but my ruin appease you? Why should you choose by your malice to expose your decay of years, and lay open your poor lover's follies to all, because you could improve 'em to your own use no longer?

[Approaches.

Lady Squ. Come not near me, traitor-Lord, madam Camilla, how can you be so cruel? See, see, how wildly he looks for heaven's sake have a care of him; I fear he is distempered in his mind: what pity 'tis, so hopeful a gentleman should run mad for love-ha, ha, ha!

Mrs. Good. Dear madam, how can you use Mr. Valentine so? 'Tis enough to put him out of humour, and spoil him for being good company all the day after it.

Lady Squ. Oh Lord, madam, 'tis the greatest pleasure to me in the world; let me die, but I love to rally a bashful young lover, and put him out of countenance, at my heart.

Saunt. Ha, ha, ha! and I'll swear the devil and all's in her wit, when she sets on't. Poor Ned Valentine! Lord, how sillily he looks!

Cap. Ay, and would fain be angry if he knew but how. Val. Hark you, coxcomb; I can be angry, very angry, d'ye mark me?

Clum. No, but sir, don't be in a passion: my lady will have her humour; but she's a very good woman at

the bottom.

Val. Very likely, sir.

Mrs. Good. Now, madam, if your ladyship thinks fit, we'll withdraw and leave the gentlemen to themselves a little; only Mr. Caper and Mr. Saunter must do us the honour of their company.

Saunt. Say you so, madam? I'faith and you shall have it. Come, Caper, we are the men for the ladies, I see that- Hey boys!

Lady Squ. Oh dear! and sweet Mr. Saunter shall oblige us with a song.

Saunt. O madam, ten thousand, ten thousand if you

please. I'll swear I believe I could sing all day and all night, and never be weary.

[Sings. When Phillis watch'd her harmless sheep,

Not one poor lamb, &c.

[Ex. Saunter, Caper, and Ladies. Good. A happy riddance this! now, gentlemen, for one bottle to entertain our noble friend and new acquaintance, sir Noble Clumsey.

Clum. Really, gallants, I must beg your pardon; I dare not drink, for I have but a very weak brain, sir, and my head won't bear it.

Tru. Oh, surely that honourable bulk could never be maintained with thin regular diet and small beer.

Clum. I must confess, sir, I am something plump; but a little fat is comely; I would not be too lean.

Mal. No, by no means, my dear, thou hast an heroic face, which well becomes this noble port and fulness of thy body.

Val. Goodvile, we have a suit to you: here is Malagene has been some time in a cloud; for this once receive him into good grace and favour again.

Mal. Faith, Goodvile, do, for without any more words, I love thee with all my heart—faith and troth, give me thy hand.

Good. But, sir, should I allow you my countenance, you would be very drunk, very rude, and very unmannerly, I fear.

Mal. Drunk, sir, I scorn your words, I'd have you know I han't been drunk this week: no, I am the son of a whore if I won't be very sober. This noble knight shall be security for my good behaviour. Wilt thou not, knight?

Clum. Sir, you are a person altogether a stranger to ine; and I have sworn never to be bound for any man. Tru. But, sir Noble, you are obliged in honour to serve a gentleman and your friend.

Clum. Say you so, sir? obliged in honour? I am satisfied. Sir, this gentleman is my friend and acquain tance, and whatsoever he says, I'll stand to.

Mal. Hark thee, son of Mars, thou art a knight already; I'll marry thee to a lady of my acquaintance, and have thee made a lord.

Good. Boy, the wine, give sir Noble his glass.-Gentlemen, sir Noble's lady's health.

Clum. Odd's my life, I'll drink that, though I die for't. Gallants, I have a lady in this head of mine, and that you shall find anon. By my troth, I think this be a glass of good wine.

Val. Say you so? take the other glass then, sir Noble. Clum. 'Fore George, and so I will. Pox on't, let it be a brimmer: gentlemen, God save the king.

Mal. Well said, my lovely man of might. His worship grows good company.

Tru. Sir Noble, you are a great acquaintance with Mr. Caper and Mr. Saunter; they are men of pretty parts.

Clum. Oh, sir, the finest persons- the most obliging, well-bred, complaisant, modish gentlemen: they are acquainted with all the ladies in town, and are men of fine estates.

Tru. This rogue is one of those earthly mongrels that knows the value of nothing but a good estate, and loves a fellow with a great deal of land and a title, though his grandfather were a blacksmith. [Aside,

Clum. How say you, sir, a good estate? odd's heart, give me the other glass; I have two thousand pounds

a-year.

Mal. Say'st thou so? boy, bring more wine; wine in abundance, sirrah, d'ye hear? Frank Goodvile, thou seest I am free, for faith I hate ceremony, and would fain make the knight merry.

Good. Malagene, it shall be your task; drink him up lustily, and when that's done, we'll bring him to my lady his cousin, it may make some sport.

Vul. A very good proposal.

Mal. Say no more; thy word's a law, and it shall be done. Come, bear up, my lusty limb of honour, and hang sobriety.

Clum. Ay, so say I, hang sobriety-drink, whore, rant, roar, swear, make a noise, and all that: but be honest, dost hear, be honest.

Tru. I would very fain be so if I could; but the damned billet this morning won't out of my head. Well, madam Goodvile, if any mischief comes on't, 'tis your own fault, not mine. I did not strike first, and there's an end on't. [Music within.

Enter LETTICE.

Let. Sir, the fiddles are ready, and the ladies desire your company. Mr. Truman, my lady wants you.

Tru. Say'st thou so? I thank thee for thy news with all my heart. The devil I see will get the better on't, and there is no resisting.

Let. Sir Noble, my lady Squeamish sent me to tell you she wants your company to dance.

Clum. Tell her I am busy about a grand affair of the nation, and cannot come.— -Dance! I look like a dancer indeed! but these women will be always putting us on more than we can do- -Boy, give me more wine. Good. Malagene, remember, and use expedition.

[Ex. Good. Trum. Val. Lettice. Clum. Sirrah, do you know me? I am a knight; and here's a health to all the whores in christendom.

Mal. Not forgetting all the ladies within. Now we are alone I may talk. [Drinks.

Clum. So, there's for you, do you see? [Breaks a glass Sirrah, don't you look scurvily; I have money in my pocket, you must know that.-Bring us more wine.— Malagene, thou art a pretty fellow; dost thou love me? Give me thy hand: I will salute thy under lip.

[Staggers. Mal. Ha, what's the meaning of this? I doubt I shall almost be drunk as soon as the knight. Sir Noble canst thou whore?

Clum. How, whore! what a question's there! thou shalt be my pimp, and I'll prefer thee.

Mal. What a rascal this knight is! I have known as

worthy a person as himself a pimp, and one that thought it no blemish to his honour neither.

Enter Lady SQUEAMISH at the Door.

[Aside.

Clum. Hah, my lady cousin!--Faith, madam, you see I am at it.

Mal. The devil's in it, I think; we could no sooner talk of whores, but she must come in, with a pox to her. Madam, your ladyship's most humble servant.

Lady Squ. Oh, odious! insufferable! who would have thought, cousin, you would have served ine so ?-fough, how he stinks of wine! I can smell him hither.— How have you the patience to hear the noise of fiddles, and spend your time in nasty drinking?

Clum. Hum! 'tis a good creature: lovely lady, thou shalt take thy glass.

Lady Squ. Uh gud; murder! I had rather you had offered me a toad.

Clum. Then Malagene, here's a health to my lady cousin's Pelion upon Ossa.

[Drinks, and breaks the glass. Lady Squ. Lord, dear Mr. Malagene, what's that? Mal. A certain place, madam, in Greece, much talked of by the ancients; the noble gentleman is well read. Lady Squ. Nay, he is an ingenious person, I'll assure you.

Clum. Now, lady bright, I am wholly thy slave: give me thy hand, I'll go straight and begin my grandmother's kissing dance; but first deign me the private honour of thy lip.

Lady Squ. Nay, fy, sir Noble! how I hate you now! for shame! be not so rude: I swear you are quite spoiled. Get you gone, you good-natured toad you.

[Exeunt.