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Hec. Paris, and Troilus, you have both said well; And on the cause and question now in hand Have gloz’d, but superficially; not much Unlike young men, whom Ariftotle thought Unfit to hear moral philosophy: The reasons, you alledge, do more conduce To the hot passion of distemper'd blood, Than to make up a free determination 'Twixt right and wrong; for pleasure, and revenge, Have ears more deaf than adders, to the voice Of any true decision. Nature. craves, All dues be render'd to their owners ; now What nearer debt in all humanity, Than wife is to the husband ? if this law Of nature be corrupted through affection ; And that great minds, of partial indulgence To their benummed wills, resist the same ; There is a law in each well-order'd nation, To curb those raging appetites that are Most disobedient and refractory : If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king, As, it is known, the is,-these moral laws Of nature, and of nations, speak aloud To have her back return'd: Thus to persist In doing wrong, extenuates not wrong t; But makes it much more heavy. Heator's opinion Is this, in way of truth : yet, ne'ertheless, My spritely brethren, I propend to you In resolution to keep Helen still ; For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependance Upon our joint and several dignities.
Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design: Were it not glory that we more affected Than the performance of our heaving spleens, I would not wish a drop of Trojan blood
+ The soft moral sensations, which appear in this speech, deserve great approbation and strict attention, as sensibly appealing to one of the tendereft feelings of life, though seldom properly attended to ; we mcan, matrimonial chafity,
Spent more in her defence. But, worthy Heftor,
Hec. I am yours,
[Exeunt, SCENE III. The Greek Camp. Before Achilles's lent,
Enter Thersites. The. How now, Therfites? what, loft in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: 0 worthy satisfaction ! 'would, it were otherwise ; that I could beat him, whilft he rail'd at me : 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure, and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles,-a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken 'till these two undermine it, the walls will ftand till they fall of themselves. O thou great thunderdarter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus ; if ye take not that little little less-than-little wit from them that they have ! which short-arm'd ignosance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing the maffy iron, and cutting the web. After this,
† All the chiefs, both Trojan and Grecian, require dignified ex. ternals, and graceful oratory, for stage representation,
the vengeance on the whole camp! “or, rather, the ut bone-ach! for that, methinks, is the curse dependant « on those that war for a placket.'
I have said my prayers ! and devil, Envy, lay amen. What ho! my Lord Achillest
Enter Patroclus. Pat. Who's there? Tber fites? Good Therfites, come in and rail.
Ice. If I could have remember'd a gilt counterfeit, thou would'At not have flipt out of my contemplation: but it is no matter, thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee ! " Let thy blood be thy direction “ 'till thy death! then if the, that lays thee out, says, " onthou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, " she never farouded any but lazars. Amen." Where's Acbilles ?
Pat. What, art thou devout? waft thou in prayer ?
Ach. Where, where i-Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why halt thou not serv'd thyself in to my table fo many meals ? Come, what's Agamemnon?
Tbe. Thy commander, Achilles. --Then tell me, Pa. froclys, what's Achilles ?
Pat. Thy lord, Therfites: Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself?
The Thy knower, Patroclus : Then tell me, Patrocluso what art thou ?
Par. Thou may'st tell, that know'ft..
Tbe. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon com. mands Achilles ; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool.
Tberfites aims much at the ludicrous, but is a little too licentious in some of his idcas, and therefore louid be occasionally retrenched,
Pat. You rascal!
The. Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool ; There fites is a fool ; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.
Ach. Derive this; come.
The. Agamemnon is a fool, to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon ; Tberfites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive t.
Pat. Why am I a fool?
The. Make that demand of thy Creator ; it suffices me, thou art.-Look you, who comes here? Enter Agamemnon, Neftor, Ulysses, Diomedes,
and Ajax. Ach. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody :--Come in with me, Therfires.
[Ex1. The. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and fuch knavery ! all the argument is a cuckold, and a whore; a good quarrel, to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on the subject! anci war and letchery confound all.
[Exit. Aga. Where is Achilles ? Pat. Within his tent; but ill-dispos'd, my lord.
Aga. Let it be known to him that we are here.
[Exit. Uly. We saw him at the op'ning of his tent, He is not fick.
Aja. Yes, lion-fick, fick of a proud heart : you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by
+ This conversation gives a mcft whimsical idea of these reputed great men; though by no means inconsistent with the character, page 175, wliich Ulyfes gives of Aibilles and Patroclus, “ breaking scurri! "jells," &c. VOL. VI. K
my head, 'tis pride ; but why, why? let him thew us : cauk.-A word, my lord.
[Drawing Agamemnon apart. Nes. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Uly. Achilles hath inveigl'd his fool from him. Nef. WhoTherfites? Uly. He.
Nes. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.
Uly. No: you see, he is his argument, that has his argument; Achilles.
Nes. All the better ; their fraction is more our will, than their faction : But it was a strong composure, a fool could disunite.
Uly. The amity, that wisdom knits not, folly may casily untye. Here comes Patroclus.
Re-enter Patroclus. Nef. No Achilles with him.
Uly. The elephant bath joints, but none for courtesy; His legs are for necesity, not for Alexure.
Pat. Achilles bids me say—he is much forry, If any thing more than your sport and pleasure Did inove your greatness, and this noble ftate, Tocall
upon him; he hopes, it is no other, But, for your health and your digestion fake. An after-dinner's breath.
Aga. Hear you, Patroclus ; We are too well acquainted with these answers : But his evafon, wing'd thus swift with scorn, Cannot out-Ay our apprehenfions. Mạch attribute he hath ; and much the reason, Why we ascribe it to him : yet all his virtues, Not virtuously on his own part beheld, Do, in our eyes, begin to lose their gloss ; Yca, like fair fruit in an unwholsome dish, Are like to rot untasted. Go, and tell him, We come to speak with him : And you fall oot fin; If you do fay--we think him over-proud, And under-honeft ; in self-affümption greater,