The Kaleidoscope: or, Literary and scientific mirror

Poetry.

TO THE EDITOR.

MY DEAR KALEIDOSCOPE,-You are called a funny Fellow; and, in my opinion, very justly. I have a funny friend also, who sent me the following lines, which he copied the last time he visited the Poultry Compter. They are put in large characters, as a caution to the feathered tribe against intemperance and gluttony; and as some of my best friends have been laid up with the gout ever since the Fancy Ball, it may act as a simi. lar caution to them. The author is unknown to you and me; suppose, therefore we call him

Liverpool, 17th April, 1821.

QUACK.

A Duck, who had got such a habit of stuffing,
That all the day long she was panting and puffing;
And to ev'ry creature who did her great crop see,
Was thought to be galloping fast to a dropsy.

One day, after eating a plentiful dinner,
With full twice as much as should have been in her;
Whilst up to the neck in the gutter a soaking,
She was much alarm'd with the symptoms of choking.
There was an old fellow, much fam'd for discerning;
A Drake, who had taken a fancy for learning;
And high in repute with his feathery friends,
Was styl'd Doctor Drake-to this Doctor she sends.
In a hole in the dunghill was Doctor Drake's shop,
Where he kept a few simples for curing the crop;
Some gravel and pebbles to help the digestion,
And certain fam'd herbs of the Doctor's selection.
Se taking a handful of comical things,
And brushing his topple, and pluming his wings,
And setting his feathers in apple-pie order,
He set out to prescribe for the lady's disorder.
"Dear Sir," says the Duck, with a delicate quack,
And turning a little way round on her back,
And leaning her head on a stone in the yard,
My case, Doctor Drake, is exceedingly hard:

I feel so distended, with wind so oppress'd, "So squeamish and faint, such a load at my chest ; "And day after day, I assure you it is hard

To suffer, with patience, these pains in my gizzard." "Give me leave," says the Doctor, with medical look, As her flabby cold paw in his fingers he took;

"By the feel of your pulse, your complaint, I've been thinking,

Is caus'd by your habits of eating and drinking." "Oh! no, Sir, believe me," the lady replied, Alarm'd for her stomach as well as her pride; "I'm sure it arises from nothing I've eat, But I rather suspect I got wet in the feet.

I've only been raking a bit in the gutter, "Where the cook had been throwing some cold melted butter,

"A slice of green cabbage, and scraps of cold meat; Just a trifle or two that I thought I could eat."

The Doctor was just to his business proceeding,
With gentle emetic, and blister, and bleeding;
When all on a sudden she turn'd on her side,
Gave a horrible quack, a struggle, and died!!
Her remains were interr'd in a neighbouring swamp,
By her friends, with a great deal of funeral pomp ;
But I've heard this inscription her grave-stone is put on,
"Here lies Mrs. Duck, the notorious glutton:"
And all the young ducklings are brought by their friends,
To see the disgrace in which gluttony ends.

ON MR. KEAN'S HAMLET.

LINES BY MR. ALSTON.

(From an American Journal.)

Oh, thou, who standest mid the bards of old,
Like Chimborazo, when the setting sun
Has left his hundred mountains dark and dun,
Sole object visible, th'imperial one,
In purple robe and diadem of gold-
Immortal Shakspeare! who can hope to tell,

With tongue less gifted, of the pleasing sadness
Wrought in thy deepest scenes of woe and madness?
Who hope by words to paint the ecstatic gladness
Of spirits leaping mid thy merry spell?
When I have gazed upon thy wondrous page,
And seen, as in some necromantic glass,
Thy visionary forms before me pass,
Like breathing things of every living class,
Goblin and hero, villain, fool, and sage.

It seem'd a task that not Bonarotti's e'en,
Nor Raffaelli's hand could master by their art,
To give the semblance of the meanest part
Of all thy vast creation, on the heart
Touch as thou touchest with a kindred scene.
And vainer still, methought, by mimic tone,
And feigned look and attitude and air,
The actor's toil; for self will have its share
With nicest mimicry; and though it spare
To others largely, gives not all its own.
So did I deem, till, living to my view,
Scorning his country while he sought her good,
In Kemble forth the unbending Roman stood;
Till, snuffing at the scent of human blood,.
In Cooke strode forth the unrelenting Jewt.
But these were beings tangible in vice,
Their purpose searchable; their every thought
Index'd in living men; yet only sought,
Plain as they seem, by genius; only bought
By genius even, with laborious price.
But who, methought, in confidence so brave,
Dofting himself, shall dare that form assume
So strangely mix'd of wisdom, wit, and gloom-
Playful in misery, even at the tomb-

Of hope, distinct, of faith and doubt, the slave?
That being strange, that only in the brain

Perchance has lived-yet still so rarely knit
In all its parts-is wisdom to its wit,
And doubt to faith, loathing to love, so fit
It seem'd like one that liv'd and lives again!
Who then dare wear the princely Denmark's form?
What starts before me ?-Ha! 'tis he I've seen
Oft in a day-dream, when my youth was green-
The Dane himself the Dane! who says 'tis Kean?
Yet, sure, it moves, as if its blood were warm.
If this be Kean, then Hamlet liv'd indeed!
Look how his purpose hurries him apace,
Seeking a fitful rest from place to place:
And yet his trouble fits him with a grace
As if his heart did love what makes it bleed,
He seems to move as in a world ideal.

A world of thought, where wishes have their end
In wishing merely, where resolves but spend
Themselves resolving; as his will did lend
Not counsel e'en his body to defend,

Or Kean, or Hamlet; what I see is real!

FAREWEL ADDRESS TO SAVANNAH: BY A BUENOS-AYREAN.

[Inserted at the request of a Correspondent.]

Farewel, O Savannah! for ever farewel!
Thou hot-bed of rogues, thou terestrial hell,
Where Satan has fixed his head-quarters on earth,
And outlaw'd integrity, wisdom, and worth;
Where villany thrives, and where honesty begs;
Where folly is purse-proud, and wisdom in rage;
Where a man is worth nothing, except in one sense,
Which they always compute in pounds, shillings, and
pence;

Where the greatest freeholder is holder of slaves,
And he that has most, about freedom most raves;
Where they'd worship a calf, if like Aaron's of old;
Where the D-1 may reign, if his sceptre be gold;
Where *** against knavery is constantly bawling
(For they seldom agree, who pursue the same calling)
With bailiffs he drives every rogue from the town,
Determined to put all competitors down;
Where even the churches, subservient to gain,
Are bought in by brokers, to sell out again;
Each pew is a lucrative turnpike to heaven,
At which an exorbitant toll must be given;
At fifty per cent you must purchase salvation,
For the rich have monopolised all that's in fashion:
Where the most approv'd tests of a gentleman are,
The taste of his wine, and a Spanish cigar;
If those recommend, he's a gentleman sure,
Though a fool or a rogue, whether Christian or Mot
Where your friend must compute, ere he asks you die,
First your value to him, next the cost of his wine;
Then if it appears he will not be a winner,
You may go to old Nick, not to him, for a dinner:
Where the girls cannot tell if they'll scorn you er vel

you,

Without pencil and slate, to subtract and to add you:
They make a shrewd bargain, miscalled matrimony
("Tis a mercantile business, a matter of moncy;)
For a union in wedlock, in friendship, and trade
Are alike by the rules of arithmetic made;
Each nation is mark'd by some national crime;
Man's vices, like plants, have their soil and their alia;
But the soil of Savannah new vigour imparts
To vices, transplanted from all other parts
Oh! cursed be the wind that blew me to your strand,
Your houses are boards, and your alleys are and
Oh! still may your beds be the moss of your treest
Long life to your bed-bugs, the same to your fees;
May all your free citizens, wealthy or poor,
Be bribed for their votes, as they've been hereke
May every quack doctor be patroniz'd still.
And his talents be judged by the length of his bille
May all your quack lawyers find hire for their
And their brains get applause that is due to their
May your miserly merchants still cheat you
Who, with scarce any brains, show a great ded
To finish my curses on your cursed city,
And sum in four words the whole sense of my y
Hear, cursed Savannah! a curse that is far
The worst of all curses, remain as you ARE.
Baltimore, April 21.

Antiquities.

NOTES

TO THE “BRIEF JOURNAL OF THE SI OF LATHOM HOUSE,

Which appeared in three Numbers of our prod Volume; see pages 145, 153, and 169.

(1) James Stanley, 7th Earl of Derby, was the son of that Sir William Stanley, whose adve during an absence of twenty-one years from his land, are so fully set forth in many popular bisc and garlands. When Ferdinando, the 5th Earl of by, was assassinated, April, 1594, Sir W next brother, with some difficulty, and after nach lay, obtained the family estates. Stow inform on the 25th January, 1594-5, William, Earl of was married with great pomp, at Greenwith, t daughter of Edward Vere, the 17th Earl of Ox At this period the Earl was in his 32d year. ja

not the tuft on the chin usual in King Charles's days.
The face is a very remarkable one; and whilst in some
portraits you fancy him the possessor of that quiet and
determined courage for which he has been so renowned,
and of that serene and tranquil piety in which his whole
life was passed, by other artists he is given with a dark
and troubled expression of face, leading us almost to
believe the popular tradition, that there were moments
when he was not wholly himself.
There exist many portraits of this great nobleman
at Knowsley, at Lyme; and at Lord Clarendon's the
best may be found and of engravings, excepting Lo-
gans and the one in the illustrious portraits, I have seen
none worthy of attention.

Granger has fallen into a mistake respecting this Earl of Derby, he gives a short biography of his later actions, and assigns to Charles, Earl of Derby, the early part of his father's life, supposing that he was the Lord Strange who summoned Lancashire, 1642. Lloyd has, with his usual carelessness, made a similar anachronism.

[To be continued.]

Musical Notices.

TO THE EDITOR.

SIR,-The inclosed article appears to me to be a suit-
ble trifle for the next Kaleidoscope. Next week, the
Vocal Powers are to be the grand attraction in thit
town; therefore, Apollo and the Muses are appropri-
ate subjects for the ensuing interesting occasion.
Should you honour my little communication with a
place in your next, you will much oblige,

Sir, yours, very respectfully,
A Constant Subscriber,
A. R. K.

vol. 2.) There were singular circumstances connected | Lord Strange had now, for nearly twelve years, enwith this marriage. Lord Oxford had, for his first joyed the Lieutenancy of Lancashire, Cheshire, and wife, Anne Cecil, dau hter to the great Lord Bur-Flint; and, during this period, had endeavoured to leigh; and, when that minister refused, at his instance, follow in the steps of Edward, 3d Earl of Derby, who, to intercede on behalf of the condemned Duke of in the most unsettled times (1521-1572) by removing Norfolk, Lord Oxford revenged himself by deserting himself from the court and its politics, by the most his wife and family, dismantling his houses, and laying princely hospitality and unblemished loyalty, passed a waste his estates; so that the Countess of Derby's por-life in honour and usefulness. James, Earl of Derby, tion was paid by her grandfather, Lord Burleigh. thus speaks of his ancestor in the treatise referred to William, Earl of Derby, had, by this union, three above: " But for patterne, follow Edward; who left sons, and as many daughters: of these, two of the lat-so excellent a name behinde him, that no vice or fault ter, and one of the former, died young. Lady Anne, is of him at all remembered. He was ever faithful the youngest, married twice. Sir Robert Stanley, K. to the crowne; and took great glory in it, which I pray B. who, as Reynolds informs us, in the dedication of may be your pride." He was an excellent econothe 6th book of God's Judgments against Murther," | mist;" "to maintaine which, he looked carefully to his accompanied his elder brother, James, then Lord estate; for he never exceeded his comings in, and died Strange, abroad; married Elizabeth, daughter of Sir rich." The countrey was his home; but he was noe Arthur Gorges; and, fixing his residence at Chelsea, stranger to the court. He was familiar, but not cheape. called his mansion Stanley House. He died 3d Jan. He was observed to weare the plainest clothes, but al1632, and was interred in the church, at Chelsea, on ways in the fashion; not too much, or too little; or too the 23d of the same month. A monument, with a soon, or too late. Enquire more of him, and you will bust and epitaph, still record the affection of his sur- learn more by him." The proceedings of the Earl of viving friends; but this branch of the family became Derby, in his voluntary retirement from public life, extinct in the next generation; and, after having had were such as to cause suspicions of his loyalty on the many possessors, and undergoing great alterations, part of the court, so deeply rooted, that (as it appears Stanley House is now in the occupation of a physician. from Clarendon) his blood was hardly sufficient to ef(Lysons Environs, vol 2, p. 103-125-It is proba-face them. He placed in almost all his livings men of ble that James (Lord Strange) received the rudiments austere piety: these, and especially Herle, the Rector of education from some teacher in his native county; of Winwick, afterwards became his greatest enemies. for, in those days, public schools and universities were He stayed away when Strafford was voted to death; little resorted to by the wealthier nobility. He then though it must be remarked, that, in his treatise, be went abroad to learn the languages. Of the time thus protests against the measure. He did not in any manspent he makes the following mention, in a treatise ner attend upon the King, until his accumulating difaddressed to his son Charles (Lord Strange:") "You ficulties drove him to York. Then his hospitality was have already received the benefit of your mothers lau- unbounded, and of a character not very gratifying to the guage, so as you need not travel (as I and others have Presbyterians, who, so late as 1645, made great offers, done) to pass our time forwards, while we lost so to induce him to compromise his loyalty. To these much of our life to have studied men and manners.' grounds of suspicion may be added, that he was no On his return he married; and, for a time, entered very distant heir to the crown. It is not my intention deeply into the gateties of the court. His house is to trace the difficulties which these fatal jealousies mentioned by the Marquis of Basompiere as open to sowed in the path of the Earl: suffice it, that he died distinguished foreigners; and the name of his illus-on the scaffold, at Bolton, 1651, about the 55th year trious Lady frequently occurs amongst those, who, of his age, and left behind him a great and glorious with the Queen, "took parts in the masques, and other name, which seems not likely to be sullied in our days. diversions of the palace. The Countess of Derby died He was a man of undoubted learning and great cain the year 1626; and, though Lord Strange had the pacity; and had attained a rare eloquence in the extitle of Lord of the Isle of Man, Chamberlain of Ches- pression of his thoughts, wherein we are left to ader, &c.t yet his mother managed the estates, "by mire how the Christian and the politician can be so ertain agreements between her and my father, and, blended together. Clarendon has accused him of a take it, ordered by King James, that blessed peace- haughtiness and inactivity. To be reserved and menaker, that her Ladyship should have the full dispo-lancholy in times of civil war was no fault in Lord al thereof for certain years." In an official comniu- Faulkland; and why should it be charged upon one cation made by William (Earl of Derby) to King almost as accomplished, and quite as brave and honest Charles the 1st, that he had given the Bishoprick of as that Lord, whom the Chancellor has, at such length, Man to William Forster-(Rymur, vol. 19, Dec. 26, eulogized? Inactivity is the most false charge that 1935, 9 Parl. Carl. 1.) the strange tenure by which he could be devised against Lord Derby; and posterity consented to regain those honours of his family then will wonder how he could for a day sustain the cause AN EPIGRAM OF CALLIMACHUS GIVES THE ATTRI aabeyance amongst the coheiresses of Earl Ferdinando, in Lancashire, when the King had taken the flower of more forcibly expressed than above. "Ac jam de- his tenantry, and almost all his ammunition, and sent Bò in constlus Parliamentarûs Principis magnifici Pa-him thus unprovided, not to oppose, as Clarendon Majestatis vestre elementissimi, armo regni sui Anglie septimo, tentis, per eundem Dominum Regem ordines in eisdem comitüs congregatos, sancitum sit stabilitum, quod predictus subditus vester, et Eliabetha ejus conjux jam defuncta, ad terminum vile orum et vite diucius eorum viventis, &c. (the usual eirship is then ordered) libere tenerent, habirent, et poirentur, &c. A similar interference in the Earl of shrewsbury's affairs, by Queen Elizebeth, is upon retord; but King James was actuated by less honourable motives than his predecessor, and more than one instance of the familiarities which passed betwen the Countess of Derby and himself have come down to b. Lodge's Illustrations]-The old Earl, retiring to a house on the banks of the Dee, transferred, with the exception of £1000 a year, the whole of his possessions to James Lord Strange (1637) and there quietly awaited that change, which in youth he had so often dared by distant travel and in perilous encounter. An entry in the Corporation-books of Congleton, of the date 1642, shows that he was then entertained by that town, and The sum of 99. 4d, expended in wine. On the night of Sunday, Sept. 25th, in the same year, he died, Vicars arms (Jehovah Jiveh, p. 174) of a broken heart, caused by his sons' exertions in favour of the King; but it would be easy to show there was no difference of opion between these loyal noblemen in this respect.

affirms, persons of ignoble birth and mean fortunes,
but a great portion of the ancient gentry, and the
body of the yeomanry of the county.
In person,
Lord Derby was rather below the common size
of men; of an athletic make, his countenance was
one of those old Stanley faces which we love to
look upon as they darken in their dingy frames
over the mantle-pieces of ancient inns, and asso-
ciate with them deeds of chivalry as enduring as the
history of that country with whose annals their names
are so proudly associated. The most remarkable fea-
ture, and in this he somewhat differs from his family,
is the almost total want of forehead, which is rendered
more remarkable by the combing of his lank brown
hair straight down: this hangs behind, long, but little
curled, and is far from being a graceful addition to his
portrait. The eyes are sunk in the head, large, and of
a clear brown, not sparkling, but full of a grave and
almost melancholy expression. There is a remarkable
difference in pictures as to the placing of the eyebrows;
in some they are high and arched, and have a very va-
cant appearance; in others, near and even, as though
the possessor of them had passed an unruffled life.
The nose is large, but not in the least degree aquiline,
the latest paintings represent his cheeks full and ruddy
with no marks of age. He wore mustachios, but had

The ward of the magnificent Woolsey here receives an ain-
become testimony to his hospitality and grandeur. The account
ple eulogium from his descendant; and Holinshead has already
Fox gives of the part he took in bringing the accomplished and
holy Marsh to the stake, is a dark reverse to all these bright
praises.

Liverpool, April 19, 1821.

FOR THE KALEIDOSCOPE.

THE HUMAN VOICE;

AND

THE MUSES.

BUTES OF THE MUSES IN AS MANY LINES.

CALLIOPE the deeds of heroes sings,
Great CLIO Sweeps of history the strings;
EUTERPE teaches MIMES their silent show;
MELPOMENE presides o'er scenes of woe;
TERPSICORE the flute's soft power displays;
And ERATO gives hymms, the gods to praise ;
POLYHYMIA's skill inspires melodious strains;
URANIA, wise, the starry course explains,
And gay THALIA's glass points where folly reigns.

Fulgentius informs us, from various ancient au-
thors," that Apollo was painted with a Cithera of ten
strings, as a symbol of the union of the God with the
Nine Muses, and to show that the human voice is
composed of ten parts; of which the first are the
front teeth, placed one against the other, so useful
for the appulse of the tongue in forming sounds,
that without any one of them, a whistle would be pro-
duced instead of a voice; the fifth and sixth are the
two lips, like cymbals, which, by being struck against
each other, greatly facilitate speech; the seventh is
the tongue, which serves as a plectrum to articulate
sounds; the eighth is the pulate, the concave of
is the throat, and performs the part of a Blute; and
of which forms a belly to the instrument; the ninth
the tenth, the lungs, which supply the place of hel
lows,"
A. R.K.

Scientific Records.

[Comprehending Notices of new Discoveries or Improvements in Science or Art; including, occasionally, singular Medical Cases; Astronomical, Mechanical, Philosophical, Botanical, Meteorological, and Mineralogical Phenomena, or singular Facts in Natural History, Vegetation, &c.; Antiquities, &c.; to be continued in a Series through the Volume.]

Mr. Belzoni lately invited a small party of scientific persons to witness the opening and unfolding of a mummy, and to view some other Egyptian curiosities, previously to his completion of the interesting fac simile of the tombs which he is preparing at Bullock's Museum. Dr. Baillie, and other most distinguished anatomists were present. The subject appeared to be the remains of a young man; the mummy measured four feet nine inches; it was perfect in every part, and the linen in which it was rolled was still fresh and sound. Mr. Bel

zoni also unrolled the mummy of a monkey, one of the idols worshipped by the Egyptians, which was also perfect. The company had an opportunity of inspecting a variety of the curious relics which this indefatigable traveler has rescued from oblivion, and of seeing the progress of his intended exhibition, which will be most curious, as it will convey to every spectator a view of the tombs, in a way much more satisfactory than any description could convey. The figures are all as large as the original; and to prove that the colours are as vivid, portions of the original are also brought home to be presented to the eye in comparison with the facsimile imitations. It will afford a complete idea of the state of the arts in Egypt at that early period of the world.

At the last meeting of the Royal Society of Edinburgh, there was presented to the museum of that body, by the Marchioness of Huntley, a magnificent specimen of Madrepore, about two feet four inches in diameter, and, we believe, the largest in the kingdom. This interesting object of natural history is in a state of excellent preservation; and its magnitude is such, that eight men experienced great difficulty in carrying it to the Society's apartments.

A late number of the Carlisle Patriot states, that a member of Mr. Lowry's family, of Stanwix, going lately into one of the parlours, was rather alarmed by a smell of burning. On examination, it was discovered that the sun's rays, concentrated by a glass globe which contained Gold Fish, had ignited the green table-cover. Although this, as the Editor remarks, may be singu lar when the time of year is taken into consideration, similar accidents have frequently arisen from the same cause in the heat of summer.

WOOD ENGRAVING.

The first engraving on wood, of which there is any record in Europe, is that of "The Actions of Alexander," by the two Cunios, executed in the year 1285 or 1286. The engravings are eight in number, and in size about nine inches by six. In a frontispiece, decorated with fanciful ornaments, there is an inscription, which states the engravings to have been by "Alles. sandro Alberico Cunio, Cavaliere, and Isabella Cunio, twin brother and sister; first reduced, imagined, and attempted to be executed in relief, with a small knife, on blocks of wood, made even and polished by this learned sister: continued and finished by us together, at Ravenna, from the eight pictures of our invention,

painted six times larger than here represented; en: graved, explained by verses, and thus marked upon the paper, to perpetuate the number of them, and to

South-east.................. 0 South............

43.8

44.2 61.0

West
North-west ................ 3
Variable .................. 2

Calm

Lowest, which took place on the 23d
Difference of the extreme......
Greatest variation in twenty-four hours, which
occurred on the 5th.......

RAIN, &c. 2.625 Inches.

32.0

36.0

menon of tragic excellence! this star of Melpomene! this comet of the stage! this sun of the firmament of the Muses! this moon of blank verse! this queen and princess of tears! this Donellan of the poisoned bow this empress of the pistol and dagger! this chaos of Shakespear! this world of weeping clouds! this Jurs of commanding aspects! this Terpsichore of the cur tains and scenes! this Proserpine of fire and earthquake! this Katterfelto of wonders! exceeded expec tation, went beyond belief, and soared above all the natural powers of description! She was nature itself! She was the most exquisite work of art! she was the very daisy, primrose, tuberose, sweetbriar, furze-blas som, gilliflower, wallflower, 'cauliflower, auricula, and rosemary! In short, she was the bouquet of Parnas sus! Where expectation was raised so high, it was thought she would be injured by her appearance; but it was the audience who were injured! several fainted before the curtain drew up! but when she came to the scene of parting with her wedding ring, ah what a sight was there! the very fiddlers in the orchestra, "albeit, unused to the melting mood," blubbered like hungry children crying for their bread and butter; and when the bell rang for music between the the tears ran from the basoon-players' eyes in such

South-west ...............17 Boisterous.................. 3 plentiful showers, that they choked the finger stops; and, making a spout of the instrument, poured in such torrents on the first fiddler's book, that, not seeing the overture was in two sharps, the leader of the band s tually played in one flat. But the sobs and sighs of the groaning audience, and the noise of the corks drawn from the smelling bottles, prevented the mistake be tween the flats and sharps being discovered. One hundred and nine ladies fainted; forty-six went icta fits; and ninety-five had strong hysterics!!! The world will scarcely credit the truth, when they are told that fourteen children, five old women, one hundred tailors, and six conmon-council men, were actually drowned in the inundation of tears that flowed fram the galleries, the slips, and the boxes, to increase the briny pond in the pit! the water was three feet deep, and the people that were obliged to stand upon the benches were in that position up to their ankles in tears! An Act of Parliament against her playúgarv more will certainly pass."

Number of wet days ...........18 foggy days ............... 4 snowy .................... 3 haily 2 REMARKS.-March 1st, copious fall of snow, during last night, which was melted in the course of the day: 3d, much rain in the evening: 15th, foggy morning, fine clear day; in the evening a large faint halo round the moon: 17th, hard frost and ice on the ground in the morning; in the evening, rain: 18th, hail and rain showers, attended with violent gusts of wind from the north and north-west: 19th, hail, snow, and sleet, with frequent gusts of wind: 20th (the vernal equinox) fine day, but the wind very strong from the north-west: 24th, rain at intervals during the day, but copious at bed-time.

Bridge-street, 14th April, 1821.

Miscellanies.

THE QUEEN OF TEARS.

The following hyperbolical morceau, which appeared many years since, in a Dublin newspaper, has been recommended to our notice, as likely to amuse, at least, the laughter-loving portion of our readers:

"On Saturday, Siddons, about all world has been talking, exposed her bwhom the mantine, soft, and lovely person, for the first time, at enable us to present them to our relations and friends, Smock-alley Theatre, in the bewitching, melting, and in testimony of gratitude, friendship, and affection. all-tearful character of Isabella. From the repeated All this was done and finished by us when only six-panegyrics in the impartial London newspapers, we teen years of age."-This account, which was given by Papillon, who saw the engravings, has been much were taught to expect the sight of an heavenly angel; disputed; but Mr. Ottley, in his late valuable work, but how were we supernaturally surprised into the

SNUFF-TAKING.

In an Essay on Noses, in the last number of the N Monthly Magazine, the following remarks occur an the habit of taking snuff:

"As a friend to noses, of all denominations, mast bere enter my solemn protest against a barbarous abuse to which they are too often subjected, by converting them into dust-holes and soot-bags, under the fashian able pretext of taking snuff, an abomination for which have been included in the articles of bis impeachment. Sir Walter Raleigh is responsible, and which ought?)

When some "Sir Plume, of amber snuff-box just vain," after gently tapping its top, with a look of plomatic complacency, embraces a modicum of its O contents with his finger and thumb, curves round his hand, so as to display the brilliant on his little bager, and commits the high-dried pulvilio to the air, so tki: nothing but its impalpable aroma ascends into his tour graceful foppery; but, when a filthy, clammy ser we may smile at the custom, as a harmless and not post is perpetually thrust up the nostrils with a ve racious pig-like snort, it is a practice as disgusting ta the beholders, as I believe it to be injurious to the h fender. The nose is the emunctory of the brain; and

When its functions are impeded, the whole system of the head becomes deranged. A professed snuff-taker is generally recognizable by his total loss of the sense of smelling, by his snuffling and snorting, by his pale sodden complexion, and by that defective modulation of the voice called, talking through the nose; though it

is, in fact, an inability so to talk, from the partial or total stoppage of that passage. Not being provided with an ounce of civet, I will not suffer my imagination to wallow in all the revolting concomitants of this dirty

Physicians in Spain.-In the present day the fee of a Physician is 2d. from the tradesman, 10d. from the man of fashion, and nothing from the poor. Some noble families agree with the physician by the year, paying him annually four score reals, that is, 16s. for his attendance on them and their families.

taken in Spain, the actual population amounts to 13
Population of Spain.-According to the last census
millions, including the Balearic Isles and Canaries. Po-
pulation of Madrid, 280,000, exclusive of the clergy;
Barcelona, 115,000; Cadiz, 75,000: Granada, 485,000;
Balearic Isles, 278,000; Canaries, 520,000.

dation and encouragement of an enlightened public. We have been induced to offer these remarks in reference to a species of workmanship which has always had a high place in our estimation, in consequence of our having more closely inspected some of the numerous objects in the collection now exhibiting in this town. And we consider it simply a point talents and industry are here unitedly displayed, to of justice to the merits of the female Artist, whose speak of her performances as well calculated, by both ty to repay the attention of the candid and intelligent their extraordinary variety and characteristic ingenui. trick; but I cannot refrain from an extract, by which we visitor. Perfectly aware of the difficulties and dismay form some idea of the time consumed in its perBritannia on Copper Coins.-To Charles II. for his advantages with which Madame Tussaud has had formance."Every professed, inveterate, and incupartiality to his accomplished cousin, Frances Stuart, we to contend, in the process of conveying such a rable snuff-taker," says Lord Stanhope, "at a mode- owe the elegant representation of Britannia on our cop-multiplicity of subjects (made up of fragile and rate computation, takes one pinch in ten minutes. per coin. He admired and even idolized this celebrated deteriorative components) from one end of the kingEvery pinch, with the agreeable ceremony of blow-beauty, and assailed her with compliments. It was from dom to the other, we are to consider the great sugand wiping the nose, and other incidental circum-one of the medals struck to perpetuate his admiration periority which the busts possess over the other parts of her delicate symmetry, that Britannia was stamped of the figures, only with the view of accounting for tances, consumes a minute and a half. One minute in the form she still bears on our half-pence and far- any discoverable want of just symmetry and anatoand a half out of every ten, allowing sixteen hours to things. mical want of proportion in the latter, as mainly snuff-taking day, amounts to two hours and twentyur minutes out of every natural day, or one day out also be ascribed the deficiency of appropriate atobvious, they must be reduced. To a like cause may arising from the state of compression to which, it is Every ten. One day out of every ten amounts to dirty-six days and a half in a year. Hence, if we suptitude, which is perhaps to be discerned in some figures, otherwise unexceptionable, as well for corwe the practice to be persisted in for forty years, two rectuess of design, as resemblance to their originals. tire years of the snuff-taker's life will be dedicated tickling his nose, and two more to blowing it." aken medicinally, or as a simple sternutatory, it may excused; but, the moment your snuff is not to be tezed at, you are the slave of a habit which literally akes you grovel in the dust; your snuff-box has seized 14 as St. Dunstan did the devil; and, if the red-hot Ecers with which he performed the feat could ocally start up from an Ormskirk snuff-box, it light have a salutary effect in checking this nasty pronity among our real and pseudo fashionables."

de "Suppose, Sir (said Boswell to Dr. Johnson, te having put the case of one who was accused of forgA will, and who had sunk himself into the Thames ore the trial of its authenticity came on) that a man sblutely sure that if he lives a few days longer he l be detected in a fraud, the consequence of which be utter disgrace and expulsion from society." hason replied, Then, Sir, let him go abroad to a ant country; let him go to some place where he is known, don't let him go to the devil where he is

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which by means of steam, not only warms the room,
A mechanic has invented a machine for seminaries,
but flogs all the boys, on a general scale!

Singular Notice.-There is painted on a board near Middleton, Lancashire, the following emphatic and peremptory caution: Whoever is found trespassing in these grounds, will be shot dead without further

notice."

Longevity.-At a Dissenting place of worship in the West-riding of Yorkshire, upwards of 63 years ago, municants at the sacrament; they all lived to old age thirteen serious persons were admitted to join the comwithout a speck in moral character, and there is at this time four of them living, whose united ages amount to upwards of 330 years.-There is a man now living, who was born in the parish of Kingston, near Hereford, on the 8th December, 1702. He is consequently of the extraordinary age of 118.

Among the different groups, we observed none witir more pleasure than that of Henry IV. of Franca and the Duke of Sully. The heads are finely copied from authentic statues, and every feature reveals the touch of a masterly hand; there is a colloquial hveliness in the disposition of these two figures, and dential frankness beaming in the countenance of the we are prompted to admire the majestic and confiVanquisher, of the League," and the noble simplicity and revential ingenuousness impressed on the li neaments of that honourable favourite whose services and justly valued qualities gave confirmation to the adage of Bon ministre, bon Roi. To a native of the same country, but of another age, and of a very different school we next turn our eyes; and Voltaire Morel, a French writer of eminence, who died in presents a striking portrait, replete with intellec1638, at the age of 78, sacrificed every thing to study.tual expression of visage, and with corporeal meaBeing informed that his wife was in the act of expiring, greness-" a combination and a form indeed," that he refused to quit his pen till he had finished what he reminded us of the well-known epigram, addressed was about, and by that time news was brought him that she was dead; to which he coolly replied, I am sorry extempore, to that philosopher, by Dr. Young, for it; she was a good woman! "Thou art so wicked, profligate, and thin, "Thou seem'st a Milton with his death and sin.' The lovely Madame St. Arumanthe is a very well imagined and captivating piece of art. To look on it long, we deem it to breathe

Fine Arts.

MADAME TUSSAUD'S EXHIBITION.

The following article on the merits of this elegant exhibition, now open in Liverpool, is copied from a provincial newspaper, and we doubt not, its impartiality will recommend it to attention.-Edit.

"There is scarcely a branch of the Fine Arts whose
productions are more interestingly illusive, or through
whose instrumentality results of a more instructive

The following Epitaph on Thomas à Becket is given nature are obtained, than that of modeling. Inferior
Roger, in the Chronicles of England:

thousand hundred, seauenty one it was, Men Primate Thomas with the sworde was slain : Le feste of Christmas from the worlde did passe

is world's fair flower, whose fruit with God doth reigne."

BLUNDERS OF ARTISTS,

to sculpture itself, only in the arduousness of
execution, and in the durability of the thing wrought,
it is capable of giving to the material eniployed an
assimilation with the appearances of animated nature,
as especially evinced in specimens of the human
form, far transcending what can be singly accom-
plished by the proudest labours of the chisel, or by
the pencil's happiest efforts, And if to the illustra
Brengheli, a Dutch painter, in a picture of the tion of scientific truth, the plastic and pictorial skill
tern Magi, drew the Indian King in a large white of the modeler has been applied with a vividness of
plice, with boots and spurs, and bearing in his hand,
present to the holy infant, the model of a Dutch effect, and with a minuteness of accuracy, which are
ty-four-gun ship.-On an altar-piece at Capua, in the highest degree satisfactory, surely we may be
Virgin is seated in a rich arm-chair, of crimson
vet, with gold flowers; a cat and parrot are placed
ar her, extremely attentive to the scene; on a table
a silver coffee-pot and cup!

permitted to urge, that its subserviency to the less
important, but more generally attractive and equally
successful purposes of personal representation may
be ranked among its fair pretentious to the commen-

"And that the veins did verily bear blood; "The very life seems warm upon her lip." "Two other incumbent figures; the Princess de Lam balle, and Madame Barre, are extremely beautiful, and highly finished. The Count de Lorge is a fine piece of phisiognomy. There is an excellent likeness of the brave and houest Blucker. The figure, of Mrs. Siddons is a very effective and commanding, representation of that celebrated Tragedian. And though last in this brief selection, yet not least in our favourable regard, as a good model, an admirable deception, and a faithful likeness, be it allowed us to mention the Artiste (Madame TUSSAUD) taken by herself, of whose extensive and entertaining Museum our circumscribed limits now compel us for the present to take leave."

"When the above exhibition was at Manchester, a lively lady, after making her observations on the several figures, came to one of an officer, "Well, sir, said she, with great naiveté,“ and pray who are you? To her great surprise and confusion, the supposed model, bowed very politely, and replied, “* My name, Madam, is Captain B, of the regiment, and very much at your service." On recovering herself, the lady wittily observed, "I beg pardon, Captain, for my mistake, and must confess, that in the involuntary compliment which I have paid to the exhibition, I cut rather a sorry figure myself",

Correspondence.

THE ENCHANTED WINDOW.

TO THE EDITOR.

nonly, lamentations of the insufficiency of medicine
to preserve life, or regret of the deceased to leave the
world so soon: "He craved the gift, but Heav'n
denied." Nay, we often meet with the same rhymes
over a dozen graves.

rise and read them.

This reform, I am of opinion, might be easily accom

Surely, Mr. Editor, if epitaphs, in contradiction to SIR,-Many of your readers are probably acquainted the opinions of Frontisius and other sages, are neceswith the tale of Aladdin, in the Arabian Nights Enter-sary, they ought to be such as may benefit posterity, tainments; how that he produced (through the instru- not such as would make the dead blush if they could mentality of a good genius) a gorgeous palace, perfect in all points, with the exception of one window that remained unfinished, which all the wealth of the King his father-in-law, aided by the united skill of the ablest architects of the empire, could not complete. However incredible this may seem, I am disposed to give some credence to the veracity of the historian, as there арpears to exist in the town of Liverpool, visible to the eye of every one, a case precisely similar. Go to the Town-hall, and look at the east front, in the left-hand corner, and you will behold a window in the upper story, without glass, and unfinished. This is the identical window which neither the power nor the purse of the whole corporate body of Liverpool can complete.

plished. I would propose that all monumental in-
scriptions, whether in prose or verse, be submitted
to the resident clergyman's perusal and criticism; a
other person in the parish, and to which he surely
would not object, when informed that a distinguished
prelate of the Church of England did not consider it
degrading to superintend the alteration of the obnox-
ious expression on a tomb, " By God survives," into
"Through God survives."

task for which he should be better qualified than any

Were this plan carried into execution it is not to be doubted that our church-yards would be more inMr. Foster, the town's architect, gave it up in despair structive than at present. Then, the eye and the ear twenty years ago, and in vain has his son made the tour would not be offended as they are now; and the con. of Athens and Rome in search of architectural know-templative might linger with satisfaction, where the ledge to qualify him for the undertaking. All attempts ludicrous too often supplants the mournfully pensive are useless: there the unfinished window remains, and thought; or patience and resignation are neglected to must remain unless his Worship, the Mayor, can com-record complaints which border upon blasphemy. mand old Wood, the original designer of the fabric, to I remain, Sir, yours truly, esme forth from the world of spirits, as Aladdin did the Genius of the Lamp, and order a completion of this window, which has, for years past, bidden defiance to all the authorities, taste, and genius of Liverpool. I am, Sir, yours, &c. OBSERVER.

SIR,-In a preceding number I observed, that even in the busy haunts of men the spectator might point to every object around him and exclaim, "Si monumenta requiras, circumspice." In this paper, however, I intend to confine myself entirely to the discussion of monuments properly so called.

And the first idea that presents itself is, the impropriety of most epitaphs. When wandering in the country, the curious stranger seldom neglects to view the neighbouring church, and ramble over its cemetery. It might be supposed that the emblems of mutability around him would be sufficient to efface every image from his mind, but that of death; yet, not unfrequently a smile is seen upon his lips as he reads over some doggrel lines, little more resembling an epitaph perhaps than the couplet:

Liverpool.

PYRUS.

Antiquities. As some men were digging lately in a field adjoining the Edgeware-road, a short distance from Kilburn, they discovered, about 10 feet below the surface of the ground, a large stone coffin, containing two skeletons; one of considerable dimensions, the other apparently the skeleton of a child. Also were found, near the same place, several ancient coins; one or two of the reign of Henry VIII. which renders it very probable that these remains were deposited about that period. On the same spot there formerly stood a nunnery of the Benedictine order, founded by Herbert, Abbot of Westminster, in the reign of Henry I. and demolished in the fifteenth century.

To Correspondents.

COUNTRY ORDERS.-We are always desirous of ful-
filling the instructions of our agents, without delay;
but, in future, their letters must arrive in Liverpool
on Monday morning, or they will be too late for the
week.

PASSAGE OF THE JURA. We are much pleased with
the extract from the journal of a young gentleman of
Liverpool, which has been offered for insertion in the
Kaleidoscope, and which is entitled to our earliest at.
tention. The writer appears to have a lively and cor-
rect taste for the sublime scenery which he describes
with much simplicity and feeling. That species of
composition which comes under the department of
The Traveler is peculiarly congenial to the design of
our work; and this day's publication affords the fullest
assurance that materials of this character are not
wanting amongst us;-the original communications
of Wilfred Winder, and Peregrine, will be perused
with considerable interest by our readers in general.

EGO has not been overlooked. It has always been our
intention to assign a place in our present volume to
the poem in question; and we shall take care that it
shall not be excluded.

Hora Otios, No. X. and The Antiquary, No. VII.
in our next, and probably F. J. C.'s essay on Novel
Reading.

TRAVELER'S SOCIETY.-Connected with this subject,
we have to acknowledge the note of VIATOR, CO
veying a hint by which we would gladly profit, for
the benefit of our readers and the reputation of the
Kaleidoscope. Our correspondent, in allusion to a
paragraph in the last Mercury, on the subject of the
Liverpool Traveler's Society, asks whether it would
not be advisable on our parts to make a tender of our
pages for the purpose of recording the proceedings of
so interesting a society? With this suggestion we
most readily fall in; and take this occasion to intimate
to the members of the association, how proud we
should be of becoming the organ by which their pro
ceedings might be ushered into the world of literatur.
The Kaleidoscope presents, at all events, a cheap mo
of publication, and has the advantage also of a
culation, not only pretty extensive, but
as respect
able a description as any journal in the county
boast of.

ORTHOGRAPHICAL INNOVATIONS.-In addition t
the letter of BENVOLIO, already noticed, we have to
acknowledge others from CRITICUS and AMICU
also, against our mode of spelling the word Traser
with only one . This innovation they all cur in
pronouncing to be a piece of affectation; and we
(that is, the writer of this paragraph) must honestly
say, that we have uniformly disliked the change,
which we have permitted rather than approved. The
word TRAVELER, as our printers spell it, has a mot
meagre and half-starved appearance, which
our eye not a little. If it be correct, however,
pearance ought to be disregarded; and there are pr
sons in our office with whom the change origined,
who defend its propriety, by the authority of War
and Lindley Murray; although it must be observet,
that the theory of these critics is at variance with their
practice, as they persist in retaining the two letters
Now as we really detest any thing bordering po
affectation, we wish to be relieved from the dile
ma in which we find ourselves involved upon th
point; and we crave the assistance of our friend
to extricate us. If a jury of our critical reade
should bring, against our typographers, a verdict d
literary petty larceny, in thus abstracting an innocent
liquid from its proper station, we shall most chee
fully bow to their award, and forthwith amend o
ways. If, however, we see reason to conclude that
we are not guilty, we shall persist in disregarding
pearances.

O'SHAUGHNASEY'S 4th CANTO, we expect to rein
in time for our next publication.

We feel obliged to our friend J. J. for the two wr with the loan of which he has favoured us, and sta take the earliest opportunity to inspect them.

We will endeavour to make the arrangement saggested by a friend at York.

CHESS.-We shall, previously to our next publica revise the letter of our Warrington corresponden, which the alleged errata occur: if our correspondens should prove to be in the right, we shall not ful rectify the mistake.

BEESTON CASTLE.-J. H. whose note was mis inquires whether there has ever been published a thentic account of Beeston Castle; if so, by wh and where? Perhaps some correspondent will be to answer more satisfactorily than we are enabled to ALCANDER'S offering is acceptable.

Printed, published, and sold by E. SMITE and (

54, Lord-strect, Liverpool. Sold also by J. Bywater and Co. Pool-lane; Evans, Chip win & Hall, Castle-st.; T. Smith, Paradise-st; T.W brick, Public Library, Lime-st.; E. Willan, Be M. Smith, Tea-dealer and Stationer, Richmand and J.Smith, St. James's-road, for ready

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The Kaleidoscope: or, Literary and scientific mirror, Volume 1