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misleared blackamoor does not know “ A tiff!” cried Mrs Clatterpenny; a word I say, It's a dreadful thing “ do ye no mind what Robin Burns that folk in London town will no
says ?speak the English language. Oh, Mr
"Oh that some power the gift would gie Shortridge, is na this a town ! it's not like our own ancient borough
To see ourselves as others see us.' towns, that were finished afore the rexes were kings, and have not had
But I'll tell ye what ye were like, if a new building in them since.” ye'll show me a man vomiting a de
“Yes,” replied Shortridge, “ folks vil, and his name Legion; however, say that some of them would be none
we have all our infirmities, and I the worse of being mended.”
want at this present time to confabu“Oh, Mr Shortridge,” cried the late with Mr Threeper on a matter of lady, “it's no possible that you, the
instant business, so ye must leave gett of a Lord Provost, can be a re
us." former; but Glasgow, I will allow, “Mr Threeper," continued she, would be none the worse of a refor: after the Glasgow beau had disapmation; 'deed, Mr Shortridge, we peared, “ Mr Threeper, that Mr would all be the better of a reforma- Shortridge is no an overly sensible tion, and ye should'na laugh in your lad, so I hope ye have not let him sleeve at my moralizing."
into the catastrophies of our busiShortridge, who had a salutary ness; for I will be as plain as I am dread of the old woman's tongue, re- pleasant with you; in short, Mr plied, to change the conversation, Threeper, since we came together in that he was only thinking of their the same vessel, I think ye're a wee sufferings in the voyage.
leaky, and given to make causeway “ Aye,” said she, “that's to be held talk of sealed secrets; and surely in remembrance; oh, that dismal ye'll never tell me that this is a fit night, when the wind was roaring house to bring a woman of character like a cotton-mill, and the captain to.” was swearing as if he had been the “ I acknowledge,” said he, " that Prince of the Powers of the Air! I'll it is not quite what I expected; it's never forget it. You and me were more like women than wine-it has like the two innocent babes in the not improved with age." wood, and obligated to sleep on the “ Mr Threeper," said the old lady, floor, with only a rag of a sail fastened "do you mean that as a fling at me ? with a gimlet and a fork, for a parti- ye have a stock of impudence to do tion between us; but, Mr Shortridge, so, but it's all the stock in trade that ye're a discreet young man-nay, ye many lawyers are possessed of; needna turn your head away and however, it may do for a night's think shame, for no young gentle- lodging, but I give you fair warning, man could behave to a lady in a more
that though it's a good house enough satisfactory manner.”
for you, as you said before you saw Shortridge was a good deal net- it, it will never do for the likes o' me. tled at this speech, and turning on
But what I wanted to consult you his heel, said, rather huffily, “ It's all about in a professional way, is a matan invention.”
ter that calls for all your talent; I “Well, well,” replied Mrs Clatter- told a blackamoor man, do ye hear penny,,“ but you'll never deny that me? and telling a blackamoor man to we were objects of pity. There was seek for my cousin, Peabody, ye yourself, Mr Threeper," turning to see"wards the advocate, a man learned “Well, I do see,” replied Mr in the law, and all manner of know- Threeper. ledge known to the Greeks, what a “ You do see! is that all the law sight were ye ? the whale swallowing you have to give me ? but I have not Jonah was as mim as a May pud told you the particulars; he's never dock compared to you; and, Mr come back yet, think of that and Shortridge, ye had a sore time weep; he's like the raven, Mr Threepo't.”
er, that Noah sent out of the ark; Nay, nay,” exclaimed Short- vagabond bird, it was black too, ye ridge, my dear madam, I was not know.” at all ill, only a tiff off the Bass." “ What then?"
“ What then, Mr Threeper, is that fastened by a black ribband, and he all the opinion of counsel that ye wore a bottle-green great-coat, with have to offer to a lanerly widow in large buttons, one of which, on the London town, sorrowing like a peli- haunches, was missing; his waistcan in the wilderness ?"
coat was home-made swansdown, of Poor Mr Threeper knew not large broad stripes, and he had on what to say; experience had taught corduroy trowsers, with his shoes him that his client was driving to- down in the heel, and a cigar in his wards some other object, while pre- mouth, while his hands were busily tending that she was consulting him. employed with a knife and stick, Fortunately, however, at this moment which he was indefatigably making a bustle was heard, and on looking nothing of. towards the occasion, they beheld “ Who is this?” cried Mrs Clatteran odd figure entering the house; an penny; “ what'na curiosity is this ? elderly person, who wore a broad- Yankee Doodle himself is, compared brimmed straw-hat, turned up be- to this man, a perfect composity ; hind, somewhat ecclesiastical, with oh, sirs, but he must be troubled a crape tied round it in a very dis- with sore eyes, for he wears blue heveled manner. He had no neck- specks, and they're of the nose-nipcloth, but the collar of his shirt was ping kind.”
By the time our heroine bad ex- “ And pray, Mister,” said the amined this phenomenon, he had strange-looking man, “ what be she made his way through coaches, carts, called, that 'ere ship what brought crates, trunks, and band-boxes, to the you to this 'ere place ?” place where she was standing talking “ The United Kingdom,” replied to Mr Threeper.
Mr Threeper. “Well,” said the stranger, “I guess But the foreigner, none daunted, if you be’nt some of them, 'ere folks continued, “ She'll be a spacious clewhat have come'd by the steam-boat ver floater, I guess; and I say,old lady, from Scotland state.”
did'nt you hear naught in that 'ere "'Deed, sir,” replied Mrs Clatter- voyage of one Mrs Clatterpenny, penny, “it's no a guess, but a true one of my relations in Scotland say; we are just even now come, and Street.” a' in confusion as yet.”
“ The gude preserve us !" cried the The stranger then turned round to lady; "is na that delightful ? am not I Mr Threeper and said, “I, squire, Mrs Clatterpenny mysel', and is not expect you have brought a right rare this Mr Threeper, my man of busi. cargo of novelties."
ness, a most judicial man ?” Mr Threeper replied in the best “ Well, I reckon as how I do be style of the Parliament House in the Jedediah Peabody of Mount Pisgah, Modern Athens; perhaps we ought to State of Vermont; folks call me call it, for the same reason that the Squire, but I an't myself so 'dainhabitants have changed the name cious." of the town,-the Areopagus.
“Oh, Mr Peabody, my cousin, but “No, sir, none, whatever ; every I am most happy to see you looking thing is going right, the reformers so well; but ye have lost Mrs Peahave all their own way.”
body, worthy lady; she was a loss, "Well, I reckon," continued the Mr Peabody!" odd apparition," that be pretty parti- “ Yes,” said he, "rest her soul, cular, for I can tell you that we have poor creature, she was an almighty here in London a considerable some; ambitious woman; she would have we hear that the Emperator of Rushy her kitchen as spanking as our parhas had an audience of the Great lour.” Mogul, and therefore I guess we " Aye, aye,” continued Mrs Clatshall have a Dutch war.”
terpenny, in the most sympathetic “Oh, Mr Threeper,” exclaimed manner possible, “that shewed she Mrs Clatterpenny,“ síc a constipa- was the bee that made the honey; ye tion that will be !"
see I speak to you with the cordiality
of an old friend--and how is your reloaded, and with glee and comfort lovely daughter ?"
seated beside her cousin, off the ve“Well,” replied the Vermont far- hicle drove for the west end of the mer; “I reckon our Tavy be right town. well, for she's gone a sparking with In going along, the old gentleman that'ere young Tompkins what comes mentioned that he had committed a from Virginy to see the lions; they similar mistake, in thinking the stageare main dreadful creturs.”
coach inn, in which he had come Mrs Clatterpenny was greatly with his daughter to London, was a struck at this intelligence, and cried, proper place to stay at; but on the “I wonder you, a man of discretion, representation of Mr Tomkins, they would let her do the like of that; she bad removed soon after to a lodgingcan do far better, and, Mr Peabody, house in Spring Gardens; and as let me tell you, keep the gear among Mr Threeper spoke of going to us."
Fludyer Street, he proposed that they Mr Threeper, who overheard her, should take Spring Gardens in their whispered, “ Softly, ma'am, softly, way, that he might shew his kinscast not your line too fast." But she woman the house. This was deemdisregarded the admonition, and con- ed a happy thought, and accordingly tinued, “Had it been wi' our Johnny, they went round that way, and he her ain cousin, it would hae been a pointed out to his lodging, and lookmore comely thing."
ing up, saw his daughter with Mr Threeper prudently twitched Tompkins at a window. her gown at this --" I beseech you, be “ Hey,” cried he, “what do I see? on your guard."
our Tavy in a secresy with that ere "I wish, Mr Threeper," said she Virginy chap, Tompkins." tartly," that ye would behave your- Mrs Clatterpenny also looked up, self, and no be pouking at my tail.” and exclaimed, " Megsty me!" To
Mrs Clatterpenny at the same time which Peabody, taking the cigar observing that Peabody was looking from his lips and spitting deliberound the court of the inn, in not rately, said, “ Now, for our daughter the most satisfied manner, added, Tavy to contract herself with a young “ 'Deed it's not a perfect paradise, man, snapping her fingers at her but it's some place that Mr Threeper father—"Mrs Clatterpenny finishread of in a story-book, only they ed the sentence, and cried, “Oh, the forgot to mention that midden ; cutty, has she done the like of that ?” however, I'll no be long here; indeed But Peabody exclaimed, “ I'll spoil I have a great mind to quit it on the their rigg, or my baptismal name is instant, and I will; and how are we written in an oyster shell.” With to get our trunks carried to a Chris- that he alighted from the coach, and tian place ?"
hastened into the house ; and as fast “ Christian place,” said the porter, as his down-the-heeled shoes ena“ Christian place! I don't know any bled him, he went to the room where such place, I was never there.” he saw the lovers standing. Mrs
While she went bustling about the Clatterpenny, turning towards Mr inn-yard, Mr Threeper politely in- Threeper, sagaciously observed, as formed Mr Peabody, that they had the carriage drove off, come to the Talbot, entirely owing “ He's in the afflictions, Mr Threeto a misconception which they had per; but this is just what Mrs Widow made in the reading of Chaucer.”. Carlin warned me of, from a letter
“ Chaucer !” said Peabody, “ did she had from her grandson in New he keep tavern here?”
York; he wrote, that when young Mr Threeper looked at the Ame- folks there make a purpose of marrican, and snuffing, as it were a fetid riage, instead of publishing the banns smell, turned upon his heel, and in a godly manner in the kirk, they went towards Mrs Clatterpenny, make a show of themselves, arm-inwho by this time was frying with arm cleeket, up and down Broadway vexation at not being able to make Street. Talk of irregular marriages! herself understood by the servants; a hey cock-a-lorum to Gretna Green, however, in the end, a hackney is holy wedlock, compared to sic coach was procured, their luggage chambering and wantoning."
Mr Threeper looked very grave at archly, if she had ever given Clatterthis, and said, “ Chambering it can- penny more encouragement than his not strictly be called, for the window merits deserved. was open, and we all saw what took • Merits! what merits ?”' cried place.
Tompkins, turning fiercely round, “ That's very true,” said Mrs Clat- and coming up to her. terpenny, “ the observe shews that “ Why,” said she, “the merit of ye're a man distinct in the law; but being heir to a great estate in Scotfor a young lady of good connexions land; is not that a charm, to win to lay hold of her lover, is highway favour for him in any young lady's robbery. It was bad enough amang eye ?". our ain well-disposed folk at home, At this moment the old gentleman to see a lad and a lass slipping and shuffled into the room, holding his slinking afar off from one another, cigar in one hand, and his statt upthe lassie biting a straw, going to a lifted in the other, crying, “ Sheer corner in the evening. But that, Mr off, Squire Tompkins; and come Threeper, was only among the lower hither, daughter Tavy; upon which orders; the genteeler sort divert the young lady, as an obedient child, themselves in flower gardens, with obeyed the summons, and the Virmaking love among the roses, as that ginian lingeringly walked towards sweet, sweet wee man, Mr Moore, in the door. a ballad rehearses, as no doubt ye “ I'm sure, father,” said Miss Ocwell know. But what will this world tavia, “ you need not be afraid of come to at last! for I weel mind, Tompkins; have you not seen the when my dear deceased Doctor made partiality of my heart for my dear love to me, that he never got a word kinsman Clatterpenny ?” of sense out of my mouth, till I saw Tompkins smote his forehead at that he was in earnest.”
this speech, and cried, “ Oh! the In the meantime, Peabody was devil.” mounting the stairs as fast as he was Well,” said Peabody, “but I exable, with wrathful energy; but be- pect I have promised you to young fore he reached the room, his daugh- squire Shortridge, bekase, you see, ter enquired at Mr Tompkins, as a his father and I are main gracious by continuance of their discourse, if way of letters; however, you know, he knew Mr Archibald Shortridge, Tavy, I ain't a going to trade you, or junior.
make a nigger slave of your affec“ Oh yes," replied the Virginian, . tions." “ my friend Colonel Cyril Thornton “ But,” enquired Miss, “ is he gave me an introduction to his father, heir to such an estate in the Highthe Lord Provost of Glasgow; he islands of Scotland ?” related, I believe, to the Colonel.” “ Oh! mercenary woman,” cried
“ Indeed !” said the young lady; Topmkins; and Peabody answered, “ I'm glad of that, for the Colonel is Well, I'll tell you something. I a nice man, except in writing his guess that 'ere estate ben't surely own life, which gentlemen never do.” his, for 1 here have in my pocket
Tompkins replied a little gravely, these few lines concerning the Old that he could not see why his rela- Scotch Indian Chief what was our tionship to the Colonel should make relation-what call you him, Tavy ?” her so happy
The young lady, rather somewhat But she answered gaily, “ You gravely, replied, “ that his name was know one would not like to have a Hector Dhu of Ardenlochie.” booby for a lover.”
“Well," said the father, “these two “ A lover, Octavia !”
lines tell me what we did not know, “ Father says so, and I am a duti. and says he has kicked the bucket; ful child.”
which, if so be, and the news ain't “ Pshaw!” cried Tompkins, “this erroneous, it adds that we be his inis more wayward than the favour heritors, and not cousin Clatteryou affect to that ninny, Clatter- penny.” penny;", and he swung to the other Tompkins at this rushed forward side of the room.
“ Did you say, Hector The young lady looked after him Dhu of Ardenlochie was dead?” at this antic caper, and inquired "I guess so," replied Peabody;
VOL. XXXIII. NO, CCIII.
and it ben't below the fact; but I thers of the Clatterpennys, or the say, squire, we have business; so you Peabodys. If there be any truth in clear out. This way, Tavy;" and the the traditions of my mother, these old gentleman preceded his daugh- netvs deserve investigation, and ter into another room, leaving Tomp- luckily I took her papers to Scotkins alone; and astonished at what land to examine into the affair; but he had heard, soon after he broke I was told then that Hector Dhu out into the following soliloquy :- was a stout old bachelor, and might
“ În my mother's tales of her an- live so many years, that I never cestors,” said he," she has often thought even of opening the bundles told me, that when Hector Dhu of at Edinburgh.” Ardenlochie died, his estate ought to At this juncture, he alertly left the be mine ; for that she was the child room. of an elder daughter than the mo
It was certainly a very extraordi- they were, though living apart, frenary thing that all those who were quently together. interested in the Ardenlochie inhe- In the meantime, Mrs Clatterpenritance should meet together in the ny had scarcely removed into her way we have described, in the Tal- new lodgings, when she chanced to bot inn in Southwark. Had a novelist recollect that her son Johnny, who or a dramatic writer been guilty of was walking the hospitals, had not so improbable an incident, he would yet paid his duty to her. It is true, have been scouted in the most nefa- that her faculties were so much ocrious manner; but there is no mi- cupied with strange matters, that she racle more wonderful than truth, and had never thought of him at all; but this surprising incident is related by when she did call to mind that he us with as much brevity as is con- was in the same town with her, and sistent with perspicuity.
had never come to see her, she was It is true, that before the day was truly an afflicted woman. She rung done, Mr Archibald Shortridge, ju- for the servant-maid of the house, nior, shifted his quarters to the Lon- and, with accents that would have don Coffee House, in Ludgate Hill, pierced a heart of stone, erranded the much renowned for its hospitable re- damsel to bring to her immediately ception of Glasgow citizens, and her precious darling, other denizens froni the west of Scot- The maid being fresh from the land.
country, repeated the commands that Mr Threeper, before the sun was bad been given to her as well as she set, and it set early, induced the old could to her mistress, but her mislady, as we have related, to pitch her tress averred, that she knew not such tent in Fludyer Street, Westminster; a person as Mr Johnny residing in all while he deemed it becoming his the street. At last the old lady recolprofessional eminence, to take up bis lected that he lived in Tooly Street, abode in an excellent hotel, which in the Borough, and she contrived at we at this moment forget the name a late hour to make that known. But of, but it is a house greatly frequent- no Johnny was forthcoming that ed by those who are called in vulgar night, and his anxious mother never parlance, the claws of Edinburgh-to closed her eyes, thinking that he persay nothing of those myriads of bai- haps had caught a mortal malady in lies, deputies, and other clanjamphry, Guy's Hospital, and greatly lay in who fancy that they have business need of her blandishments. When this before Parliament, when it happens thought had got possession of her that some schemer tells them a road, brain, which it was not allowed to do bridge, or railway, merits the atten- till the right was far advanced, and tion of the collective wisdom of such she had pressed her pillow, she was a nest of sapients as a town council. not long till she ascertained even the
The party being thus broken up, name of his distemper. there was something attractive in the “ Goodness me!” said she, “what influence of each, and in consequence if it's the cholera, and that I have just