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Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. Owoman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour!

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour: What is it?-dispense with trifles ;what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page. What?-thou liest !-Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry'.

a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him that may not sully the chariness of our 5 honesty. Oh, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I ain from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an un

10measurable distance.

Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman.
Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this
greasy knight: Come hither.
[They retire.
Enter Ford with Pistol, Page with Nym.
Ford. Well, I hope it be not so.
Pist. Hope is a curtail-dog in some affairs:
Sir John affects thy wife.

Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. [poor,
Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and
Both young and old, one with another, Ford!
He loves thy gally-inawtry ; Ford, perpend.
Ford. Love my wife?

Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read, read-perceive how I might be knighted.-I shall 15 think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking: And yet he would not swear; prais'd women's modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behav'd reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposi-20 tion would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere, and keep place toge ther, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore 250, odious is the name! at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? 1 think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name 30 of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for 35 different names, (sure more) and these are of the second edition: He will print them out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the 'press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you 40 twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.

Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words: What doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll 45 entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he knew some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to 50 keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be reveng'a on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with[55]

Pist. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or gothou, LikeSir Acteon he, with Ringwood at thy heels:

Ford. What name, sir?

Pist. The horn, I say: Farewell.

Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night.

Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds de sing.

Away, sir corporal Nym.~

Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Exit Pistol.
Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this.

Nym. [Speaking to Page.] And this is true; I like
not the humour of lying. He hath wrong'd me in
some humours: I should have borne the humour'd
letter to her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite
upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's
the short and the long. My name is corporal Nym,
I speak, and I avouch. 'Tis true;-my name is
Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.-Adieu! I love
not the humour of bread and cheese; and there's the
humour of it. Adieu.
[Exit Nym.

Page. The humour of it, quoth a'! "here's a fellow frights humour out of its wits.

Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.

Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting

rogue.

Ford. If I do find it, well.

Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o'the town commended him for a true

man.

of

Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: Well.
Page. How now, Meg?

To hack, is an expression used in another scene this play, to signify to do mischief. The sense of this passage may therefore be, These knights are a riotous, dissolute sort of people, and on that account thou shouldst not wish to be of the number. That is, we have more proof than we want. 3 A popular ballad of those times, * Press is used here ambiguously, for a press to print, and a press the caution which ought to attend on it. Persons not qualified to keep

to squeeze.

⚫ That is,

4

a greyhound cut off his tail, and then he is termed a lurcher; yet seldom lets his gamo escape. S.A,

A medley.

By a Catalan, some kind of sharper was probably meant.

Mrs.

Mrs. Page, Whither go you, George?—Hark you. Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank? why art thou melancholy?

Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy.Get you home, go.

Mrs. Ford. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, mistress Page?

Mrs. Puge. Have with you.-You'll come to
dinner, George?-Look, who comes yonder: she
shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
[Aside to Mrs. Ford.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.
Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she'll fit it.
Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter
Anne?

Quic. Ay, forsooth: And, I pray, how does good mistress Anne?

Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an hour's talk with you.

sir Hugh the Welch priest, and Caius the French doctor.

Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you.

Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook?

[They go a little aside. Shal. [To Page.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them 10 contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.

15

[Ex. Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. Quickly. 20 Page. How now, master Ford?

Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did you not?

Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Page. Hang em slaves! I do not think the knight| would offer it: but these, that accuse him in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues1, now thy be out of service. Ford. Were they his men? Page. Marry, were they.

Ford. I like it never the better for that.-Does he lie at the Garter?

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend his voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

25

30

Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?

Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, my name is Brook, only for a jest.

Host. My hand, bu'ly: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.Will you go an

heirs 2?

Shal. Have with you, mine host.

Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccados, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword', I would have made 0you four tall feilows skip like rats.

35

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together: A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: 40 I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.How now, mine host?

Enter Host and Shallow.

Host. How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero-justice, I say.

1451

Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even, and twenty, good master Page! Master 50 Page, will you go with us? we have sport in

hand.

Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you:-I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt Host, Shallow and Page. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stand so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and, what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into 't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestow'd. [Exit.

I

SCENE II.

The Garter inn.

Enter Falstaff and Pistol.

Ful. I will not lend thee a penny.

Pist. Why, then the world's inine oyster", which with sword will open. I will retort the sum in equipage ‘.

Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bully- you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had rook! look'd through the grate, like a geminy of baboons. Shul. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between 551 am damn'd in hell, for swearing to gentlemen,

That is, cheats. 2 This passage is evidently obscure. Mr. Steevens proposes to read, Will you go on, hearts? in confirmation of which conjecture, he observes, that the Host calls Dr. Caius Heart of Elder; and adds, in a subsequent scene of this play, Farewell, my hearts. 3 Before the introduction of rapiers, the swords in use were of an enormous length. Shallow here censures the innova tion of lighter weapons. 4 To stand on any thing, signifies to insist on it. To Ford, who is jea lous, all chastity in women appears as frailty, Dr. Gray supposes Shakspeare to allude to an old proverb, The mayor of Northampton opens oysters with his dagger:" that is, to keep them at a sufficient distance from his nose, that town being fourscore miles from the sea. 'Dr. Warburton conjectures the meaning of this to be, I will pay you again in stolen goods; and his opinion is confirmed by that of Mr. Farmer.

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my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fel-| lows: and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan2, I took't upon mine honour, thou hadst it not.

Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fif- 5 teeppence?

Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou, I'll endanger my soug ut.s? At a word, hang n more about me, I am no gibbet for you:—go.A short knife and a thong,-to your manor of Pickt-hatch, go.-You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue!-you stand upon your honour! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself sometimes leaving the fear of hea-15 ven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain 'ooks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the 20 shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you? Pist. I'd relent: what would'st thou more of man?

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Enter Robin.

4

Fal. Well: mistress Ford;what of her? Quic. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray!

Fal. Mistress Ford; come, mistress Ford,

Quic. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought 10her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; [ warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweet y, (all musk) and so rusling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terins; and in such wine and sugar pf the best, and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.—I had my self twenty angels given me this morning: but Faety all angels, (in any such sort as they say) but in the way of honesty:-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there has been earls, hay, which is more, pensioners'; but, I warrant

Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. 23you, all is one with her.
Ful. Let her approach.

Enter Mrs. Qui kly.

Quic. Give your worship good-morrow.
Ful. Good-morrow, good wife.

Quic. Not so, an't please your worship.
Fal. Good maid, then.

Quic. Pil b sworn; as my mother was, the first hour I was born.

Ed. I do believe the swearer: What with me?
Quic. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or

two?

Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'l Vouchsafe thee the hearing.

Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury.

Quic. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times: and 30she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven.

8

Quic. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of; 35-master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

Quic. There is one mistress Ford, sir;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself dwell 40 with master doctor Caius.

Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,Quic. Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears;-nine own. 43 people, mine own people.

Quic. Are they so? ficaven bless them, and make them his servants!

Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.

Quic. Why, you say well: But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page has her hearty commendations to you too;--and let me tell you in your ear; she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, me tell your whoe'er be the other: and she bade worship, that her husband is seldom from home;

2

Fans, in 1 A tall fellow, in the time of our author, meant, a stout, bold, or courageous person. Shakspeare's time, were more costly than they are at present, as well as of a different construction. They consisted of ostrich feathers, (or others of equal length and flexibility) which were stuck into 3 A noted handles. The richer sort of these were composed of gold, silver, or ivory of curious workmanship. The sum of forty pounds was sometimes given for a fan in the time of queen Elizabeth. place for thieves and pickpockets. Picki-hatch probably is derived from the pickes placed upon the A sconce is a petty hatches of the doors of the bawdy-houses of those times; a precaution which perhaps the unseasonable "Your ale-house conversation. and obstreperous irruptions of the gallants of that age might render necessary. fortification: to ensconce, therefore, is to protect as with a fort. Red lattice at the doors and windows, were formerly the external insignia of an ale-house. Hence the present chequers; and it is very remarkable, that shops, with the sign of the chequers, were common This is the name of a brisk light dance, and not therefore improperly used in among the Romans. vulgar language for any hurry or perturbation: perhaps, however, it is not improbable, that canaries Apensioner, in those times, meant a gentleis only a mistake of Mrs. Quickly's for quandaries. To wot is to know. man always attendant upon the person of the prince. frampald, or frampard, signities fretful, pecvish, cross, froward.

6

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but she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.

Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. 5 Quic. Blessing on your heart for't.

Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me?

Quic. That were a jest indeed!—they have not so 10 little grace, I hope:-that were a trick, indeed! But mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of ali loves!! her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in 13 Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You 20 must send her your page; no remedy.

Fal. Why, I will.

Quic. Nay, but do so then: and,look you,he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word2, that you may know one another's 25 mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them 30 both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor.— Boy, go along with this woman.This news distracts me! [Exeunt Quickly and Robin. Pist. This pink is one of Cupid's carriers;— Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights: 35 Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them [Exit Pisto

all!

Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the 40 expence of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: let them say, 'tis grossly done, so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack.

Fal. Brook, is his name?
Bard. Av, sir.

Fel. Call him in: [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks
are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor.
Ah! ah! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have
I encompass'd you go, to; via"!

Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguis'd. Ford. Bless you, sir.

Fal. And you, sir: Would you speak with me

1

Ford. I make bold, to press with so little preparation upon you.

Fd. You're welcome: What's your will? Give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook.

Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.

Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you"; for I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are: the which had something embolden'd me to this unseason'd intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.

Fal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.

Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.

Fal. Speak, good master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant.

Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,—I will be brief with you;-and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means, as desire, to make my self acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but good sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith' you yourself know, how easy it is to be such an offender.

Fal. Very well, sir, proceed.

Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, sir.

Ford. Ihave long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doting observance; engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'devery slight occasion,that could but niggardly. give me sight of her; not only bought many pre45 sents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given; briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath pursued me; which hath been, on the wing of ali occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, 50meed, I am sure, I have receiv'd none'; unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this: Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues, Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. Fal. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands?

55

Ford. Never.

Ful. Have you importun'd her to such a promise?

3

Of all loves, signifies no more than to send him by all means. 2 That is, a watch-word. Apink is a vessel of the small craft, employed as a carrier for merchants. Fights are cloaths hung round the ship to conceal the men from the enemy, and close-fights are bulk-heads, or any other shelter that the fabrick of a ship affords. A cant phrase of exultation common in the old plays. Meaning, not with a view of putting you to expence. That is, since. That is, reward.

Ford.

Ford. Never.

Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it.

Ful. To what purpose have you unfolded this

to me?

Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! Iknow him not-yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittoly knave hath masses of money; for the which, his wife seems to me well-fa5vour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that, though she appear honest to me, yet, in other places, she enlargeth 10 her mirth so far, that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance', authentic in your place and person, ge-15 nerally allow'd' for many war-like, court-like,| and learned preparations.

Fal. O sir!

Ford. Believe it, for you know it :-There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend 20 all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of woɔing, win her to consent to you; if any man

may, you may as soon as any.

Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.

Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might avoid him, if you saw him.

Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns: master Brook, thou shalt know, I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.-Come to me soon at night:Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold:-come to me soon at night. [Exit. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this!— My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who says, this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made:Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! my bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I 25 shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! -Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol! cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ainbling gelding, than my wife with herself; then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be prais'd for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock, the hour;-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page; I will about it;-better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! 45 cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!

Ford. Ô, understand my drift! she dwells so se-30 curely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves; 135 could drive her then from the ward ofherpurity,her reputation, hermarriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which are now too strongly embattled against me: What say you to't, sir John? Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with 40 your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.

Ford. O good sir!

Fal. Master Brook, I say you shall,

Ford. Want no money, sir John, you shall

want none.

Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you 50 came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

55

SCENE III.
Windsor Park.
Enter Caius and Rugby.

Caius. Jack Rugby?
Rug. Sir.

Caius. Vat is the clock, Jack?

[Exit.

Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh promis'd to meet.

Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.

Meaning, admitted into all, or the greatest companies. example. Meaning, the defence of it.

4

2 Allowed is approved. Instance is

Rug.

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