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SCENE III.— The same. A Street.
Enter Launce, leading a dog. Laun. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the kind of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble-stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father ;-no, this left shoe is my father;—no, no, this left shoe is my mother;nay, that cannot be so neither ;-yes, it is so, it is so ; it hath the worser sole; This shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father; A vengeance on't! there 'tis: now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand : this hat is Nan, our maid ; I am the dog :-no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog,-0, the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing; now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on :-now come I to my mother, (O, that she could speak now !) like a wood woman ;-well, I kiss her;—why there 'tis; here's my mother's breath up
and down : now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes : now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
Enter PanthinO. Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weep'st thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.
Laun. It is no matter if the tyd were lost; for it is the unkindest ty'd that ever any man ty’d.
Pan. What's the unkindest tide ?
Pan. Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage; and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy service,-Why dost thou stop my mouth ?
Laun. For fear thou should'st lose thy tongue.
Laun. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service? The tide !—Why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
Pan. Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.
Laun. Sir, call me what thou darest.
[Exeunt. SCENE IV.- Milan. An apartment in the Duke's
Enter Valentine, Silvia, Thurio, and Speed. Sil. ServantVal. Mistress ? Speed. Master, sir Thurio frowns on you. Val. Ay, boy, it's for love. Speed. Not of you. Val. Of my mistress then. Speed. 'Twere good, you knocked him. Sil. Servant, you are sad. Val. Indeed, madam, I seem so. Thu. Seem you that you are not? Val. Haply, I do. Thu. So do counterfeits. Val. So do you. Thu. What seem I, that I am not? Val. Wise. Thu. What instance of the contrary? Val. Your folly. Thu. And how quote you my folly? Val. I quote it in your jerkin. Thu. My jerkin is a doublet. Val. Well, then, I'll double your folly. Thu. How? Sil. What, angry, sir Thurio? do you change colour?
Val. Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of cameleon.
Thu. That hath more mind to feed on your blood, than live in your air.
Val. You have said, sir.
Sil. A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.
Val. 'Tis indeed, madam ; we thank the giver.
Val. Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire: sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks, and spends what he borrows, kindly in your company.
Thu. Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.
Val. I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers; for it appears by their bare liveries, that they live by your bare words.
Sil. No more, gentlemen, no more; here comes my father.
Val. My lord, I will be thankful
Duke. Know you Don Antonio, your countryman?
Val. Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman
Duke. Hath he not a son ?
Val. Ay, my good lord ; a son, that well deserves The honour and regard of such a father.
Duke. You know him well ?
Val. I knew him, as myself; for from our infancy We have convers’d, and spent our hours together: And though myself have been an idle truant, Omitting the sweet benefit of time, To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection; Yet hath sir Proteus, for that's his name, Made use and fair advantage of his days; His years but young, but his experience old; His head unmellow'd, but his judgement ripe; And, in a word, (for far behind his worth Come all the praises that I now bestow,) He is complete in feature, and in mind, With all good grace to grace a gentleman.
Duke. Beshrew me, sir, but, if he make this good, He is as worthy for an empress' love, As meet to be an emperor's counsellor. Well, sir ; this gentleman is come to me, With commendation from great potentates; And here he means to spend his time a-while : I think, 'tis no unwelcome news to you.
Val. Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been he.
Duke. Welcome him then according to his worth ;
Val. This is the gentleman, I told your ladyship,
Sil. Belike, that now she hath enfranchis'd them