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and of one quarter of the present cene ing on an Ass, either from or to the tury, will be swallowed up in one devil-we hope the latter-is full of Aaron of the next.
affrighted motion. We cannot say that
we altogether understand it. “ What, * The sound of sighing and of wailing ho! does the devil drive-then we wide
must needs get on," leaves us rather in Will rouse each master from his morning the dark. It is, however, remarkable, sleep;
that the mind frequently derives very His rod will ring with wo, and all the
great pleasure from what it but halfland will weep!”
and-half comprehends the meaning of Dine with a march-of-intellect man, -and it is so with ours in studying and only observe the downcast eyes of this monkey-ridden donkey. Perhaps his pale-faced trembling wife-the it is a sort of unintended sequel to the knit brows of his sullen sons--the “ Schoolmaster is Abroad," and a suiky sorrows of his joy-denied daugh- couple of his pupils-parlour-boarders ters, who, to escape the cruelties of too-one of them at least, who has got that unnatural thraldom, would elope a belt round his waist-are off and even with the devil or a dancing- away out of his reach, on an animal master. All that comes of your hard appropriate to the establishment. They hearted, hard - headed, music-paint- seem both fair ass-men, and as the one ing-and-poetry-despising, utilitarian, behind has hold of the donkey's tail intellectual, all-in-all educationists, with one hand, and that of his school. who know nothing so admirable as a fellow with the other, while the one steam-engine, and would wish to see before has twisted his fingers in the the whole world worked by machinery. mane of the thistle-chewer, both in Flog away, then, old monkey-and, equal desperation indenting their toes young monkey, squall in vain to the into his sides, there is every prospect sky-for, “Lord help thee, silly one,” of their arriving unspilt at the end of there are no bowels now in heaven or their journey, “ Quod felix faustumon earth, and thy only comfort must que sit," is the earnest prayer of their be in thy agony, that the day may present well-wisher. The style in come, when thou wilt see that grim which the alarmed ass lays back his pedagogue a pauper-for there will ears, is only to be equalled by that in be no Poor Laws then-torn by curs, which he Alings up his heels, which, with whom he is disputing a bone in together with retroverted eye, open the kennel of the street, while the jaws, and blown belly, give us a livestern street-keeper will scourge him ly idea of the Flying Childers. He off his beat, with a besom, to which cannot be going at less than the rate of that, under whose iron ribs thou now ten miles an hour, and probably ima shriek'st, is a rod of Roses without a gines, for fear is a gross exaggerator, Thorn.
that his velocity is that of a hundred. • The schoolmaster is abroad indeed! Were you to ask him where he is
Then, say we, the clergyman must going, he would find some difficulty, send him home, and a committee of we shrewdly suspect, in answering such of the householders of the parish your question. If he carries on long as still go to church, must frequently So, he will not be able to fetch a bray and parrowly inspect and examine for a fortnight. He is not only a use him among his urchins, that he may ful, but positively a noble animal. not, by application of the unresting . So much for Part First. We took rod, render them for ever incapable of up Part Second with some little anfollowing any sedentary profession; xiety, for how seldom is the second of and since he does not believe in the anything so good as the first? But, punishments of a future world, they here, it is perhaps on the whole even must restrain him by a constant fear, better. “ Hookey Walker" we are and a frequent taste, of those of the hardly up to-he is probably a porpresent; such as dismissal, fine, im- trait of some well-known kiddy about prisonment, and pillory; for of all town. In a sort of bang-up great coat, murderers, depend upon it, an infidel with check handkerchief, enormous schoolmaster, when once he gets faire whiskers, cast-away hat, picked from ly abroad, will be the cruellest and the dunghill, scampishly ornamentmost accurst.
ed with a stump of a tobacco-pipe Plate fourth, two Monkeys gallop- the thumb of one outspread hand
planted on the side of his 'snub.nose, at Pretty Poil, the Wapping Wurgin! and its little finger joined to the thumb Never looked monkey so modest. Her of the other hand, similarly outspread lips primly closed against the coming -as much as to say—“how are you off kiss; eyes cast down to the deck, half for soaps up to trap, eh?” He hurkles in bashfulness, half in admiration of along, curtailed of his fair proportions, Jack's jigging feet, which do indeed a perfect picture, certainly, of a fia irresistibly heel and toe the plank nished low blackguard. Is that any, mutch with long loose flying lappels, thing near the truth of the matter, our and ribband on the top of the head in dear Landseer? If not, pray pardon the shape of a shamrock, a tempting our stupidity, and recollect that we trefoil indeed-in an old cut-down have not been in town for twenty years, full-dress captain's uniform, by way of nor ever seen the original.
a gown or jacket, check apron patch: But the originals in Plate Second ed about the knee with new, and her we have seen dancing on board a guard tail delicately hidden to the very tip ship in sea-port. Jack and Poll, en within her 'red rustling petticoat gaged in a Jig
why, no wonder that Jack, being a 66 When first I saw the graceful move,
man, a monkey, and a British sailor,
is madly in love-no wonder that he Ah me! what meant my throbbing heart ! Say, soft confusion, was it Love?
swears by all the saints and sinners in If Love thou art, then farewell rest.”
the fleet, that he will get spliced to
Poll that very night, Our male monkey here has the in- - For Love is Heaven, and Heaven is expressible Jack-Tar face to its utmost Love !" perfection. Take him for all in all, he Plates Third and Fourth are both is truly an able seaman. The swell excellent-Duelling and Drunkenness, ing on the tobacco-side of the cheek, So-so-the country, we presume, which, you may observe, is always that neighbourhood of Chalk farm ? excel. which happens at the time to be the lent duelling ground-a sign-post, in weather one, is scarcely perceptible shape not unlike a gallows, with this through the wrinkles of the love-grin ominous direction or announcement, betokening his ecstacies. You might “Rubbish shot here," and such prin. chuck a quartern of blue ruin, pewter cipals and such seconds! The first and all, down his throat, for his eager, in an agony of fear, for accommouth gapes in delight, as if he were modation of all differences, on any about to bite off Poll's head in his terms, even on the most abject mutual passion. His eyes bright as new apologies; the second, resolute and snuffed tallows-his near ear eagerly bloodthirsty, enraged at the thought cocked up into a point-his black- of being defrauded of the fray by wiped wizen-his white straw hat, their respective poltroons. Turn over adhering to his pericranium by some a new leaf, and, lo! two Monkeys principle known but to itself-his bent staggering home from a debauch. knees, thin thighs so whitely trowser. This is the way to shew up the vice. ed-splay feet, pumped and festooned It is as good as one of the best bits of on the instep with a bunch o: ribbon Macnish. They have got drunk on - long, loose, pendent arms, with pot after pot of porter-with a few hands hanging away from wrists that final noggins of gin-one apparently show their bones from the short cuffs rather the drunker of the two-laughof the jacket—and then such a jacket, ing drunk-and disposed to sit down, at which you give but a single glance, imagining himself at home-and al. for from beneath the grotesque fun, most looking as if he were going to try damental feature its cut displays, in to sing—the other, apparently the stead of from the nape of the neck, drunker of the two likewise, weeping hangs down Jack's queue or tail, an drunk, and wondering, and of his ell and a nail long at the very least, wondering finding no end, if it be and curling and twisting through its written in the book of fate that he is whole length, the tip a little turned ever again in this wicked world to see up, just avoiding to brush the dust off the house in which he was born, the deck—there he dances --Jack's twenty-four years ago, and has lived alive indeed-nor would be change in, he conjectures, till within some places, not he indeed, with the Lord unintelligible event, but in what High Admiral. No wonder. For look street, of what town, and what number on the brassplate on the door, he there is being high up, and the shin would, if he could articulate, frank- bone, with that princely protuberance ly confess he had utterly forgotten ! especially belonging to the royal line But we cannot now comment farther of Congo. upon the duellists or drunkards; for « Souls made of fire, and children of the our great monthly coach parcel (an
sun, additional pair of horses is allowed the With whom revenge is virtue." mail on that day) has just been rolled through the outer and inner shops
His fine physiognomy reminds us right into the Sanctum, by half-a, do
alternately of Molineux and Richzen porters-cords cut-ten ply of
mond, Sutton, Johnson, Stevenson,
Robinson, and Josh Hudson's black; strongest brown ripped off-and, lo! on the very top of the supply, -Part
were he to enter the ring he could not Third of Monkeyana, lying snug and
fail to cut out some work for the best soft in thinnest silk-and not a wrine
of the heavy weights. What the kle or crease on the ingenious emble
palmist may be muttering to the Bematical frontispiece!
trothed we shall not, if we can prevent It is positively the best of the three.
ourselves from doing so, conjecture; The first plate in the number, with
yet it is plain that she is in possession the motto * Great skill have they in
of some secret, which they had vainly Palmistry,” is, it appears to our recol
imagined was known but to their two lection, a parody, it may be said, on
selves, and that she scruples not to Sir Joshua's famous picture of the
hint that they same subject. The grouping of the “Have loved, not wisely, but too well.” principal figures is the same, but in There is not, however, any sympSir Joshua's, the nymph who holds toms about the figure of the lady's out her delicate hand and arm, her maid betraying that she is seriously most sweet, and fair, and dainty amiss--although the sibyl is recompalm, to the fortune-teller, is of ducal mending marriage before she lose her descent, and he who represents her place. The phiz of massa, however, lover is, if we remember aright,-if now that we look rather more scruwrong, 'tis of no consequence,-a por tinizingly into its expression, has trait of her noble brother ;-where, something we don't altogether approve. as, here, tbe nymph is only my la. He looks like a red wolf in a black dy's maid, and her lover, my lord sheep's clothing, and we fear may duke's favourite black footman, both prove a Popish recusant. Meanwhile represented by monkeys. My lady's à monkey-imp of a child, slung on monkey-maid is in a truly languishing the beldame's back, is playing tricks love-sick condition, and listens to the with her hood, and amusing himself old monkey witch, with a face of leer- with pulling out grey hairs. Yet, ing fear that is exceedingly touching after all, we believe there will be a -lying all the while amorously, but marriage and Mulattoes, who by the by no means immodestly—for she is by, are just like pigs, pretty little yelfar from being a naughty nymph- low squeakers as long as they are pigs, between the supporting knees of the but get horridly ugly as they grow up enamoured negro, her head, from into hobblety boy boys and girls, sows which the leghorn has fallen back, and boars. However there is nothing with its flaunting ribbandry, resting in such a perspective or prospective to on his shoulder, while one of Blac- deter a white lady's inaid from enter. kie's hands is protectingly placed ing into lawful wedlock with a black across her neck, and the other held Duke's footman, so let the bans be out open-fingered, in astonishment at published forthwith, with as little dethe sibyl's predictions. His bright, lay as the canons of the church will bound, glistening, cockaded, full dress allow, and the marriage ceremony be livery-hat becomes him most gallantly performed by the Rector in their own -fixed “ with an air" on his woolly parish church. So wishing joy to the knowledge-box-the breast-pin spark. pied one-flesh, and a honeymoon, if les on his frill-and altogether he is the arrangements of the Duke and his evidently a very killing man of colour, daughter for the summer tour still The leg, on the knee and thigh of hold good, at the Lakes, Keswick, which Abigail reposes, is of unmistake. Ambleside, Lowood, and Bo'ness, able African origin, what little calf where the accommodation at the inns
is excellent, we bid adieu to the Be- to say nothing of the immortal Jem, trothed; and after a hasty and pleased before whom no man could live, till glance at plate second, a Beadle or Pollux, jealous even in his star, struck Verger, or some such officiary drest him with a racket-ball into a Monops, in a little brief authority, and with and then, indeed, shame to the gengold-laced cocked-hat, and cane, dis- tlemen of England, Belcher the Great, persing a 'triad of monkey lads, who Pride of the Nursery, Hero of Moul. have been playing at pitch and toss on sey-Hurst, and Champion of Engthe steps of a church, we presume on land, that is, the world—with all but Sunday, and who sprawl off in a hope and confidence gone, for strength scramble of much variety and anima- left him in the ring as he stripped, tion; and after another glance, as hasty and went over to Hen Pearce-sank and as well pleased, at plate third, re with all his laurels beneath the Game presenting a Client in the clutch of a Chicken, then new Lord of the Ascendwell-briefed and better-feed Barrister, ent, and afterwards, in two cruel à client who, from his infatuated ear combats with Tom Crib, then known nestness, is manifestly a plaintiff about by the cognomen of the Black Diato be non-suited, with costs, not over- mond, now Ex-Ex-Champion ;-nor looking the Fable of the Cats and yet to speak of John Jackson, the Cheese in the middle, nor the picture Unapproachable, the best-made man of a man putting his head and shoul. from top to toe in all England, not ders into a lion's mouth in the back one weak point in all his matchless ground,-we eagerly pounce upon frame-strong, steady, straight, raplate fourth, which to us is one of pid, resistless, terrible, before whoin, the most exquisite treats ever furnish- while yet a stripling, Few terell the ed by the fancy of a painter. For lo! Philistine fell, and who did Mendoza, two well-matched Monkeys are at it not giving him a chance, under the hard and fast with the gloves, on the ten minutes, flooring him every round stage of the Fives Court !
“ as butcher felleth ox.” “ Lay on, Macduff;
We pretend to no great nous in And damn'd be him that first cries hold, ring-affairs; but we have gumption enough!"
enough left to admire the ingenuity of We never saw Turner and Randall, our amiable friend Pierce Egan, as (those illustrious heroes now defunct, honest a man as lives, and as thorough and who have taken their place among a trump,-no less to admire the quaint the immortals) set to, but we have originality of the facetious and acute seen as good ones as they,—aye, and John Bee, and the amusing varieties better too, Mendoza, and Ward, and of the Annals of Sporting, Sporting many of the best men of that era,- Magazine, and Bell's Life in London. George Head the Inimitable, who These excellent writers have vindicated could knock you down out of distance, the science of pugilism, and the chaand though but an eleven stone man racters of its prime professors, from the at the most, licked Giant Gregson to ignorant reproaches of a set of senseless his heart's content, like winking with blockheads, incapable of comprehendin the rules of the Bench-Tom Bel. ing and appreciating the native spirit cher, yet glove-champion of the ring, of heroic England. As friends of hu.. notwithstanding his late unfortunate manity, they have supported the ring muffler. fight with white-headed Bob, at the points of their pens against all and that Tom is now somewhere about gainsayers, and proved to demonstrathe half-way house between the for- tion, that were it not for prize-fighttieth and fiftieth mile-stone on the ing, without which, it is plainer than high road of life-his great antagonist, a pikestaff that pugilism could never the undefeated Dutch Sanı, undefeats flourish as a national custom, there ed, till in his spindle-shanked, bellows would be for one death by fisty-cuffs, to-mend, and fist-enfeebled premature at least fifty, to say nothing of downold age, he fell a Jew-confounding right assassinations and murders, with and cleaning-out sacrifice beneath the iron-bound wooden clogs, case-knives, maulies of Nowlsworthy, then Master razors, pistols, and blunderbusses. of the Rolls, who in his turn bit the One or two of the Judges of the land sod beneath the terrific punishment see this nearly in its true light--as, of that unconquered antic Scroggins, for example, Chief Justice Best, a s the gentlemanly kind of man," - bright and a manly character, who
does not, like some old women on the press the grotesquely scientific characBench, who for the present shall be ter of this inimitable Set-to. All is in nameless, shudder at the thought of perfect keeping the faces of the speca clean knock-down blow, but is oftators are all agrin, and agape, and opinion, that, on frequent occasions, a aghast, and a-gloom, and a-glimmer, bloody nose and a black eye are badges with the fluctuations of passionate of honour, which the best man in emotion. The helmeted head of LarkEngland may, if honourably acquired, ins the Life-Guardsman rises nobly wear with honour at market, and even in the opening between the attitudisince the Sunday will come round re narians, towering over the crowd. And gularly, the latter badge-namely, the hark, how uproarious the applause ! black eye, even at church. Fierce The monkeys, we beg their pardon, Egan, John Bee, and Christopher the men will be matched, we have no North, wish for peace among the peo doubt, for a hundred a-side, to fight ple; and therefore they wish, that, to probably in the same ring, after the preserve it, as far as it can be pre- affair between Jack Carter and Jem served, the people should be taught Ward has come off-Jacco the favourthe art of war. Perhaps a Chief-Jus. ite-guineas to sovereigns-and we tice cannot consistently with the pe should not wonder if the second battle culiar decencies of his office-which, were the better of the two, for Carter however, when not founded in reason, is a cur, and Ward a cross. * are all a fudge-recommend prize We must now lay aside Monkeyana, fighting from his seat. But he can and bid Thomas Landseer farewell. shew what his thoughts and feelings Twenty years ago, we should not have are on the subject; and our present cared to have put on the gloves with illustrious Chief may depend upon it, him, and shewn that we too could spar that in no part of his late admirable a bit ; for that he can spar well this charges-admirable-onevery point plate is proof-positive. Now we are did the people of England go more feeble on our pins, our bams are weak, heartily along with him, than in his and our knees totter, our right hand panegyric on pugilism; a panegyric has forgot its cunning. Come down which should be written in letters of to the Lodge, then, our dear sir, and gold, and hung up in a handsome we shall hold out to you the right frame at the Castle, and all other hand of friendship ungloved, and insporting-houses of character and ce troduce you into the inner ring within lebrity
our porch, where, during our light But see the Set-to ! The Man-Mon- airy intellectual play, we shall have key to the left has evidently the ad. both a second and a bottle-holder. vantage in height and length ; but One brother at a time is best; so his antagonist has it in weight by a come down by yourself, and wedo trust few pounds, and his compact frame that you will give such a report of exhibits formidable muscle. Studies us as may induce each member of the both, for the anatomist, the statuary, family to go in by rotation. Edwin, and the painter. Had that heavy we know, has been frequently in Scotright-hander, delivered at Jacco Mac- land, and once or twice in No. 17; co's smeller, not been caught by that but we were then, most unfortunately, accomplished pugilist's sloping right laid up in bed, with gout in every lith forearm, it might have been a floorer. and limb of our body, and the greatest The little one has mischief yet in his deer-and-dog-painter that ever drew kidney-seeking left; and next time an ear or an antler left Scotland by us they hit out together, 'tis odds they unseen, but not unhonoured. Your counter. Jacco is leary as Aby Belas pencil, your brush, and your graving co, and is difficult to be got as Spring needle, must all have, while you are himself-but his opponent will be in, at the Lodge, a holiday, except indeed he won't be denied, and at the weaving for an hour or two, that you may leave system we question if he has his equal us a relic of your genius, some exqui. in the ring. Look at him again, and site bijou to be hung up in a sunny say now, is he not in that attitude a nook of the wall among the chef-d'. phenomenon ? But all the words in @uvres of the Immortals. the world would fail adequately to ex
. Since come off-a miserable affair indeed.