anfwer for them. How do I preferve pears till the month of June, and surely they are more delicate than potatoes?" I know how clever my wife is at these things; her preferves are excellent, and there is not a week but fome of our friends are not forced to fend to us for a pot or two, when their own are all spoiled, and my wife always takes care to have enough on that very account.

Well, Sir, next day my wife begged of me to dine at the coffeehouse, because I knew the kitchen would be quite taken up with the mafon; and the was determined to lofe no time, for fhe would have a loaf ready to put in as foon as the oven was fet. Well, Sir, I went to the coffeehoufe, and told my friends how neceffary it was for every body to fet an example in thefe hard times of eating a mixed bread, and that I was determined to introduce it in my own family. Indeed, I faid, my wife was actually about it. "Ay, Mr.

Cakeling," faid a neighbour, "you are the man to lead us the way; you have a wife that knows how to do every thing. I'll be bound that the makes bread fit for a prince, if the fets about it." This is the way, Mr. Editor, that all my friends fpeak about my wife, fhe has got fuch a name for clevernefs. So I went home quite full of our new bread-No-quite elated I mean; for, oh! Mr. Editor, to this day, and it is fix weeks ago fince we began to bake, I have not got a bellyful of home-made bread.

I wish I had time to go through all our experiments. One time our loaf would not rife; another time it would not come out; it fuck faft to the bottom; it wanted falt; it had too much falt; it was too wet; it was too dry; it was fometimes quite dough, but in general it was burnt to a cinder. It went on this way for the first week; my wife and I could not discover the reason. We had tried potatoes in every way; we had boiled them, mafhed them, pulverized them, poured water after water upon them to make them

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white

white; we had reduced (I say we, for, being a national object, I was happy to take a part; befides, I own I was a little on the alert, for I had promifed my friends at the coffeehouse to bring them a loaf)—we had reduced twenty pounds of potatoes to two, and I had made excellent ftarch of it, though we could not make bread. We had confumed half the ftock of potatoes that was to have ferved us all the winter, without getting a fingle loaf that was eatable. My wife cried for vexation. She was fure there must be fomething in the matter that we did not dream of, for fhe knew as well how to make bread as any baker in Scotland, but the would find it out before the flept.

An old baker, who had now turned flour-factor, of our acquaintance, was called in, not because she did not know as well as any baker in Scotland how to make bread, but there might be fome knack in managing the oven, that he was unacquainted with-fomething in the way of heating it, or of putting the bread in it, or of taking it out; in fhort, for once fhe would take advice. "Lord, Ma'am!" fays the flour-factor, "it is no wonder you could not fucceed-why, Ma'am, you have got one of those kickshaw iron ovens. Lord blefs you! they don't anfwer. They'd burn all the bread in the world before, they 'd bake it. There's no doing any good with an iron oven." My wife was ftruck dumb; but the yet was fatisfied fhe was completely acquitted; the fault did not lie with her; but, however, it would be eafy to alter it; a fmall oven might be built for a mere trifle on the good old plan, and an oven I accordingly got.

But mark the confequences. The kitchen chimney was torn down, and fomehow or other the flue was injured. It was impoffible to live in it for fmoke. My maid gave us warning, fhe could not live in it, and I was forced to dine at the coffeehoufe every day. My wife, however, is a woman of refource. She applied to an ingenious mechanic who has great fkill in chim

nies. This man has invented a fine apparatus for à kitchen. He has a range that docs every thing. It boils, roafts, ftews, and bakes, all by the fame fire, and the expenfe is nothing, for it faves itfelf in fire in a twelvemonth. Nothing would fatisfy my wife but to have this new-fashioned range, and accordingly, at an expense of more than fifty pounds, I have got my kitchen metamorphofed; and I am making mixed bread at no allowance.

My wife has got into the way. This caft-iron oven on the new plan fucceeds to a miracle; and I fhould be quite happy if it were not for the expenfe; but really, Mr. Editor, there is nothing fo dear as economy. I calculate that every quartern loaf of bread which I make cofts me half-a-crown; and this is not the worst of it; fometimes we all get the gripes into the bargain. I believe that my apothecary's bill will come to a good round fum for counteracting the effects of the ftaff of life.

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I do not afcribe this to my wife; no, Sir, she is the best woman upon earth; but you know it was natural that the fhould try all mixtures. So one day we had wheat and barley, and that gave us the dyfentery; the next we had a mixture of oatmeal, and that put our blood into a fever; on the third we had potatoe bread, and then we had indigeftion. In fhort, without knowing at first the reason, we have all been unwell; have all had occafion for the apothecary; and we are all beginning again, without venturing, however, to fay fo, to with for plain old household bread from the baker.

My neighbours have, fomchow or another, found this out, and I am truly to be pitied. They ask me jeeringly how many hundred weight of potatoes go to a quartern loaf; and the very flour-factor that my wife called in faid to my face at the coffeehouse, that if this faving plan went on, all the flour in the kingdom would be wasted; and to tell you the truth, I begin to think fo. CHRIST, CAKELING.

ALONZ

ALONZO THE BRAVE AND FAIR IMOGINE.

A

A ROMANCE *.

WARRIOR fo bold, and a virgin fo bright,
Convers'd as they fat on the green;

They gaz'd on each other with tender delight!
Alonzo the Brave was the name of the knight-
The maid's was the Fair Imogine.

"And, oh" faid the youth, "fince to-morrow I go
To fight in fome far diftant land,

Your tears for my abfence foon leaving to flow,
Some other will court you, and you will bestow
On a wealthier fuitor your hand!”

"Oh hufh thefe fufpicions," Fair Imogine faid,
"Offenfive to love and to me:

For if you be living, or if you be dead.
I fwear by the Virgin, that none in your ftead
Shall husband of Imogine be.

"If e'er I, by luft or by wealth led afide,
Forget my Alonzo the Brave,

God grant, that to punifh my falfehood and pride,
Your ghoft at the marriage may fit by my fide;
May tax me with perjury, claim me as bride-
And bear me away to the grave!"

To Paleftine haften'd the Hero fo bold;
His love the lamented him fore :-
But fcarce had a twelvemonth elaps'd, when, behold,
A Baron, all cover'd with jewels and gold
Arriv'd at Fair Imogine's door!

His treasure, his prefents, his fpacious domain,
Soon made her untrue to her vows;

He dazzled her eyes, he bewilder'd her brain;
He caught her affections fo light and fo vain-
And carried her home as his spouse!

*This beautiful piece of poetry is extracted from a romance called the Monk, written by Mr. G. P. Lewis, M. P. As it paffes to us through the medium of the newspapers, it appears to come properly enough within our plan.

And

And now had the marriage been bleft by the prieft;
The revelry now was begun;

The tables they groan'd with the weight of the feast;
Nor yet had the laughter and merriment ceas'd,
When the bell at the caftle toil'd -ONE!

Then firft, with amazement, Fair Imogine found,
That a stranger was plac'd by her fide:

His air was terrific; he utter'd no found:
He spoke not, he mov'd not, he look'd not around
But earnestly gaz'd on the bride!

His vifor was clos'd, and gigantic his height!
His armour was fable to view :-

All pleafure and laughter were hufh'd at his fight;
The dogs, as they ey'd him, drew back in affright;
The lights in the chamber burn'd blue!

His prefence all bofoms appear'd to difmay;
The guefts fat in filence and fear;

At length spoke the Bride, while the trembled." I pray,
Sir Knight, that your helmet afide you would lay,
And deign to partake of our cheer!"

The lady is filent; the ft anger complies;
His vifor he flowly unclos'd:-

Oh, God! what a fight met Fair Imogine's eyes!
What words can exprefs her difmay and furprife,
When a fkeleton's head was expos'd!

All present then utter'd a terrified shout,

All turn'd with disguft from the scene;
The worms they crept in, and the worms they crept out,
And fported his eyes and his temples about,
While the spectre addrefs'd Imogine:

"Behold me, thou falfe one; behold me!" he tried,
"Remember Alonzo the Brave!

God grants, that, to punish thy falsehood and pride,
My ghoft at thy marriage should fit by thy fide;
Should tax thee with perjury, claim thee as bride,
And bear thee away to the grave!"

Thus faying, his arms round the lady he wound,
While loudly the fhriek'd in difmay;

Then funk with his prey through the wide-yawning ground!
Nor ever again was Fair Imogine found,

Or the fpectre who bore her away.

Not