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Affure yourself, after our ship did split,
Vio. For saying so, there's gold.
Cap. Ay, Madam, well; for I was bred and born Not three hours travel from this very place.
Vio. Who governs here!
Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name him :
Vio. What's the?
Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a Count,
Vio. O that I ferv'd that lady,
Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, Captain ; And tho' that nature with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution ; yet of thee,
may be worth thy pains; for I can sing,
Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be ; When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see. Vio. I thank thee ; lead me on.
SCENE III. An apartment in Olivia's house.
Enter Sir Toby, and Maria. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy
Mar. By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier a-nights; your niece, my Lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.
Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted.
Mar, Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modeft limits of order.
Sir To. Confine, I'll confine myself no finer than I am; these cloaths are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too ; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.
Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you; I heard my Lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here, to be her
Sir To. Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheek?
Sir To. Why, he has three thousand ducats a-year.
Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats : he's a very fool and a prodigal.
Sir To. Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o'th' violde-gambo, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.
Mar. He hath, indeed, almost natural; for befides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among ihe prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, and subtractors that fay fo of him. Who are they?
Mar. They that add moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece. I'll drink to her as long as there's a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria. He's a coward, and a coystril, that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o'th' toe like a parish-top. What, Wench? Caftiliano volto* ; for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-cheek.
SCENE IV. Enter Sir Andrew.
Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch ?
Sir And, Good Mistress Accoft, I desire better acquaintance.
Mar. My name is Mary, Sir.
Sir To. You mistake, Knight: Accoft is, front her, board her, woo her, assail her.
untenance; that is, your
In English, Put on your Caftilian grave, folemn looks.
Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?
Mar. Fare you well, Gentlemen.
Sir To. An thou let her part so, Sir Andrew, would thou might'st never draw sword again.
Sir And. An you part so, Mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair Lady, do you
you have fools in hand ?
Mar. Sir, I have not you by th' hand.
Sir And. Marry, but you shall have, and here's my hand.
Mar. Now, Sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to th' buttery-bar, and let it drink.
Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart ? what's your metaphor ?
Mar. It's dry, Sir.
Sir And. Why, I think so : I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest ?
Mar. A dry jest, Sir.
Mar. Ay, Sir, I have them at my finger's ends : marry, now I let your hand go, I am barren.
[Exit. Maria, Sir To. O Knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: when did I see thee so put down?
Sir And. Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down : methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian, or an ordinary man has ; but I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.
Sir To. No question.
Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
Sir To. Pourquoy? my dear Knight? Sir And. What is Pourquoy, do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O had I but follow'd the arts !
Sir To. Then hadft thou had an excellent head of hair.
Sir To. Past question ; for thou seest it will not curl by nature,
Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does 't not?
Sir To. Excell nt ! it hangs like flas on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs, and spin it off.
Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby ; your niece will not be seen ; or, if the be, it's four to one she 'll none of me : the Duke himself here, hard by, wooes her.
Sir She 'll none o' th' Duke : she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in 't, man.
Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o'th' ftrangest mind i'th' world. I delight in masks and revels fometimes altogether,
Sir To. Art thou good at these kickshaws, Knight?
Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters ; and yet I will not compare
with an old man. Sir To. What, is thy excellence in a galliard, Knight? Sir And. 'Faith, I can cut a caper. Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.
Sir And. And I think I have the back-trick, fimply as strong as any man in Illyria.
Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid ? wherefore have thefe gifts a curtain before them ? are they like to take duft, like Mistress Mall's picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a gailiard, and come home in a coranto? My very waik should be a jig! I would not fo much as make water, but in a cinque-pace. What doft thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in ? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was form’d under the star of a galliard.
Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-colour’d stocking. Shall we set about some revels ?
Sir To. What shall we do elfe ? were we not born under Taurus ?
Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.
Sir To. No, Sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me fee thee caper; ha ! higher: ha, ha!