accomplishments may have, in recommending a man to others, none but the good is really happy in himself. 1401 FAMILY DISAGREEMENTS the frequent cause of IMMOR- 1. A FTER all our complaints of the uncertainty of human affairs, it is undoubtedly true, that more misery is produced among us by the irregularities of our tempers, than by real misfortunes. 2. And it is a circumstance particularly unhappy, that these irregularities of the temper are most apt to display themselves at our firesides, where every thing ought to be tranquil and serene. 3. But the truth is, we are awed by the presence of strangers, and are afraid of appearing weak and ill natured, when we act in sight of the world; and so, very heroically, reserve all our ill humor for our wives, children and servants. We are meek, where we might meet with opposition; but feel ourselves undauntedly bold, where we are sure of no effectual resistance. 4. The preservation of the best things converts them to the worst. Home is certainly well adapted to repose and solid enjoyment. Among parents and brothers, and all the tender charities of private life, the gentler affections, which are always attended with feelings purely and permanently pleasurable, find an ample scope for proper ex ertion. 5. The experienced have often declared, after wearying themselves in pursuing pliantoms, that they have found a substantial happiness in the domestic circle. Hither they have returned from their wild excursions in the regions of dissipation, as the bird, after fluttering in the air descends into her nest, to partake and increase its genial warmth with her young ones. 6. Such and so sweet are the comforts of home, when not perverted by the folly and weakness of man. Indifference, and a carelessness on the subject of pleasing those whom it is our best interest to please, often render it a scene of dulness and insipidity. 7. Happy would it be if the evil extended no farther. But the transition from the negative state of not being pleased, to positive ill humor, is but too easy. Fretfulness and peevishness arise, as nettles vegetate, spontaneously I 1 where no salutary plants are cultivated. One unkind expression infallibly generates many others. Trifles light as air are able to kindle the blaze of contention. 8. By frequent conflicts and unreserved familiarity, all that mutual respect which is necessary to preserve love, even in the most intimate connections, is intirely lost; and the faint affection which remains, is too feeble to be felt amid the furious operation of the hateful passions. 9. Farewel peace and tranquility, and cheerful converse, and all the boasted comforts of the family circle. The nest, which should preserve a perpetual warmth by the constancy of paternal and conjugal affection, is rendered cold and joyless. In the place of the soft down which should cover it, are substituted thorns and briars. 10. The waters of strife, to make use of the beautiful allusion of scripture, rush in with impetuous violence, and ruffle and discolor that stream, which in its natural and undisturbed current, devolves its waters all smooth and limpid. 11. But it is not necessary to expatiate on the misery of family dissension. I mean more particularly to suggest, family dissension, besides all its own immediate evils, is the fruitful parent of moral misconduct. 12. When the several parts, which compose a family, find themselves uneasy in that home which is naturally the seat of mutual enjoyment, they are tempted from the strait road of common prudence, to pursue their happiness through a devious wild of passion and imagination. 13. The son, arrived at years of maturity, who is treated harshly at home, will seldom spend his evenings at the domestic fire-side. If he lives in the city, he will fly for refuge to company, and in the end, it is very probable he will form some unhappy connection, which cannot be continued without a plentiful supply of money. 14. Money, it is probable, cannot be procured. What then remains, but to pursue those methods which unprincipled ingenuity has invented, and which, sooner or later, lead to their proper punishments, pain, shame and death! 15. But though the consequences are not always such as the operation of human laws produce, yet they are always terrible, and destructive of happiness and virtue. 16. Misery is indeed the necessary result of all deviation from rectitude; but early debauchery, early disease, early profligacy of all kinds, are peculiarly fruitful of wretchedness, as they sow the seeds of misery in the spring of life, when all that is sown takes deep root, and buds and blossoms, and brings forth fruit in profuse abundance. 17. In the disagreements between children and parents, it is certain that the children are usually most culpable.Their violent passions and defective experience, render them disobedient and undutiful. Their love of pleasure operates so violently as often to destroy the source of filial affection. 18. A parent is stung to the heart by the ingratitude of a child. He checks his precipitancy, and perhaps with too little command of temper; for who can always hold the reigns? Asperity produces asperity. But the child was the aggressor and therefore deserves a great part of the misery which ensues. 19. It is however, certain that the parent is often imprudent, as well as the child undutiful. He should endeavor to render home agreeable, by gentleness and reasonable indulgence; for man at every age, seeks to be pleased, but more particularly at the juvenile age. 20. He should indeed maintain his authority; but it should be like the mild dominion of a limited monarch, and not the iron rule of an austere tyrant. If home is rendered pleasing, it will not be long deserted. The prodigal will soon return, when his father's house is always ready to receive him with joy. 21. What is said of the consequences of domestic disunion to sons, is equally to be applied to daughters. Indeed, as the misconduct of daughters is more fatal to family peace, though perhaps not more heinous in a moral view, particular care should be taken to render them attached to the comforts of the family circle. 22. When their home is disagreeable, they will be ready to make any exchange; and will often lose their characters, virtue and happiness, in the pursuit of it. Indeed the female character and happiness are so easily injured, that no solicitude can be too great in their preservation. But prudence is necessary in every good cause, as well as zeal; and it is found by experience, that the gentlest method of government, if it is limited and directed by good sense, is the best. 23. It ought indeed to be steady, but not rigid; and 857061 A every pleasure which is innocent in itself and its conscquences, ought to be admitted, with a view to render less disagreeable that unwinking vigilance, which a delicate and sensible parent will judge necessary to be used in the care of a daughter. 24. To what wickedness as well as wretchedness matrimonial disagreements lead, every day's history will clearly inform us. When the husband is driven from his home by a termagant, he will seek enjoyment, which is denied him at home, in the haunts of vice, and in the riots of intemperance; Nor can female corruption be wondered at, tho it must be greatly pitied and regretted, when, in the heart of a husband, which love and friendship should warm, hatred is found to rankle. 25. Conjugal infelicity not only renders life most uncomfortable, but leads to desperate dissoluteness, and carelesness in manners, which terminate in the ruin of health, peace and fortune. 26. But it avails little to point out evils without recommending a remedy. One of the first rules which suggests itself is, that families should endeavor, by often and seriously reflecting on the subject, to convince themselves that not only the enjoyments but the virtues of every individual greatly depend on a cordial union. 27. When they are convinced of this, they will endeavor to promote it; and it fortunately happens, that the very wish and attempt of every individual must infallibly secure success. It may, indeed, be difficult to restrain the occasional sallies of temper; but where there is, in the more dispassionate moments, a settled desire to preserve domestic union, the transient violence of passion will not often produce a permanent rupture. 28. It is another most excellent rule, to avoid a gross familiarity, even where the connection is most intimate.The human heart is so constructed as to love respect. It would indeed be unnatural in very intimate friends to behave to each other with stiffness; but there is a delicacy of manner, and a flattering deference, that tend to preserve that degree of esteem which is necessary to support affection, and which is lost in contempt, when it deviates into excessive familiarity. 29. An habitual politeness of manners will prevent even indifference from degenerating to hatred. It will refine exalt and perpetuate affection. 30. But the best and most efficacious rule is, that we should not think our moral and religious duties are only to be practised in public, and in the sight of those from whose applause we expect the gratification of our vanity, ambition or avarice: But that we should be equally attentive to our behavior among those who can only pay us by reciprocal love. 31. We must shew the sincerity of our principles and professions by acting consistent with them, not only in the legislature, in the field, in the pulpit, at the bar, or in any public assembly, but at the fire side.. SELF-TORMENTING. ON'T meddle with that gun Billy," said a care. ful mother; "if it should go off, it would kill you." "It is not charged, mother," says Will. "Well! but may be," says the good old woman, "it will go off, even if it isn't charged."- "But there is no lock on it ma'am." "O dear Billy, I am afraid the hollow thing there, the barrel, I think you call it, will shoot, if there is no lock." 2. Don't laugh at the old lady. Two thirds of our fears and apprehensions of the evils and mischiefs of this life, are just as well grounded, as hers were in this case. 3. There are many unavoidable evils in life, which it becomes us as men and as Christians, to bear with fortitude; and there is a certain period assigned to us ail, and yet dreaded by most of us, wherein we must conflict with death and finally lose connection with all things beneath These things are beyond our utmost power to resist, or sagacity to evade.. the sun. 4. It is our wisest part, therefore, to prepare to encounter them in such a manner as shall do honor to our profession, and manifest a perfect conformity to that directory on which our profession stands. But why need we anticipate unavoidable evils, and "feel a thousand deaths in fearing one?” 5. Why need a woman be everlastingly burying her children, in her imagination, and spend her whole time in a fancied course of bereavment, because they are mortal and must die sometime or other? A divine teacher says, "sufficient for the day is the evil thereof;" but we put new and unnecessary gall in all the bitter cups we have to |