Fran. O lord, sir! I'll be sworn upon all the books in England, I could find in my heartPoins. Francis! 5 goodman Adam, to the pupil age of this present twelve o'clock at midnight. [Re-enter Francis.] What's o'clock, Francis? Fran. Anon, anon, sir. P. Hen. That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot, and yet the son of a woman! -His industry is-up-stairs and down-stairs; his cloquence, the parcel of a reckoning. I am not yet of Percy's mind, the Hot-spur of the north; 10 he that kills me some six or seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes his hands, and says to his wife,-Fie upon this quiet life! I want work. 0, my sweet Harry, says she, how many hast thou kill'd to-day? Give my roan horse a drench, says he; and answers, Some fourteen, an hour after; a trifle; a trifle. I pr'ythee, call in Falstaff; I'll play Percy, and that damn'd brawn shall play dame Mortimer his wife. Rico', says the drunkfark. Call in ribs, call in tallow. Fran. O lord, sir! I would it had been two. P. Henry. I will give thee for it a thousand 15 pound: ask me when thou wilt, and thou shalt have it. Poins. Francis! Fran. Anon, anon. P. Henry. Anou, Francis? No, Francis: but to- 20 morrow, Francis; or, Francis, on Thursday; or, indeed, Francis, when thou wilt. But, Francis,--| Fran. My lord? P. Henry. Wilt thou rob this leathern-jerkin, crystal-button', nott-pated', agat-ring, poke-stock-25 ing', caddice-garter, smooth tongue, Spanishpouch, Fran. O lord, sir, what do you mean? P. Henry. Why then, your brown bastard is your only drink: for, look you, Francis, your 30 white canvas doublet will sully: in Barbary, sir, it cannot come to so much. Fran. What, sir? P. Henry. Away, you rogue; Dost thou not 35 hear them call? [Here they both call him; the drawer stands amazed, not knowing which way to go. Enter Vintner. Vint. What! stand'st thou still, and hear'st such 40 a calling? look to the guests within. [Ex. drawer.] My lord, old Sir John, with half a dozen more, are at the door; Shall I let them in? P. Hen. Let them alone a while, and then open the door. [Exit Vintner.] _Poins! Re-enter Poins. Poins. Anon, anon, sir. P. Henry. Sirrah, Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the door; Shall we be merry? Enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto. Poins. Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been? Fal. A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! marry, and amen!-Give me a cup of sack, boy.-Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew nether stocks', and mend them, and foot them too. A plague of all cowards!-Give me a cup of sack, rogue.-Is there no virtue extant? [He drinks. P. Henry. Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter pitiful-hearted Titan, that melted at the sweet tale of the sun? if thou didst, then behold that compound. Fal. You rogue, here's lime in this sack too : There is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: Yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it; a villainous coward.-Go'thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then I am a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhang'd in England; and one of them is tat, and grows old: God help the while! a bad world, I say! I would I were a weaver; I could sing all manner of songs'. A plague of all cowards, I say still! P. Henry. How now, wool-sack? what mutter 45 you? Poins. As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark 50 ye; What cunning match have you made with this jest of the drawer? come, what's the issue? P. Henry. I am now of all humours, that have shew'd themselves humours, since the old days of Fal. A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath', and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more.You Prince of Wales! P. Henry. Why, you whoreson round man! what's the matter? Fal. Are you not a coward? answer me to that; and Poins there? To Poins. A person was said to be 6 1 A leather jerkin with crystal buttons was the habit of a paten-broker. nott-pated, when the hair was cut short and round. Black-stocking. 4 Caddis was a sort of coarse ferret. The garters of Shakspeare's time were worn in sight, and consequently were expensive. He who would submit to wear a coarser sort, was probably called by this contemptuous distinction. Bastard was a kind of sweet wine. The prince finding the waiter not able, and not willing, to understand his instigation, puzzles him with unconnected prattle, and drives him away. 'A cant word of the English taverns of those times, expressive of no meaning. Nether stocks are stockings. note', p. 49. Warburton observes, that in the persecution of the protestants in Flanders under Philip II. those who came over into England on that occasion brought with them the woollen manu factory. These were Calvinists, who were always distinguished for their love of psalmody, such a dagger as the Vice in the old moralities was arm'd with. 7 * See 10 i. e. P. Henry. P.Henry. Ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, I'll stab thee. Fal. I call thee coward! I'll see thee damn'd ere I call thee coward: but I would give a thousand pound, I could run fast as thou canst. You 5 are straight enough in the shoulders, you care not who sees your back: Call you that, backing of your friends? A plague upon such backing! give ine them that will face me.-Give me a cup of sack:-1 am a rogue, if I drunk to-day. P. Henry. O villain! thy lips are scarce wip'd since thou drunk'st last. Fal. All's one for that. A plague of all coward still say I ! [He drinks. P. Henry. What's the matter? Fal. What's the matter? Here be four of us have ta'en a thousand pound this morning. P. Henry. Where is it, Jack? where is it? Fal. Where is it? taken from us it is: a hundred upon poor four of us. I have 10 15 Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits. Ful. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else. P. Henry. Pi'ythee let him alone; we shall have more anon. Fal. Dost thou hear me, Hal? P. Henry. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack. P. Henry. What, a hundred, man? P. Henry. Speak, sirs; How was it? Peto. No, no, they were not bound. Fal. You rogue, they were bound, everyman of them; or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew. Gads. As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set upon us, Fal. And unbound the rest, and then came in the other. P. Henry. What, fought you with them all? Fal. Began to give me ground: But I follow'd me close, came-in foot and hand; and, with a thought, seven of the eleven I pay'd. P. Henry. O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two. Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves, in Kendal green2, came at my back, and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand. P. Henry. These lies are like the father that begets them; gross as a mountain, open, palpable. 35 Why, thou clay-brain'd guts; thou knotty-pated fool; thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallowkeech', Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth, the truth? 40. P. Henry. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was so dark thou could'st not see thy hand? Come, tell us your reason; What say'st thou to this? Fal. All I know not what you call, all; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of 45| radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then I aim no two-legg'd creature. Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason, Fal. What, upon compulsion? No; were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! If reasons were as plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I. P. Henry. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin; this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh;— Fal. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin", you lry'd neat's-tongue, bull's pizzle, you stock-fish, Our author here plays upon the double meaning of point, which signifies the sharp end of a weapon, and the lace of a garment. To untruss a point, is a phrase still in use for the operation of easing nature. Kendal green was the livery of Robert earl of Huntingdon and his followers while in a state of outlawry, and their leader assumed the title of Robin Hood. 3Å keech of tallow is the fat of an ox or cow rolled up by the butcher in a round lump, in order to be carried to the chandler. For elf-skin Sir Thomas Hanmer and Dr. Warburton read eel-skin; and in our opinion justly; as Shakspeare, in this and his ensuing comparisons of the stock-fish and dry'd neat's tongue, alludes to the leanness of the prince, for which he had historical authority: the prince of Wales being represented by Stowe to have "exceeded the mean stature of men, his neck long, body slender and lean, and bones small, &c." O, for 10 P. Henry. We two saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth. -Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. -Then did we two set on you four; and, with a word, out-fac'd you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can shew it you here in the house:- and, Falstaff, you carry'd your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roar'd for mercy, and 15 still ran and roar'd, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done; and then say, it was in fight? What trick, what device, what starting hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent 20 shame? Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack; What trick bast thou now? Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: Was it for 25| me, to kill the heir apparent? should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou know'st, I am as valiant as Hércules; but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think 30 the better of myself and thee, during my life; I, for a valiant lion, and thou, for a true prince. But,] Jads, I am glad you have the money.- -Hostess, clap to the doors; watch to-night, pray to-mor row.-Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the 35 titles of good fellowship come to you! What, shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore? P. Henry. Content ;-and the argument shall be thy running away. [me. Ful. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lov'st 40 Enter Hostess. Host. My lord the prince,— P. Henry. How now, my lady the hostess? what say'st thou to me? Host. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman' of 45 the court at door, would speak with you: he says, he comes from your father. P. Henry. Give him as much as will make him a royal' man, and send him back again to my mother. Fal. What manner of man is he? Host. An old man. Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight?-Shall I give him his answer? P. Henry. Prythee, do, Jack. 50 [Exit.55 Fal. Faith, and I'll send him packing. P.Henry. Now, sirs; by'r-Lady, you fought fair; -so did you, Peto;-so did you, Bardolph: you are lions too; you ran away upon instinct, you will not touch the true prince; no,-fie! 1 Bard. 'Faith, I ran when I saw others run. P. Henry. Tell me now in earnest, How came Falstaff's sword so hack'd? Peto. Why, he hack'd it with his dagger; and said, he would swear truth out of England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight; and persuaded us to do the like. Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with speargrass, to make them bleed; and then to beslubber our garments with it, and swear it was the blood of true men. I did that I did not these seven years before, I blush'd to hear his mon-trous devices. P. Henry. O villain, thou stol'st a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the manner', and ever since thou hast blush'd extempore: Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou ran'st away; What instinct hadst thou for it? Bard. My lord, do you see these meteors? da you behold these exhalations? P. Henry. I do. Bard. What think you they portend? Here comes lean Jack,here comes bare-bone. How now, my sweet creature of bombast'? How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thine own knee? Fal. My own knee? When I was about thy years, Hal, I was not an eagle's talon in the waist; I could have crept into an alderman's thumbring: A plague of sighing and grief! it blows a man up like a bladder. There's villainous news abroad: here was Sir John Braby from your father; you must to the court in the morning. That same inad fellow of the north, Percy; and he of Wales, that gave Amaimon the bastinado,and made Lucifer cuckold, and swore the devil his true liegeman upon the cross of a Welsh hook',-What, a plague, call you him? Poins. O, Glendower. Fal. Owen, Owen; the same;-and his son-inlaw Mortimer; and old Northumberland; and that sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that runs o' horseback up a hill perpendicular, P. Henry. He that rides at high speed, and with his pistol kills a sparrow flying? Fal. You have hit it. P. Henry. So did he never the sparrow. Fal. Well, that rascal hath good mettle in him; he will not run. P. Henry. Why, what a rascal art thou then, to praise him so for running? Fal. O'horseback, ye cuckow! but, a-foot, he will not budge a foot. P. Henry. Yes, Jack, upon instinct. Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is there too, and one Mordake, and a thousand blue i. e. That is, "Bombast "A Welsh A kind of jest seems to be intended here. The royal went for 10s.-the noble only for 6s. 8d. honest. This is a law phrase, signifying taken in the fact. Alluding to his red face. drunkenness and poverty. A pun upon the similarity of sound between collar and choler. is the stufting of cloaths. The custom of wearing a ring on the thumb is very ancient, hook appears to have been some instrument of the offensive kind. caps caps' more: Worcester is stolen away by night; thy father's beard is turn'd white with the news; you may buy land now as cheap as stinking macke rel. P. Hen. Then, 'tis like, if there come a hot June, and this civil buffeting hold, we shall buy maidenheads as they buy hob-nails, by the hundreds. 10 Fal. By the mass, lad, thou say'st true; it is like we shall have good trading that way. But, teli me, Hal, art thou not horribly afeard? Thou being heir apparent, could the world pick thee out three such enemies again, as that fiend Douglas, that| spirit Percy, and that devil Glendower? Art thou not horribly afraid? doth not thy blood thrill at it ?15 P. Hen. Not a whit, i'faith; I lack some of thy instinct. Fal. Well, thou wi't be horribly chid to-mor row, when thou comest to thy father: if thou love me, practise an answer. P. Hen. Do thou stand for my father, and examine me on the particulars of my life. Fut. Shall ? content :--This chair shall be my state, this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion my crown. P. Hen. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, thy golden sceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy precious rich crown for a pitiful bald crown! be son to me, here lies the point:-Why, being son to me, art thou so pointed at? Shall the blessed sun of heaven prove a micher, and eat blackberries? a question not to be asked. Shall the son of England prove a thief, and take purses? a ques tion to be ask'd. There is a thing, Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is known to many in our land by the name of pitch: this pitch, as ancient writers do report, doth defile; so doth the company thou keepest: for, Harry, now I do not speak to thee in drink, but in tears; not in plea sure, but in passion; not in words only, but in woes also:And yet there is a virtuous man, whom I have often noted in thy company, but I know not his name. P. Henry. What manner of man, an it like your majesty? Fal. A goodly portly man, i'faith, and a corpulent; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and a 20most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by'r-Lady, inclining to threescore; and now I remember me, his name is Falstaff: if that man should be lewdly given, he deceiveth me; for, Harry, I see virtue in his looks. If then the fruit 25may be known by the tree, as the tree by the fruit, then, peremptorily I speak it, there is virtue in that Falstaff: him keep with, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou naughty varlet, tell me, where hast thou been this month? Fal. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out of thee, now shalt thou be moved.-Give me a cup 30 of sack, to make mine eyes look red, that it may be thought I have wept; for I must speak in passion, and I will do it in king Cambyses' 2 vein. P. Hen. Well, here is my leg'. Fal. And here is my speech:-Stand aside, no-35 bility. Host. This is excellent sport, i'faith. Fal. Weep not, sweet queen, for trickling tears are vain. Host. O the father, how he holds his counte-40 nance ! Fal. For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful queen, For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes. Host. O rare! he doth it as like one of these harlotry players, as I ever see. P. Hen. Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me, and I'll play my father. Fa'. Depose me? if thou dost it half so gravely, so majestically, both in word and matter, hang me up by the heels for a' rabbet-sucker, or a poulterer's hare. P. Hen. Well, here I am set. Ful. And here I stand:-judge, my masters. P. Henry. The complaints I hear of thee are grievous. Ful. 'Sblood, my lord, they are false;-nay, I'll tickle ye for a young prince, i'faith,~ P. Hen. Swearest thou, ungracious boy? hence. 45 forth ne'er look on me. Thou art violently carried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee, in the likeness of a fat old man; a tun of nan is thy companion. Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swoln parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuft cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that reverend Vice, that grey iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? Wherein neat and cleanly, but to carve a capon Fal. Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good ticklebrain-Harry', I do not only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also how thou art accompanied: for though the camomile, the more 50 it is trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth. the more it is wasted, the sooner it wears. That thou art my son, I have partly thy mother's word partly my own opinion; but chiefly, a villainous trick of thine eye, and a foolish hanging of thy 55 nether lip, that doth warrant me. If then thou Meaning Scots, who wore blue bonnets. written by Thomas Preston. of some strong liquor. 2 Alluding to the tragedy of Cambyses king of Persia, That is, my obeisance to my father. Probably the nick-name This speech was perhaps intended by our author as a ridicule on the public i. e. truant. To mich (pronounced mike,) is to lurk out of sight, a hedgeCreeper i. e. a sucking rabbet. A poulterer's hare means, a hare hung up by the hind legs without pratory of that time. 6 a skin, and which is long and slender, meal is bolted. 8 A bolting-hutch is the wooden receptacle into which the and 15 Fal. But to say, I know more harm in him than in myself, were to say more than I know. That he is old, (the more the pity) his white hairs do witness it: but that he is (saving your reverence) a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar' be a fault, God help the wicked! If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damn'd: if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine are to be loved: No, my good 20 lord; banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant, being as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not him thy Harry's company, banish not 25 him thy Harry's company; banish plump Jack, and banish all the world. P. Henry. I do, I will. [Knocking; and Hostess and Bardolph go out. Re-enter Bardolph, running. Bar. O, my lord, my lord; the sheriff, with a most monstrous watch, is at the door. Fal. Out, you rogue! play out the play: I have much to say in the behalf of that Falstaff. Re-enter Hostess. Host. O, my lord, my lord! Fal. Heigh, heigh! the devil rides upon a fiddlestick': what's the matter? Host. The sheriff and all the watch are at the door: they are come to search the house; shall I let them in? 30 Fal. Both which I bave had but their date is out, and therefore I'll hide me. [Exeunt Falstaff, Bardolph, Gadshill, and Peto: manent Prince and Poins. P. Henry. Call in the sheriff Enter Sheriff, and Carrier. Car. As fat as butter. P.Henry.The man, I do assure you, is not here; Sher. I will, my lord: There are two gentlemen inen, He shall be answerable; and so, farewell. P. Henry. I think, it is good-morrow: Is it not? Poins. Falstaff!fast asleep behind the arras, and snorting like a horse. P. Henry. Hark how hard he fetches breath:— 35 Search his pockets. 40 Fal Dost thou hear, Hal? never call a true piece of gold, a counterfeit: thou art essentially 45| mad, without seeming so. P. Henry. And thou a natural coward, without instinct. Fal. I deny your major: if you will deny the sheriff, so; if not, let him enter: if I become no a cart as well as another man, a plague on my bringing up! I hope I shall as soon be strangled with a halter, as another. 50 P. Henry. Go, hide thee behind the arras;the rest walk up above. Now, my masters, for 55 a true face, and a good conscience. [He searches his pockets,and finds certain papers. What hast thou found? Poins. Nothing but papers, my lord. P. Henry. Let's see what they be: read them. Item, Sauce, 4d. Item. Sack, two gallons, 5s. 8d. P. Henry. O monstrous! but one halfpennyworth of bread to this intolerable deal of sack!What there is else, keep close; we'll read it at more advantage; there let him sleep till day. I'll to the court in the morning: we must all to the wars, and thy place shall be honourable. I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of foot; and, I know, his death will be a march of twelve score. The money shall be paid back again, with advantage. Be with me betimes in the morning; and so good morrow, Poins, Poins. Good morrow, good my lord. [Exeunt. i. e. let me know your meaning. 3 Sack and sugar A proverbial phrase. In old houses there were the walls. i. e. it will kill him to march as far as ACT |