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No. 5. Vol. II.)


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stranger shonld take so great an interest in Anecdotes.

your affairs, as to have, a: The risk of his own lise, or at least of his liberty, revealed to you

the secrets of the state. And, besides, you MONTESQUIEU AND LORD CHES. would have seen, how very unlikely it was, TERFIELD.

that a man in a low situation of life should be MONTESQUIEU, whilst travelling in Italy, acquainted with the measures of the Inquisition met Lord Chesterfield. They already knew -a tribunal, the secrets of which, Mr. Moneach other

, and though wits of different stamps tesquieu had himself in his journal said, were and characters, were very intimate. They ac- impenetrable.” Lord Chesterfield then concordingly agreed to pursue their route toge. fessed that he had sent the man. ther, and on their way the conversation naturally fell on the difference of character in a

FREDERICK THE GREAT, Frenchman and an Englishınan. Jiontesquieu founded the preference he gave to his own countrymen on their superior wit-Chester- FREDERICK, king of Prussia, althongh field , in granting them that quality, contested

severe, nay, at times cruelin his administration that Englishmen possessed 'a much greater of justice, knew sometimes, by an act of cleshare of good sense. They disputed a long mency, how to gain the hearts of his subjects. time on the pre-eminence of these qualifica Always austere and distant towards his general tions. The latter supported his opinion with otticers, he nevertheless was popular and famia coolness which onls serred to indame the liar with his soldiers, who never aduressed him Batural vivacity of the former-and, as in all otherwise, than by the friendly name of fases of this nature, though they often renewed Frederic, and with a thee and thon. Some the argument, yet neither would yield his time before the battle of Rosbach, a time point. When arrived at Venice, Montesquieu, when this prince was not in the most prospereurious and active, was accustomed to rise

ous situation, indeed, when it appeared ihat early, and to sally forth to examine every

he was near bis total ruin, one night, as he thing worthy of notice, whether relating to

was sleeping upon straw, surrounded by his public edifices, or the government of the grenadiers, in a very marshy spot,--a sollier, country, or the customs of its inhabitants. On named Spencer, awakened him, saying, bis return home, he would write down the Frederick, here is one of thy grenadiers, most minute details of all be had seen or

who had deserted, and is brought back."heard, and daily read his observations to Lord

“ Bid him advance," replied the king. Wheir Chesterfield. He had nearly completed his he was in his presence, he enquired the reason remarks, when a stranger requested to speak of his conduct

. Thy affairs,” said the ps to him in secret. When introduced, the un- prisoner, “ were so desperate, that I abandoned

known spoke much of his attachment to the thee, to seek my fortune in a better service." French nation, which attachunent was, indeed,

“ Thou wert right,” exclaimed Frederick ; the cause of his mysterious visit. That he “ but I request of thee to remain with me this came to warn Mr. Montesquieu, that the In- campaign; and, if fortune should prove unquisition had for some time been alarmed by favourable still, I will myself desert with his researches ; and that they had at length thee." determined tu send and seize his papers, in which, should there be any remarks on go

THE SUICIDE. Fernment, the consequences might be fatal to kim. Our traveller, intimidated by this intelligence, was profuse in his acknowledgements

To the Editor of the Tickler Magazine. to the friendly stranger, whom he disinissed THE following circumstance occurred some with a handsome present; and having first little time ago, if you think it worthy yout committed his precious papers to the flames, publication. be hastened to his friend's apartment to relate

Your's &c, WP to bim bis misfortune. Lord Chesterlield, At a village, not an hundred miles from having heard the tale, in the most

phlegmatic Grays, Essex, resides a poor industrious labourmanner answered, “ you have acted no doubt ing man; at the back of his house is a small with much wit. But had you put a little goud piece of ground, whereon he grew potatoes, sense in considering the business, you would greens, &c. adjoining it are premises belongkave seen how improbable it was that a ing to a person of no little consequence, only

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separated with a slight fence. A sow, belong. tice at Bristol, on a charge of having sir wives! ing to this said gentleman, used do trespass op The magistrate asked him how he could be s the poor man's ground, and make greut avoc. karucnod a villain, as to delude so mapg? He inade many complaints to the gentleman, ** Please your worship," says Pet, * 1 seus but to no pnrpose. lle asked advice of the only trying to get at a good one." clergyman of the parish, who is a benevolent

Doctor Johnson at Edinburgh, on his reand jocular man; says he, “ My good fellow, turn from a visit to the Hebrides, was asked by get a spring-gun and set it near the place the Lord Provost, which scene in Scotland te where the sow enters; I'll stand to the consequence.” He wenl home, did so the next Lord! was the Doctor's reply. .

gave preference to? The Road to London, my night—the sow was shot dead. The gentle

Sergeant CockeLL.-At the York assizes map sent for a constable, and took the poor man up for shootiog his sow.

Now,” says

some few years ago, a country-looking youth the clergyman, “I'll get you through this

was arraigned for stcaling fishi

, wbich faet net business if you don't deviate from what I tell being sufficiently proved, he was arquitted, you: at every question that is asked, mind—” and on leaving the bar, from the laughter he * Heas sur" say the sow shot herself." He had previously excited in the court, Mr. Serwas brought up at the quarter-sessions, ex

jeant Cockell' jocularly said, “I suppose by amined, cross-examined, &c. to no purpose : poor fellor, you like a bit of fish as well as the devil a word could be got out him but any body? to which he gave a simpering “ The sow shot berself, sur. He was dis

smile and said, (whilst in the graceful act of charged. “Well," said the judge, “ this is smoothing the locks of hair on his forehead.) the first case of suicide of a sow, that ever

yes, please your worship, but I'm not so

fond of came before me."--The whole court was in

your cockle sauce." Lauglater.

Bon Mots

A General on the point of death, opening
his eyes, and seeing a consultation of three

(FROM MICRO-COSMOGRAPHY, A.D. 1659.) physicians, who were standing close to his HE is venerable in his gown, more in his bed-side, faintly exclaimed, •** Gentlemen, if beard, wherewith he sets not forth so mucha you fire by piatoons, it is all over with me!" his own, as the face of the city. You must and instantly expired.

look on him as one of the town gates, and A Field-Preacher, who had been a printer, consider him not as a body, but a corporatio. observed in his nasal harangue, " that youth His eminency abore others' hath made him i might be compared to a comma, manhood to a man of worship, for he had never been press semicolon, old age to a colon; to which death ferred but that he was worth thousands. He put a period.

oversees the commonwealth as his shop; and A Woman went to complain to a justice of it is an argument of his policy, that he has peace, that her husband had strapped her most thriven by his craft. He is a rigorous magisunscasonably. “ I declare,” said his worship, trate in his ward, yet his scale of justice is sus

the strapping to be null and void : and for pected, lest it be like the balances in his warethe future, let the husband take care that it be house. A ponderous man he is and

sustantial, given in dye time and season."

for his weight is commonly extraordinary, and REPARTEE.-A counsel at the Old Bailey, belly. His head is of no great depth, yet well

in his preferment nothing rises so much as his in cross-examining a witness, asked him among furnished, and when it is in conjunction with other questions, where he was on a particular his brethren, may bring a city apothegem, or day ?” to which he replied, “ he was in conpany with two friends.

• Friends!' ex

some such sage matter. He is one that will

not hastily run into error, for he treads with claimed the counsel, “ two thieves I suppose, great deliberation, and his judgment consists you mean.'

* They may be so," replied the much in his pace. His discourse is commonly witness, for they are both lawyers !"

the annals of his mayoralty, and what good How To GET RID OP a Wipe.- How," said government there was in the days of his gold a man who had lived on very bad terins with chain; though his door-posts irere the only his wife, to a friend who had buried three :

things that suffered reformation, he seems " How my good friend did you act ?-I am most sincerely religious, especially on solemn as sulky as the devil, and yet my wife thrived days, for he comes often to church, and is a by ill-usage.” “ You take the wrong way,” part of the choir hangings. He is the highest replied the other, “I never contradicted them, stair of his profession, and an example to and they died for vexation."

his trade, what in time they may come to. He How to OBTAIN A GOOD WIFE.- An Irish- makes very much of his authority, but more of man was some time ago brought before a jus. bis satin doublet, which though of good years,

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Best sellent descriptions of a sweet creature,” tisod affectation is a more terrible enemy to

and bears lis age very well, and looks fresh erery That no woman is capable of being beautiLuister Sunday; but his scarlet gown is a monument, ful, who is not incapable of being false. * asked and lasts from generation to generation. From these few principles it is easy to prove,

that the true art of heightening beauty, cou

sists in embellishing the whole person, by the THE OLD MAID.

proper ornaments of virtuous and commendI do remember me, in yonder street,

able qualities. An entiquated maideu lives, whose frame

It has been observed, by a French author* Per for The wind might blow thro', while her lantern jaws of the preceding century, that “ the last sighis Divided by an open chasm, appear

of a woman, are not so much for loss of life,

as of beauty." This, in my opinion, is too - 3 0 Like the last tenement of mortal clay.

severc, yet it is founded on a well-known Her sallow skin, like to a parchment roll, axiom, *s that a woman's strongest passion is Godku strivelled up io wrinkles, whilst her eyes for her own beauty, and that she values it as , dhide like a distant lamp at dead of night.

her favorite distinction." Her body, like a mast, erect and tall,

From hence it arises, that all the arts, which Suils stately on, whilst, like a noisy bell,

pretend to improve or preserve beauty, meet heessant rings the clapper of her tongue.

with such a general reception among the fair

sex. There is not a gentlewoman hardly reNo slattern rumples ever discompose

siding in this neighbourhood, that is not furin dhe ne staid appearance of ber sober garb;

nished with some receipt or other, in favor of was had tho' demure her look, and void of pride, her complexion, &c. &c. With A Pet foul detraction, bitter discontent,

Methinks it is a low and degrading idea of E. Wwell in her heart, and issue from her lips.

that sex, which was created to refine the joys, virtue she is blind, but quick of sight

and soften the cares of humanity, lo consider spy the faults of others, not her own.

them merely as objects of sight. How much

more poble, how much more gratifying is the 2015. her bouse is like a vast menagerie;

contemplation of beauty, when heightened by There cats, and dogs, and monkies may be seen; virtne! How much more noble, how much While from their perch the noisy paroquet more gratifying, is real loveliness, innocence, And magpie prate; nor dare her visitors, and unaffected piety, when contrasted with the bo'bit and scratch'd, and much annoy'd by these,

faint and spiritless charms of a coquette. Mieless their griefs, or utter a complaint.

Colours carefully spread on canvass may undle her darlings, and you win her heart;

strike the eye, but not the heart; and she who

adds not to the natural graces of her person despise them, and you make the maid your foe,

any excellent qualities, inay be allowed to he top cruel , deadly, everlasting foe.

AMUSE as a doll, though not to TRIUMPH as a ei taida to' much she talk of charity and love

beauty. best powards all mankiad, yet malice, rancour, hato,

Without this irradiating power, the proudest envy, cold uncharitableness,

fair one ought to know, that whatever her While she her state virginity deplores,

glass may tell her to the contrary, her most it on her brows, and rankłe in her breast.

perfect features are inexpressive.

That these lines may have the effect of calling the attention of the softer sex, not to heighten their beauty by cosmetics, but with

virtuous qualities, is the ardent wish and very Correspondente.

sincere prayer of


Mildenhall, 3d April, 1820.
To the Editor of the Tickler Magazine.
SIR:“As there have appeared some very,

To the Editor of The Tickler Magazine.

SIR:-I read in your number for the preneend an “ odious creature,” in your Magazine, sent month, the wish of a correspondent

I will not deem the following re (W.B.) to learn the real origin of '“ April Skarko on a handsome woman, unworthy of fool's

day;" which certainly is now grown ilansertion in your valuable little work.

childish and absurd, Sir, I have lately met prior to immediately touching upon with an-old work, (a magazine,) which gives, the subject , it will be necessary

to lay down a as I think, a pretty fair account of it; for the preliminary maxims : viz.

benefit of your readers, I have transcribed the That no woman can be handsome by force pos

age, word for word: “ April fool's day is features alone, any more than she can be so ncient and scriptural an origin, that it bitty by helpof speech alone.

is even men. ioned in the book of the prophet That pride destroys all symmetry and grace, 'Ezekiel, csap. 1. th, and 36th verse; we can

* Nonsr. Si. Eyrı mond.

th His

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bae laces than the finall-pos.


Roman Bride on first entering her husband's

+ The Philosopher Thales, of Miletus, held

assure our readers, that they will find that a On seeing Messrs. Macready and Kean in the
subject which has puzzled and confounded Character of Caius Marcius Coriolanus,
the most learned, is here fully explained and Corioli's great foe,--Macready
treated on." I have to apologize for taking
up your time in this manner, and remain Sir,

Finely portrays; the purpose steady, a constant and interested reader,

The haughty bearing of the Roman:-

While Kean appears a very woman, 14, Waterloo-Place, April 3d, 1820.

Seeming to say as brides did, they say,
“ Since M. is Caius I'll be Caia."*



Or, ce qui plait au.r Dames,' as the wiltyd in ON A MISER.

M. De Voltaire expresses it. Here lies one who for medicines would not give “ Married-Mr. W. Love, of Cornhill, to Miss A little gold--and so his life was lost,

E. Love, of Clapham."-(Newspaper.) I fancy now he'd wish again to live,

The more to lead to marriage, there is given
Could be but guess how much his funeral cost.

This solid reason— 'tis ordain'd of Heaten.'- anak
A state thus sanction'd by the powers above,

Seems doubly sacred, when there's Love for Lore.
As Dick and Tom in fierce dispute engage,
And, face to face, the noisy contest wage;

Lines on hearing that Mr. Rose (in narron Ciro - Beral “ Don't cock your chin at me," Dick smartly cries.

cumstances,) had vainly uryed his Duugaletesen * Fear not-his head's not charg'd," a friend to Marriage with Mr. Thorn, a wealthy, out replies.

profligate Man.
Virtue to Vice they fain would bind,

Spite of the fair one's scorn ;-
The following Lines were handed up to a beau-

But fail; and we rejoice to find,
tiful Young Lady who was attending the
Trial of Criminals at the Assizes in Surrey.

A Rose without a THORN.
March 14, 1820.

Whilst petty offences and selonies smart,
Is there no jurisdiction for stealing one's heart?

Lines by Mr. on his Marriage with Nise den te You, fair one, will smile, and cry,

“ Laws, I

Paradise. defy you ;"

It is the good man's wish to be Assured that no peers can be summoned to try you.

Translated to the skies; But think not that paltry defence will secure ye:

So doth he hope to taste, like me,
For the muses and graces will just make a jury.

The joys of Paradise.

As a west-country mayor, with formal address, “ We Radicals have made some noise;
Was making his speech to the haughty Queen

But soon it shall be louder,Bess :

Prepare your Guns and Pistols, Boys! “ The Spaniard," quoth he, “ with inveterate

Hunt will provide the Powder." spleen “ Has presum'd to attack you, a poor virgin queen ;

Occasioned by Nir. Cobbett's Recommendation of " But your majesty's courage has made it appear,

Water-drinking, in a Lecture at the Crown *5 That the don had ta'en the wrong sow by the and inchor Tavern, and the Reception du

Opinions met with

Drink" (Cobbett cries) “ the lucid stream;SELF-CONCEIT.

Wine, like the Snord, makes slaughter." Hail charming power of self-opinion,

Says Wir-“To honour Thales'+ theme,
For none are slaves in thy dominion;

We'll throw on it cold water."
Secure in thee, the mind's at ease,
The vain have only one to please.

Ubi tu Caius ego Caia.–Usual saying of

house. The lawyer's house, if I have rightly read, Is built upon the fool or bad man's head. that water coutained the principles of all things.

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Earth in earth shovell'd up is sbut,

A Hill into a hole is put.

But darksome earth, by power divine,

Bright at last as the sunne may shine."
(A Talion-Chandler of Cork.)

The following Eccentric Epitaph on Sir Bap-
Here is Ned Stockdale, honest fellow,

tist Hicks, (originally a Mercer in CheapWho dy'd by fat, and liv'd by tallow;

side,) is recorded in Styrpes' Edition Stowe's His light before men always shone,

Surrey of London, vol. i. p.288.
His mold is underneath this stone:

Reader know,
Then taking things by the right handle,

Whoe'er thou bo,
Doma's. Is not this life a farthing candle ?

Here lies Faith, Hopo, tarasThe longest age, but a watch taper,

And Charitie:

Faith true,
A torch blown out by ev'ry vapour;

Hope firm,
To-day 'twill burn, to-morrow blink,

Charity free;
And end as mortals in a stink:-

Baptist, Lord Campdon,
If this be true, then worthy Ned

Was these three,
Is a wax-light among the dead;

Faith in God,
His futed form still sheds perfume,

Charity to his Brother,
And scatters lustre round his tomb:

Hope for himself:
Then what is mortal life? Why, tush,

What ought he other !
This mortal life's not worth a rush.

Faith is no more,
Charity is crown'd,

'Tis only Hope

Is under ground.
John Spellmans like will ne'er be found,
He died for all the country round,

Yet hear with patience if you can,

The following neat and appropriate Epitaph,
The base ingratitude of man.

written for the purpose, by the above gerWhen death approach'd with aspect grim tleman, who was equally distinguished in Not one of them would die for him,

the fashionable, literary, and political cirSo leaving all his worldly pelf

cles, appears on an elegant sarcophagus, Poor John at last died for himself.

lately erected to his memory, in the church

yard, of Sunninghill, Berks:

Whose turn is next? This monitory stone

Replies, Vain Passenger, perhaps thine ova!
Sleep soft in dust wait the

II, idly curious, you should seek to know
Almigbty's will,

Whose relics mingle with the dust below,
Then rise unchang'd, and be

Enough to tell thee, that his destin'd span
An Angel still,

On earth he dwelt, and like thyself, a man;

Not distant far th’ inevitable day Against the Wall of the North aisle of Bed. When thou, poor mortal, shalt like him be clay. dington Church, Surrey, is a Tablet in a

Through life he walk'd, unemulous of fame,
wooden Frame, with the following Epitaph.

Nor wish'd beyond it to preserve a name.
* More super virides montes."
THOMAS Greenhill, borne and bredd in the Content, if friendship, o'er bis bumble bier,
famous University of Oxon, Batchelor of Artes, Drop but the heartfelt tribute of a tear;
sometymes student in the Magdelen Coll

. Though countless ages should unconscious glide,
steward to the noble Knight Sir Nicholas Nor learn that he had ever lived or died,
Carew, of Beddington, who deceased Sep. 17,
day anno 1624. "William Greenhill, Master

of Artes, his brother, and Mary, his sister,
trected this:

Here lies, fast asleep, awake me who can,
Under thy feet interr'd is heare,

That medley of passions and follies, a man:
A native borne in Oxfordshire;

Who sometimes loved license and sometimes re

First life and learning Oxford gare,

Too much of the sinner, too little of saint,
Secures to him his death and grave.

From quarter to quarter I shifted my tack,
He once a hill, was fresh and greene,
Now wither'd is not to be seeno ;

'Gainst the evils of life, a most notable quack;


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