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Oli. Cross-garter'd ?
Mal, Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be fcm
Oli. Am I made ?
Oli. I'll come to him. Good Maria, let this fellow be look’d to. Where's my uncle Toby? let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for half of my dowry.
[Exit. S CE N E VIII. Mal. Oh, oh! do you come near me now?
worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! this concurs directly with the letter; the fends him on purpose that I may appear stubborn to him; for the incites me to that in the letter. Caft thy humble ilough, says she ;--be opposite with a kinsman,-furly with servants,-let thy tongue tang with arguments of frate,-pur thyself into the trick of singularity ;-and consequently fets down the manner how; as a fad face, a reverend carriage, a alow tongue, in the habit of some Sir of note, and so forth. I have lim'd her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! and when she went away now, let this fellow be look'd to: Fellow! not Malvolio, not after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no fcruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unfafe circumstance -- what can be faid ? nothing that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked, SCENE IX. Enter Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.
Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of fanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himfelf poffefs'd him, yet I 'll speak to him.
Fab. Here he is, here he is; how is’t with you, Sir ? how is ’t with you, man?
Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my privacy: go off.
Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him ! did not I tell you ? Sir Toby, my Lady prays you to have a care of him.
Mal. Ah, ha! does she so?
Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is 't with you? what! man, defy the devil; consider, he's an enemy to mankind.
Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. La, you! if you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart. - Pray God he be not be: witch'd.
Fab. Carry his water to th' wise woman.
Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My Lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Mal. How, now,
Sir To. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace; that is not the way: do you not see you move him? let me alone with him.
Fab. No way but gentleness, gently, gently; the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly us’d.
Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock ? how doft thou, chuck ?
Sir To. Ay, biddy, come with me. 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier.
Mar. Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby; get him to pray.
Mal. My prayers, minx !
Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godli, ness.
Mal. Go hang yourselves all : you are idle shallow things. I am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter.
[Exit. Sir To. Is 't pollible?
What ! man,
Fab. If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
Mar. Nay, pursue him now, left the device take air, and taint.
Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad; we may carry
it thus for our pleasure and his penance, till our very paftime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But fee, but fee.
SCENE X. Enter Sir Andrew. Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it. I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Is’t fo fawcy?
[Sir Toby reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a fcurvy fellow.
Fab. Good and valiant.
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind why I do call thee fo; for I will shew thee no reason for 't.
Fab. A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law.
Sir To. Thou com'st to the Lady Olivia, and in my fight the uses thee kindly; but thou liesi in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good fenfe-less.
Sir To. I will waylay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to kill me~
Fab. Still you keep o'th' windy side of the law: good.
Sir To. Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one off our fouls : he may have mercy upon mine, but iny hope is
better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend as thou useft him, and thy sworn enemy, AndrEW AGUE-CHEEK.
Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot : I'll give't him.
Mar. You may have very fit occasion for’t: he is now in some commerce with my Lady, and will by and by depart.
Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the orchard like a bum-bailiff; so soon as ever thou feeft him, draw; and, as thou drawit, swear horribly; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twang'd off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing.
[Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his Lord and my niece confirms no less : therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find that it comes from a clodpole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receive it) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.
SCENE XI. Enter Olivia and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your niece ; give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him.
Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge.
[Exeunt. Oli. I've said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honour too unchary out. There's something in me, that reproves my
fault : But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof.
Vie. With the same 'haviour that your passion bears, Goes on my master's grief.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;
Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you ;
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master.
Oli. How with mine fionour may I give him that, Which I have given to you?
Vio. I will acquit you.
Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well. A fiend like thee might bear my foul to hell. [Exit.
SCENE XII. Enter Sir Toby and Fabian.
Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't; of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy interpreter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end; dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.
Vio. You mistake, Sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.
Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you; there. fore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him, what youth, strength, fill, and wrath can furnish man withal.
Vio. I pray you, Sir, what is he?
Sir To. He is Knight, dubb'd with unhack'd rapier, and on carpet confideration ; but he is a devil in private brawl; souls and bodies hath he divorc'd three, and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and fepulchre : hob, nob, is his word; give’t, or take't.
Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the Lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.
Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his defire. Back you Thall not to the house,