A Arminian Magazine, For DECEMBER 1796. A fhort Account of Mr. RICHARD ELLIOTT, Dear Friend, TO THE EDITOR. CCORDING to my promife, I fend you an account of the LORD's gracious dealings with me: Should it be made useful to your numerous readers, I fhall be thankful," and hall afcribe the praise to GOD.. I was born in the parish of Afhover in the county of Derby, in the Month of Auguft, 1768. From my childhood, at leaft at intervals, I poffeffed a degree of the fear of God. Sometimes" when I prayed, or ferionfly thought of God, I had delightful fen-" fations, and wifhed to die and go to heaven. At other feafons, I was the most vain and mifchievous creature in the world; and then I was terrified with the dread of death and hell. Sometimes I was difobedient to my parents; but thefe acts were followed with diftrefs of mind, nor could I reft until I had retired into fecret, and implored pardon. When about fix years of age, I was guilty of telling an untruth, and although it was never dif covered, I was extremely diftreffed for several days. At another time, I ftole a flower out of a garden, and although this remained a fecret to all, yet I could not look the owner in the face for feveral years after. I believe these inward remonftrances came from him who is named "the TRUE LIGHT, who enlighteneth every man that cometh into the world:" though I did not underftand then, on account of my great ignorance, it is probable, had I been favoured with the inftructions of fome pious perfon, I should have understood the mind of GOD, and might confequently have escaped much fin and forrow. There are but few children who do not feel the ftrivings of GOD's Spirit with them, and it certainly is the duty of every parent to pay the ftricteft attention to their morals, to fet them a good example, and to cherifh in them every serious thought and good defire. As I grew up, my finful propenfities and religious convictions encreased: I frequently formed ferious refolutions, but they were foon broken, through temptations and the depravity of my nature: These were followed with remorfe and forrow. Being VOL. XIX. Dec. 1796. brought brought up in the Church of England, when of, a proper age I was confirmed. Previous to this ceremony I made great preparation, intending to be very good; but the diforder that took place in the church, (which too frequently happens on fuch occafions) deftroyed all my ferious intentions. From this unhappy period I may date a life and conduct, the remembrance of which fills me with forrow. Before this time my behaviour in general was moral; I frequented the church, prayed, read the Bible, the Whole Duty of Man, Pilgrim's Progrefs, and the Great Importance of a religious Life; and had a fecret horror of fio, But now I com menced acquaintance with a company of youths, whose principles and practices verified the truth of St. Paul's words, "Evil communications corrupt good manners.' I foon became a proficient in vice, and equalled, if not exceeded most of my companions. But in the midst of all my follies I was unhappy, and often thoroughly miferable: infomuch, that I have often left my companions and the party of pleasure, to retire into fome pri vate place, where I have wept bitterly. On cool reflection, I often said to myself, "What a fool I am to be thus deluded! What are all thefe pleasures? Are they "not vanity in their nature, and mifery in their end? There is no peace, faith my God, upto the wicked." Would the advocates for fenfual pleasure honeftly confefs their feelings, my cafe was not fingular, it was what most of them experience, more of lefs. I made frequent efforts to alter my conduct; I wept and prayed, and ftrove against fin, but to little purpose: My refolutions were formed in my own fttength; and were fwept away before the torrent of temptation, as chaff before the wind. Be ing ignorant of human depravity, I concluded I was neceffitated to fin, in order to my damnation! These reflections filled my mind with blafphemous thoughts, fo that I even hated God, and wifhed there had been none, or that he were dethroned! I envied the brute, and wished I had been a dog, or any thing, but man : I faid they are happy, they just step on earth to keep thort watch and then lie down in everlafling repofe. But man is miserable in this life through fin and disorder, and doomed to a never-ending mifery in the world to come, on account of the fins which fate impelled him, to commit in this world. Sometimes a thought. would dart into my mind, "Perhaps there is no God! Who knows but the Bible may be fabulous a mere invention of pricftcraft!" I wifhed with my whole foul that thefe affertions. might prove true. This laid a foundation for future wickedness; and opened the floodgates to all the blafphemous thoughts infeparable from infidelity. Oh! thou infulted and most justly of fended God! why am I not reaping the fruit of my rebellion?. because thou haft no pleasure in the death of a finner! "Thy fovereign Grace to all extends, From From age to age it never ends, It reaches all mankind : Throughout the world its breadth is known, So wide, it never pass'd by one, Or it had pafs'd by me." I remained a poor unhappy wretch until I became acquainted with true religion. In the year 1784, I became a conftant hearer of the Methodift Preachers, and fometimes I attended the preaching of the Calvinifts: the former were made useful to me; but the fentiments of the other had a tendency to render me fecure. Although I could never reconcile their doctrine of Abfolute Decrees with the perfections of GOD; yet they frequently caused me to entertain impious thoughts of his Being, Attributes, and Government. In the night feafons I was often diftreffed with awful dreams, or vifions; one of which I beg leave to mention. I dreamed I was walking in a delightful meadow; 'the fun was wheeling his course from the zenith to the Western ocean; the cerulean was intermingled with ftrokes of light resembling_burnished filver and the blufhing tinge of purple, while the fleecy clouds were skirted, as it were, with gold. The air was richly perfumed with aromatics, and a balmy fragrance breathed from every fhrub. Blooming nature fmiled around, while the feathered nations rendered the groves vocal by their charming notes, which the refponfive hills gave back to ravished ears. In a moment this enchanting scene was altered. The earth trembled beneath my feet, as if her deep foundations were fhaken; the beauteous colour of the heavens gave way to fable night, which filled her ebon throne compofed of grim clouds diftended with storm and fulphur. The roaring thunders rolled in horrid peals, and the red lightnings darted in every direction; until earth and sky appeared to be wrapped in one devouring blaze! The JUDGE appeared on his awful Throne formed of a fhining cloud; the dead were raifed, and all mankind ftood before him.. I thought the Judge rehearsed all that ever paffed through my mind, or had been tranfacted in my life: my confcience, at the fame time, witneffing to the truth thereof. This was done to all. When the righteous were raifed from the crowd and feated near the throne of the Judge in robes of light. The earth inftantly opened an immeniely wide volcano, into which the wicked, with whom. I found myfelf, were awfully plunged alive. Hell appeared one boundless region of burning fand, agitated with eternal storms. Towards the middle, as I thought, rolled the angry fea, or lake of fire, whofe fparkling billows raised their flaming heads exceflive high. I thought great numbers fell into this fea, and were dreadfully toffed on its fiery waves; their fhrieks and cries pierced me through with inconceivable horror! I thought I lay on the burn. ing beach in all the anguifh of wild defpair. A fiend came to plunge me into the fire, when I awoke. 4 I 2 Although Although this was no more than a dream, yet the impreffions it made on my mind were both deep and lasting. I was now de. termined if poffible, to escape that place of torment; and in order to this, I began to ferve God in good earnest. Satan like a roaring lion, now came upon me with his fiery darts; he told me," It is now too late, your doom is fixed; and the place you have feen in your dream is to be your everlasting habitation!" I ftrove all in my power to filence thefe temptations, but being ignorant of the maxim which Jefus Chrift taught his followers, namely, "Without me ye can do nothing; " I was frequently captivated by fin. However I conftantly attended all the means of Grace, both public and private; and was refolved of this, that if I did perish, it should be in the path of duty. I am fully perfuaded these pious refolutions were from the Lord, from whom every good and perfect gift cometh. I now united with the Methodists, whofe miniftry, with that. of the Rev. Mr. Curfhom*, was made a great bleffing to me; and I received much divine light. I daily difcovered more of the evils of my own heart, which was a means of humbling me, and destroying that pride which is so natural to me. My diftrefs of mind was very great, on account of fin; and although I was firmly perfuaded none could fave but Jefus Chrift, yet I could not obtain peace and joy in God. I believe the chief cause was, the perplexity my mind was thrown into, by reading and hearing both Arminians and Calvinifts, in order to determine which of these was right. My judgment decided in favour of the former; but orthodoxy is not faith: and I bless God that I was not permitted to reft in mere opinions, which I fear is the cafe of but too many. In the month of January 1785, God was pleased to permit me to be feverely tried with perfecution and temptation; but through his grace I was enabled to conquer; though I have reafon to la ment my not preserving a proper conduct and temper. I continued nearly in this ftate until July 1787, when it pleased God to speak peace to my foul, under a fermon on Zech. ix. 12. I could then rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory. I loft thefe divine tranfports, and was again brought into bondage, through difputing about particular predeftination. I continued in this ftate until November following. At that time I was in great diftrefs of mind, and afflicted in body; but God, who is rich in mercy, fhewed me his favour, under a fermon on Micah vii. 18. * Mr. CURSHOм, was feveral years Curate of Afhover, his labours were great, and crowned with much fuccefs, But fome of the leading men procured his expulfion. He now keeps an Academy at Sutton near Mansfield, in Nottinghamshire. Many of his enemies are called away to give an account of their conduct to the JUDGE of all. Some of his friends are fafely landed in bliss; where I hope they will joyfully welcome him to his crown, I experienced |