Page images
[merged small][ocr errors][merged small]

dread want, when we have but a short remainder of the punishment was, that, time to be miserable. I am satisfied with when placed on the stool, she should be what nature has done for me; nor do I plunged into the water, 4 Blackstone's require a fortune. I do not seek in men Conmentaries, p. 169, It was also terwhat they have of evil, that I may cen med eaginstole and cokestole, and by sure; I only find out what they have ri some thought corrupted from chocking diculous, that I may be amused. I feel stool. In Domesday Book it is called a pleasure in detecting their follies; 1 cathedra stercoralis, and was used by the should feel a greater in communicating Saxons for the same purpose, and by my discoveries, did not my prudence re

them also called scealfing stole. It seems strain me; life is too short, according to that this punishment was not confined to my ideas, to read all kinds of books, and prostitutes and common scolds, but was to load our memory with an infinite num- anciently inflicted on brewers and bakers ber of things at the cost of our judgment. transgressing the laws, who were imI do not attach myself to the sentiments mersed over head and ears in stercore, of scientific men to acquire science; but in stinking water. In the reign of Queen to the most rational, that I may strength- Anne, during the chief justiceship of Sir en my reason. Sometimes I seek for the John Holt, a woman, named Foxbý, more delicate minds, that my taste may

was convicted upon an indictment, at imbibe their delicacy; sometimes for the the Maidstone Quarter Sessions, for being gayer, that I may enrich my genius with a common scold. She prayed an arrest their gaiety: and, although I constantly of judgment, as the indictment was, read, I make it less my occupation than

that she was communis caluminiutrir, my pleasure. In religion and in friend- which is not the latin for scold, but ship, I have only to paint myself such as riratrix ; and upon this exception, judgI am-in friendship, more tender than a

ment was arrested till next Term. Sir a philosopher: and in religion, as con

John Holt then enlarged the time to see stant, and as sincere as a youth who has

how she would behave herself in the inmore simplicity than experience. My terim, for he said, ducking would rather piety is composed more of justice and

harden than cure, and if she was once charity, than of penitence. "I rest my ducked, she would scold all the days of confidence in God, and hope every thing her life. The case was brought before from His benevolence.--In the bosom of his Lordship the following term, when Providence, I find my repose and my fe- he allowed the error, and judgment was licity.

.. At Bunbury in Oxfordshire, this pu-
nishment was used towards prostitutes

within the memory of persons living in Correspondence. 1793, and the pool used for that purpose

still retains the name of the cucking pool; but the engine was removed some

little time before that period. CASTIGATORY FOR SCOLDS.

Mr. Morgan, a former editor of Jacob's To the Editor of the Tickler Magazine. Dictionary, said he remembered seeing Sir,

the remains of one of these instruments

of correction on the estate of a relation Perhaps you will not deem the

of his in Warwickshire, and describes it following observations, upon a curious ancient custom, gleaned from the highest fixed firm on the margin of a pool, and

as a long beam acting on

a fulcrund, authorities, unworthy of a place in your at the end of the beam, immediately interesting Miscellany.

over the centre of the pool, was the A woman, indicted for being a com chair, in which sat the patient. mon scold, (commuseis riratrix, for the Butler, speaking of these ceremonies, law. latin confines it to the feminine says,

-As ovation was allow'd gender) was sentenced to be placed on a certain engine of correction, called the For conquest, purchas’d without blood; tre buchet, tumbrel, tymborella, castiga. For vict'ry gotten without blows; tory, or cucking slool, though frequently By dint of sharp, hard words, which some corrupted into ducking stool, because the Give battle with, and overcome.


[merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

These mounted in a chair curule,

Which moderns call a cucking-stool,
March proudly to the river's side,

Can the “ Emerald Isle" ne'er be quiet,
And o'er the waves in triumph ride;

Has Fate made disturbance her portion ? Like Dukes of Venice, who are said

For now that her sons cease to riot,
The Adriatic sea to wed;

Her bogs make intestine commotion.
And have a gentler wife than those,
For whom the state decrees these shows.
To our own honor, and to the honor

of our fair friends, this custom has wholly So anxious, Erin seems to hail her King,
disappeared, and nothing remains of it And to the royal guest due honour bring,
but what ought, the remembrance. That town and country are prepar'd to greet
Thanks to heaven, there are but few wo-

him; men to be found now-a-days, who have Nay, e'en the very Bogs have mov'd to meet

bim. not a much greater command than formerly, over those members, though still sometimes unruly,—their tongues. I am sorry to add, that I must make one ex

Epitaphs. ception to the last observation, i.e. as to those ladies within the precincts of Billingsgate. I am, Sir, Yours, &c.


N. J.

Stranger approach with silent awe, for kaow
A scepter'd warrior's relics rest below;
Whose bold ambition, and success in arms,

Once fill'd astonish'd Europe with alarms.

Now mark the issue of o'er-weeping pride,
When reason, wisdom, justice cease to guide:
Unsatisfied with all he had acquir'd,
The thirst of conquest, still his bosom fir'd ;

The throne of France seem'd but a petty thing,
IT is reported as a fact, that they intend, To the Imperial Eagle on the wing;
on the arrival of his MAJESTY, to draw On Russia's diadem he cast his eyes,
his carriage with silken ropes, that are And straight resolv'd to seize the glitt'ring
to run in an uninterrupted line from prize;
Dublin Castle to Dunleary, a distance But Fate, the proud Adventurer's purpose

cross'd, of seven Irish miles.

A gallant army in the attempt was lost;
[Morning Paper. The tide of fortune turn'd-disasters new

The disappointed Hero's steps pursue,

And his last ray of glory set at Waterloo !

Peace to his manes l_ may he mercy find,
What! silken traces, seven miles long!
To draw the King, you say;

Although he had but little for mankind.
And will they not be seven-league boots,

Postillions wear that day?
The truth, indeed, I do not doubt; ON ONE THOMAS WILL, A TAILOR.

But this full well I know,
That you're most fit to draw such ropes,

[Recently found at BARNSTAPLE, amongst Who draw so long a bow.

the Poet Gar's MSS. (though not supa
posed to be written by him); for an

account of which, see the publication, ON THE LATE CONTEST FOR

called Gay's Chair.”] SHERIFFS.

Here lies the worst of tailors, best of sots,

All left of him anrotten, now here rots ; In the contest for Sheriffs, it some may His carcase, like an empty ale cask, stunk; surprise,

On drink he liv'd, and drinking, died dead That friend Crook should have made such

drunk; a stop;

A man of feeling, -tears, that feeling show, But all wonder must cease, as if custom Stood in his eyes, and oft would overflow: applies,

Some say his tears were drink, but that The GARRET will always be found at the vain, top!

Had they been so, be'd drank them o'er agaia.

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors]
[merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors]


[merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors]

His throat, just like his tkimble, had no Feet. So far we acted like sworn

bottom; His hell long gap'd for him, at last it got I was put in the stocks for the bottle of

brothers. I hope you don't forget that him, Amidst old rags, old quids, and broken pipes,

brandy you

stole. (The stench enough to give e'en pigs the

Hands. That bottle was for our thront gripes.)

our common friend.
Sleeveless he lies; all measure-less and mute,
Till Fate shall fit him with a bran new suit,

Feet. I am afraid our poor throat will
When the last trumpet's sound shall wake pay for all at last.
us all,

Hands. Away with your predictions !
And summon tailors to their house of call; You say you like to look forward ; you
THOMAS, so long athirst, so long kept dry, should sometimes look behind you.
Will linger still in dust, nor upward ily; Feet. No, I leave that to my heels.
But let the angel bring a pot of beer,
Thomas will lift his head, and cry—“ I'm

Hands. In all our transactions, I here!

never betrayed you. Then shall this tailor, at his second birth,

Feet. Do you mean to say that I be-
Like a large cabbage, raise himself from trayed you?

Hands. Remember the great snow.
And so much cabbage his own hell supplies,
Mounted thereon, he'll quickly reach the

Feet. True; I was traced, and we skies!

were caught-Did'nt I assist you, however, to scale the wall ?

Hands. You did -and to swim the Humour,


Feet, Yes --and to climb the tree.

Hands. Don't talk of trees --- trees DIALOGUE BETWEEN HANDS have been fatal to gentlemen of our AND FEET.

profession. Hands.

Feet. And will be so, I fear. Since NOW, cousin Feet, as we have lived so

you have touched on old sores, it has any years in amity, what do

not escaped your memory, I believe, that

you think if we were to converse a little together, of life, you signed a warrant of attorney,


you entered into your present line on our past conduct?

Feet. I hate to think of what is past by which you got us all, back, belly, and I hate to talk of what is past ;--- bones, into a stone doublet. always like to look forward.

Hands. It was in that very stone Hands. So far you are a philosopher.

doublet I learned all my tricks. Feet. Yes, I'm descended from a ce

Feet. I wish you could unlearn them, lebrated sect; the Peripatetics were all

but that I see is impossible ; let me adpedestrians.

vise you now, in future, to avoid all Hunds. But a little conversation can

attorneys, and warrants of attorney; do us no harm.

and if ever you are called upon to put Feet. Proceed.


mark to any bond, bill, or note, let Hands. You recollect that I once stole

it appear on the left side; though it may a pair of shoes for you.

not be so honourable a post as on the Feet. What then?

right, yet you'll find it a less dangerous Hands. You walked off with them.

Hands. True, but I am surprised you Feet. Or rather, ran off; for, if I had


to give advice to your not, you would have been caught in

betters! maner, as the lawyers say.

Feet. Betters! I am descended, Mr. Hands. But you never stole a pair of gloves for me.

Hands, from the antient family of the Feet. But I was fettered for the gloves Legs: you are, it is true, descended from

the proud family of the Arms: both you stole for yourself.

have bled in the cause of their country, Hands. And I was handcuffed for the shoes I stole for you.

and when yours could no longer sustain

the fight, mine have borne them off the Feet. Didn't I kick the fellow that

tented field in safety. I know the handcuffed you? Hands. 'And did'nt I cuff the fellow Spindleshanks claim kindred as a branch

of my ancestors, and they are a disgrace that fettered you?



[merged small][merged small][ocr errors]

to it; we are proud, however, to ac A DEAR SHAVE.--Among the many knowledge our obligations to Mr. Deputy humourous stories told of the happy art Oak, a sound race, the pride of Old of the late Mr. Sheridan possessed in England, and the glory of Chelsea getting rid of a troublesome creditor, of, College.

in the language of St. James's, “ BilkHands. Come, Come, our ancestors ing a Dun;" whatever such stories disare equally illustrious. But in point of play in delicacy of execution, we believe education-I can write.

few shew more originality of invention, Feet. And I can leave my mark. than one told of the mother of a late unHasn't forgery brought many a man to successful candidate for the representathe gallows?

tion of a Northern county. The lady in Hunds. And hasn't one false step question resided most of the year at the often done the same!-A truce, a truce! country mansion of her lord, who was a -let us forget all that is past-let us act great agriculturist; and, as agriculturists in concert in future.

in those days were occasionally troubled Feet. With all my heart: I'll engage with an epidemic now raging, vulgarly that you'll never attempt to put any plan denominated want of cash, the noble into execution that you won't find me mansion was every morning haunted at the bottom of it: if you have a horse, with some tradesmen, whose attendance arm my heels, and you'll outstrip the could have been dispensed with. Among wind; or if you trust to me, you'll find others, a cooper, who was alike distinthat I'll leave your pursuers far behind.

guished by the importunity of his de
mands and the blackness of his beard,

one morning happened to escape the FALSE ALARM.---A family of respec- porter, and find his way into the library, tability at Kingsland, was lately thrown where the lady of the mansion had just into the utmost consternation, by an

finished puffing a little hair-powder over alarm of thieves besetting the house. the hoary honours of her lord. The unThe master instantly called his servant,

welcome tub-hooper presented his grubby and enquired if he had well loaded the visage, but the lady, like a true daughter blunderbuss; and upon his affirmatively of Eve, could not be put out." " Are answering the interrogatory, John was you not ashamed (says she) to come here desired to bring it up instantly into the

with such a beard ?" The cooper

made front drawing room. The gentleman,

some excuse about bad razors." Well previous to discharging it, called out, in sit down, then," returned the lady; as deep and awful a tone as the organs

« here is an excellent case; I always of speech enabled him, “ who's there;" shave Sir John, and shall shave you too, when an old woman, who was climbing before you go out of this house." The (or trying thereat) the front railing, cooper was in amazement---the scarlet seeing his terrified countenance, (Luna blushes of surprize shone through his sunsmiling most effulgently on the af- burnt face; he would have refused the frighted parties) and at the same time proffered honour, but all in vain; her beholding the well-directed blunderbuss, ladyship 'would take no denial. Tubs

, cried with all her might, and the utmost was placed in a chair intended for & pathos ,-“Oh! Sir—Sir- pray don't nobler burden, a milk-white napkin shoot; it's only MARTIA, the Washers spread over his bosom, and the latherwoman.” The fact was, that the vene brush of the worthy Baronet condemned rable soap-destroyer was anxious to get to scrub over his bristly snout. The ope. to the inner door, before she warned the ration over, (we shall not say how) the family of her approach; and finding the half-petrified cooper was released from outer door or gate well secured, she was “ durance vile," and her ladyship, maclimbing over the railing, when a shrewd king him a low curtesy, said, " Now

, neighbour was passing, who concluding Mr. Cooper, you have a bill against Sir it must be a thief, from the peculiar mode

John for 18. Gd.; I never shave under of trying to obtain entrance, pulled the one guinea; so if you will just pay the bell inost violently, and at the same mo

half crown in balance we shall be quits." ment lustily cried out " Thievey. The story got wind, and the cooper hoopThieves !"

ed all the tubs for the good women in
the neighbourhood which were in de wonin

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

dr. She lived in misery

---doing and indeed, it was at times whispered sical reader will, in fact, find in Valerius by the gude inen, that the tubs were left a very lively description of the state of

Rome, when the Monarchy was in its out in the sun by the wives, to afford a

glory, and an interesting account of the pretence to call the cooper, and hear a

domestic manners of the Roman citizens. 3 second edition of his story. The avari

The arrival of Valerius in the capital of 2 cious dog was certainly amply indemniCF fied for his “dear shave,” by the extraor the world, is picturesque and impressive;

dinary notoriety into which it brought but it is impossible to particularize the reciendo him; but it was observed ever after, that parts of a work which lays equal claims 32 when any thing was said about“ taking to erudition and original fancy. The

off beards,” he was in use to stroke his following extract contains a spirited terus chin between his finger and his thumb, description of Gladiators at the Flavian

le and shake his head in the way people Amphitheatre:adau will do when they meet one that has left “ Their masters paired them shortly, them a bill to pay.

and in succession they began to make proof of their fatal skill. At first, Scy

ihian was matched against Scythian-Jmpromptus.

Greek against Greek---Ethiopian against Ethiopian---Spaniard against Spaniard; and I saw the sand dyed beneath their

feet with blood streaming from the THE QUEEN'S CORONATION. wounds of kindred hands. But these “ Crown me, I claim my right," the good

combats, although abundantly bloody QUEEN cried,

and terrible, were regarded only as preEFORE Man heard, and own'd the right, but yet ludes to the serious business of the day, denied ;

which consisted of duels between EuroHeav'n heard it too, and sent an Angel

peans on the one side, and Africans on down, 1 Who plac'd upon her head a Heavenly

The other; wherein it was the well-nigh Crown.

intransgressablelaw ofthe Amphitheatre, Finis CORONAT.

that at least one out of every pair of combatants should die in the arena before

the eyes of the multitude. Instead of I DESIRE TO BE BURIED IN

shrinking from the more desperate bru

talities of these latter conflicts, the almost BRUNSWICK,

certainty of their fatal termination, see

med only to make the assembly gaze “ Viveo miseravelmente, e assi morreo." upon them with more intense curiosity, EPITAPI ON THE TOMB OF CAMOENS. and a more inhuman measure of delight.

Methinks I feel as if it were but of yesFoul Persecution's prey_betrayed, belied,

terday, when-sickened with the pround so she died :

tracted terrors of a conflict, that seemed But, like the Hero of the elder time, as if it were never to have an end, Her spirit spoke, and thus abjured our clime: although both the combatants were * 'The tears and sighs, the broken-hearted already covered all over with hideous

Be thine, – but not, oh! cruel lanı, my

gashes-I at last bowed down my head, bones!"

and clasped my hands upon my eyes, to save them from the torture of gazing thereon further; and I had scarcely done

so, when Rubellia laid her hand upon Literature.

my elbow, whispering, 'Look, look, now look,' in a voice of low steady impatience.

I did look, but not to the arena: no; it VALERIUS.

was upon the beautiful features of that

woman's face that I looked, and. truly WE do not often look into Novels, but it seemed to nie as if they presented å the antiquity of the name of this one, spectacle almost as fearful as that from and the moito, induced us to dipinto its which I had just averted mine eyes. I pages, and to forego, for a time, our saw those rich lips parted asunder, and wonted philosophical studies. The clas Those dark eyes extended in their sockets,

[ocr errors]


« PreviousContinue »