bid the fire not time, and eternity which com. burn when fuel is administered, prehends and swallows up all and to command the seas to be time? Can any one add any smooth in the midst of a storm! thing to the wrath of God, which Such is my case ; and what are includes the fury of devils and the comforts of my friends ? But men; this being derivative from, I am spent, I can complain no and independent of that? And more. Would to God that the can any one add to my grief and cause of my complaining would torture, who am fallen into the cease! The cause of my com- hands of the living God? No, plaining ! this renews my grief, no; reserve your tears for your and summons up the little sins, and cast them not away upstrength I have left to complain on one who is neither the better again, like an expiring blaze, be- nor the worse for them." You fore it is extinguished. It is just may easily imagine what impresso with me : but whither am I sions this would make apon the going?”
spirits of his friends. However, As he said this, he fainted a- in the midst of their grief and
amazement, they had the pru. greatest torment, my punishdence to think of the reputation ment here, is for an example to of their family, and to provide for others. Oh, that there was no as much secresy as was possible. God, or that this God could
They therefore conveyed him cease to be, for. I am sure he by night to new lodgings. But will have no mercy upon me!” he was grown so weak that he - Alas,” said I, “ there is no fainted away several times in contending with our Creatcr, the chair ; they got him into his and therefore avoid such words chamber, and to bed, as soon as as may provoke him more." they could. After a little rest, “True," replied he, there is he yet found strength to express no contendings I wish there himself thus :
were a possibility of getting ." I am not concerned to know above God, that would be a hea. whither you have brought me, ven to me." I entreated him or your reasons for so doing. not to give way to such blaspheIt had been something, if you mous thoughts, for Here had changed my state with my he interrupted me. “Read we lodgings: but my torments are not in the Revelations of them greater than before ; for I see that blasphemed God, because of that dismal hour just at hand, their pains? I am one of their when I must bid you all fare: number. Oh, how do I envy wel."
the happiness of Cain and JuThe physicians were now das ?” -“But,” replied I, “ you sent for again, but they still de- are yet alive, and do not feel the clared they could do nothing for torments of those, that are in him; only they ordered him hell." some cordial julep, which, they He answered, " This is either said, might strengthen nature to true or false ; if it be true, how hold out two or three days longer, heavy will those torments be, of
My business calling me away which I do not yet feel the utfor a day or two, I came again on terinost? But I know it is false, Thursday morning pretty ear: and that I endure more than the ly, when I came in, I inquired spirits of the damned; for I of his friends, how he spent his have the very same torture upon time. They told me he had my spirits that they have, be had little company; and his exs side those I endure in my body, pressions were much , shorter I believe at the day of judgment than before ; but what he did the torments of my mind and speak seemed to have more hor; body will both together be more ror and despair than before. I intense ; but as I now am, no went to his bed-side, and asked spirit in hell endures what I do. him how be did. W :
How gladly would I change my He replied, "Damned and lost condition for hell! How ear forever. I told hini, the de. nestly, would I entreat my angry crees of God were secret; per- Judge to send me thither, were haps he was punished in this I not afraid that out of vengeance life to fit him for a better. He he would deny me!" Here he answered, " They are not secret closed his eyes a little, and be: to me, but discovered, and mý, gan to talk very wildly, every now and then groaning and actor dispose of myself as I gnashing his teeth : but soon pleased; then would my hors after, opening his eyes, he grew rors cease, and the expectations sensible again, and 'feļt his own and designs of my formidable en: pulse, saying, “ How lazily my emies be frustrated. But, oh! minutes go onWhen will be this cannot be, for I. " the last breath, the last pulse, His voice failed again, and ho that shall beat my spirit out of began to struggle and gasp for this decayed mansion, into the breath ; which having recovered, desired regions of death and with a groan so dreadful and hor, hell? Oh! I find it is just now rid, as if it had been more than at hand! and what shall I say human, he cried out, “ OH, THE now? Am not I afraid again to UNSUFFERABLE PANGS OF HELL die ? Ah, the forlorn hopes of AND DAMNATION !” and then him that has not God to go to! expired.
V, D. Nothing to fly to for peace and confort !" Here his speech failed him : we all believing him The confessions and petitions contained to be dying, went to prayer;
in the following PRAYER are perfectly
adapted to the present state of our na which threw him into an agony i tion, and we recommend it to the re, in which, though he could not ligious attention of all our pious speak, he turned away his face, readers. and made what noise he could A PRAYER, EXTRACTED FROM to hinder himself from hearing. BISHOP HALL's “ HOLY ORDER Perceiving this, we gave over. OF MOURNERS IN Sion." . As soon as he could speak, O Our God, thou hast remov. (which was not till after some ed our souls far from peace, thou time) he said, “Tigers and hast most justly filled us with monsters, are ye also become thine indignation ; for we have devils to torment me, and give deserved that thou shouldest pour me a prospect of heaven, to make our iniquities upon us, and my hell more intolerable ?” shouldest bring upon us the fruits
" Alas, Sir," said I," it is our pf our own thoughts, and meas, desire of your happiness that ure our works into our bosoms, casts us down at the throne of and cause us to drink at thy hand grace ; if God denies, assistance, the cup of thy fury; yea, even who else can give it? If he will to have the dregs of the cup of pot have mercy, whither must trembling to be wrung out to us,
for we have walked every one af *He replied, “Oh, that is the ter the imagination of his own dart that wounds me! God is evil heart, Our transgressions. become my enemy, and there is are with us and are multiplied bes none so strong as to deliver me fore thee; and though we have out of his hands. He consigns professed to be humbled under me over to eternal vengeance, thy mighty hand, we have not and there is none able to redeem cried to thee in our hearts, neithme! Was there such another er have we loathed ourselves in God as he, who would patronize our own sight for the evils that my cause ; or was I above God, we have committed ; so that we or independent on him ; could I do now justly lie down in our
we go for it?":