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Con. I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale.
Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain: and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
Watch. [Aside.] Some treason, masters ; yet stand close.
Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
Con. Is it possible, that any villainy should be so dear?
Bora. Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.
Con. I wonder at it.
Bora. That shows, thou art unconfirmed: Thou knowest, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.
Con. Yes, it is apparel.
Bora. Tush! I may as well say, the fool's the fool. But see'st thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is ?
Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven year; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name.
Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody?
Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot
bloods, between fourteen and five and thirty? sometime, fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy painting; sometime, like god Bel's priests in the old church window; sometime, like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his cod-piece seems as massy as his club?
Con. All this I see; and see, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man: But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion ?
Bora. Not so neither; but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress' chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night, - I tell this tale vilely :-I should first tell thee, how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted, and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Con. And thought they, Margaret was Hero?
Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw over-night, and send her home again without a husband.
1 Watch. We charge you in the prince's name, stand.
2 Watch. Call up the right master constable: We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery, that ever was known in the commonwealth.
1 Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock.
Con. Masters, masters.
2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.
1 Watch. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you go
Bora. We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken
of these men's bills. Con. A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we'll obey you.
SCENE IV.-A Room in Leonato's House.
Enter Hero, MARGARET, and URSULA. Hero. Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise.
Urs. I will, lady.
[Erit Ursula. Marg. Troth, I think, your other rabato were better. Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.
Marg. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your cousin will say so.
Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another; I'll wear none but this.
Marg. I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner: and your gown's a most rare fashion, i'faith. I saw the duchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so.
Hero. O, that exceeds, they say.
Marg. By my troth it's but a night-gown in respect of
yours: Cloth of gold, and cuts, and laced with silver; set with pearls, down sleeves, side-sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a blueish tinsel : but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't.
Hero. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy!
Marg. 'Twill be heavier soon, by the weight of a
Hero. Fye upon thee! art not ashamed ?
Marg. Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord honourable without marriage? I think, you would have me say, saving your reverence,-a husband : an bad thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend no body: Is there any harın in-the heavier for a husband? None, I think, an it be the right husband, and the right wife ; otherwise 'tis light, and not heavy: Ask my lady Beatrice else, here she comes.
Enter BEATRICE. Hero. Good morrow, coz. Beat. Good morrow, sweet Hero. Hero. Why, how now! do you speak in the sick tune? Beat. I am out of all other tune, methinks.
Marg. Clap us into-Light o' love ; that goes without a burden; do you sing it, and I'll dance it.
Beat. Yea, Light o' love, with your beels!—then, if your husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall lack no barns.
Marg. O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with
Beat. 'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; 'tis time you were ready. By my troth I am exceeding ill :-hey ho!
Marg. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband ?
Marg. Well, an you be not turned Turk, there's no more sailing by the star.
Beat. What means the fool, trow?
Marg. Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire !
Hero. These gloves the count sent me, they are an excellent perfume.
Beat. I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell.
Marg. A maid, and stuffed ! there's goodly catching of cold.
Beat. 0, God help me! God help me! how long have you profess'd apprehension?
Marg. Ever since you left it: doth not my wit become me rarely?
Beat. It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap.-By my troth, I am sick.
Marg. Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus, and lay it to your heart; it is the only thing for
Hero. There thou prick’st her with a thistle.
Beat. Benedictus ! why Benedictus ? you have some moral in this Benedictus.
Marg. Moral? no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: nay, by’r lady,