HEN a man of genius does not

but must have feen inftruments mecha

nothing more than by his abilities in difpute. However, let him fhew folidity in his opinions, together with eafe, elegance, and vivacity, in his expreffions; yet, if an impudent face be found to baffle him, he fhall be judged inferior in other refpects. I mean, he will grow cheap in mixed company: for as to felect judges, they will form their opinions by another fcale; with thefe, a fingle epift'e, penned with propriety, will more eff. Atually prove his wit than an hundred defects in his converfation will demonstrate the reverse.

It is true, there is nothing difplays a genius, I mean a quicknefs of genius, more than a difpute; as two diamonds, encountering, contribute to each other's luftre. But perhaps the odds is much against the man of taste in this parti

cular.

Bashfulness is more frequently connected with good fenfe, than we find afurance and impudence, on the other hand, is often the mere effect of downright ftupidity. On this account, the man of genius has as much the advantage of his antagonist, as a race-horfe, carrying a finall weight, has over his rival that bears a larger: modefty, like the weight to which I allude, not fuffering it's owner to exert his real ftrength; which effrontery is allowed to do, with-, out lett or impedintent.

It may be urged, and justly enough, that it is comn.on to be partial to the modeft man; and that diffidence makes good amen is for any rettraint it lays us uder, by the prejudice it gives every heurer in cur favour. But, indeed, this can only happen where it meets with the molt ingenuous judges. Otherwife, a laugh will carry the day, with which the ignorant hide is generally belt accommodated.

In order to put these antagonists upon a foute what more equal footing, I have invented the following inftrument; for the fole ftructure and tale of which, I am not without hopes of procuring a patent. What I mean, is an artificial laughter. There are few lo little converfant in toys,

of different birds. The quail-pipe is brought to fuch perfection as even to delude the very species. The cuckow has been mimicked with no lefs accuracy. Would it not then be an eafy matter to reprefent the laugh of this empty tribe, which has in itself fomething artificial; and is not more affected than it is particular? For the convenience of the person that bears it, it's dimenfions fhould be fo contrived as that it might be played on in his pocket. Does it not feeni fealible, that a laughter of this kind may be brought to answer every purpose of that noife which it refembles? If there be cccafion for an expletive, let the owner feek it in his fobb; as his antagonist would find his account in a loud oath or an empty pun. If there be need of a good founding cadence at the clofe of a common period, it may not be amifs to harmonize a fentence by what may be called a finishing ftroke. This inftrument is fo contrived as to produce all the variety of an human laugh; and this variation is to be regulated, not by the nature of your fubject, nor the wit or humour of a repartee, but by the difpofition of the company, and the proper minute for fuch an interlude. But to become a ma❤ fter of the faid machine, let the candidate for applaufe frequent the company of vociferous difputants; among whom he may foon learn how to perform a converfation,

One or two of these inftruments I have already finished, though not indeed to the perfection at which I expect they may foon arrive. A gentleman vifited me t'other day, who has the jufteft claim that can be to the use of them; having nothing in his character that can obscure the greatest merit, but the greatest modetty. I communicated my invention, defiring him to make trial of it on the firft occafion. He did fo; and when I faw him next, gave me leave to publish the following account of it's efficacy in my next advertisement, The first time

I employed it,' faid my friend,' was in a fort of controverly with a beau; who had contrived means, by the ufe

of his fnuff-box, to fupply both want of language and of thought. In this manner he prolonged his argument; and really to the company, which confitted of ladies, difcovered more fagacity without thinking, than I could do by it's affiftance. I bethought myfelf immediately of your inftrument, and had recourf to it. I obferved in what part of his difcourfe he most employed his fingers, and had fuddenly recourfe to mine, with equal emphasis and fignificancy. The art was not discovered, 'ere I had routed my antagonist; having feated myself in a dark corner, where my operations were not dif'cernible. I obferved, that as he found 'himself more clofely preffed, he grew 'more and more affiduous in his application to his fouff-box, much as an otter closely purfued is forced to throw up bubbles that fhew his diftrefs. I 'therefore discovered gradually lefs and lefs occafion for fpeaking; and for thinking, none at all. I played only a flourish in answer to the argument at his finger's ends; and, after a while, found him as mortal in this part as in any other. When his caufe was juft expiring, after a very long purfuit, and many fruitless turnings and evafions in the course of it, I founded my inftrument, with as much alacrity as a huntfinan does his horn on the death ' of an hare.

upon a par with him, I think I may fay, without vanity, that, in point of reafon, I had the upper hand. I thall only add, that as it was habitual for him to answer arguments by vociferation, fo it became needlefs for me to give him any answer of a better 'kind.'

Thus far my friend. I do not queftion but there will appear artifts, that fhall undertake to instruct the diffident, the fubmiffive, and the hafhful, how to perform the whole gamut of oratorical and rifible mufic: and as there is a kind of humourous laughter, which draws all others into it's own vortex, I need not here affert that I would have this branch very much inculcated.

Neither is this inftrument of importance in difpute alone, or controverfy; but wherever one man's faculties are more prone to laughter than another's. Trifles will burst one man's sides, which will not disturb the features of another; and a laugh one cannot join, is almost as irk fome as a lamentation. 'Tis like a peal rung after a wedding; where a whole parifh fhall be ftunned with noife, becaufe they want that occafion to rejoice, which the perfons at least imagine to be their lot that occafioned it. The founds are pleafing to their ears; who find them conformable to their own ideas; but thofe who are not in temper, or unconcerned, find them a ftupefying repeti

tion.

When, therefore, my mind is not in tune with another's, what ftrikes his, will not vibrate on mine. All I then have to do, is to counterfeit a laugh; which is an operation as artificial, as the machine I have been defcribing.

HE actions of our lives, even thofe we call most important, feem as much fubject to trifles as our very lives themselves. We frame very notable projects in imagination, and promife to ourfelves an equal term of life. 'Tis, however, in the power of the minutelt accident, to fhorten the one, and difconcart the other. 'Tis with mankind as with certain fire-engines, whofe motion may be stopped in the midft of it's ra

the occafion of his mistake, where he fpyed the little animals in the most miferable contufion. He had the delicacy of fentiment to be really forry for what he had done; and, putting himself in their condition, began to reflect upon the confequence. It might be an age, to them, ere they could recover their tranquillity. He viewed them with a fort of fimile, to find the anxiety they under. went for fuch perishable habitations. Yet he confi !ered that his contempt was only the effect of his own fuperiority; and that there might be fome created. beings, to whom his own fpecies must appear as trifling. His remark did not ceale here. He confidered his future enterprize, with an eye to fuch a race of beings. He found it mult appear to them in a light as difadvantageous, as the ambition and vain glory of an ant would, to himself. How ridiculous,' he faid, muft this republic appear to me, could I difcern it's, a@ions, as it has probably many, that are analogous to thofe of human nature! Suppofe them at continual variance about the property of a grain of fand. Suppole one, that had acquired a few finds more to his portion as alfo one " gram of wheat, and one finall particle of barley four-hould think himfelf qualified to tyrannize over his equals, and to lord it, uncontrouled. Confider him, on this account, not contented to make ufe of the numerous legs with

which nature has fupplied him, borne aloft by a couple of flaves within the hollow of an hufk of wheat, five or fix others, at the fame time, attending folemnly upon the proceffion Suppofe, lastly, that among this people, the prime minifter should perfuade the reft to levy war upon a neighbouring colony; and this in order to be filed the fovereign of two hillocks, instead of one; while perhaps their prefent condition leaves them nothing to with befides fuperfluities. At the fame time, it is in the power of the most in⚫ confiderable among mankind, nay, of any fpecies of animals fuperior to their own, to destroy at once the minifter and people all together: this is doubtless very ridiculous; yet this is doubtless my own cafe, in respect to many fubordinate beings, and very Farecertainly of the Supreme one.

wel, then, ye air-built citadels! Fare• wel, vifions of unfolid glory! Don Pedro will feek no honour of fo equi⚫ vocal an acceptation, as to degrade his character to a fuperior fpecies, in proportion as it exalts him before his 'own.'

See here a juft conclufion! In short, he found it to fairly drawn, as immediately to drop his project, leave the army, and retire: of which whimsical relation it may be well enough obferved, That a fpider had entlaved the world, had not an ant obftructed his defign.

although, hereafter, your qualifications may make whole millions do fo? For, believe me, when I affirm, that I deem it much more fuperfluous, to with you honours to gratify your ambition, than to with you ambition enough to make your honours fatisfactory.

It feems an hard case that envy fhould be the confequence of merit, at the ame time that fcorn fo naturally attends the want of it. 'Tis however in fome meafure, perhaps, an unavoi table (and perhaps in fome fenfe an ufeful) paflion, in all the most heroic natures; where, refined through certain trainers, it takes

of the fuperior advantages of another: and it's tendenc is truly good, under fome certain regulations.

All honour very evidently depends upon comparifon; and confequently, the more numerous are our fuperiors, the fmaller portion of it falls to our fhare. Confidered relatively, we are dwarfs, or gians; though, confidered abfolutely, we are neither. However, the love of this relative grandeur is made a part of our natures; and the ule of emulation is to excite cur diligence in pursuit of power, for the fake of beneficence. The inttances of it's perverfion are obvious to

every one's obfervation. A vicious mind, instead of it's own emolument, ftudies the debafement of his fuperior. A perfon, to please one of this catt, muit needs diveft himfelf of all useful qualities; and in order to be beloved, difcover nothing that is truly amiable. One may very fafely fix our effeem on thofe whom we hear fome people depreciate. Merit is to them as uniformly odious, as the fun itself to the birds of darkness. An author, to judge of his own merit, may fix his eye upon this tribe of men; and fuffer his fatisfaction to arife in due proportion to their discontent. Their difapprobation will fufficiently influence every generous bolom in his favour; and I would as implicitly give my applaufe to one whom they pull to pieces, as the inhabitants of Pegu worship thofe that have been devoured by apes.

'Tis another perverfion of this paffion, though of a lefs enormous nature, when it merely ftimulates us to rival others in points of no intrinfic worth. To equal others in the ufelefs parts of learning; to purfue riches for the fake of an equipage as brilliant; to covet an equal

knowledge of a table; to vie in jockey fhip, or cunning at a bett. These, and many other rivalfhips, anfwer, not the genuine purposes of emulation.

I believe the paffion is oftentimes derived from a too partial view of our own and others excellencies. We behold a man pofleffed of fome particular advan tage, and we immediately reflect upon it's deficiency in ourselves. We wait not to examine what others we have to balance it. We envy another man's bodily accomplishments; when our mental ones might preponderate, would we put them into the fcale. Should we afk our own bofoms whether we would change fituations altogether, I fancy felf-love would, generally, make us prefer our own condition. But if our fentiments remain the fame after such an examination, all we can justly endeavour is our own real advancement. To meditate his detriment either in fortune, power, or reputation, at the fame time that it is infamous, has often a tendency to deprefs ourselves. But let us confine our emulation to points of real worth to riches, power, or knowledge, only that we may rival others in beneficence.

I Note citrated wathies, who, for NGENIOUS was the device of the more effectual promulgation of their weil-grounded maxims, fait pretended to divine infpiration. Peace be to their manes! May the turf die lightly on their breath, and the verdure over their grave be as perpetual as their memories! Well knew they, queftionlefs, that a proceeding of this nature mult afford an excufe to their modetty, as well as add a weight to their inftructions. For, from the beginning of time, if we may believe the hiftories of the best repute, man has ever found a delight in giving credit to fur prizing lies. There was indeed neceffary a degree of credit, previous to this delight; and there was as neceffary a delight, in order to enforce any degree of credit. But so it was, that the pleasure

ofe, in a proportion to the wonder; and if the love of wonder was but gratified,

ro matter whether the tale was founded upon a witch or an Egeria; on a rat, a

pinoy, her of a pigeon, the pummel of à sword, a bloat

Of all writers that bear any refemblance to thefe originals, thofe who approach the nearett, are fuch as defcribe their extraordinary dreams and vifions. Of oftentation we may not, peradventure, accuse them, who claim to them felves no other than the merit of fpectators. Of want of abilities we'muft not cenfure them; when we are given to know that their imagination had ne more part in the affair, than a whited wall has in thofe various figures which fome crafty artist represents thereon.

The firft meditation of a folitary, is the behaviour of men in active life. Haplefs fpecies, I cry'd, how very grotsly art thou miftaken! How very fupine, while youth permits thee to gam the prize of virtue by reftraint! How very refolute, when thine age leaves nothing to restrain thee! Thou giveft a loofe to thine inclinations,