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third in your bosom : the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause : Ah, the immortal passado! the punto reverso ! the hay !
Ben. The what?
Mer. The pox of such antick, lisping, affecting fantasticoes; these new tuners of accents !-By Jesu, a very good blade !-a very tall man!-a very good whore ! Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange Alies, these fashion-mongers, these pardonnez-moy's, who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O, their bons, their bons !
Mer. Without his roe, like a dried herring :-O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified !-Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in ; Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen-wench ;-marry, she had a better love to be-rhyme her: Dido, a dowdy; Cleopatra, a gipsy; Helen and Hero, hildings and harlots; Thisbé, a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.--Signior Romeo, bon jour! there's a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
Rom. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you ?
Mer. The slip, sir, the slip ; Can you not conceive?
Rom. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great; and, in such a case as mine, a man may strain courtesy.
Mer. That's as much as to say—such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
Rom. Meaning, to court'sy.
Mer. Well said : Follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump; that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.
Rom. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness !
Mer. Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits fail.
Rom. Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or I'll cry a match.
Mer. Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chace, I have done; for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than, I am sure, I have in my whole five: Was I with you there for the goose ?
Rom. Thou wast never with me for any thing, when thou wast not there for the goose.
Mer. I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Mer. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce.
Rom. And is it not well served in to a sweet goose?
Mer. O, here's a wit of cheverel, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad !
Rom. I stretch it out for that word-broad: which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
Mer. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
Ben. Stop there, stop there.
Mer. Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
Ben. Thou would'st else have made thy tale large.
Mer. O, thou art deceived, I would have made it short: for I was come to the whole depth of my tale : and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
Rom. Here's goodly geer!
Enter Nurse and Peter.
Mer. Pr’ythee, do, good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer of the two.
Nurse. God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
Mer. 'Tis no less, I tell you; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
Nurse. Out upon you ! what a man are you?
Rom. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made himself to mar.
Nurse. By my troth, it is well said ;-For himself to mar, quoth'a ?-Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo ?
Rom. I can tell you ; but young Romeo will be older when you have found him, than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of that name, for 'fault of a worse.
Nurse. You say well.
Mer. Yea, is the worst well? very well took, i'faith; wisely, wisely.
Nurse. If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
Ben. She will indite him to some supper.
Mer. No hare, sir ; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
An old hure hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
But a hare that is hoar,
Is too much for a score,
When it hoars ere it be spent.Romeo, will you come to your father's ? we'll to dinner thither.
Rom. I will follow you. Mer. Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
[Exeunt Mercurio and Benvolio. Nurse. Marry, farewell !--I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this, that was so full of his ropery?
Rom. A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself
talk; and will speak more in a minute, than he will stand to in a month.
Nurse. An a' speak any thing against me, I'll take him down an a' were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his firtgills; I am none of his skains-mates :-And thou must stand by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure ?
Pet. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
Nurse. Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave !- Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly, it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
Rom. Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee,
Nurse. Good heart ! and, i’faith, I will tell her as much : Lord, lord, she will be a joyful woman.
Rom. What wilt thou tell her, nurse ? thou dost not mark me.
Nurse. I will tell her, sir,--that you do protest; which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
Rom. Bid her devise some means to come to shrift This afternoon;