shire, to the memory of Thomas Harper, who Time, which had silver'd long my hoary head, ON SIR PHILLIP SIDNEY. England hath his body; for she it fed The Arts have his fame, The Soldier his grief, The World his good name. STOKE FLEMING CHURCH, DEVON. To the Memory of Margaret Southcotte, who died 9 months. Beneath this stone, in sweet repose, The friend of all, a fair one lies; Yet hence let Sorrow vent her woes, Far hence let Pity pour her sighs; Tho' every hour thy life approv'd, The muse the strain of grief forbears; Nor wishes, tho' by all belov'd, To call thee to a world of cares. Best of thy sex, alas! farewell, From this dark scene remov'd to shine Where purest shades of mortals dwell, And virtue waits to welcome thine, Gleanings. HOW TO ENJOY A MERRY CHRISTMAS.---Sir John Ramsea, in his "Christmas Caution," observes, that, the weather is unusually cold at this season, and, therefore, good fires, good eating, and good drinking, are unquestionably agreeable, and in some measure neces sary. Fuel is laid in for externa warmth, and fattening generous liquors for internal. The ox s for slaughter, the poultry are put up to feed, the mutton and the venison are already hung, and minced ineats are in a state of preparation. All this is very right; all this is very good. The blessing brought by the season to the Christian world, might well render it a time for perpetual rejoicing, a time of universal happiness. But instead of loading our tables and our stomachs, with an unwholesome variety of the richest viands, let us be convent with plain and nourishing food, and with a quantity proportioned to our digestive faculties; and let us consider, while we are cheerfully and comfortably regaling by a good fire, allured by superfiuities to excess, whether we have not some poor, but worthy neighbours, who are exposed, half fed, and perhaps, half naked too to all the inclemency of the weather, while their miserable little ones are shivering around a few embers, destitute even of the necessaries of life. By our retrenchments then let them be clothed, be comforted, and fed; and while their stomachs become the repositories of what would only tend to disorder our own, their grateful lips, too often very differently employed, will bless, at once, the season, and their benefactors. We shall inculcate in our offspring the virtues of Christian charity and benevolence, instead of the heathenish vices of intemperance and excess and we shall thus secure to ourselves the An ill-natured critic wrote the following under health, as well as the approbation of our own these beautiful lines: Can a Southcotte be said to deserve all the praise bosoms, and, be at once qualified and entitled to enjoy a MERRY CHRISTMAS. PEARL DIVERS.-They (the Ceylon pearl divers.) will often make forty and fisty plunges in one day; and at each plunge bring up about one hundred oysters, &c. Althoughthe usual time of remaining under water does not much exceed two minutes, yet instances are known IN A CHURCH YARD, NEAR NEWARK. of divers who could remain four, and even From earth my body first arose, I ne'er desire to have it more, To tease me as it did before. ON A RUM AND MILK DRINKER. Rom and milk I had in store, Till my poor belly could hold no more; My death was owing unto that. five minutes, which was the case with a Caffre boy, the last year I visited the fishery. The longest instance ever known was that of a diver, who came from Anjango, in 1797, and who remained under water full six minutes.(Percival's Account of Ceylon.) GROVE, the Presbyterian, published, in 1729 a funeral sermon on the Fear of Death. Th subject was treated in 80 masterly a manne that a person of considerable rank in the learr ed world declared, that, after reading it, h could have laid down and died, with as mu readiness and satisfaction, as he had ever don any thing in his life.-(Biog. Dic. Art. Grove.) The sermon must have been a good one to have wrought such a persuasion: but how the persuasion would have kept its ground, had the person been taken at his word, and ordered to prepare for in-tant death, is another question. NATIONS UNACQUAINTED WITH THE USE OF FIRE. The inhabitants of the Martin Islands, which were discovered in 1522, had no ideas of fire. Never was astonishment greater than theirs when they saw it, on the descent of Magellan on one of their islands. At first they believed it to be a kind of animal, that fixed itself to, and fed upon, wood! Some of them who approached too near being burnt, the rest were terrified, and durst only look upon it at. a distance. They were afraid, they said, of being bit, or lest that dreadful animal should wound them with his violent re piration; for these were the first notions they formed of heat and flame. The inhabitants of the Phillippine and Canary Islands were formerly as ignorant as those I have been speaking of. They assure us that in the Isle Los Jordenas, the use of fire wa lately unknown. They say the same of several nations in America, particularly of the Amikouans, a people of South America, discovered but a little while (Origin of Laws, Arts, and Sciences, &c. by Goguet, Vol. I. p. 73. ago. It is said, that the earliest law enacted in any country, for the promotion of anatomical nowledge, was one that passed in 1540. It allowed the unite.. companies of Barbers and Surgeons to have yearly the bodies of four riminals to dissect.—(Barrington on Stautes.) Which all the ladies would approve,- Of winning and of keeping hearts; Dear Doctor, if you grant our wishes, We promise you five hundred kisses, And rather than this affair be blundered, We'll give you six score to the hundred, Signed by 300 pretty ladies of Edinbro. Humour. A PETITION FROM THE LADIES OF EDINBURGH. TO DR. MOYES.-A Fact. Dear Doctor let it not transpire, Hymn. TO THE EVENING STAR. Arise, arise, thou Queen of Love! O let me see thy orient breast, Thy amber halo o'er the hill; And all the chambers of the west Thy coronal with glory fill, O come! the evening colours fade; Soft silence broods o'er land and sea; And beauty, in the greenwood shade, Uplifts a longing eye for thee. Thy temple be this sylvan bower,' Be that thy favoured holiest shrine; O come and hover o'er my head, Or where my careless arm was flung. Then softly heave on angel's wing, The softest love-sick melody. Aad here upon thy dearest shrine, Here will I worship with delight, And pay the vows I made to thee, Entil thy mild and modest light Miscellanies. Striking Observation of the late Lord Chatham on Libellous Publications, —No Minister was ever mo, e virulently attacked that the late Lord Chatham had been; but on being urged to prosecute the libellers, he replied only with a simile, that the press was like the air, "ac chartered libertine. At a late TRADESMEN V. NOBILITY. meeting in the North, a noble Lord and his adherents ventured to speak disrespectfully of several distinguished individuals, of opposite principles, because either they or their forefathers had been concerned in trade! The unwarranted aspersion excited the just indignation of a neighbouring journalist, and called forth from him a spirited article, wherein he asserted that the origin of many of the most illustrious characters could be traced to tradesmen and mechanics. To prove this, he next week submitted the following list to his readers. It ought to make the revilers of tradesmen blush:-Cowley, the son of a grocer.-Howard, an apprentice to one-Akenside, the son of a butcher. Collins, the son of a hatter.-Cromwell, the son of a brewer.-kitbread, a brewer.Franklin, a journeyman printer.-Richardson, a printer.- Bloomfield and Giffard, originally shoe-makers.—Euripides, son of a green-grocer.-Plautus, a baker.-Virgil, sou of a potter, or pedlar, afterwards farmer. Boccaccio, a natural son of a merchaut. ~~ Columbus, són of a weaver, and (from an originally a weaver himself. Rabelais, son N.B. I wish you not to misunderstand me-this is intended as no sham. We well know there are men of worth and probity who remain unmarried in consequence of their limited acquaintance. Farrative. STORY OF MRS. E [We are indebted, for the following brief but striking narrative, to Lieut. Chappell's Voyage to Newfoundland, recently published. The first observation we make on it, is that the great it repeals, in energetic accents. injunction, “Never to despair.” Fo call upon the mass of those who call themselves unjortunate, to contrast the whole sum of their misfortunes and their sufferings with those of the hapless female, a single passage in whose life is here placed before them, would be no more than a piece of mere commonplace morality, and this, therefore, we shall omit. Our Readers will, however, permit us to suggest the degree of resemblance (notwithstanding the wide difference of scene and other circumstances) of this true story of Mrs. E, to Milton's beautiful creation of the Lady in Comus; and, since we have got so far as a "Masque," may we add a recommendation of this narrative as the basis of a work of fiction. In the hands of a writer acquainted with the Country to which it refers, it might be rendered exceedingly acceptable for the closet: but, if it were prepared for the stage, what a favourable opportunity for displaying, at the English Opera House, the more extimable characteristics of the Norik American Indians! Were we dramatists, we ask Mr. Pinson's pardon, (we think) we would employ Mrs. E- in closing her benefacior's eyes, and then effect her return to Quebec through the instrumentality of the Indians, whose friendship and good qualities should also manifest themselves in early parts of the fable.] We were much surprized, on visiting our good friend, Mr. Pinson, to find a handsome female seated at the head of his table. The sight of a white woman was now a real gratification to us all; and our of officers were anxiously desir us to discover by what mea as she had been thrown upon the savage territory of Labrador. As the story of this Lady's misfortunes reflected additional credit on the hilanthropic character of the worthy merchant, and gave us a faint notion of the inclemency of a Newfoundland winter, perhaps the insertion of it, in this place, will not be deemed reprehensible by the Reader. The daughter of a respectable Canadian had married early in life to a Mr. Ethe master of an English Quebec trading vessel. In the beginning of December, 1812, the ship of her husband quitted the country in which she was born, on its return with a cargo to Europe; but during its voyage thither, it was wrecked near Bonne Bay, in the island of Newfoundland. The night was dreadfully tempestuous; and with great danger and difficulty, Mrs. Ereached the shore, in an open boat, scarcely capable of containing four persons. At length, however, the whole of the crew was safely landed; and immediately collected whatever could be saved from the floating wreck, and placed the articles under a sailcloth tent. The winter had now set in with such rigour, that it was totally impossible to travel far in search of fishing settlements.Under these afflicting circumstances, it was resolved to erect a hut for the officers, and another for the crew; by which means they hoped to secure themselves against the piercing cold of the climate. It was in this iniserable state that the youthful and delicate Mrs. E ingered through a long and dismal winter, upon a rocky coast blocked up with an ocean of frozen fragments; and surrounded, on the land side, by snowy mountains and icy valleys. Both the lady and her companions were compelled to cut off their hair entirely; which was so strung painful and troublesome. To add to the with icicles, that it became exceedingly sufferings of this unfortunate lady, she found herself pregnant. The crew mutinied; swearing, with dreadful imprecations, that they would take away the life of her husband, because he had prudently refused them an immoderate share of the brandy that had been saved from the wreck; and the barbarous wretches even threw fire-brands into the hut where she lay, although their whole walls! stock of gunpowder was stored within its At length, the much wished-far instead of comfort, it brought additional season of spring made its appearance; but misery to the amiable and lovely Mrs. E. Hitherto the affectionate attentions of her fond husband had been the solace and support of her life: but in the attempt to land a few casks of salted beef from the remains of the wreck, the boat overse', and he was drowned! Left thus destitute and friendless, among a gang of desperate miscreants, she had still courage to resist their brutal attempts upon her virtue: and, as the summer advanced, she followed them barefooted through the woods, until they reached the fishing settlements in Bonne Bay. with food or necessaries; and was, thereShe was here but badly provided vessel bound for Forteau, where she hoped fore, easily prevailed on to go in a small arrival at Forteau, she took up her abode to procure a passage for Quebec. On her at the house of a Guernsey fishermanMisfortune still attended her footsteps; and she was compelled to leave the house of this monster, to avoid his odious solicitations. At this moment, Mr. Pinson generoasly offered her that asylum, which her hardships, her sufferings, and, above all, her pregtunity, the good merchant procured her a nancy, demanded. By the earliest opporpassage back to her parents; he also defrayed supplied her plentifully with necessaries for the passage-money from his own purse, and the voyage. We afterwards heard that Mrs. Ereached Quebec in safety; and shortly after gave birth to a male inf nt, who still lives to comfort her for the loss of her ill-fated husband, and, it is to be hoped, will prove hereafter the noblest recompence for all her sufferings. Puns. SHAKESPEARE. The comprehensive Shakespeare tells us, that "All the world's a stage.' Every reader will join us in saying, that the Poct's position is but the converse of another, and an equal truism:— His stage is all the world. From the propensity of punning, his plays prove that Shakespeare was by no means free; the following instance is related in a collection of anecdotes preserved with the Harleiau manuscripts, and entitled Merry Passages and Jests. William Shakespeare being at a certain time on terms of famil arity and friendship with Ben Jonson, before the latter had become jealous and envious of his rising merits, stood godfather to a child of Ben's, who demanded of him in a pleasant way what gift he would bestow, as the custom was.— "I have just been thinking," replied the Warwickshire bard, "and am determined to give the boy a dozen latten spoons, and thou shalt translate them." SWIFT Sometimes succeeded in this species of illegitimate wit, and on hearing the following impromptu, said he would have given a guinea (in his opinion, and at the latter part of his life a great sum) to have been the author of it. A friend of the Dean's, at that period well known and respected in the church, was caught in a heavy shower, rode full speed and dripping wet into an inn-yard, where he quickly dismounted, and having a strong voice, called lustily about him. He soon found his way to a large kitchen fire, and to a waiter who advanced towards him with a low bow, he exclaimed "Pull, pall" at the same time extending his arm, for the purpose of having his great coat taken off the waiter drawing back, immediately replied," No, Sir, you must excuse me; I cannot think of flying in the face of an express act of Parliament. It is felony to strip an Ash."-that being the clergyman's name, who was himself a notorious punster, and so delighted with what could not have been premeditated, that he directly gave the utterer of it a guinea. A punning ongratulation, recorded by "See this little mistress here, Nor did dispense with sins for gold, And yet she is a Pope, No King her feet did ever kiss, Or had from her worse look than this; A female Pope, you say, a second Joan, On seeing the Lady of Sir JoHN DAY, and her relation Miss ORCHARD, pass through Birmingham, in the severe Winter of 1313, for Loudon : Waite nipping frosts, with deadly bite, An Orchard in full bloom! And what is passing strange beside, Satire. TO SOME SHEEP AT PASTURE IN LIN. COLN'S INN SQUARE. Humbly inscribed to those learned Counsel Messrs. Wether-ell, Rams-botham, Shepherd, Lamb, Horne, Legge, Mere-wether, and Serjeant Pell. Poor things! unconscious of your woes, Whose trade it is to fleece. Ah! little think ye, while their grass And soon ye will be bare. Let winter's wet, or winter's frost, Or drench or bite you sore; Thence without woolly covering lost Depart ye never more. Nor that the worst-for as ye pick Each blade with bleating moans, The wolves around you surely lick Their lips to pick your bones. For every shoot their shaven lawn Affords, the ravenous gluttons Foredoom your backs for hose to paws, For dinners all your muttons. Frisk as ye may, struggle as ye will, Be obstinate or pliant; They'll shear ye first, and then they'll kill, As if each were a client. The butcher dread. in short-skirt coat, He digs with murderous might; |