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No. 4. Vol. III.]
LONDON, APRIL 1, 1821.
THE late Bishop Watson, shortly after his retirement, took lodgings in Cambridge, at an house adjoining an ale
house, the sign of which was Bishop THE late Mr. Garrick used to tell the Blaisse ; he was induced to compromise following story :-He was walking in with the 'landlord to take it down, as London, in company with Weston, the thinking it derogatory to the episcopal celebrated low Comedian ; they passed dignity, which occasioned the following two young chimney-sweepers with the epigram from Dr. Mansel, now Bishop soot-bags on their shoulders. One of of Bristol: them recognized the two Actors, and
“ Two of a trade can ne'er agree,” with an arch sneer, said---" I say Bill
No proverb e'er was juster; Playermen." “ Don't insult 'em Jack, They've pulled down Bishop Blaise d'ye (said the other) thee dost not know what
see, thou may'st come to!!"
And put up Bishop Bluster.
WHEN the French Jury withdrew to
THE EARL OF ROCHESTER.---This deliberate on their verdict in the affair nobleman, whose brilliant wit and talents of M. de Lavalette, he retired from the
rendered him so distinguished in the Court into the prison of the Conciergerie. Court of Charles II. and who, during a His friend and relation M. Tascher, ne temporary disgrace with his sovereign, phew to the Ex-empress Josephine, made himself a mighty favourite with never quitted him. During this mo
the lower orders, by his exhibitions mentous interval, the prisoner preserved under the mask of an Italian mountethe attitude of calmness he had main- bank on Tower-hill, felt so much diffitained during the whole of the trial. He dence in the House of Lords, that he played two games at chess with M. Tascher,
never was able to address them. It is and gained them both.
said, that having frequently attended, he once essayed to make a speech, but
was so embarrassed that he was unable ANECDOTE of King James I.---When to proceed. “ My Lords,” said he, “ I this monarch was on his route from rise this time---my Lords, I divide my Scotland to ascend the Throne of Eng- discourse into four branches.” Here he land, he passed a day and a night at
faultered for some time; at length he Lumley Castle, the seat of the Earl of was able to add, “ My Lords, if ever I Scarborough; in the course of the evening rise again in this House, I give you leave his Lordship mentioned his very ancient to cut me off root and branch for ever." genealogy, and dwelt so long on his an
He then sat down. cestry, that the King finding the subject un peu ennyant, with his wonted dry sarcastic manner, stopped his Lordship A CELEBRATED PREACHER.--short by saying, “ My Lord, dinna go The Rev. Dr. is what is commonly any further, for I dinna ken before that denominated “ a celebrated preacher.” Adam's surname was Lumley."
His reputation, however, has not been
acquired by his drawing largely upon his “ Bless me, coachee, (replied the thing own stores of knowledge and eloquence, with apparent surprise) I thought I was but with the skill with which he appro- directing John, my own coachman : it is priates the thoughts and language of so seldom I ride in a hack." A desire to the great divines who have gone before display a consequence before a low-bred him. Fortunately for him, those who man, who can neither know nor care any compose a fashionable audience are not thing about you, indicates a mind of very deeply read in the pulpit lore, and ac narrow dimensions, but a vanity of incordingly, with such hearers, he passes sufferable extent. for a wonder of erudition and pathos. It did, nevertheless, happen that the Doc- A Suffolk Farmer, whose accent was tor was once detected in his plagiarisms. singularly broad, took his first-born One Sunday, as he was beginning to de- child, a boy, to the Clergyman of the light the sprightly beaux and belles Parish for baptism. He told the Divine belonging to his congregation, a grave his name was to be John, but spoke it old gentleman seated himself close to the so like Joan, that the other concluded it pulpit, and listened with profound at at once to be a girl, and actually perfortention. The Doctor had scarcely finish- med the service appointed by the Church, ed his third sentence, before the grave as if for a female child, without the obold gentleman muttered, loudly enough servation of either the father, mother, or to be heard by those near him,"“ That's two young women present. The parishSherlock !" The Doctor frowned, but clerk finding out the mistake a few days be very is went on. He had not proceeded much afterwards, went in haste to the Vicar
, farther, when his tormenting interruptor imploring him to alter the register, or to broke out with “ That's Tillotson!" The name the child again; but the Divine Doctor bit his lips, and paused, but refused, alleging the impropriety of transagain thought it better to pursue the gressing the rubrical injunction. “ I will thread of his discourse. A third excla- nevertheless, make a memorandum of ser mation of “ That's Blair!” was, how- the circumstance," said he, and wrote ever, too much, and completely ex the following at the foot of the register: hausted all his patience. Leaning over “ Mem. The girl baptized on the 10th the pulpit, “ Fellow," he cried, " if you instant by the name of Joan, proved a do not hold your tongue, you shall be fortnight afterwards (admirabile dicta) turned out." Without altering a muscle to be a boy!" of his countenance, the grave old gentleman lifted up his head, and looking the Doctor in the face, retorted, “That's
Ballad. his own !"
CONNAL AND MARY. THE late Lord Stanhope used to relate the following. Having spent some years By Yarrow strean, that glides aloe
By Miss T abroad, he returned to this country, and ting himself at the door of the
Whose banks the wild thyme sweetly House of Lords in rather a homely dress, Thus Conna?'rais'd his mournful song i was stopped by the door-keeper, who refused him admittance, observing, "why,
By Yarrow, fam'd for faithful lovers. honest man, you have no business here. Farewel!' he cried, a long farewel! There," replied his Lordship, you are Farewel to hope and joy for ever ; right-I believe with you, an honest man
For hope and joy can never dwell, has no business here."
Beside the waves that lovers sever.
"With Mary I have pass'd the day, VANITAS, a man possessed of more
Beside this stream in murmurs flowing; money than sense, called a coach from a
With Mary I have lov'd to stray, stand, in London, and, throwing him
Amid the wild thyme sweetly blowing. self all along upon the the seat, told the Tor her my little flock I left; coachman to drive home.
, ' exclaimed the astonished driver, where my eyelids were of sleep bereft ber
For Mary at the midnight hour, is that your honour pleases to call home?'
My footsteps wander'd round her bower.
'For her it was at dawning day,
* Beneath the turf where once we lov'd, The sweetest flow'rs of spring I blended; This faithfulheart shallcease to languish; For ber at noon-tide's scorching ray,
Beside the bank where once she lov'd,
His dying lips their task deny, 'I form'd a wreath for Mary's hair,
He ceas'd bis tale, his tale of sorrow; Of all my little garden's treasure; And when that wreath she deigu'd to wear,
Cold was his breast, and clos'd bis eye, Is it in words to tell my pleasure ?
Beside the flowing wave of Yarrow.
Methinks that gentle look I see,
A gentleman observing a representation Those happy days she has forgot,
of the Queen in the window of the King's Forgotten are my restless hours;
Arms Inn, in Preston, on Thursday Forgotten is ebe rural spot, Where Mary wore that wreath of flowers. night, observed to a person near him,
“ The Queen is now where she ought to She has forgot the silver tide,
be, in the King's arms.” The tide of Yarrow gently fowing, And Mary is another's bride, Whose sweeter fow'rs than mine are CURRAN had not a very high opinion blowing.
of his biographer Phillips :---He came
into Phillips's room one day while he was 'Blow sweet, ye fow'rs, where'er she be,
writing, and enquired what he was Yestreams in gentler murmurs languish, about. “ I am writing a speech, Sir," But whisper not the charming she,
was the reply; " and I can tell you that That my fond heart now breaks with
I intend to give your friend, Mr. Grattan, anguish.
a rating in it.”
“ Never mind it, Char"Could Mary see that hreaking heart,
ley,” said Curran, “ never mind it; it Each tender wish for her discover,
would only be a child throwing a stone The tear of pity, void of art,
at the leg of a Colossus.
SIR Samuel Garth, the poet and phyWhen this food heart shall cease to sician, being one evening writing a letter flutter,
in a coffee-house, was much embarrassed When down these cheeks no tear shall by an Irish gentleman, who was rude steal,
enough to look over his shoulder all the And these cold lips no sounds shall utter. time. Garth, however, seemed to take
no notice of this, till towards the conLet not reflection tell my love,
clusion, when he humorously added, by How oft she vow'd to be my marrow ; Let not her footsteps ever rove,
way of postcript, “ I should write more;
but there's a d-d tall, impudent IrishAlong the silent banks of Yarrow.
man looking over my shoulder all the Perhaps if near the favor'd spot,
time.”-“What do you mean,
says Where once to me her vows she plighted, the Irishman, “ do you think I looked My ceaseless truth, my early lot,
over your letter ?" --- Sir," says Garth, In artless strains should be recited; coolly, “I never once opened my lips to
you. --“ Aye,” said the other, with an She might forget that ev'ry sigh, oath, “ but you have put it down for all That ev'ry tear of love and sorrow,
.__-“How can that be,” says Garth, That glisten’d in that charming eye, “ when, according to your own account, From others' rights she now must borrow.
you have never looked over my letter ?”' "Oh! may she never hear my woe, Nor fame's loud tongue the tale dis- DURING Lord Townshend's residence
in Dublin as viceroy, he often went in cover, May no rude stone to Mary sbew,
disguise through the city. He had heard The sod which wraps her clay-cold lover. much of the wit of a shoe-black, known
by the name of Blind Peter, whose stand Sussex downs, after divine service, the was always at the Globe Coffee-house rustics of both sexes assemble. The young door. Having found him, his lordship men play at cricket or foot-ball; and the stopt to get his boots cleaned; which maidens, young and old, when opporbeing done, he asked Peter to give him tunity occurs, play at romps
. In the change forhalf-a-guinea. “Half-a-guinea, streets and tea-gardens near London, the your honour!” said the ragged wit, pick-pockets play booty." “ change for half-a-guinea from me! by Testadi Cuojo.
Q.E.D. sir, you may as well ask an Highlander for a knee buckle !” His lordship was so well pleased, that he left him the bit of gold, and walked away.
Epigrams. AT the end of the American war, while general Burgoyne commanded at Cork, he saw a corpulent soldier among the
TO SOME LADIES spectators on the parade, whom he thus Who complained of being removed from addressed : “ Who are you, sir? You
their seats in Church, and placed inmalmust be drilled twice a day to bring down diately under the Pulpit. your corporation. Who
are you?" Why, Ladies, look so very grave, « Please your honour,” replied Pat, “I At having changed your quarters; am the skeleton of the fifth regiment of The pulpit always ought to have, foot, just marched over from America." Such angels for supporters. The fact was so; for such was the carnage of that disastrous war, that only this fat soldier and captain Webb return
At a Freeholder's feast, a merry fellow ed to Europe, out of a full regiment
Drank healtbs, and went to bed at midlanded in America.
Good healths so plentifully went about,
1 dealt fools' dole, and left myself without." THE LORD'S DAY AND SUNDAY. To the Editor of the TICKLER MAGAZINE.
There's but one wise man in the world, SIR,---Having been lately in company
And who d'ye think it be? with a young gentleman "just in orders, 'Tis this man, that man, t'other man: I was so disgusted (not being evangelical)
Every mau thinks 'tis he. by his incessantly using the term Lord's day, instead of Sunday, in common conversation, that I told him, if he did not
PROOF POSITIVE. know the meaning of the Lord's day in fashionable acceptation, I would venture
You say, without reward or fee,
Your uncle cur'd me of a dang'rous ill; to inform him. “ The reason why Sunday is called the
I say he never did prescribe for me, Lord's dayis, because then lords travel,give
The proof is plain—I'm living still. dinners, and play. Of this last word commentators give various interpretations.
A BULL. One says that it means play at cards, An Irishman fishing one day in the Liffey, dice, or back-gammon;' another refers
Which runs close by Dublin's great to'playing on the flute or violoncello at
city so fine ; their own Sunday concerts ;' a third (with a smart shower of rain falling, Pat in a very little courtesy to be sure) observed
jiffey, that it is the only day that they can,
Crept under the arch of a bridge with without adjournment, absent themselves
his line ; from severe parliamentary duties, and
“Arrah, that's not the way to accomplish that they may then be allowed to play
your wishes," the fool by way of relaxation' On the
Cries Dermot, “the devil a bite will you
" Och! brother," says Pat, “ don't you That traced thy course tbrough many a know that the fishes
paiuful year, Will creep under here to keep out of And mark'd thy humble hope, thy pious the wet."
fear.0! when this frame, which yet, while
life remained, JEALOUSY.
Thy duteous love, with trembling band, Well may suspicion sbake its head,
sustained, Well may Clarinda's spouse be jealous, Dissolves (as soon it must), may that When the dear wanton takes to bed
bless'd Pow'r Her very shoes—because they're fellows. Who beam'd on thine, illume my parting
So shall I greet thee, where no ills annoy, Epitaphs.
And what was sown iu grief, is reap'd in
Where worth, obscured below, bursts into To the Editor of the Tickler Magazine.
And those are paid, whom earth could
THE NEW MONUMENT,
LICHFIELD CATHEDRAL.-This beautiful a gratification rarely to be found; for,
and affecting piece of Statuary is placed either through caution, or
at the extremity of the south-west aisle, worthy motive, the cemeteries are closed
running parallel with the new Choir of against the stranger. I have been in the
our Cathedral. The figures repose on practice of passing by the Chapel in
the representation of a mattrass, with a South Audley-street, Grosvenor-square,
pillow at the head, supported on a plain almost every day for several weeks, yet never saw the door of the burying-ground monument; the whole cut from a block
of fine white marble. On the entablaopen till yesterday. I did not neglect
ture of the Monument is the following the opportunity thus offered, but walked
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF
ELLEN JANE, AND MARIANNE,
Only Children low tomb, plain but neat, where I was
of the late Rev. WM. ROBINSON, both pleased and surprised by the follow
And ELLEN JANE bis Wife, ing inscription, which, I believe, has
Their affectionate Mother. never yet appeared in print, and which
In fond remembrance of their seems not unworthy of your miscellany. “ Heav’n-lov'd lonocence,"
Consigns their Resemblances
to this Sanctuary,
In humble gratitude (for more tban twenty years)
For the glorious assurance, that Servant to WILLIAM GIFFORD.
« Of such is the Kingdom of God.” She died February 6, 1815,
At the back of the statuary, placed in in the forty-third year of her age,
the wall, is a plain monument, in black of a tedious and painful malady,
marble, to the Memory of the late Rev. which she bore with exemplary patience and resignation. Wm. Robinson, the departed Parent of
Her deeply afficted Master the reposing Innocents, bearing the folerected this stone to her memory,
lowing Inscription :as a faithful testimony
The Reverend of her uncommon worth,
WILLIAM ROBINSON, B. C. L. and of his perpetual gratitude,
Prebendary of this Cathedral, respect and affection,
Rector of Swinnerton, and Stoke on Trent, for her long and meritorious services.
A pious and excellent man; Though here unknown, dear Ann, thy An able and successful Minister ashes rest,
In the Church of Christ; Still lives thy memory in one grateful Departed this life, March 21, 1812,