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the banks of the Nith, which somehow or other fell into the hands of ill Jock B
Ballað. Slander would insinuate that the
poor simple man was fraudulently bereaved of his posses. sions by the crafty lawyer, but I cannot afford the report any degree of credit. Jock cer
BY THOMAS MOORE, ESQ. tainly was a fellow of uncommon parts, shrewd, penetrating, and decisive, and well TIIOU hast sent me a flowery band, deserved the many favours which fortune That the leaves were untouch'd by the hand,
And told me 'twas fresh from the field; showered on his superior genius; but he had
And the purest of odours would yield. the misfortune to incur the displeasure of that class of mankind commonly called the vulgar, And indeed it is fragrant and fair; who scrupled not to vilify his character in But, if it were handled by thee, the broad face of day, and even hinted that it would bloom with a livelier air, he had dealings with the devil. Be that as And would surely be sweeter to me! it will, Robin saddled all his misfortunes on Jock's back. For many years previous to his Then take it, and let it entwine dissolution, our merchant was in the constant Thy tresses, so flowing and bright; habit of going on a pilgrimage to Tevery
And each little floweret will shine twelve months at least, for the express pur.
More rich than a gem to my sight. pose of giving vent to his wrath; and, what Let the odorous gale of thy breatha is very remarkable, on these solemn occasions
Embalm it with many a sigh; no sort of illiberal abuse was poured forth; Nay, let it be withered to death on the contrary his soliloquy was temperate, Beneath the warm poon of thine oye. though very laconic and pregnant with meaning, being comprised in a single word three And, instead of the dow that it bears, tines repeated. On approaching the gate, The dew dropping fresh from the tree; Robin caused his ass to face about, I suppose On its leaves let me number the tears for the purpose of bearing witness of what That Affection has stolen from thee! was about to be done ; and steadfastly setting his
eyes upon the mansion where the supposed Anthor of his wrongs resided, he cried with all his might “ Robbery! robbery! robbery!"
Bon Mots. The gall of bitterness being expended in these three vollies, Robin Wightman betook MATRIMONY.-In a village of Picardy, him to his wonted courses, till such time as recollection thoroughly fermented his passions, into a lethargy. Her husband was willing;
after a long sickness, a farmer's wife fell and then the same scene was acted.
To enumerate the many rural tales told of good man, to believe her out of pain; and Robin and his ass would be a long-winded she was wrapped in a sheet, and carried out
so, according to the custom of that country, task indeed, therefore will I close the dis- to be buried, But as ill luck would have course by cherishing a hope that their names will long live on the tongue of rustic tradi- that the thorns pierced the sheet, and waked
it, the bearers carried her so near a hedge, tion. Indeed, 1 an almost of opinion that the woman from her trance. Some years the memory of two such characters, whose harmless and inoffensive lives contributed so much to the amusement of no less than to four * This ballad was probably suggested by the counties, is more worthy of being treasured following Epigram
in MARTIAL : up in our hearts than that of an Alexander, Intactas quare mittis mihi, Polla, coronas, whose name ought to rot in the grave with
A te vexatas malo tenere rosas.
Epig. xc. lib. II.-E.
Reekie lun-Smoaky Chimney.
is part of a very ancient song, called “Take your old Cloak about ye"-The meaning of the Words is-rain raiu'd cold, and frost and show on every hill,
Chaunter—the whistle of a Highlander's bag-pipe.
thus-Indeed, I am not to blame; suppose
OR THE MAN OF REAL ELEGANCE.
after, she died in reality; and as the funeral passed along, the husband would every now and then call out, “ Not too near the hedge,
Characters. not too near the hedge, neighbours !
EUGENIO, PRECEDENCE.-A lawyer and a physi. cian having a dispute about precedency, referred the cause to Diogenes, who gave sentence in favour of the lawyer, saying, “Let EUGENIO is blest with a grace in con. the thief go before, and the executioner versation, and a taste in society, superior to follow."
any man with whom I hail ever the lapp
ness to be acquainted. There arises from THE JUDGE AND THE WITNESS.
the vivacity of his fancy, the delicacy of Among the many anecdotes which the great unaffect-d, arrangement of his words, -de
his sentiments, and the beautiful, though Lord Mansfield used to relate, was the fol- livered with freedom of countenance and lowing :-A St. Giles's bird appeared as an
sweetness of voice,-such an ivexpressible evidence before him in some trial concerning a quarrel, and so confounded his lord- of all who hear him.
charm as pleasingly bewitches the attention ship with his slang, that he was obliged to dismiss him without getting any information the most becoming air of gravity and reflec
He can discant upon serious affairs with from him. He was desired to give an account of all he knew about the business
. tion, without the least mixture of austerity, “Why, my lord," said he, “as I was coming
or philosophical affectation ; and, in the to round the corner of the street, I stagged the raise innocent and instructive mirth from
more easy hours of social pleasure, he can man.” –“ Pray,” said
lord Mansfield, “what the slightest accident that happens, and conis stagging a man?"-"Stagging, my lord; vert the most common subjects into a thouwhy you see I was down upon him.”-.Well, sand pleasantries of wit and humour. but I don't understand down upon him any
One would imagine that Shakespeare had more than stagging, Do speak to be under- been acquainted with such a man, when he stood."--"Why, an't please your lordship, drew in so lively a manner the character of I speak as well as I can. I was up, you see Biron in Love's Labour Lost. to all he knew."-" To all he knew I am as much in the dark as ever."-"Well, then,
A merrier man, my lord, l'll tell you how it was."-Do so. “ Within the limits of becoming mirth,
Why, my lord, seeing as how he was a rum I never spent an hour's talk withal. kid, I was one upon his tibby." The fellow • Jlis eye begets occasion for his wit; was at length sent out of court, and was
“ For every object that the one doth catch, heard to say to one of his coinpanions, that
“ The other turns to a mirth-moving jest,
" Which his fair tongue (conceit's expositor) he had gloriously queered old full-bottom.
“ Delivers in such apt and gracious words,
“That aged ears play truant at his tales, THE JUDGE AND THE CULPRIT. " And younger hearings are quite ravisbed;
“ So sweet and valuable is his discourse." The great lord chief justice Holt, when young, was very extravagant, and belonged
But Eugenio's chief excellence consists to a club of wild fellows, most of whom
in addressing the fair; then, as old Homer took to an infamons course of life. When his lordship was engaged at the Old Bailey, says, I have heard words flow from him a man was tried and convicted of a robbery “ Soft as the fleeces of descending snow," on the bigb way, whom the judge remembered to have been one of his old compani. or, as Dryden has beautifully copied and Moved by that curiosity which is na
improved the same idea, when he applies it to tural on a retrospection of past life, Holt the soft subject of which I am speaking, in his thinking the fellow did not know him, Spanish Fryar, making Leonora describe the asked what was become of such and such
aildresses of Torrimond in the following
manner : of his old associates. The culprit, making a low bow, and fetching a deep, sigh, said, “ But when he spoke, what tender words he said! • Ab, my lord ! they are all hanged but “So soft, that like the flakes of feather'd snow, your lordship and I."
« They melted as they fell."
This happy art, of softly breathing the A GENTLEMAN on going out shooting one fervour of one soul into another, is so pe frosty morning, desired his friend to lend him culiar to Eugenio, that insensibility berself, sumie money." That,” said he, “is needless, in the shape of a woman, might lose her for if you have any thing to pay, you can nature in hearing, and learn to feel, sbould leave your gun tu dischurge the shot." he atteinpt the miracle.
Erwan Her tongue might more reform the age trust which is still current in the city :
I hare often observed, that this enchant-
ON DOCTOR FRANKLIN.
Here lies the Body of
Its contents worn out
And stript of its lettering and gilding,
Lies here, food for worms.
But it shall, as he believed,
Once more appear,
In a new and beautiful edition,
Corrected and revised by
IN ST. NICHOLS' CHURCH.YARD,
HERE lies a Marksman, who with art and skill,
When young and strong, fat Bucks and Does did The ladies nor the Lord,
kill. Behold a nyinph who well may stand
Now conquer'd by grim death-go reader, tell it, An angel on record.
He's now ta'en leave of powder. gun, and pellet:
A fatal dart, which in the dark did fly,
Has dropt him down among the dead to lie.
If any want to know the poor slave's name, No scandal, twice or thrice refin'd,
'Twas old Tom Booth-ne'er ask from whence Adds sweetness to her tea.
IN ST. MARTIN'S CHURCH-YARD,
EARTH walks upon earth, glitt'ring like gold;
Earth goes to earth sooner than it would; (Such grace to her is given),
Earth builds upon earth, castles and towers; She would not tell a single fib,
Says the earth to the earth, all shall be ours,
We live and die, and hope to live eternally.
ON JOSEPH CRUMP, a Musician
ONCE ruddy and plump,
Lies honest Joe CRUMP,
He's laid on his rump,
Yet up he shall jump,
When he bears the last trump,
And triumph o'er Death and the Devil.
IN ST. MARY'S CHURCH-YARD, SOUTH. lle comes to Athens, and he writes--his pame!
A man to cruelty and fear unknown
He died a martyr to a disorder,
Which very near on gout did horder,
When he had lost two children dear,
Which very much his frame did hurt
This Epigram as follows:
ON ONE WHO SUBSISTED ON ALE.
make her a happy wife-the false swain had
each time deceived the fond fair one, who was HERE old John Randul lies, who telling of his tale,
at last persuaded by a friend, that the cryer Liv'd three-score years and ten,--such virtue might bring the deceiver to a sense of hovor: was in ale.
the bell-man, in consequence, was employed Ale was his meat, ale was his drink, Ale did his to state particulars, and offer a reward for heart revive,
tidings of the runaway. And if he could bare drank his ale, he still had been alive.
AMONG the costly rarities in the dessert at IN A CHURCH YARD IN NORFOLK.
an entertainment lately given by Sir Charles hace Morgan, were sixty plates of strawberries
, HERE lies Matthew Mud,
which cost one guinea a plate-Proh Pudor!
IN the 26th number of Blackwood's Magao sa has Inscription.
zine, the following notice under the head of Literary and Scientific intelligence may be perceived by the learned and curious. “Steam
boat.--A trial was made at Milan, on the 19th IN MEMORY OF JOHN FISHER,
of February, with a boat on a new construcWho was drowned in the river Witham (near tion, which moves either with or against the
Langrick Ferry) by the overselting of a stream, by means of machinery, without the date pleasure Boat, on Good Friday, April 16ch aid of steam, moved by the power of six men, 1813, in the 21st yeur of his aye.
carrying a load of one half of its own weight Here mortal stop,--and pass not on,
which is stated to have answered every ex• But deign to heave a sigh ;
pectation, Bravo! a eteam-boat without Beneath this monumental stone
A DEAR KISS.
WILLIAM ANDREWS was, the other day,
Pershore, Scotland, for rudely kissing in the
A MODEST HAIR DRESSER.
contains an adrer. WHEN the Rev. J. Clark, late master of the tisement from a “prize hair-dresser," who Charter-house, in Hull, was Curate of St. after returning thanks for favours received, Trinity, four couple were married by him thus eloquently proceeds :-" He is returned at the same time, and the following odd from London, where his luxurious fancy has circumstances attended each.With regard to been ardently employed in sources of new the first couple, the bridegroom had forgot to discovery for the embellishment of his volabring a ring, in consequence of which he was ries; but as there are arrogant and empyrical obliged to borrow one; the bride of the se- pretenders in his immediate neighbourhood
, cond had lost that finger upon which the ring it is an imperative duty to caution. It is disis commonly put; a man, violently shaking tressing to witness the havoc those voracious the iron gates leading into the church, said and superficial quacks make on a head of bair. aloud, that the third bride had already a hus- - Pyke's abilities are amply sufficient to exband, and with regard to the fourth, one of cite the envy of a certain professional calumthe bridegrooms implored the parson to be niator.” quick as the bride was in labour. MALFORMATIONS. - Dr. Orrey, in the
1 MATRIMONIAL DISAPPOINTMENT. Supplementary Journal of the Dictionary of
Medical Sciences, gives an account of two A FAIR tapstress at one of the houses of children, who each present six fingers and six public resort in Cheltenham, has been thrice toes on their different extremities. They were led to church within the last month, by the completely idiotic, and their limbs had alpromises of a favourite lover, to meet and quired an undue development
the expence of the head and trunk; their paidéer, rents were in every respect naturally formed.
M. Bidault de Villiers mentions another vaa un riety of sex digital malformation - hitherto unannoticed, which consisted in the existence of a en is supernumerary thumb; this like all the fingers
of a similar nature, was smaller than its asso-
"Yes," says Strange (rather sore) “ I'm sure there's one Moore,
" A most terrible knave and a bite, " Who cheated his mother, “ His sister and brother, " O, yes,
reply'd Moore, that is Wright."
WHAT IS LIFE!
“And do you ask me“ what is Life?"
And do you ask me " what is pleasure ?"-IL Hall . Sailors rigged complete frou stem to
My muse and I are not at strife, Carstwie stern, viz. chapean, mapeau, flying-gib, and
So listen lady, to my measure: flesh-jack; inner pea, outer pea, and cord de
Listen amid thy graceful leisure, fender; rudder-case and service to the same,
To what is Life,-and what is pleasure: ca 4 up-traders, down-traders, fore-shoes, lacings,
"Tis Life to see the first dawn stain
With sallow light the window pane;
To dress-ato wear a rough drab coat,
With large pearl buttons all afloat
Upon the waves of plush:- To tie
A kerchief of the king-cup dye,
(White spotted with a small bird's eye,)
Around the neck,--and from ibe napu
To quit the house at morning's prime,
At six or so-about the time
When watchmen, couscious of the day, since the residence there of the King of Por
Puff out their lanthorn's rushlight ray;-mgal, have devoted themselves with so much
Just when the silent streets are strewni success in the cultivation of tea, that there are
With level shadows, and the moon in the now three thousand trees in full bearing.
Takes the day's wink and walks aside
"Tis life to reach the livery stable,
Secure the ribbons and the day-bill, invented a machine to take the glare of white
And mount a gig that had a spring
Some summers back, and then take wing paper or needlework, and which cools and
Behind, (in Mr. Hamlet's tongue.) sostens the rays of light issuing from a lamp
A jade, whose“ withers are unwrung;" or candle. It sheds a delicate tinge of green
Who stands erect, and yet forlorn, upon any substance placed within its influence,
And from a half-pay life of corn, and renders print, however small, quite dis
Shewing as many points each way,
As Martial's Epigrammata;
Like one undestined to repose.
"Tis Life to revel down the road,
And qucer each o'er-fraught chaise's load; hood a few days since :-“ To curing your
To rave and rattle at the gate,
And shower upon the yatherer's pate;
A glass or so,-'tis life to take it!
To see the Hurst with tents encampt on;
Into the yard, and clean'd, and fed ;)
Talk to Dav' Hudson, and Cy' Davis,
(The last a fighting rara avis.)
'lis Life to cross the laden ferry,
With boon companions, wild and merry, . The whole town will agree,
And see the ring upon the Hurst
With carts encircled-hear the burst