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2 Watch. How, if they will not?
Dogb. Why then, let them alone till they are sober ; if they make you not then the better an swer, you may say, they are not the men you took them for.
2 Watch. Well, sir.
Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.
2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him ?
Dogb. Truly, by your office, you may; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defled: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, partner,
Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will; much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse, and bid her still it.
2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us.
Dogb. Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.
Verg. 'Tis very true. Dogb. This is the end of the charge. You, con stable, are. to present the prince's own person ; if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay him.,
Verg: Nay by'r lady, that, I think, he cannot.
Dogb. Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows the statues, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing: for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.
Verg. By’r lady, I think, it be so.
Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows' counsels and your own, and good night. - Come, neighbour.
2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge : let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to-bed.
Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours: I pray you, watch about signior Leonato's door ; for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night: Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you.
[Exeunt DogBERRY and VERGES.
Bora. What! Conrade,
Bora. Stand thee close then under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
Watch. [ Aside.] Some treason, masters; yet stand close.
Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
Con. Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?
Borå. Thou should'st rather ask, if sible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.
Con. I wonder at it.
Bora. That shows, thou art unconfirmed 4: Thou knowest, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat; or a cloak, is nothing to a man.
4 Unpractised in the ways of the world.
Con. Yes, it is apparel.
Bora. Tush ! I may as well say, the fool's the fool. But see'st thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is ?
Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven year ; he goes up and down like a gentleman : I remember his name. Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody? Con. No; 'twas the vane on the house.
Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods, between fourteen and five-and-thirty?
Con. All this I see; and see, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man: But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion ?
Bora. Not so, neither : but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress' chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night, - I tell this tale vilely :- I should first tell thee, how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted, and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Con. And thought they, Margaret was Hero?
Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret ; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what
he saw over-night, and send her home again without a husband.
1 Watch. We charge you in the prince's name, stand.
2 Watch. Call up the right master constable: We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of Jechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.
1. Watch. And one Deformed is one of them ; I know him, he wears a lock.
Con. Masters, masters.
2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.
1 Watch. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us.
Bora. We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these men's bills.
Con. A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we'll obey you.
A Room in Leonato's House.
Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA.
Hero. Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise.
Urs. I will, lady.
[Exit URSULA. Marg. Troth, I think, your other rabato s were better.
Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.
Marg. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your cousin will say so.
Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another; I'll wear none but this.
Marg. I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner: and your gown's a most rare fashion. I saw the duchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so.
Hero. O that exceeds, they say.
Marg. By my troth it's but a night-gown in respect of yours : Cloth of gold, and cuts, and laced with silver ; set with pearls, down sleeves, sidesleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a blueish tinsel : but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't.
Hero. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy!
Hero. Good morrow, coz.
Beat. Good morrow, sweet Hero. 'Tis almost five o'clock, coasin ; 'tis time you were ready. By my troth I am exceeding ill: – hey ho! Marg. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband ? Beat. By my troth, I am sick.
Marg, Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus, and lay it to your heart; it is the only thing for a qualm.
Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thistle.
Beat. Benedictus ! why Benedictus? you have some moral in this Benedictus.
Marg. Moral ? no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love : nay, by'r lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love; yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he